MOVIE REVIEW: My Underwhelming Experience With ‘Fantastic Four’
FOREWORD: So finally, KD’s very own movie buff, Deola, has caved under pressure to write for KD what he knows how to do best – give a scintillating opinion of movies. He starts with Fantastic Four, the worldwide cinematic mess that has been raging for days since it was released. Don’t worry, he didn’t give out any spoilers, for those who haven’t seen the movie. And he has promised that his reviews will be as spoiler-free as he can manage.
Check on it below.
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When you go to the cinema to watch a movie, it’s quite easy for the average movie-goer to forget that a movie is like a machine, with so many moving parts, each doing duties no matter how small, in order to achieve the goal, which is to make a good movie.
The mark of a good movie, I believe, is to sell me on an idea. Sell it so brilliantly that I am transported into the reality of the movie so much so that I forget that it isn’t real. And to do that, all moving parts of the big machine that is the movie have to work – the director, the screenwriters, the composer of the film’s score, the hairstylist and makeup artist, the graphic designers, down to the editors in the cutting room.
It’s a very rare thing for all these parts to pull together perfectly to create something so magical that it transcends just cinema and becomes art. Such movies are those that stand the age of time. It’s also a very rare thing for almost every single part of this machine that is the movie to completely fail, something that I hadn’t seen, that is, until I saw Fantastic Four.
In an age where reboots, and re-imaginations and re-this and re-that are the craze, in an age where Comic Book Movies (CBMs) are the toast of the box office and the general movie-going audience, it would have been quite difficult for anyone to predict the level of failure that would be this movie. But fail it did.
When the film opens, we hear a young lad talking about what he wants to be when he grows up, and from that moment, Fantastic Four piques my interest and seems to be laying the groundwork for what looks set to be an interesting origin story. Alas, that was where the movie’s promise set sail and then drowned.
The main cast of Miles Teller, Kate Mara (from House Of Cards, whose changing hair in the film was…well, its own mini mess within the bigger mess that is the movie), Michael B Jordan, Jaime Bell and Toby Kebbell are all young and promising actors, who were all let down by the writers and everyone behind the camera (I’m looking at you Josh Trank. I’m seriously looking at you!). These actors gave it their best shot, but their efforts proved futile.
Like Ant-man that came out before it, there was a lot of behind-the-scenes drama with Fantastic Four. Like Ant-man before it, the casting for F4 raised more than a few eyebrows. Like Ant-man before it, some of the scenes had to be rewritten and re-shot.
So how is it that Ant-man, which was a far harder sell (I mean, c’mon! The dude talks to ants) still managed to pull through and become one of the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s (MCU) most critically acclaimed entries and has gone on to gross almost $350million worldwide, and Fantastic Four became one of the worst CBMs ever made?
It all boils down to the studios.
Marvel Studios pushed Ant-man. They had faith in the project and as such promoted the heck out of it, probably more than any of their other movies till date, knowing what a hard sell it was. Fox Studios, it would seem on the other hand, knew the dud they had created and barely promoted the movie. Both movies had to be reshot and rewritten, but while Ant-man’s makeover, while still noticeable, barely affected the movie, Fantastic Four’s completely dictated the movie; from the moment when the first hair change of Kate Mara (whose changing hairstyle was a betraying factor of which scenes had been reshot) was noticed, the entire thing fell apart.
From then on, everything seemed rushed, chopped, patched, and sewn up just so as to meet the release dates. The CGI effort was the sloppiest thing I have seen in years. For a movie which cost over a 100million to make and in the year 2015, it says a lot about how poor this was that the CGI from the Fantastic Four films released a decade ago have far better CGI than this one. This mess is best seen when the Human Torch is first shown taking flight, what results is something best described as Mortal Kombat-on-GameBoy level graphics. So bad that for a moment, I thought someone had edited that over the movie.
A lot of time was spent setting up the event that gave the team their abilities, so much so that by the time they did finally get them, I just couldn’t care anymore. I just wanted to see the climax of the movie, and even when that came, it was out of nowhere, weirdly edited and completely ridiculous.
In the end, Fantastic Four was a movie with so much potential with none of it reached. Every single part of the machine that should have made this movie work failed, right from the director, Josh Trank down to whoever it was that was responsible for Kate Mara’s hair (Seriously, you have to see it to believe it). Studio interference, behind-the-scenes drama and a lack of faith in the project – and the result is a weirdly-paced, uneven, heated mess that isn’t worth the watch.
Best Performer was Reg E. Cathey as Dr. Franklin Storm. He played the part and looked the part. He delivered his lines with vigour that the words themselves didn’t deserve.
Worst Performer was Kate Mara as Sue Storm. And this was through no fault of hers. That hair, oh that hair…
Movie Rating – 2/10. Congratulations Fox, you retained the movie rights…for a $120million.
Written by Deola
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23 Comments
Silver Cat
August 24, 06:57Thank goodness I haven’t been to the cinema to see this movie. I might just download to see that mini-drama series on Kate’s hair.
Pinky pls link me up with Deola, I like the way his mind works.
Dennis Macaulay
August 24, 07:03I probably won’t see the movie anyways! Meanwhile this dstv box office that rents movies, shey it’s for only people with PVR?
#AskingAnybodyWhoKnows
Ven
August 24, 16:20Not pvr, it has to be the explora decoder
Mitch
August 24, 07:07Jisox! And I was planning to go see that movie this weekend. Thanks for saving me the torture of watching that and suffering the pains of a massive IQ reduction.
But wait oh! Deola, you’ve seriously gat no chill. “This mess is best seen when the Human Torch is first shown taking flight, what results is something best described as Mortal Kombat-
on-GameBoy level graphics. So bad that for a moment, I thought someone had edited that over the movie.” That was a death dealing blow, man. Evul!
JArch
August 24, 08:06Hahahahaha Deola… How does it feel
I can confidently state I was one of those who pressured Deola into writing movie reviews and now he has caved in 😀
Oya lemme go and read the review
Deola
August 24, 10:27lol. For your mind abi?
JArch
August 24, 12:43But of course…. Abi have you forgotten how we spent almost an hour and half putting the nitty gritty together for like the next 5yrs and taking notes from Rotten tomatoes and Rolling Stones..
Now you’ve found your calling by taking the plunge…. I deserve some credit mbok
handle
August 24, 08:43I like this, especially this part “until I saw fantastic four”. Of all four iteration of Fantastic four, this version seems to be the worst. Let’s put aside the fact that Fantastic four as characters are virtually unadaptable. I mean it’s a perfectly unbelievable dysfunctional family of four, an invisible woman, a guy that could stretch atoms of his body(come on), a rock like monster and the flame on guy!!!! But Guardian of the Galaxy made it work, so no excuse.
From the cheesy 2005 version(still the most successful marvel movie, adjusted for inflation) to this, none had been able to resonate with who the characters are in comic books. I believe fox should just rescind the rights and hand it back to Marvel studios, third time fail is a no no.
I really want to spoil the movie for you guys but that won’t be fair. Na Monday morning.
P.S skip the first 80 mins of dull, claustrophobic getting to know the characters part, to the action part which was so stiff I couldn’t hide how pissed off I was for wasting 1.5k.
Pink Panther
August 24, 08:45Another underwhelmed movie-goer, I see.
handle
August 24, 09:03Lol. Was actually overwhelmed at how a movie could be so bad, sour and stupid at the same time. There is so much source materials from the pages, which a better plot could ve been made from. But no, Trank was going for Dark and moody re invention of the four and fox wanted, well a comic book relatable film but it ended up serving different masters.
Fantastic four are marvel’s superman. They stood for something greater, a moral compass of optimism and hope the whole universe looks up too. They re a space explorer family of the weird and unknown first, superhero second, celebrity third. That created some sort of family dynamics of helping each other deal with the mental and emotional changes their physical being re going through and the relationship they all maintain.
#Chestnut
August 24, 09:24Muahaha! Deola, u were made for this! U took no prisoners,lol. But wait oh, what did y’all really expect, when u have that Michael B. Jordan in it? I’m sorry to those who love him, but that dude is just about exciting as cardboard box; I get no life from him …At all! Anyone that wants to cast him in a super-hero movie,must not be very good at movie-making and that should tell u d kind of result to expect from them. #OkBye
Pink Panther
August 24, 10:30So you’re implying that his cardboard box excitement contributed to making the movie a dud? *stirring gently*
Deola
August 24, 10:47Uh uh Chestnut, dont go after le boo like dah…
Micheal B Jordan aside from being hot as hell, is a wonderful young actor, he was great as a teenage drug dealer on The Wire, He was dope in Chronicles ( the role which got him this part in FF4, and he played a character similar in personality to the one he plays in FF4 ) and he was incredible in FruitVale station ( his best performance till date, award worthy stuff)
He has a new movie called Creed (a spin off of sylvester stalone’s rocky series ) coming out late this year i think, and hopefully he completely slays in that and shifts the focus from this mess to that.
This movie had a lot of major problems but he and the cast werent one of em. With better material, he would have made a great human torch.
Micheal B is a lot of things but unexciting aint one of em.
PS. If you havent seen Fruitvale Station, go do that, i bet it changes the way you see him.
Eros
August 24, 09:43I nearly wept after the closing credits. I just couldnt believe I wasted money on that load of crap.
The only good thing that happened in that cinema is that I got to play hanky panky with this boy I went with. I cant come and go and die biko
Pink Panther
August 24, 10:31Hahahahahahahahahahaa!!! From every disappointment, there’s a blessing, i suppose.
#Chestnut
August 24, 10:46“U can’t come and go and die…” and hanky-panky is what saved ur life abi? Well done!lol
Colossus
August 24, 10:25Very good review for a very terrible movie.
Pink Panther
August 24, 10:37Hehehehehee!!! Colossus, so you’re saying this review didn’t do a proper evisceration of the movie?
Diablo
August 24, 10:54Never seen any of the Fantastic Four movies because their super power abilities don’t appeal to me. I mean, really, Elastic man? You should do a review on Inside Out. Its by far one of the best animations I’ve ever seen and the plot is ingenious.
Deola
August 24, 11:09Yeah. I have written a lil something something about it…
We’ll see.
Colossus
August 24, 21:28Superhero movies don’t appeal to you but animated movies do?
JustJames
August 24, 14:22I’d like to see a movie review of pixels.. I saw a few online and steered clear of its deceptively inviting advertisement board in the cinema.
Oluwadamilare Okoro
August 24, 20:23Ah deola ….
If he says it’s good … It must be damned good!
And if he says it’s bad … Don’t bother watching people.