“Suck it! Suck it now!”

He snarled the words at me, pulling me forward to him and attempting to shove me on my knees before the small, turgid penis sticking out from his open fly.

I complied. I dropped to my knees. The small knife in his hand, its blade glinting dully in the evening, filled me with dread.

“Suck it quick!” he hissed. “Fa mu!”

I could not believe what was happening. I was seven. He was thirteen, the landlord’s son. He was my friend. We played together quite a lot. He liked to tease me about my effeminate mannerisms, good natured teasing though. He was about the only male friend I had. I was staying with my aunt, growing up as one of her own, amidst the six children she had. Five girls and a boy. The boy was older than me, and not particularly into befriending me. So his sisters were my friends and companions, the ones I had fun growing up with, while I waited for the differences between my mother and father, and their respective partners – differences over me – to be resolved. I had a great time growing up in my aunt’s household. I was happy, loved and carefree.

And now, I was being made to do something I had no idea about before.

“Suck it!” He shoved my head to his crotch.

The knife gleamed warningly nearby.

So I opened my mouth and took his small erection inside its moistness. He sighed with pleasure and began to grind his hip against my face, thrusting back and forth, his penis sliding to and fro inside my mouth.

His climax happened within a few moments. He stiffened and groaned as he ejaculated in my mouth. I recoiled from the salty taste of his semen and his penis slipped out of my mouth. He quickly wiped it against his trousers and zipped it in. then he turned to me and said with a very mean expression, “If you tell anyone” – he lifted the knife threateningly – “I will kill you.”

I was seven, and he was thirteen.

And the threat registered on my young mind, and sealed my lips. I never told anyone. Even though I began dreading having to go on evening errands when I knew I’d have to run into him, occurrences that would have him pouncing and dragging me off into an isolated corner to fellate him, I never let on to anyone what was going on. He did say he would kill me if I talked.

The molestation went on for about seven months, and then one evening, my cousins and I returned home from a church carol night to see my bags packed and my father waiting.

It was time to go live with him. And his wife. And his three other children.

That night marked the beginning of the next three hellish years of my life. My father’s wife was the very definition of the ‘evil stepmother’. She’d met my father when he was dating my mother, and he cheated on my mother by sleeping with her. He impregnated her, and she had a son. But my father loved my mother too much to leave her for another woman, so he rejected both mother and child, somehow managing to keep them a secret from my mother. She eventually found out three years later, when she had conceived me and was on the verge of marrying my father. The knowledge of his betrayal however ended their relationship, and I was born out of wedlock. Both my parents eventually moved on into different marriages, mother to a new man and father back to his baby mama.

But my stepmother could never get the fact that my father once rejected her because of my mother out of her mind. And it didn’t help that marriage didn’t make my father love her. So she unleashed her bitterness on me. At eight years of age, I began to know the hardship that Cinderella endured in the hands of her stepmother. And as though she wasn’t satisfied with her evil, she always managed to get my father incited against me over fabricated offences I’d committed, causing the naturally hot-tempered man to lash out at me with beatings.

Several times, I lamented to my mother, and each time, she tried to console me with encouragements for me to endure, that I was being disciplined for a future of not expecting life to be rosy always. But I refused to be pacified by this. I ran away two times to my mother’s house, and got sent back both times. It was only later that I got to know that my mother was working on her husband to accept me, before she could act on the decision of taking me away from my father’s house. When I ran away the third time to her house, my stepfather finally gave in and declared that I wasn’t going back. And so, three years later, my hell ended.

Without the fear and anguish that characterized my life in those three years, I was able to feel other things. Like the absolute adoration I began to develop for a neighbour when I was about fifteen. He (Obi) and his older brother are Igbos. The older brother owned a small chain of hardware businesses, and Obi was serving as his apprentice. Obi, who was much older than me, soon took a liking to me, and we soon became fast friends. He had an intense affection for me, the kind of a protective older brother. With him, I felt safe and secured. And pampered too, because he was wont to doing anything I asked of him.

I didn’t know it then, but I began to fall in love with him. And perhaps it was good for me that I wasn’t sexually aware at that age, because I was saved the torture of lusting after a man who, by all indications, cared only for women and making money.

He eventually began to make money, when he first ended his apprenticeship and struck out on his own. His work schedule became more hectic, and his mind more consumed with thoughts of making more money. The hustle was real and consuming, and gradually left less and less of him for me. He was still my friend, just not as attentive anymore. That hurt. And I found myself aching for something I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

My stepfather had a number of children from previous marriages, but I grew up with the last two of his children. Both of them are males. The last was older than me by a year. We shared a room and a bed. And he (Femi) became the one who brought sexual awareness to me.

It started on a night when I was startled awake by the sense of friction against the back of my thigh. It was Femi rubbing his dick against my leg. His movements were jerky, as though he feared waking me up and yet couldn’t stop himself. I remained totally still, wide awake, heart pounding, and nursing a sense of intrigue that gradually bloomed as I listened to and felt my stepbrother racing toward his climax. He stifled his groan and pulled away from me, but not before I felt the moistness of his ejaculation.

I lay there still, waiting for . . . I don’t know what I was waiting for. But nothing happened again that night. Moments later, his soft snores filled the room, and then, I too slowly drifted back to sleep.

Femi never talked to me about what happened the next morning. And why would he? He didn’t know I’d been aware of what he did.

And he didn’t stop. For the next three nights, he humped my thighs, each time waking me up, each time filling me with more intrigue than revulsion. By the second night, I’d begun to expect his humping. By the third night, I was awake when he came to me. And on the fourth night, I reached my hand backward and grasped his dick as he moved close. He froze. I got busy, moving my hand up and down over his dick, and masturbated him to his orgasm. He came, moved back to his side of the bed, and we went back to sleep.

And yet, even with the mutual awareness, we never talked about it. And there was no awkwardness between us. And we didn’t stop. Every night we were in the same bed, I would wank him. He’d come. And then we’d go back to sleep. Soon, he gained admission into the university, and a year later, I followed suit. I went to join him and his older brother in their house off campus, and our nocturnal shenanigans continued. My hands were soon replaced with my mouth, and those nights were filled with the slurping sounds of my mouth working his dick, and his gasping breaths as he relished my ministrations.

By day, we were brothers. By night, we were lovers . . . of sorts.

His older brother, Yinka, was totally unaware of our relations. He was a deep sleeper.

A time however came when Femi began to spend more time outside, spending his days at his friends’ places, so they could study together. His absence became frequent, and I began to miss him very much. To miss the things we did in the cover of the dark.

I soon began to realize that it wasn’t exactly him I missed. It was the feel of an erection in my mouth, the sensation of that hardened stretch of skin and muscles moving to and fro inside my moistness, the sensuous power I felt swell inside me with every strained breathing, every moan of pleasure, knowing that I was doing this to him, that I had him under my hold for those few minutes that my fellatio gave him satisfaction.

My hunger made my eyes stray.

To Yinka’s friends who often came around to spend the night. I stared at them as they lounged about in their boxers. I stared at their thighs, which stretched upward, vanishing behind the fabric of their boxers. I stared at their crotches, at the telltale signs of dicks pressing lazily against the fronts of the boxers. My mouth watered. My blood turned hot. And my resolve gradually strengthened. I had to have them.

And so, one night, as they snored peacefully in their slumber, I stole across the room to the guy with the choicest bulge. With my heart hammering against my rib cage, I placed my hand on his crotch. I could feel his semi-hard dick. I stealthily pulled it out from inside the boxers. Then I leaned forward and took it in my mouth and began to work my magic. My lips. My tongue. His dick. They slipped and slid over each other. The dick grew and hardened. Murmurs of pleasure came from its owner. I licked, sucked and nibbled, until his cum came spurting in my mouth.

And he slept through it all.

I slipped his penis back underneath his boxers and went back to bed.

Hat became the first of many such nocturnal trysts. The males that came to visit and slept over. Dicks of varying sizes. In the cover of the dark. While the males lay still and heavily asleep, I ministered to them and gave them pleasure they’d only get to know in their dreams.

Dissatisfied with giving orgasms to sleeping men, I began to connect with a few hookups; a few, because most of them wanted more than I was willing to give, which was just a blowjob. I could go no further. No penetrative sex, not me into anyone, and not anyone into me. A few times, I’d wondered why I couldn’t bring myself to go the whole ten yards. I watched gay porn, and the more I took in the sights of the Bottoms twisting beneath or gyrating above thrusting Tops, ramrod dicks tearing into assholes, and faces contorted in varying expressions of pain and pleasure, the more I realised that – No! – it wasn’t for me. I couldn’t bring myself to do all that with anyone.

So I stuck to my blowjobs. So far, only two sleeping men have woken up to me sucking their dicks (story for another day). But the discoveries have not daunted me. I don’t know, perhaps, one day, I’ll meet someone who’ll affect me so profoundly that I’ll shed my clothes and either spread my legs for him or cause him to spread his (See? I don’t even know what role I favour). Until then, I’ll take the graduation of the sexual part of me one day at a time.

Written by Lumi

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  1. Khaleesi
    June 03, 04:57 Reply

    Wow! A riveting and spellbinding narrative … thoroughly enjoyed this piece,nice one Lumi!
    And … yaay!!! First to comment!! ***bows deeply to accept agbaya (overgrown baby) award from Pinky***

  2. GOld
    June 03, 05:00 Reply

    Wow, this is nice Lumi.The journey to self discovery takes time.You will definitely know which u belong to soon.

    That said, I really missed kd these few days.

  3. Ace
    June 03, 05:18 Reply

    Now, this nocturnal dick sucking story brings back lots of memories from my early gay days. The boys I made shudder and the ones that kept pretending but kept coming back. Oh well, y’all better hold a large bag of popcorn on judgment day cos my life footage would be all kinds of nasty.

  4. Tobby
    June 03, 05:38 Reply

    Nice entry. Really missed kd

  5. pete
    June 03, 05:38 Reply

    lumi,are you still doing this nocturnal sucking as I’ll need to hire you

  6. Francis
    June 03, 05:51 Reply

    The humping sessions was with my cousin and I always played dumb. Nigga woke up one morning and started ignoring me and since then we grew apart and stopped talking. Till date sef, I avoid all communication with the nigga as he’s quite a notorious somebody. Make temptation no go fall my hand and blackmail go ensue.

    The nocturnal dick sucking sessions was with one of my roommates in secondary school after I unwittingly seduced him one night while we were serving “lie under the bed” punishment. He became distant after that night and it pained me bad as I had a massive crush on him. *I still do* Gradually we got talking sha but it wasn’t like before though I kept creeping at night to suck him off. Till date the distinct smell of his crotch stays vivid in my mind. We haven’t spoken since we left secondary school though I have his contacts. Part of me feels guilty for seducing him as he probably isn’t gay and I might have “ruined” his life thus I don’t want to initiate communication and bring back memories he might have fought hard to suppress.

  7. Tobby
    June 03, 06:17 Reply

    Dia is dis my friend sammy by name, Tall, dark lovely kissable lips, just d way I love a uy I fit die at his hand. He keeps calling me his bf buh he is str8(at lest dats wot I knw of him). I wish to just have him buh can’t try nonsense cos most of my frriends are str8 nd keeping out of scandel.

    • chestnut
      June 03, 06:43 Reply

      @Tobby: those confusionists! Those straight guys that will unashamedly shower u with profuse “love” and “affection” and “pseudo-sexual attention”…I had one of them in school(my class gan sef,lol).those ppl can make a niggah to run mad,cos u never know whether they’re serious or they’re joking, and u dare not gather liver to try ursef,or else, “sorry” might become ur name…*sigh*

      Lumi,wow! Ur story is really…something. Hope u’re more careful now o; I know a couple of duded that have gotten black eyes from trying to fellate sleeping thugs.

  8. Masked Man
    June 03, 06:43 Reply

    Even if I want to, I cannot lie.
    I did this more times than happy date to count.
    I came alive in the night time.
    I was a vampire, but blood wasn’t my food.
    I look back at those years, and I detest them. I curse such curiosity.
    Horrible things that I’ve done.

  9. MagDiva
    June 03, 06:58 Reply

    Hmmm….. Isn’t this kinda rape if you are sucking them without them knowing or their permission. “Rape – unlawful sexual intercourse without the consent of the victim” #justSaying

    Dont wanna really be promoting this and people thinking it’s ok or finding yet again another reason to hate gay folks. #justMy2penceWithChange

  10. Ueze
    June 03, 07:27 Reply

    Everyone is going WOW!
    And no one is seeing all the wrongness in this one article!

    • Sinnex
      June 03, 07:54 Reply

      Why don’t you do us all a favour by spelling it out.

      • Eros
        June 03, 09:08 Reply

        Ever heard of the word “molestation”?

    • Max
      June 03, 14:03 Reply

      Just because you didn’t do it doesn’t mean others didn’t. This is why girls and boys don’t sleep in the same room. We’re attracted to boys and we r made to sleep with them daily, so these things are bound to happen.

      • Chuck
        June 03, 16:22 Reply

        Others doing it is not a justification for rape

  11. Sinnex
    June 03, 07:50 Reply

    Now I am hard and dont know what to do.

    You get mind sha…

      • Brian Collins
        June 03, 08:34 Reply

        Well the post was quite exciting for me too as it brought back very fund memories. I thought you’d know considering the “Horrible things i’ve done”.

  12. Ueze
    June 03, 09:35 Reply

    No, not the molestation part. Clearly, peace has been made with that.

    Was the whole point of this to garner accolades over the subject’s fellating skills?
    One he acquired by creeping up on sleeping boys?
    And whose discovery does not inspire fear or intimidation?
    Perhaps, it’s the suggestion that finding someone to rip the subject’s clothes off or have theirs clothes ripped off by the subject is the next step in the being-gay manual?

    Wow! (insert high-fives)
    Look how far we’ve come!

  13. ronniephoenix
    June 03, 09:39 Reply

    O MG, molestation,rape… whatever. this post was superb!!!.

  14. Ruby
    June 03, 09:52 Reply

    Nice piece Lumi!
    The road to self discovery takes time.
    You will find yourself soon enough!

  15. Mandy
    June 03, 10:25 Reply

    I’m sorry, but this is sick. Sick! Sick! SICK! Giving blowjobs to unsuspecting guys while they are asleep smacks of some other level of creepiness. And resting on that and not actually going out there to be a healthy gay guy who actually shags or gets shagged? *smh* I dunno which virgin is worse here, Lumi or Sinnex…

  16. JamesJemima
    June 03, 10:33 Reply

    I am/was a rapist?? The horror!! I’m pleading not guilty based on those stupid teenage hormones. Mine didn’t reach bj tho. Una get mind.

    Intriguing piece but I think you’re supposed to drop the nighttime feeding.. Before something goes horribly wrong. But maybe it’s your fetish.. Well good luck!!

  17. Nero
    June 03, 11:04 Reply

    I love this piece to nuts. I was laughing while reading this cos I went through this school n graduated

  18. Chuck
    June 03, 12:08 Reply

    Twisted. Why don’t you find people who are interested instead of raping people? Then you’ll complain about discrimination. You’re a rapist.

  19. Gad
    June 03, 14:34 Reply

    Beautifully conveyed encounters.

  20. Nelo
    June 03, 14:50 Reply

    This was quite interesting but again Creepy…the fact that he went on molesting everyone of his step brothers friend most nights and again still craving for his step brother don’t just seen okay with me. For someone who is an undergraduate, Mehn he should know better. This is just Wrong on so many levels and abnormal for his age.

  21. Gad
    June 03, 15:15 Reply

    Let us hope that this uselessness was in the past and has been put behind the writer. No self degradation can be worse than those acts. In case you still continues with this I strongly believe you need to see Sensei or his colleagues.

  22. Seyi Adeoye
    June 03, 15:25 Reply

    This post got me reminiscing. Mine started as an experiment of which I was a wilful consent, all these stories of people who were abused just makes me angry.

    But then to go on turning everybody to your plaything, hurgh! That feels so wrong. I lived in an hostel for 5 good years, dealing with dicks of different sizes every morning in the bathroom not to talk about voyeurist roommates but I never for once tried anything silly, maybe I’m not just gutsy.
    Nice story

  23. MagDiva
    June 03, 16:09 Reply

    I’m appalled by the glorification of this act. I don’t want to take away from the writer who I believe did an excellent job in penning this down, but what’s wrong is wrong and this is!! And Max justifying it by saying ‘we are attracted to boys and made to sleep in the same room with them daily so these things are bound to happen” I do hope that when you find your self sleeping in the same room with another man and he decides to ‘taketh by force’ what to him he feels is (bound to happen) that you are ok with that.

    Dear Lumi, I implore you to please find someone you can have a healthy relationship with because this is far from healthy and shouldn’t be considered normal even though I know people use the excuse of how the Nigerian society is to cover up bad behaviour and amoral acts. We don’t want to read or hear how about you WHEN you do get caught; cos as my mother used to say “everyday is for the thief, but one day is for the owner” (or something to that effect).

    Being gay is not just about the sex or pleasure from acts. Discover yourself, find out who you are, what you like (apart from this), speak to people you can trust, join forums, read and educate your mind, but you do need to discontinue what it is you are doing (if you still are). Good luck

  24. Sasuke Uchiha
    June 04, 01:42 Reply

    Y’all have interesting back stories tho… I’m gay cuz I was scared to talk to girls when I was still a toddler. Also cuz my first porno was at age 8…straight porno… Didn’t have dick till I was 24

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