JUST LIKE OLIVER TWIST (A Chain Of Unhappiness)
EDITOR’S NOTE: The beginning part of this story, JUST LIKE OLIVER TWIST, was told back in January. And since then, there have been developments to the lives of the people in the story.
Check on it.
*
When Prince broke up with me, odd as it may have seemed, I did not feel guilty or sad. What I felt could only be described as ‘a sense of loss’ – loss that felt like a deep, dark and dank unending pit characterized by an ominous silence. I felt like I was floating in empty space, devoid of all my sensory nerves.
When I broke up with Kore however, all my emotions were let loose and I soon realized I wasn’t hurting because of Kore; I was missing Prince. I still miss him. I have tried dating a couple of guys since then, but those never worked out. My heart lies with Prince.
I had to leave his father’s company, where I was working, because I just couldn’t stand being around anything that remotely reminded me of him. I got another job, which is nothing compared to my former job. I also had to leave the house he rented for me in Ikeja for a much smaller one in Oshodi; I sold my car to furnish the house. I am just managing through life.
When I saw Anne (Prince’s female bestie) at the supermarket, all pregnant and engaged to Prince, I suspected something was off, but I didn’t know what exactly that was. As fate would have it, a friend of mine, Akan, had gotten acquainted with someone close to Prince via Grindr. His name is Seyi, and he was someone who kept pestering Prince for a relationship before I came into the picture. When I figured out the access that Akan’s thing with Seyi had given me to Prince, I took the opportunity to find out what I could about what was going on in Prince’s life, without letting Seyi know of my involvement. I would tell Akan the questions I wanted answers to, and he would somehow get them out from Seyi and come back to give me all the (heartbreaking) details.
Apparently, Prince still hates me. Or he hated what I did to him, because, it would seem he still had a soft spot for me. While learning about this warmed my heart some, I couldn’t take the risk of reaching out to him for fear of being shut out again.
Also, just like I’d suspected, Anne’s pregnancy was a mistake. After our breakup, Prince was so devastated, he sought solace in alcohol. Anne had gone to see him on one of those days to commiserate with him, and he’d been stupid drunk. One thing led to another – she really did still love him and she was ready to do anything to make him feel better – and so, they ended up having unprotected sex.
A few months after, she told him she was pregnant. This devastated him even more. This seemed to happen to him because of me. Anne was quick to let him know he didn’t have to marry her because she knew he didn’t love her. He insisted though, because he’s a responsible man. And so, they got engaged.
Anne hated me (she still does, I guess) because I hurt the man she loved, and now, she was going to have to endure a marriage where the love was one-sided.
And according to Akan, Seyi also hates me because I was apparently the reason Prince wasn’t “giving him any greenlight.”
Prince eventually moved to the Island to stay with his parents because he did not want to risk running into me on the mainland.
Two weeks ago, Akan dropped very unpleasant news on me.
Anne had miscarried her pregnancy some weeks back. A distraught Prince didn’t see any reason to go on with the marriage plan, and so, he called off his engagement to her. So now, Anne is bitter and she hates Prince for “using her as second fiddle and throwing her away like a used wretched ragdoll.”
All because of me.
Of course, Prince’s hate for me must have quadrupled by now, and I hate myself for starting off a chain of unpleasant events.
Every single evil is my fault. I accept all the blame. I don’t think I can ever be happy in my life ever again.
Last I heard, Prince had apparently applied for a PhD program in Stockholm and is preparing to leave the country.
I have no doubt that I might never get to see him again or even get the opportunity to make things right.
And for this, I do not deserve happiness.
Written by Tony
About author
You might also like
THAT OTHER OPEN LETTER TO BOTTOMS
Whoever said the open letters from the tops was finished thought wrong. These bruthas be vexing. I got another letter – this one from someone who’s an ex-lover (Hush! Don’t
THAT THING AROUND YOUR NECK
In my twenty-six years of life on earth, I have had my fair share of ups and downs. Part of the ups is that I am good looking and book
360 Degrees
So the night came, recently, when I went out for a shave. My barber in Port Harcourt has a PhD when it comes to haircuts, and he loves male customers
22 Comments
Zoar
May 12, 07:32Gays have the best lives in the World then use their hands to ruin it. It’s as if Gays are self destructive.
They just like a sad tale or something and they forget that one bad decision has a ripple effect on the people they are attached to sometimes for Life.
Gays should learn to do better.
And I keep saying this for the millionth time that LOVE is a very strong word and we in Africa don’t really know the meaning and gravity of that simple word. It’s just like when a White Man tells you HATE is a strong word to use on another human because they understand how these things work. If you truly love someone then there are just somethings you can’t do around or with them because you’ll constantly be thinking of their own happiness and well-being as well.
See how your bad decisions is affecting people all over the place?
Delle
May 12, 08:18There’s something so abhorrent in this comment. And God so help me, it’s not even in the incessant use of ‘Gays’ as though we’re some mapped out specimen with DNA different from other humans.
Smh.
What the writer did, isn’t a function of his sexuality, Mr Zoar. Anyone could have done that. Y’all should know when not to conflate sexual orientation for persona.
Your being gay doesn’t really affect the way you handle things. My goodness!
Pink Panther
May 12, 09:16“What the writer did isn’t a function of his sexuality… Anyone could have done that.”
Well put. ?
People make bad decisions all the time. It’s not a exclusive default of “gays” to make bad decisions.
Mikey?
May 17, 18:51Thank you for correcting that impression. A lot of us blame ourselves for everything, for me there’s no, or there should be no different between the love we share
Zoar
May 12, 12:39Let’s count the percentage of broken/thriving gay relationships to the percentage of broken/thriving heterosexual Relationships.
I didn’t make any mistakes when I was reiterating the fact that Gays find it extremely hard to just keep to commitments and just stay True to what they’re confessing with their mouths
Whether you choose to believe it or not Homosexual relationships have the scariest number of broken relationships and these things have a way of affecting people for LIFE!!!
If you can’t act the word LOVE which comes with baggages like commitment, faithfulness, Trust, Discipline, maturity, Tolerance, adaptation etc then DON’T get into a relationship.
Some people just throw that word all over the place and they really don’t even know what it entails.
You claim to LOVE someone and you could cheat on him with a clear mind? You claim to LOVE someone and you can grow out of that same LOVE in tbe shortest possible time because of one frivolous excuse? Do people really know how DEEP that word LOVE is?
Just be your damn self and don’t use your indecisiveness to harm other people.
Pink Panther
May 12, 12:46“Let’s count the percentage of broken/thriving gay relationships to the percentage of broken/thriving heterosexual relationships.”
You didn’t do that though. Sure. Start counting those percentages please, let’s see what your answer will prove. Don’t give the impression of fact and logic, and then go on to use supposition to make a point that is problematic.
Fact remains that people make all sorts of bad decisions because they’re HUMAN and irregardless of their sexuality.
Delle
May 12, 17:21Please just leave him to keep missing the point.
Zoar
May 12, 17:46Maybe you’re the one NOT seeing things the way I see it. Remember we all can’t see things from thesame perspective
Why are most gay relationships failing?
These are the things I am trying to point out not the fact that all humans are prone to such mistakes of which I know already.
But can we address why Gay Relationships always end in tears?
Out of 100 gay Relationships that Start together, after one month you’ll be shocked at the number of Relationships in the 100 that has hit the rocks.
What is the cause of that if not the fact that we mostly don’t know what we want or most of us can’t take a concrete decision of what we actually want?
And I keep reiterating the fact that most gays experience a flash of infatuation mixed with lust for a split second and all of a sudden, they’re calling it Love. After a few rounds of sex with the person, you finally realize that you’re no more into the guy you said you Love a few days, weeks etc ago?
Why not just call it what it is other than bastardize the actual meaning of the word LOVE?
Flexsterous
May 17, 22:40This has nothing to do with the post and I hate to be the grammar police, but I see a lot of people make this mistake and I just want to correct it. “Irregardless” isn’t an English word, the opposite of “regarding” is just “regardless”
Raymond
May 20, 11:05That should be expected in the gay community. Men are polygamous by nature, bringing two guys into an equation will often lead to relationship issues. I wish Tony’s story had ended happier.
Haiku
May 12, 15:42This comment stinks cheap prejudice.Any person ,sane too could fuckn do any mistake,in light of the last episode,he did no mistake. let not desperation hinder reasonability
Delle
May 12, 08:16I don’t think there’s anyone who’s deserving of unhappiness; even the shittiest persons who’ve done the most horrid of things when genuinely remorseful, deserve to be happy.
Or at least, content.
You’re feeling this way, rightly so, because you’ve not gotten closure. You’re so enclosed in your cocoon of regret and pity that you fail to see that perhaps a conversation could make a whole lot of difference.
Perhaps, it’s not late. Reach out to him. I won’t berate you for running away from what you should ordinarily confront (leaving the Father’s company and all that could seem a bit drastic to some), but I understand. That’s the conflict-handling style for many people. But you see, I’ve come to realise that it solves nothing. The ache only festers.
Let Prince know how sorry you are. Let him know how much you feel disgusted with yourself at what you did to him. His anger might be quadrupled because of your lack of communication and seeming reluctance to own up to your misdeed.
One by one you’ll start to correct these things. But it would need a push. Nothing is going to happen if you’re all holed up in your apartment and crying into your cloth.
Do the needful.
You deserve to be happy, Tony. We all do.
Ken
May 12, 08:21The amount of hate in this piece is unbelievable. Like everybody hates everybody for everything?? This is sure to leave many people depressed.
That said, life is what u make of it. When faced with challenges of life u can either curl up in a dark corner and die or stand up and face your challenge. Who told u u would never be happy again ?? It’s a big lie. Pick up your life and move on. Everyone else seems to already have.
Mandy
May 12, 10:42Tony, you really, really, REALLY have to get out of this frame of mind and forgive yourself. Because, guess what, none of this is your fault! Not really.
All you did was break a man’s heart. That’s all. You are not some sort of paranormal human whose actions have the mind-bending capabilities of altering every other action in the universe.
You didn’t cause Prince to sleep with Anne. That is entirely on him; he is the one who chose to drink away his sorrows (which I find curious. Isn’t he supposed to be this stoic aromantic person who isn’t capable of loving? Why then is your betrayal affecting him the way those who love are affected?). But I digress. He chose to get blitzed on alcohol and chose to have sex with the nearest comforting arms. You didn’t make him do that. You didn’t make him lose all common sense as to forget to use condoms for the sex. He did.
You didn’t cause his sperm to fertilize Anne’s eggs with one hit. Biology did.
You didn’t force Prince to be the responsible gentleman and offer to marry Anne, even though she had told him he didn’t have to do that. He made that decision on his own.
You didn’t force Anne to accept his proposal, even though she was FULLY aware that he didn’t love her and was only doing what he did out of hurt. She made that decision herself.
You didn’t force Prince to ignore Seyi and be committed to you. So Seyi hating you shouldn’t even count in your emotional spectrum.
You didn’t force Anne to fall in love with and because of her love, getting embittered at a man who couldn’t give her what she wanted from him. She did.
You didn’t make the miscarriage of their child to happen. Again, biology did that.
You honestly should forgive yourself. Forgive yourself even before thinking about reaching out to Prince to make things right. Realize that you were human enough to fall for Kore’s lies and to betray Prince. It doesn’t make you the Big Bad Guy. It just makes you human. Forgive yourself and believe in your happiness again.
Zoar
May 12, 12:48This is where we keep getting it wrong.
Now all of a sudden it’s not Tony’s fault????
It is because we don’t actually know the effect of a BROKEN HEART ?. That’s why we keep doing it to people.
A man with a broken heart can do anything ranging to even killing!!
All these things wouldn’t have happened if Tony didn’t betray or break Prince Heart.
Emotional Battles and Struggles are the most painful to humans.
And how we choose to react to it is totally what makes us humans too.
Mikkiyfab
May 12, 13:44@ Mandy, that right there is the truth.
Higwe
May 12, 11:40I’ve always had this belief that works for me …
#I always get everything I want #
…..
When I was much younger I didn’t know how to download music from the internet and I love music so much.
I’d travel from Nkpor to three three just to get my friend to download wrecking ball for me ?
* Yes I also got to see him naked a lot of times because he showered with the door open but that’s beside the point *
The trip costing me over 1k naira to get a 3 minute song. ?
People thought I was a spendthrift and wastrel who didn’t know something better to do with his father’s money but I was just building up my belief which is ” always getting what I want ” …..no matter the cost or stress .
Today I can swear to you that if I’ve wanted 100 stuffs , I’ve gotten over 90 percent of them with the others pending .
I’ve never minded cheating , lying , kowtowing; being unctuous .
If it eventually leads to ticking that point off , I’m always game .
I have no special powers ( even though pastors always say I’m a marine spirit ?) …but I’ve exhibited no supernatural powers as far as I know.
It’s a belief I’ve cultivated and grown overtime and I’ve lived it like it’s a commandment.
***************
Which brings me to you dear .
If you believe you don’t deserve happiness , you’ll never ever be happy.
The soul of man is extremely powerful and the energy you constantly feed it , is the energy it always reflects .
I’ve been reading a book about magic and incantations and the magician gave the first basic steps of magic .
Nu 1 : Mind control.
You have to believe that bottle can fly to make it fly .
Sweetie , there is no prince charming coming down to rescue you from this perdition.
You have to get your gloomy ass into the light.
You made a mistake just like everyone of us failing mortals have.
Should you punish yourself because of it forever ? Absolutely not !
Get up , dust yourself up and try again .
The potentials in life are endless…you’d be a fool not to explore other doors just because one door closed on you .
He’s moved on .
He’ll eventually find fulfillment and happiness .
Please follow his lead and find yours too.
If you keep walking this down trodden path , you’ll live your whole life in misery and you’ll look back at it and forever regret why you chose to dwell in unhappiness for something you couldn’t obviously change , when you could have created happiness with things you could have changed. ?
Pie
May 12, 13:27How do you know he has moved on, are you in his mind?
trystham
May 12, 15:02I think you, he and Anne need a group therapy session. You guys NEED to talk. They need to know u r deserving of whatever hate they feel towards you, but that shouldn’t stop them from being happy INDIVIDUALLY. This story is depressing abeg
Haiku
May 12, 15:37Tony must be funny and petty in equal measures unless he is sarcastic; to to blame self for all these?????.However much desperate you can be,hell no,people move on
Nathan Bloom
May 15, 15:36So what Zoar is saying now is that every negative thing that happened/happens to prince, Anne and Seyi from the point of the heartbreak is Tony’s fault. Really… Wow! That’s some Justice League Flash point Apokolips war shit. This thinking basically excuses the individual of all responsibility for actions taking in his/her own life. I’m flabbergasted. That’s the problem of the world today, entitlement.
Yes, Tony broke Prince’s heart but every decision prince took after that, is his and his alone.
For anyone who needs to hear this… Take responsibility for your actions, only then will you get rid of the victim mentality. Sheesh
Pink Panther
May 15, 16:39“That’s some Justice League Flash point Apokolips war shit.”
??? The fact that I just watched this animation yesterday somehow makes this comment crack me up the more.