7 Absolutely Absurd Explanations For Homosexuality

Originally published on newnownext.com

From masturbation to your mother’s reading preferences, these centuries-old theories are downright ridiculous.

What makes someone gay? For centuries, scientists, philosophers, and clergymen have attempted to answer that question. Some say it’s a matter of genetics, others believe environment plays a factor.

But even the most outlandish contemporary explanations for homosexuality pale in comparison to the “causes” people came up with throughout history. Take a gander.

What books Mom liked to read

Did your mother read “Oriental folklore?” In the 1800s, people believed that could make you turn out gay.

Masturbation

This discredited explanation for homosexuality has its roots in Christianity, which put masturbation in the same category as other “impure” sexual acts. In fact, some religious groups still link the act to being gay: A recently leaked Mormon guidebook warned that masturbation could “reinforce homosexual interests.”

The difference in your parents’ ages

Did your parents have a May-December romance? Congratulations: You could be queer! Notably, this theory was usually in reference to gay men who had older fathers and young mothers.

How you were conceived

Apparently, the position your parents had sex in when you were conceived was believed to affect sexual orientation.

Excessive horseback riding

Horse lovers, beware: It was long rumored that horseback riding put pressure on the gonads, leading to male infertility. But excessive equestrian interest was also historically linked to homosexuality.

Eating too much red meat

Got a hunger for meat? Historically, a carnivorous diet was linked to the homosexual lifestyle. And some religious “experts” still believe that today: The creators of the Hallelujah Diet connect eating animal flesh to homosexuality, breast cancer and obese children. (There’s no word on the link between queer women and veganism, though.)

Uranus (Yes, the planet)

Back in the day, the position of Uranus on your astrological chart explained your sexuality. In 1899, social reformer Edward Carpenter, who lived with a younger male partner, coined the term “Uranian” to refer to male and female homosexuals. For some reason it never really caught on.