Never A Happy Ending
Moving on is not about not loving someone anymore and forgetting about them. It’s about having the strength to say, ‘I love you, but you’re not worth this pain.’
The great part of this break-up is that, quite unlike other break-ups where I would wail and tear my hair over it, I was much happier this time. Happy, not because it wasn’t a great love story (of course it was, with amazing sex), but because this time, I saw the end from the beginning.
It all began on Twitter; there was this tweep whose twitter profile I’d been stalking for close to a year. Eventually, we added each other on BBM, exchanged pictures, and did the necessary introductions. He wasn’t so good looking, but he had a good sense of humor (at least he picked a struggle, lol). We eventually got to see in person, and the fact that we had a lot in common fueled my interest. We ended the day with his surprise kiss, an amazing kiss which blew me away.
We kept on with our acquaintanceship, keeping up with each other’s daily activities, stealing time out of our busy schedules to see a movie, or be together. And the sex – when we got around to that, it was great. Again and again, he proved to be a great kisser (Have to give him that credit).
Months passed on, and we were both still cool with each other. I began to feel that this was too good to be true. Our…well, relationship (for lack of a better word) hadn’t been defined. I wasn’t sure we were dating, and at the same time, I wasn’t sure we weren’t. I had to know. So, during one of our dates, I asked him, “Where are we heading with this? Are we in a relationship? Or are we just friends having sex?”
He evaded the question with a sarcastic quip, saying that I was asking because I wanted to look for someone else better than him. That was a lame response, but I let it go.
More time passed, and both school work and schedules got more hectic for me. My contact with him became unstable (he was always changing phones, like every fortnight). Our communication became strained, and soon, weeks would go by without any exchange of pleasantries. He never called. I got worried, called his lines, sent him text messages, messaged him on Facebook – and got no response.
Two months slid past, and there was not a word from him.
Then one day, I logged on to Twitter, and saw that he’d tweeted some statuses minutes ago. I was suddenly inexplicably petrified. I checked his Timeline to discover that he’d been steadily tweeting for the two months I’d been trying to contact him. I hadn’t known this because I wasn’t regular on twitter due to how busy I was.
And the hurtful part of it was that most of his tweets talked about the new ‘boo’ he met.
Well, I thought it was some sort of joke, until the last tweet said: “Sleeping tonight wt the boo.”
Then it dawned on me – yes, just then, and not a moment earlier – that there was someone else. He’d turned the page on our chapter.
The next day, I sent him a message, asking him what went wrong with us. And his reply (finally!) was, “Yeah well, I’ve always wanted an open relationship with you. So now, I’m seeing someone else.”
Strangely, I didn’t feel bad after he gave what was yet again a lame response (and I used to think he was so witty), because I remembered when I asked him the ‘What are we?’ question. That day, when his answer wasn’t satisfactory enough, I expected the worst from that moment.
To add salt to wound, he continued with ‘I like you as a friend…’ (Just like that, I was frogmarched into the nearby friend-zone that I’d been running away from)
Well, the love story has ended. For me anyway, because he suddenly seems very interested in us seeing to ‘sort things out.’ But then, that’ll happen when hell freezes over, or pigs will fly. And that’s not my hurt speaking; I’m just simply done with all that jazz. I don’t feel bad that this happened. (Perhaps, if things had played out differently, I wouldn’t have minded being in an open relationship with him) I however feel bad because it took him a year and six months to know this was what he wanted for us.
Or perhaps, he’d always known, but hadn’t the presence of mind to tell me.
I’m never afraid of commitment. I’m just afraid of wasted time.
Do happy endings exist? If you ask me, I’d say ‘No’ (Big surprise, huh? Lol) I may have once been a romantic, but you go through enough bullshit and you begin to realize that relationships are not fairytales and snowflakes (even a gay Disney won’t sell me on that). All good things – great romance, great sex, great bonding – eventually come to an end. It’s always just a matter of time.
Written by Earl
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26 Comments
maxonex
August 26, 04:18Totally relatable…lmao @ “gay disney”. Relationships damage us…it damages everyone.. After you’ve been in a few of them, it’ll change the way you see things(more like stealing your innocence). Happy endings almost never happens, but I still feed off the fantasy.. Thinking about it makes me happy even though I know the chances are as slim as growing a pussy..I’m a one man one date guy, I don’t see why two people can’t last. Thinking about it drives me nuts…
king
August 26, 04:42Eya sorry ooo ndo nwam!!
Ruby
August 26, 04:49Sorry bout that @Earl.
Well in М̣̣̥̇̊Ɣ case, М̣̣̥̇̊Ɣ Heart had been damaged serially by older men while I was searching for companionship until I met М̣̣̥̇̊Ɣ Dream Man (in Keysha Cole’s voice *sent from Heaven*)
He may №t ß̍̍̊ε̲̣̣̣̥ that good looking but he has a good heart n has been able to mend the damage that had been done to М̣̣̥̇̊Ɣ Heart *by those assholes in the past*
I have to say that Life with him has been AMAZING for the past 3years n I know we will spend many more years together *if ƔU̶̲̥̅̊ look past our periodic drama episodes* So I can say that I’m living М̣̣̥̇̊Ɣ own “Gay Disney Happily Ever After”
But the basic truth is that you can make your happy ending come true only if both of you are willing to make an effort in the relationship.
Micky
August 26, 15:09Ruby this comment made me remember some1 from Calabar. Or could it be u??
daniel
August 27, 09:23I always thought he was u know who too. Lol
Dennis Macauley
August 26, 05:10The problem is that you allow other people define what a great relationship is. Every relationship should set it’s own rules and code of conducts, should decide what’ll work and what won’t. You can have your happily ever after or whatever you call it.
pinkpanthertb
August 26, 05:17Or whatever you call it. Some cynicism there, ei, Dennis?
Dennis Macauley
August 26, 07:00Well Pink Panther happiness is relative! To one person it may baking cupcakes together and making goofy face, to another it may be walking hand in hand on the beach and another may favor locking the doors and shagging your eyes out from morning to night!
So “happily every after” (whatever it connotes) varies from couple to couple, Dats assuming it does exist!
stickysly
August 26, 06:44My codolences.
in other news…..
“frogmarched into the nearby friend-zone”…. phrase of life!
kendigin
August 26, 07:02sowi….but u shld probably learm to read the writing on the wall.if a guy doesnt call or communicate with u in 2weeks, unless hes in afghanistan fighting war, its probably over.
Ladies n guys shld learn
…if he doesnt want u, he wont come after u. its not that complicater
pinkpanthertb
August 26, 07:30LOL! He’s just not that into you.
#LoveThatMovie
chestnut
August 26, 07:55I’m with u on dis one Ken. Someone that doesn’t go out of their mind if they don’t hear from u for a week…well, he’s just not that into u.
chestnut
August 26, 08:01Regarding happy endings (or at least semi-happy endings), I think to a large extent, it all depends on “the one”. A guy might treat u like crap,but there’s probably someone out there who he’ll treat different from d others. That guy who doesn’t bother to call u in a whole week, could eventually find someone who he can’t stay without calling for 48 hours.
trystham
August 26, 11:16I usually call that shit karma. It becomes VERY pleasant for me if the ‘called’ is my friend. I just sit back and relax smugly. Bitch, u got that coming.
Who says I am very cynical n skeptical when it comes to relationships? I have found a follower who sees the truth. Welcome Earl to the brotherhood.
Ruby, ur heart is an elastic band jare. No wonder you can RElove as easy as rubber rebounds. I wish u MORE love in this one.
infamousdiaries
August 26, 10:01Truth. Sorry bruh. Stay scrong. Good things happen -eventually.
Lothario
August 26, 10:59Sorry hon! Couldn’t have been a lot of fun…but these things happen. Brush it off and don’t take it out on the next guy.
Issey
August 26, 12:41I’ve been through enough shit myself but I’m not giving up just yet. I’m quite hopeful that my dude will show up soon enough or later, either way he’s on his way(with his bad sense of direction.lol)…..Until then…I’m just chilling.
Neon
August 26, 12:50Earl darl… Reading this was difficult for me, cause as I read I could a rage growing in me. The vitriol was getting unbearable. Its totally relatable, cause I just experienced something similar. I put in my time, effort, emotions, and finances into something I wasn’t even sure existed. He started out all lovey dovey, calling pet names and stuff. Without caution and foreword, he totally swerved into the friendship lane. I took it all good and stuff. But, woulda loved to be with him. If he messed up while we were together, I woulda gone the “hit’em up style” on him!
I dread such situations, but they are lessons. They equally make me wanna stay the way I am. Love-less, hawt and with the boys. Love is indeed overrated. *singing Natsha Bedingfield’s “Single”*
earl
August 27, 05:55Finally… Someone that relates with this…. Its all goina be fyn, Leon….. Time to move on to something better…
cabininthewoods23
August 26, 15:30I saw my ending coming from the begining too. Im damaged goods. She was damaged goods. We were too perfect. Too right. I’ve learned so much from this process that I am walking away feeling sad but stronger. I wish you the best. Look on my blog for some uplifting break up songs!!
trystham
August 26, 15:48Uplifting breakup songs??? Loooooool
pinkpanthertb
August 26, 15:51Quite the irony, innit? Lol
Colossus
August 26, 15:36I’m never an early bird to this site and by the time i get here, the smart ones have said it all (I’m looking at you Dennis Macualey).
For this post though, i got one or two things to say. I’ve read this story twice and maybe because i see myself more from the angle of the other guy. Not the whole gushing on Twitter about his new man and having Sex part though, that’s just disgusting.
Dennis is right, we do have our views on what a relationship is and clearly you two started your “fling” with opposing views. Its clear you fell for him and seems you’re taking it hard but kudos for trying to be brave about it.
Some guys are not the relationship kind, they don’t believe it would lead them anywhere but friendship? Now they can be fierce about that. I don’t know if your friend is in that category but i don’t think you should judge him based on your expectations of what eternal happiness entails.
Ok, i think all the ‘smart’ things i wanted to say has evaporated, I’m done.
sensuousensei
August 28, 19:39“At least he picked a struggle!”
Omg! That killed me DEAD! LOOOL!
T÷
August 28, 20:08Mehn…I just wonder what a lot of ppl would say abt me…*sigh. My jar of broken hearts must be over full by now…but in my defense I am just messed up and confused not that I enjoy breaking ppl’s hearts
pinkpanthertb
August 28, 23:14Clap for yasef, e hia? *scowling at the serial heartbreaker*