LETTERS TO MY FUTURE HUSBAND (Entry 5)
Dear Future Husband
Last week was quite eventful as I continued to execute some of the contracts I secured at the brunch I attended in Uyo. While we were in Uyo, Eve and Mfon introduced me to someone. He’s into real estate and oil, very dark skinned, lean build, cultured and fun. We chat sometimes on WhatsApp and have video calls at other times. We seem to be exploring our options, but as time is going, we are growing fond of each other. Oh how I wish you could see my face right now. If I were Caucasian, you might notice a pink flush on my face. This is how I get whenever Jackson is on my mind. He’s just divine – like someone who walked out of my dreams into my reality. He’s so perfect for me, as I am for him. He once joked that he is terrified of how perfect it’s been so far getting to know me; that I am the exact kinda guy he’s been looking for.
However, while all that is well and good, the memory of Bernard is still fresh on my mind. I’m trying not to get swept away by my emotions and fall into the thinking that I have found you, Dear Future hubby, in Jackson. Plus he doesn’t even stay in my town. These long distance relationships…I’m not so sure I want to venture into another one so soon after Bernard. Jackson and I are a 45-minute-flight apart, but I am so involved with my work to leave town as frequently as would be required should I start something with him.
Anyway, I am excited for this weekend. We will be meeting to spend some time together, someplace out of both our towns.
Meanwhile, Alhaji has come into town and has notified me.
Ah Alhaji… He and I were together for four years, and even though we’ve since broken up, he never fails to notify me whenever he comes into my town. I returned from Uyo to meet his message: Oga, where are you? I’m in town. Ring me up. I want to see you. No excuses. PS: Bring your babe along with you.
I chuckled at his message. And in that unguarded moment, I did a quick trip down memory lane.
I met Alhaji during my final year in the university. He was forty-two years old then, and sat next to me in a flight to Chicago. I was going on vacation; he had business to take care of, I would later learn. As seat partners, we chatted a bit. And at some point, he mentioned that he wasn’t familiar with the city and would need someone to show him around. I couldn’t tell whether he was joking or coming on to me. But just in case this was a flirtationship, I sized him up then. He looked to be 6ft5, gap toothed, bespectacled, wearing mild masculine cologne, a black round-neck sweater showing off his big arms and wide chest. And because I know my accessories, I recognized that the watch he was wearing was a limited edition of Omega collection. He looked very okay. So I smiled and said, “Sure, why not?”
He introduced himself as Mustapha but said he preferred to be called Alhaji. He told me where he would be staying. And I gave him a land line he could call to reach me. The friend I was coming to stay with, Junior was at the airport to pick me up. He observed Alhaji talking to me and couldn’t wait to gush on how big a catch he was when we were on our way to his place.
Junior was my secondary school classmate who moved to the States after school and now has a career as a runway and underwear model. And he’s often busy. During this trip, I didn’t mind. I had the company of Alhaji to occupy me. We became better friends and eventually lovers. We stayed in touch when I returned to Nigeria, and after I graduated into NYSC, he influenced my posting to his company in Abuja, where I took on an official job in the company’s Public Relations and an unofficial job as his personal secretary. I moved in with him, and because I was good at my job as his PA, no one really questioned my relations with him.
We held it together for four years, until that Sunday when I came home earlier than expected to find him in bed with another man. Cheating is a big deal for me, Future Hubby. You should know that now. And after I witnessed Alhaji’s betrayal of us, there was no going back. We couldn’t get past it no matter how much he – and perhaps me – wanted to. I broke up with him. And we decided to stay friends. A few years have passed since then, and whenever he’s in town, he still rings me up to catch up with me on what’s going on in my life.
And this time, as before, I’m kind of excited to see him again.
How eventful this week has been, Future Hubby. I really hope you get to tell me about yours. Write me soon. Or not. Maybe you’re Jackson and you can just tell me about your week when I see you this weekend.
Anticipating your love
Your Bae,
Awele
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11 Comments
Mandy
May 15, 07:12So cheating is an absolute deal breaker for you… If you had such a good thing going with Alhaji, couldn’t you have considered, I dunno, forgiving his indiscretion and carrying on? Especially if he hasn’t formed the habit of sleeping around on you.
Francis
May 15, 07:29Asin! 4 years down the drain because of one cheatation. If it was a habit, ehen then we are talking. Shit happens sometimes.
ambivalentone
May 15, 09:25He only caught him once. Who’s to say Alhaji is not a serial cheat? Sumbori cannot be working in peace because they wee be wondering who Alhaji is going down with atm.
iAmNotAPerv
May 15, 09:34True, Alhaji might be have been at it since but smarter in his movements
Francis
May 15, 09:48Well we sha never know unless caught in the act.
Francis
May 15, 07:32P.S: This one you guys seemed to be living together, the Alhaji no get wives?
Omiete
May 15, 10:30Oh how I long to be seated close to a hot guy while traveling… The things I would do *smilestoself* Cheating is also a deal breaker and the fact that it happened in their house is so not a mistake or a one time thing it’s an out right disrespect.
PS Awele am beginning to like you more and more. #SellingMarketHere
DI-NAVY
May 16, 05:55Cheating can be a deal breaker for me if it’s a serial thing . Love is respectful . If you wanna cheat be smart about it and it should never be someone I know. Yes we are humane and we slip off once in a while . Cheating is not only when you shag soneone or get shagged. If you fkirt eith another, its still cheating . So you see? Its not easy for we hunans .That makes us imperfect . A serial cheating and kill my feelings for someone because u will never do same to you. But we will always have a cordial relationship.
Tangie Bloom
May 18, 02:28I have never understood why sleeping with someone else was such a big betrayal. Maybe falling in love but sex? Idk.
But then again, I’m starting to think monogamy just might not be my thing. And I’m enjoying the celibacy that being in Nigeria has forced me into anyway.
Chuck
May 18, 04:47#1 Reason People cheat: They know/think they can get away with it.
I’m perturbed by people who believe in LTRs but condone cheating. How can someone be your mate for life but not respect you / value the intimacy that having only one sexual partner creates?
Honestly have to divide Nigerian MSM into 2 baskets – those whose goal is to have sex with men, and those who want romantic, fulfilling parnerships with men. Na real wa o
OMG!!! It's HYPO
June 14, 09:18Why am I feeling this Alhaji Mustapha is the same Alhaji Salihu I know? I’ve stomach-ed this for too long #biko