Hi. Sensei here. I want to tell you something that has been troubling me lately. Shall we begin?

I don’t know about you, but living in this world is not easy. We thank God for friends, but there are people on this planet who it seems were created for one purpose and one purpose only; to make life harder for you than it already is. Sometimes it feels like some human beings wake up in the morning and make a solemn pledge to themselves, to find you and cause you pain. I speak of our enemies. Do you know who your enemy is?

Your Enemy Number One is YOU. But I have not come to tell you about him. Not because it is not important, but because recent events have made me realise how urgently we need to understand the mental operation and behavioural disposition of Enemy Number Two. I have always expected or hoped that you know and understand him, but these days, I really wonder if you do.

Where do I begin? Why on earth has this one person decided to be your enemy? Well, it is simple. Concerning some matter, he believes he is right and you are wrong and that you deserve the worst kind of hell for being wrong. Did I say believe? Scratch that. He KNOWS. He knows he is right about this issue at hand and he knows that there is just no way he can be wrong about it. You pause, intrigued by his certainty, especially since you can see the error of his ways. You ask him if he is omniscient and he says no. You ask if he is incapable of error, he says no. Now you really become perplexed.

You ask again why he is willing to draw blood because of his convictions and he assures you that he is right and goes on to give you reason after reason to prove his stand. Apparently, he has absolute trust in his instrument of mentation (I mean his brain). Not that it has never failed him, not that he cannot remember circumstances in the past when he took a rash decision based on a conviction, only to regret later when he realised the error of his ways.

You see, his perspective is not whole because a vital piece of information is missing from his world view. Specifically it is not whole because in his certainty, he fails to acknowledge how error prone our human nature is. Even if his truth were God’s own words, it is always transmitted by imperfect human beings. Consumed by his feeling of rightness, he explodes in a conflagration of righteous anger. Oh, this does not mean he is not allowed to feel certain about anything. It is just that history has provided ample evidence, showing us how dangerous men who hold on to absolutes can be. Think about the racists and the Hitlers of this world.

Human beings who are real and factual have an understanding which they hold perpetually at the back of their minds. They know that even that perspective which they hold so tightly and justify so confidently could be wrong. Such is the grace, the depth of insight that characterises people who have a panoramic world view. It is the ability to zoom into an issue and not forget the lesson you learnt when you zoomed out and viewed the planet from outer space. So you see, since his perspective is whole, it tends to be wholesome. He understand that’s since his idea still has a possibility of error no matter how tiny, he remains flexible and decides no conviction is worth killing for.

But it is not so with your enemy.

The fact that your enemy has concluded that he is right and you are wrong is not the problem per se. Because at least inside our own heads, we all have a right to believe whatever sense or nonsense we choose to. His problem is that he is convinced he is infallible. His problem is that he believes only in his own experience of the world. His problem is that as far as perspectives are concerned, he is a tyrant who believes too much in the accuracy of his own thoughts, to the extent that he never truly listens to another opinion, to the extent that he never truly opens his heart to hear another version of the story. His thought is his god and he believes that the world should bow down and worship it, even as fervently as he does.

To him, you are nothing if you do not live as he thinks you should live. He sits on the throne every day and passes down judgement upon you, not realising that there are seven billion ways to look at a thing because there are seven billion pairs of eyes in this world. There are also seven billion ways to experience a thing. He forgets that his own story is just a negligible fraction of the seven billion that exist. The wise would set out to ask questions from as many as he can, understanding that he is wisest who can see a thing from many perspectives. This is not the approach of your enemy, who is narrow-minded, close-minded, and sometimes no-minded. Remember the story of the blind men who could only touch one part of the elephant? Oh we should add that neither does the conviction of seven billion people turn a lie into the truth. The wise know this. It failed to make the world flat, didn’t it?

There is still more to say about this enemy. Okay, let’s pretend for a minute that he is indeed right and you are wrong, as he believes.  This would mean he has a superior knowledge, superior insight. It would mean he is a superior being. This should make him feel so complete in himself that he would not be bothered by what others so. Should he not be skipping happily around, always whistling a happy tune, enraptured by a sense of his own wholeness and perfection of knowledge? He should not lose his cool when others live and behave stupidly. After all, is it his stupid? Not so, your enemy. He has an urge, a strong need that everyone else must be and live as he wants them to be. He therefore is unable to allow other people be stupid in peace. Neither is he imaginative enough to ask himself the question, “What if I’m the stupid one?” Even when your own stupidity does not affect him and should not bother him, he promises to be bothered.

There is yet another quality that he lacks. The wise understand that in this world, there will never be a time when everyone will agree on everything. Just because there are seven billion eyes and seven billion perspectives, merging all of this into one is an impossible task. We do not have to wait for the day when we all will share a brain to live in peace. Disagreement and discord are not Siamese twins. It is possible to disagree with a person and live peacefully with them. It is possible to downplay what you disagree upon, just so that you can work together on what is generally agreeable. You see, it’s really a matter of priority. What’s more important to you? Peace? Or the need to have everyone think as you do? Your enemy has obviously made a choice. Fuck peace!

Great insight is required to come to the understanding that just as you are entitled to your own opinion, entitled to live life on your own terms, every human being has this entitlement. This enemy has not come to the realization of a fundamental human right; the right to live your own life as you have chosen it, as long as you don’t bring harm to others. We also have the right to make mistakes and learn from them (that is if one is really making a mistake). Not understanding that learning is a fundamental part of what it means to be human and that learning happens daily, he does not respect your life process. He refuses to allow you make your mistakes and learn in your own good time. This, by the way, is a privilege he reserves for himself. He will not stand by and allow you unravel piece by piece, this incredible gift of yours called life. The truth is that he has zero respect for your uniqueness and your life experience. Because you being true to yourself does not align with what he believes, he rejects you. He never really thinks about you, only ever thinks about himself and his opinion.

But your enemy may claim he really is out to help you. He may argue that he really cares about your well-being and that is why he insists you must do what he thinks is right. But we know the truth. He does not care about you because if he did, he would really listen with an open heart to hear your perspective. If he did, he would weigh his words carefully, because in his bid to communicate, he would care enough to ensure he does not leave you hurt in the process. The very method of communication he employs goes to show that he truly does not care about you or your feelings. And he wonders why we shut down when he speaks?

We all know those persons whom we run to when we need to be heard and understood. We look for those who really listen with an open heart (we can always tell, you know). We look for someone who will understand us and love us as we are. Who will correct us if need be with a kind tone, and love us nonetheless even if we reject the advice given. This enemy of ours is not like this. He does not know the most basic rule of effective communication; beyond what you have to say, how you say it is equally important. So his tone is harsh, his words are tipped with venom and shot out carelessly; his love is conditional. Love without condition exists; therefore what he offers is inferior. We are all aware of the flaw in his being and the limitation of his philosophy.

Oh sometimes he appears to be humane and kind. He is not necessarily the devil incarnate. But the truth is that beneath his cloak, there is always a dagger. He will love you, only as long as you are what he wants you to be and only as long as you live by his principles. Sometimes, he calls himself your friend but we all know he isn’t. Because a true friend will love you no matter what, will love you first and love you completely before and after disagreeing with you. Your friend is someone who is able to see your flaws, see beyond them and love you all the same. Being incapable of this, he is not your friend. It’s just a matter of time before he shows to you what he really is – an enemy.

I have taken time to write about the nature of your enemy, not to make you hate him, for by doing so, you would have allowed him to transmit his philosophy of hate to you. I tell you about him so that you would really understand his nature and then transcend it. Since he does all this in ignorance while genuinely, maybe innocently, believing he is right, the strongest among us may transcend him so much that they pity and even forgive him.

But dear friends, do not be like the enemy, because he epitomizes and enthrones a destructive principle that lies at the heart of every man-made evil that ever existed in this world – Selfishness.

The enemy I speak of is the homophobe of the very worst kind. But it’s tragic that sometimes I cannot tell the difference between you and him.

Written by Sensei

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  1. Masked Man
    June 11, 07:43 Reply

    Very interesting piece. Very insightful too.

    But I know who has all the whole subtle shade in every line. ☕☕☕

  2. sage
    June 11, 07:51 Reply

    what of the enemy that CHANGES AT ALL TIMES?
    what of the enemy that DREW A FALSE MENTAL PICTURE OF WHAT HE IS NOT?

    • Mandy
      June 11, 08:04 Reply

      Ah yes, here comes the first of the detractors, determined to derail the intent of the post.

  3. Mara
    June 11, 07:57 Reply

    “But its tragic that sometimes I cannot tell the difference between you and him” True Words! Hopefully, we’ll come to understand that homophobia is indeed the true enemy, and it has got disciples lurching even in the LGBT community!

  4. Mandy
    June 11, 08:15 Reply

    ‘He sits on the throne every day and passes down judgement upon you, not realising that there are seven billion ways to look at a thing because there are seven billion pairs of eyes in this world. There are also seven billion ways to experience a thing. He forgets that his own story is just a negligible fraction of the seven billion that exist. ‘

    That’s the major flaw of most humans. We tend to project our personal experience as fact unto the larger society, as the prism through which everybody else must see the world. We are such a double-faced lot, encouraging individualism and yet denying people the chance to live uniquely. The society tells you to be true to yourself and then adds ‘only in the way we approve of’. The homophobe says ‘I’m not judging’ then proceeds to act very judgmental. The LGBT individual cries for tolerance from the big bad world and turns around to be the big bad wolf to his fellow community members.

    It stinks, this hypocrisy of mankind. It stinks to the high heavens. And the funny thing is, most people even right here won’t get it. They’d see the writer, read the message, feel slighted, and instead of contemplating what is being said, they’d get defensive and lash back, effectively shutting down the possibility of growth.

    • ambivalentone
      June 11, 10:48 Reply

      Hypocrisy u call it??? Projecting personal experiences on people as fact??? I find the concept or ur argument a double-edged sword. And so my question is ‘Where do u tow the line between ‘SELF preservation’, SELFISHNESS’, ‘CONFORMITY’ and a myriad of other concepts? The concepts of fairness, truth, equality may not be preached by the outside world, yet we conform, lying to ourselves, sucking them in the vortex of lies and say “What they don’t know don’t kill them”.
      The bible gave the best rejoinder for all dealings with fellow man – “Do unto others as u wud want done to you” but we have added clauses as we see fit.

  5. #Chestnut
    June 11, 09:01 Reply

    this entire post just reminded me of one guy like that…

  6. dabo
    June 11, 09:13 Reply

    after all the anti-homophobic preaching, you will go and marry a homophobic woman who won’t know you like men… and the circle continues.

      • Mandy
        June 11, 09:42 Reply

        Oh look, dabo’s message is endorsed by Max, sorry, Truth. 🙂

    • Pink Panther
      June 11, 09:38 Reply

      Do you know anything about him and the nature of his marriage? Frankly after your yesterday’s opinion on Indian men, I’m not surprised by this barely-informed comment.

  7. Truth
    June 11, 09:44 Reply

    An entire post just to throw cheap shade on some people, petty much?
    Especially coming from someone who think he’s smart, it’s quite pathetic.

    What you want is for the entire gay community to sing cumbaya with you while you’re walking down the aisle and shake your hands and thank you for being such a light upon us and a good mentor. Well done ??

    • Pink Panther
      June 11, 09:52 Reply

      If you’re really Truth and not Max flying under the radar, you’d not take offense at the post. You’d see that the post is a directed message at homophobia and how the gay community is dangerously becoming as toxic as the homophobic public.
      But Truth would understand that.
      Max wouldn’t. Max would take it personal because Max would see how well the shoes fit.

      • Truth
        June 11, 10:04 Reply

        I havent been visiting this blog for long, but I have come to know what to expect from most people. And the very fact that all of you cannot accept that someone else may have similar opinion as Max, shows how little minded most of you are. Not all of us wants to marry a woman, some of us are disgusted by it and for another person to champion it here and make it look like its ok is not acceptable.

        • Pink Panther
          June 11, 10:22 Reply

          LMAO. I am the Admin, Truth/Max. Who do you think you’re fooling?

          • ambivalentone
            June 11, 22:34 Reply

            Ok seriously, if in a spat online u can say this, is KD really anonymous? Lets kukuma av a space for profile pictures while we are at it. Geez!!!

        • Pink Panther
          June 11, 10:23 Reply

          And it’s funny how in an article that at no point mentioned marriage, you jumped to the conclusions that Max himself is famous for. 🙂

          • Truth
            June 11, 12:25 Reply

            Everyone knows Sensei is an MGM
            Everyone knows DM is a think lover
            Everyone knows max is a bitch
            Everyone knows your True Identity here.
            Everything I wrote up there is public knowledge.

    • Mandy
      June 11, 09:56 Reply

      It’s not cheap shade, Max.
      It’s the bitter truth.
      But of course you wouldn’t want to accept that, considering how your personality stinks of the enemy outlined in the post.
      Be like Wayfaring Stranger, Max. Allow yourself to know your errors.

      • Delle
        June 11, 11:52 Reply

        Isn’t it just hilarious how you think, rather know, Wayfaring Stranger acknowledges his errors? Pffts.

  8. sasha
    June 11, 10:10 Reply

    hmmm. A bisexual mgm judging gay men who dont approve of his destructive choices, all painted in such a hue to disguise the true intent of his rant.
    I have heard alot of stories outside kd. With the kind of thing that goes on here, I might not be staying long.

    • Mandy
      June 11, 10:21 Reply

      Bye Felicia.
      With your understanding of the post, I’m sure we can do fine without you here.

  9. Dubem
    June 11, 10:31 Reply

    This is really simple. Live and let live. Shikina! All these barbs about the sexuality and marital status of the writer is nitpicking. Petty nitpicking. How are we so taken with ourselves that we don’t see this? He’s not judging. He’s simply telling you to live your life and let others live theirs. Ha. I’m tayad.

  10. Delle
    June 11, 11:47 Reply

    Maybe, just maybe you shouldn’t pay any attention to this enemy. Do not make them feel like they matter or their opinions count. The only time their scorn gets to you is when you make them feel indispensable and vital to your existence.
    The enemy is only a figment of imagination. Do things to please you cos you would never, and I reiterate, never please all. There would always be those with insatiable thirst for your pain and frustration. Learn to walk on the mantra “water off the duck’s back”.

    It’s obvious you’re all for peace, tranquillity and harmonious co-operation but hunnay, snap out of it. In the real world, aint such thing as that. The enemy, they say, may have come to stay but it’s left for you to make him feel welcomed or not.
    Thanks Sensei for this. I need no sorcery to know this was penned down due to the incessant cat-fights here. Oh well…

  11. Richard Moore
    June 11, 13:36 Reply

    Shade or no shade
    MGM or no MGM
    That’s everyone’s glass of lemonade

    I got what I needed from that post and I loved it and I’d be posting a piece of it on fb

    The only problem I have with MGMs though is that 99.99% of them only get married to cover up their homosexual attractions (i.e. the very WRONG reason)

    • Mr. Fingers
      June 11, 14:06 Reply

      Well, wonder how u got that stat.

      But seriously why would what they do be anyone’s problem?

      The same way we argue that what we do as gay people shouldn’t bother anyone, why would the reason for someone getting married or even the need to get married to a female be eliciting so much bile and hatred from anyone?

      I can understand when u disagree with their reasons for doing what they are doing, but getting so angry and complaining every day abt their choices is what I don’t get. How e take affect u?

    • Colossus
      June 11, 15:07 Reply

      99.99%? Blood of Zachary, that’s like every single MGM excluding one. That’s a scary statistic, you for give 70% nah, that’s still an A.

  12. Andy nke blueheart
    June 11, 16:23 Reply

    Kitodiaries a.k.a the home for throwing shade when it’s raining, over looking some mis-yarn because you want friendship, plenty contradicting personalities, amazing stories like 890, health posts, happenings & co., grammar lectueres and some really nice persons (I think) .. Kitodiaries, your onestop market place where everything happens, where the amebo is conc. and the shaders are more than the light shedders (doubt this term is correct, but I’m sure you understand). I hail all of you… Kontinue!!.

    Yesterday’s comment on “that” post was hot hot hot as I imagined some people tearing their wigs off, forcing their opinions down some throat and some calling people out cos they think they know them in real life. Pinky pinky, I hail thee oh admin, you dey try no be small.. More grease to your elbow or wherever it is you want some grease on. Good work pinky. KD is lit!

    Based on this post, everyone has an opinion,…. you know the rest.

    My fingers were scratching me so I needed to write, so just read and waka pass and if you can’t, don’t hesitate to leave a reply. I will accept your opinion of what I wrote and do whatever it is I want with it.

    Ngwa bye, till when next my hand scratches me again and my head needs to offload the “rubbish” in it.

  13. Chizzie
    June 11, 18:54 Reply

    I’m not a really a fan of Sensei’s posts tbh. There’s always this forced faux intelligence about them.

    I mean, be real girl, be real.

  14. bruno
    June 11, 19:39 Reply

    is this really about homophobia or subtly beseeching us to not judge you for your choices?

    you are a grown man you don’t need every gay person’s approval of your choices do whatever you think is best and be a man about it. jeez.

  15. Brian Collins
    June 12, 22:57 Reply

    Donald Trump is every man’s enemy. Has anyone read what he had to say about the Orlando shootings?

  16. Brian Collins
    June 13, 09:18 Reply

    And to think that the post came around the time of the Orlando Shootings.
    I just feel really awful. All those people.

  17. Babe
    March 14, 07:00 Reply

    I thought he was talking about God lmao

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