July 26

I went to get myself tested for HIV. I told some people this and was surprised when they said “Why?” By people I mean my gay friends and acquaintances. First of all, why not? Secondly, things may be worse than I thought when it comes to being responsible. The fact that there has to be a reason to go get yourself checked apart from the reason of “it’s a duty I owe to myself” is a bit appalling. Honestly I don’t think you need to have unprotected sex before you check for HIV. Or doesn’t anyone remember that you can get it in other ways besides sex? At least, do it once a year if you’re the most careful of people, because you can never be too sure.

However there was a reason I went to check. I had unprotected sex about three months ago, and a condom tore around that time. Honestly, the idea of “no condom” seemed exciting at the time, but the months of worry and anxiety that followed was not beans. I’d fall sick and begin to wonder, or I’d read all the HIV propaganda and my heart would beat fast. I don’t think a few minutes of pleasure is worth a few months of worry. I’m going to buy packs of durex as soon as I have extra money to waste… I don’t want excuses for next time. I normally avoid asking people I’m chatting with or interested in whether they use condoms because I think the talk of condoms and STIs is unsexy, but to avoid things getting out of hand, I’ll also have to start doing that. Better to cut things short before we reach the bedroom and testosterone clouds my judgment.

I’ve also been wondering about gay rape. I don’t mean the rape of a young boy and an older man or anything along those lines. I mean two gay adults. Does it ever happen? If it has happened to you or someone you know, I’d like to know in the comment section.

Speaking of rape, I’m thinking of buying a pen knife. Lol. Just to be on the safe side of things and have some protection against people who will not let a person’s No be No. It might also help me in a kito situation. Not that I intend on going to meet anyone in their houses when I’ve got mine. But you know, just in case.

A friend of mine came visiting with another friend of mine. Let’s call ‘em Daniel and Lolu.  Daniel is a narcissistic creature who considers himself perfect and is looking for the perfect man. He’s in limbo with his sexuality and religion and has made the compromise of not having sex (it’s been seven months, according to him. I CHOOSE to give him the benefit of the doubt), but he watches gay porn a helluva lot. Lol.

Anyway, me, Daniel and Lolu were gisting when Daniel brought up a chat when I was defending two Queens. The thing is that those Queens are my friends and he sent a message saying:  “Don’t you ever try and get me in the same room with those falsetto-singing faggot bitches” or something of that nature, and I flared up but politely asked him not to insult my friends again.

I asked what he has against them, and what it boils down to was that they are obvious. “And I’m not obviously gay,” he said smugly, sprawling in his seat in what he probably considered a macho manner.

If I had a brick, I would have tossed it at his face to snap him out of his daydream. Not that obvious, my sweet behind! If he’s not that obvious, then the sun is the colour purple and pigs can fly. So I’ve added another trait to him… delusional. Chai! Such internalized homophobia. Sure, to the clueless straight person, he might seem straight, but to people who know, he stands out like a white man at Obalende bus stop. Fool. I didn’t bother trying to snap him back to reality sha… Ain’t nobody got time for that.

Ahem! I am broke, by the way. And me is looking for a nice handsome sugar daddy to cater to my every whim with the perks of awesome sex and my awesome personality. Lol.

On a more serious note though, at this point in my life, I can see why some people sell their bodies. Not like I’m starving, but I can’t get what I WANT and it’s frustrating. To make things worse, I can’t get a part-time job because of the tedious nature of my course. I was actually a bit ashamed at the thought of wanting someone to take care of me, but a friend of mine told me that it’s not bad… we all feel like that once in a while.

Anyways I’ll just hold on and be patient and try to be content with garri for breakfast, eba for lunch and cornflakes that I’m managing for dinner.

As if I wasn’t already skinny enough.

Written by James

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  1. Dennis Macauley
    July 27, 05:46 Reply

    Keeps improving! Kudos! White man @ obalende bus stop? That got me reeling with laughter.

    I get tested atleast two times a year, it’s important people test from time to time. it could save you

  2. Fitzgerald
    July 27, 06:47 Reply

    Hehehe… ‘White man at Obalende Bus-Stop?’ I’m in church oh, let people not be looking at me like a mad man cos of how I’m laughing. Anyway, there are some gay guys that are very hard to be found out cos the straight-acting sha, na something else. Good piece tho, James.

  3. Arabian Princess
    July 27, 06:54 Reply

    lol…were boi… for rape, I have me a pepper spray to take around… u touch me, I spray u…and by d way, Ramadan Mubarak.

    *whistling away trying to find where to pray eid…..bye

  4. dolapo
    July 27, 06:56 Reply

    Its good to test U̶̲̥̅̊r self often I do mine every 3 or 4 months, a̶̲̥̅̊₪d̶̲̥̅̊ as per d gay rape I had it wen I was btw 6 n 9 yrs of age

  5. simba
    July 27, 07:16 Reply

    Nice, I ll get back to u on tht discussion. I ve actually been sad, Lil depressed cus of some situations around here. It’s not bad if once a while u allow somebody take care of ur needs but don’t get too relaxed dear, it’s addictive. Its a proper thing to get tested, but should be according to persons history and occupation. Testing 3/12 after exposure may not give accurate results, u should know tht son.

  6. Lothario
    July 27, 08:36 Reply

    Lol James….a white man at Obalende bus stop isn’t such a rare sight, maybe Mile 2 then we’re in business. Good one! And please, always be responsible!

  7. Chizzie
    July 27, 08:37 Reply

    This was a good read surprisingly, especially since much of it is really relatable. I remember as a student too, how some days I would have one meal a day and where the thought of prostitution /getting a suga daddy seemed “appropriate”, now I look back at those days and smirk a little; at how everything we go through good or bad always comes together to form what seems like a very cohesive and interesting book authored by God; some have happy endings some do not. So my sincere advise is that u pull through and no you do not need a suga daddy; this is a passing phase. There’s nothing as self satisfying as solving your problems through your own means as opposed to sleeping your way through . With time you’ll look back and say “im glad that’s over! ”

    and I also think I need a pocket knife too, mostly because I feel like killing ppl half of the time

    • Khaleesi
      July 27, 14:42 Reply

      Yaaayyy!! our caustic Bitch is back!! i was just about to start a #bringbackourchizzie# campaing with sit-outs to be held in front of Sista Pinky’s house everyday …

    • sensuousensei
      July 31, 13:45 Reply

      Um…chizzie, darling, er…I don’t think the pocket knife wud be such a good idea for you. I have never heard of a serial killer in Nigeria and um…I don’t want it to be you,…dear. (Lol)

  8. kendigin
    July 27, 09:28 Reply

    i soooo hate the daniels of society. super hypocrites

  9. king
    July 27, 10:02 Reply

    Ah well such is life they say rite?…anyway loved the remark u have about d Daniel boi..yes he is a boi cause he has such a big blind spot am amazed!! it’s actually called “complex “…..anyways keep it coming..i just get excited whenever I see kito tins!!!

    • Absalom
      July 27, 11:39 Reply

      You get excited when you hear kito things? You mind explaining that to the *swings arm in an arc* house?

      • king
        August 03, 11:25 Reply

        Oh sorry didn’t mean kito tins in dat sense …i just meant I feel at home here in this blog…it’s soo real and true!! luv u all…

  10. Khaleesi
    July 27, 14:52 Reply

    Great rambling session James, always fun to take a peek into your mind. **hugs**

  11. victor
    July 27, 17:05 Reply

    James never disappoints. I dnt have a problem with bitchy guys,I actually find them fun but its just dangerous when u are seen with much of them.

  12. trystham
    July 27, 17:14 Reply

    Once I plucked the guts to do the testing during one of our club’s campaign, I get tested at EVERY point where I can do it F.O.C. Doesn’t change the fact that the drmbeats of apprehension has not diminished since the 1st time. And those lab guys can like to put sumbori on suspense ehn…smh. It surprising sometimes when d lab ppl ask me why I came for the test in the 1st place. HELLO!!!

    If I ever get to handle a weapon, its to kill dem effeminate-haters. They die before the confirmed homophobes. Mtchewwww

  13. poshyydude
    July 27, 20:14 Reply

    Thanks I think I will have too get tested too been long since I had myself checked

  14. Manly Bottom
    July 29, 22:48 Reply

    I just loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove this site! I feel at home here. For once its not all about hooking u! Since i came across this site, i have been sharing it on my gay facebook profile with many dedicated followers. I’m a public figure so i am still in the closet. You all can do better though by exposing gay scamers in Nigeria. Check Lagosheat.wordpress.com or Fakers2go.wordpress.com to see what i mean. Those sights are no longer being updated though, but you can learn a thing or two from them

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