The Bottom Chronicles (Entry 1)

The Bottom Chronicles (Entry 1)

So the first entry for this new series is an update made in the Facebook group I belong. It goes thus:

This guy said out of obvious vexation, “The lube is too much! Don’t apply lube again. Everywhere is just wet.”

And I looked up at him with the most incredulous look I could come up with. There really is such a thing as TOO MUCH LUBE?

And then the comments…

WASP: The iberiberism of a Top.

DELLE: Azin ehn. People can say the most insane things.

CEO: Yes there is such a thing as ‘too much lube’, especially Durex water-based lube. When it’s too much, there’s hardly any resistance or sensation felt again. You apply in moderation, enough to grant easy insertion.

RAIN: Preach!

CEO: And when it gets like that, with no resistance, it gets boring for me. I never get to cum and I quickly lose interest.

DELLE: I know not to make a fountain of lube. I added some more when the lube was getting dry so as to reduce the friction but he wasn’t having it.

CEO: Some of us like it dry. I love to use saliva…not that lube isn’t available. It simply turns me on.

RAIN: I think what CEO is getting at is that after a while, the ass secretes its own juices. And as such, any extra lube is just, well, extra. I certainly don’t like when there’s no friction when I’m fucking someone. There’s no “grip” and it becomes a chore.

WASP: The amount of lube to be applied is the prerogative of the bottom. Not the top. If it’s not enough to make the bottom be comfortable with the penetration, then by all means, apply some more.

CEO: Two of them have to arrive at a mid-point of agreement, so as to satisfy both parties. It’s not only about the bottom.

WASP: Akuko! Because anal warts and tearing is an agreement between the two of them, abi?

Wiffey: On another hand, the kind of lube being used matters. I never go anywhere near water-based lubricants because it’s more like torture and I won’t enjoy any minute of it. But with jelly-based lubricant, honey, I’ll go all in for any size.

Chris: Odd as it may sound, I have been told by a bottom I was making out with to stop applying any more lube, that he doesn’t like his ass wet when being fucked. And I was like, bros, I love it when it’s supper wet. I can’t come and get dick fracture.

DELLE: But apparently he revels in the pain from friction. Weird.

CEO: There’s pleasure in that kind of pain. It’s called “Oto m, ufu.”



Now back to y’all. Can we have a conversation about the application of lube during sex, and whose prerogative it is, bottom or top.

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  1. Mandy
    May 15, 07:14 Reply

    Because anal warts and tearing is an agreement between the two of them, abi?

    ???? That’s a very good one.

    • Francis
      May 15, 07:41 Reply

      #ThatsAll. A nigga will be cruising round town worry free while you’re killing yourself worrying how to get your ass fixed without shame, judgement etc. ??

  2. Jerry
    May 15, 08:43 Reply

    Bottom! I always bottom, but I do not find it satisfying. Anal sex isn’t very fun to me LOL Sometimes I wonder why all the fuss with anal sex you know…. may be I am meant to be a top, because guy, I ain’t got that g-spot in my anus. I was disvirgin last year with the help of a lube otherwise no one had ever penetrated me without a lube and the more the lube, the less pain I feel

    • Delle
      May 15, 21:10 Reply

      Oga go and answer your TOP-call. There’s no ancient Egyptian scroll where it is written that Jerry must bottom.

      • Jerry
        May 17, 08:29 Reply

        Hahahahaha you are funny Delle. I like to be dominated can’t you see? Most tops can’t stay without anal sex, I mean that is the coco to them LOl

    • Lorde
      May 16, 07:35 Reply

      You obviously haven’t met that man who will make you quiver, n leave you cross-eyes during sex

  3. Black Dynasty
    May 15, 10:55 Reply

    Definitely the guy bottoming, he’s the one feeling pain and should determine just how much lube is enough. If other dude disagrees, too bad….

  4. Khaleesi
    May 15, 13:12 Reply

    LMAO … Oto m, ufu, ona ato m ufu … Non – Igbo speakers, sorry you won’t get this and I sincerely dont know how to translate itappropriately without losing essence, i guess its one of those times you’ll have to jump and pass …
    On to the matter, as the bottom is the one getting dicked and all, he should determine how much lube is needed to keep him comfortable …

  5. Chuck
    May 16, 04:51 Reply

    Why not just specify on your profile, or ask beforehand?

    A: I only use lots of lube – at least half a 50ml bottle

    B: I prefer only saliva

    C: (insert your own practice here)

    People compatible with you eill hit you up. No need for endless “bottoms are from Venus, tops are from Mars” drama

  6. Lorde
    May 16, 07:33 Reply

    That person that likes saliva…… I’m guessing you’re a “strict top”…… your “chi” is judging you…….rubbish ???

      • Lorde
        May 16, 07:42 Reply

        Nnam, it’s disgusting……saliva is not lubricant….its saliva….and it shows lack of empathy for bottoms…..thats why I buy my lube myself… no excuse

    • Delle
      May 16, 07:41 Reply

      The use of saliva isn’t bad especially Iif is it’s skin-to-skin (raw sex). But for casual hookups, it’s just not advisable.
      Don’t completely rule it out.

      Please, what in the name of anal sex is strict top?

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