My Friend Is On A Mission To Save My Soul

My Friend Is On A Mission To Save My Soul

I have a close female friend, married, very Christian, who asked me point blank about three months ago if I’m gay. This came in the wake of the outspoken, LGBT-friendly posts she’d spied on my social media timelines.

I told her point blank that I am.

And after a few stabs at us having ‘that conversation’, you know, the one where she tries to make me see the error of my ways, the eternal damnation I’m headed for, we finally stopped talking when all we did was argue.

Then a few days ago, about two months after our last ‘gay’ talk, she sent this to me via BBM:

‘Hi PP, good afternoon, how are you? You’ve been on my mind much more recently and I’m still praying and trusting God that you’ll come to that place where you can give your life completely to the Lord and see what He will make of it. I know that you don’t want to have this conversation, but it must be said. Homosexuality is a sin before God and you really need to turn away from it and repent of it, but more so, I desire that you’ll come to fully know Christ, because then everything will make perfect sense. Frankly, there is no true life outside of Christ, there is no real purpose or quality when we do not live in obedience to Him. There is so much joy, peace and purpose when we hand over the reins of our life to Him. I know, because I have done that and life takes on greater meaning and purpose. As always, I’m grateful for the opportunity I have to tell you about Jesus, and that you are kind enough to listen. Please take it to heart PP, please…’

*sigh* She is a well-meaning friend, someone whose friendship I actually cherish. It’s a testament to the strength of our friendship that I am still enduring all this from her. I’m in the habit of cutting off acquaintances where the people concerned won’t live their lives and let me live mine. But she’s just so determined to save my soul. Whatever am I to do?

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  1. ken
    December 06, 06:59 Reply

    Loooool.
    She must be very close for you not to have cut her off by now. But if I were in your shoes, this is what I will reply:

    My dear x, I am thankful for keeping me in mind and I know that your message is coming from a place of love and ignorance and religious bigotry…but mostly love. pls note that I am just as christian as u are and my sexuality does not make me less holier than you. However, I think there is really no value in engaging in pointless arguments. But for clarity and bcos I truly value out friendship I will say this for the last time:
    1. Sexuality is not a choice or a social group or a cult for which u can just hop in and out as u please
    2. Christianity is great. But pls my dear lets leave the judgment of who is holiest to God
    3. There are more gay people around you than u will ever know. And its because of ignorant and sometimes hateful comments like yours that make them hide in the closet, forcing them to marry women just to pretend to be “normal”.
    4. All the laws, hate and bigotry can not turn a person from gay to straight. Its how we were born. Its not a choice (pls refer to 1)
    5. Homosexuality is not just abt sex. Just as heterosexuality is also not only abt sex. There are so many facets to human relationships
    Finally, if you are still not convinced that being gay is NOT a ticket to hell, I would appreciate it if u never bring this up again, for d sake of our friendship. I guess this will just be an aspect where we agree to disagree. I am (insert age here) yrs old. And for as far as I can remember, I have been gay. It is not a choice or a mental illness or a disease. I am happy being who I am and have learned love and tolerance and hurt, just as much as any “hetero” person has. Pls know that u mean a lot to me thats y I have taken d time to explain.
    Love, PP

    • Colossus
      December 06, 07:43 Reply

      This reply is a case of When you wake up really early and try your best not to wank.

    • Cho
      December 06, 23:05 Reply

      Forgive my ignorance but has it been justified that sexuality isn’t a choice? All I’ve seen so far has not been conclusive. According to the bible it was lumped up with idolatry, fornication etc

  2. Sheldon Cooper
    December 06, 07:57 Reply

    Nice one Ken. PP don’t fight her or argue with her rather try to enlighten her. She’s obviously ignorant about this. Be tolerant with her. Don’t give up easily. If you were brave enough to come out to her, see it through…
    My fifty kobo.

  3. Delle
    December 06, 10:10 Reply

    I really don’t think you should cut her off seeing as she wasn’t judgemental in all she said. It’s really not a shocker anymore that the overly religious ones would see homosexuality as vermin before themselves and before God. Yesterday, someone posted something about being taken to a church for a deliverance session, how did that turn out? It’s a norm for them to always see homosexuality as a spiritual thing or a physical anomaly but I haven’t heard or seen anyone come out to say he/she was ‘cured’ of homosexuality, be it via spiritual, physical or psychological means.
    For you both to quarrel and not talk for a few days, the quarrel must really have been heated. For her to still send you such message after the apparently heated argument you previously had, means she has you in mind…not just as a friend, but as a gay close friend she feels needs her help…oh and she’s going to stop at nothing to make sure you get that help. So PP, indulge her. Don’t shut her out, let her satisfy her curiosity. She wants to help? Let her help. Go for any church programme she invites you to, any deliverance session she takes you to (pls don’t pull a deliverance acrobatic o). Let her see you as someone who is actually willing to please her and make her understand you’re doing all that to please her.
    After a few weeks of doing all that, call her and tell her of your most recent crush…Channing Tatum!
    She’d get the memo.

  4. Illuminatus
    December 06, 11:41 Reply

    I’ve had practise with this kinda attitude. Just wait it out. You don’t need to agree with her or argue, just overlook the issue, and she’ll come to do so too… Hopefully.

  5. Chizzie
    December 06, 12:23 Reply

    I wish Christians weren’t too rigid with their approach, it always comes across as dismissive and holier than thou. If you want to catch a rabbit you have to think like one.

    The one person that was finally able to get me to go to church after years did so cause she was able to convince me without quoting scripture and all that Jesus stuff. She said, “but you don’t have anything doing on Sundays, the church is a walking distance and there’s free jollof rice”

    If you want to get ppl to forego something for another, you have to show them and convince them that what you have to offer them is so much more than what they have, not all these homosexuality is a sin crap that they are so quick to quote.

    • ambivalentone
      December 06, 18:52 Reply

      Loool @ free jollof rice. The earlier these bloody Pharisees (sorry, churches) remember that Jesus didn’t keep taking from the ppl but fed them, and also stop being stuck up with their judgemental,noses in the air, the better for everyone.

  6. Tobby
    December 06, 13:17 Reply

    Just tell her thank you, you will consider it. Shikena.

    That’s what she wants to hear

  7. Dickson Clement
    December 06, 13:45 Reply

    Simple, tell her you have repented and you will like to marry her or any of her sisters!! See how she reacts!!!

  8. Frank stein
    December 06, 19:23 Reply

    I dont agree to d fact dat ppl are born homosexual, I could be more tolerant to a line of thought that says we are born bisexual nd choose our path

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