36 responses

  1. Ken
    April 6, 2020

    What u are feeling is the after effects of dramatic change of environment. Simply put, your body and psyche aren’t used to living indoors with a partner this long. Am not a psychiatrist but I believe this happens alot to newly married couples who didn’t properly date before handcuffing themselves together for eternity.

    Your brain is shocked at the sudden change of having to be alone with this person for God knows how long. Your best bet is to talk it out. If u are feeling this way, chances are your boo is already feeling your emotional withdrawal too. Talk to ur guy and u guys should try social distancing even in d house. Lol. Take your time, covid ain’t in a hurry

    Reply

    • Francis
      April 6, 2020

      As he said, it’s better to talk about it and figure it out together. Who knows maybe he’s putting up an act sef just as you are 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

      Reply

      • Mandy
        April 6, 2020

        I’m usually an advocate for communicating things with your better half. Talking things out with the person you’re having an issue with.

        But men, it’s gotten personal, and I’m now aware of how difficult it can be to bring up an uncomfortable topic to talk to the other person with.

        Reply

      • Francis
        April 6, 2020

        🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 Shit gets real for real when you’re wearing the shoe. Pele. Hopefully you can figure something out.

        Hope the house isn’t hot sha and you’re not like me that dreads physical contact inside heat.

        If the house get 2 rooms you can social distance easily 😁😁

        Reply

    • Mandy
      April 6, 2020

      Lol. How does one social distance from his lover who he’s living with under the same roof? Genuinely asking. Cos I wanna know what to say about that should I decide to bring this up with him.

      Reply

      • Ken
        April 6, 2020

        Just cough and sneeze, he will immediately give u one room or toilet to yourself. It’s one of d benefits of corona lol

        Reply

  2. trystham
    April 6, 2020

    When is the wedding?

    Reply

    • Francis
      April 6, 2020

      🤣 🤣 🤣

      Reply

    • Mandy
      April 6, 2020

      😂😂😂😂
      I see what you did there, trystham.

      Reply

  3. Mitch
    April 6, 2020

    I’d suggest you wait till this whole isolation thing is over. Get to your own house, into your own space. Then analyse. And maybe try to have sex with him one more time. If it still doesn’t work for you, then it means it’s time for you to tell him. Just, go easy on him. People usually find it hard to understand how their partners can still love them yet not be in love with them.

    But, for now that you’re in his house, I think it’s very important that you find a way to dissuade him from having sex with you. You’re not a sex toy. And you can’t allow yourself to be used to give someone an orgasm while bile rushes into your throat with his every thrust.

    Maybe just tell him you’re not in the mood for sex. Or something like that. It’d help give you a respite from his sexual expectations.

    Reply

    • Mandy
      April 6, 2020

      But Miss Rona is not in a hurry to go anywhere. How long am I going to continue not being in the mood for sex? 😭😭😭

      Reply

      • Mitch
        April 6, 2020

        Everytime he asks, boo.
        I assure you, the awkwardness you’d feel whenever you say you’re not in the mood would be nothing compared to how bad you’d feel if you have sex with him in this headspace you’re in right now.

        Save yourself the stress, nnaa. Just figure out a way around it while you’re in his house.

        Reply

      • Higwe
        April 6, 2020

        Miss Rona will disappear around may but things will return somewhat to normalcy around mid April , so hang in there .

        Pay attention to legit news and don’t subscribe to panic.
        The death rate in some of the most affected countries are decreasing daily.

        Drugs used for treatments have been proving effective.

        So many trial vaccines already underway.

        The economy might take a hit though , but we will all be alive to revive it…. hopefully. 🤷🏽‍♂️

        If I’m right send me your nude with your hole showing 😁

        Reply

      • Persimmon
        April 6, 2020

        Higwe Trump. You should also prescribe chloroquine.

        Reply

      • Higwe
        April 6, 2020

        😁😁😁 wait and see .

        You’ll say I told you so .😎

        Reply

    • Higwe
      April 6, 2020

      Your mind is overwhelmed by everything happening around you and your body is taking the hit.
      The fact he also recently recovered from a sickness brings the pandemic a lot closer to home.

      I honestly think you’re not being fair to him or yourself by staying on and not having a conversation with him.

      If you can’t get yourself to , may I suggest you spend some time away from him till you get your affairs in order .
      Last time I asked , the lockdown isn’t exactly a prison sentence.

      **************************
      Mandy finally updated something about his life , Armageddon is truly upon us. 😁😁😂

      *At the end time the king of the South will collide with him, and the king of the North will storm against him with chariots, with horsemen and with many ships; and he will enter countries, overflow them and pass through*

      😎

      Reply

  4. Chezz
    April 6, 2020

    You are not alone… Though my situation is a bit different but same story. I love my boyfriend but not in love with him. The sex is great and all but I just know something is off. I’m hoping I will find the courage to tell him as it is… But I’m really scared I will lose him… I really love him, like he is freaking awesome… But I don’t feel that spark again.

    Reply

  5. Net
    April 6, 2020

    Wow Mandy, I am going through something similar rn, theres this girl I used to really like infact I still like her company and all and she’s in isolation with me but we’ve not had sex, I even dread kissing her because I’m no longer sexually attracted to her, I still care about her but have no idea how to tell her, I can only makeout with her when I drink, it’s just a horrible thing I hope we both find the strength to cut it off.

    Reply

    • Delle
      April 6, 2020

      See Finish syndrome?

      Can’t help but laugh 😂😂😂

      Choi!

      Reply

  6. Ebube
    April 6, 2020

    I don’t know why relationship between great awesome nice people don’t last…
    And this is so very peculiar to the queer community.

    There always seems to be a point of “I love him, but no longer in love” and then the “it’s not you, it’s me” part.

    The thing this, I could be right or wrong but whichever way:
    Ask yourself why you went into the relationship in the first place.
    I know you’re stressed and all, but try to get the real answer, you most definitely can’t lie to yourself, that’s witchcraft.

    Ask yourself what and how you’ll feel, perhaps, the tables were turned under this same circumstance.

    Ask yourself if he had offended you before now, you know something he did that you probably never confronted him about and yoore nursing somewhere in your heart.

    There must be something. People don’t just fall out of love. Let’s not normalize this one please, for all our sakes…

    All the same. Do what’s best for you, then again, put your partner into consideration too, he also has feelings your decisions could destroy.
    #xo

    Reply

    • Pink Panther
      April 6, 2020

      Just wanna ask something.

      “I don’t know why relationships between great awesome nice people don’t last… And this is so very peculiar to the queer community.”

      How do you know this though?

      Reply

      • Gblex
        April 7, 2020

        You are so spot on pinky. I hope I have the courage to tell my story some day.

        Reply

    • Kennie
      April 13, 2020

      Your response indeed speaks of experience. I read most of what other guys wrote. I don’t know them but I can see most of them are still single.
      I used to be an MGM. So I would say this. Welcome to married life. I know all of you all wanna get married some day.
      This is what you see. There are feelings you are hiding before this. Search your soul. If you can’t talk it out with him. Confess it to your trusted friend.
      Besides I would suggest you try and run a mile every morning and evening. It will reinvigorate you.

      Reply

      • Pink Panther
        April 14, 2020

        You know ALL of us ALL wanna get married some day???
        Lol. OK.

        Reply

  7. Delle
    April 6, 2020

    Please talk to him about it.

    Maybe not now because it may be awkward between you both afterward and having to stay under the same roof will be umm…icky?

    So wait this out but not sweat it. I guess this happens. This I have termed the Termination Period almost always happens and I know cos I have been a victim twice.

    You cannot ENDURE because you’re hurting him still. Being with someone out of pity is very injurious to yourself and the person (when the truth surfaces which it very well does, many a time. Why risk it?).

    OAN, how annoying it is that I can’t even get a decent lay in this times and someone is wanting out of his. This world is indeed unfair 😭

    Reply

  8. Tobee
    April 6, 2020

    I think it’s possible that in nursing him through his illness you yourself were stressed and this may have affected your capacity to respond adequately sexually.

    It is also possible that his illness rushed you into a less erotic phase of your relationship. You still care about him, which is why you enjoy his company; but perhaps nursing him made you see him as more than a sex object (I’m not saying this is all he was before).

    You may also not yet have fully come to terms with his recovery, even if you ‘know’ it. You may therefore feel caught between your roles as his carer and as his lover.

    From all of these, you hopefully see that there are many possibilities. I’ll suggest talking with him and giving things some time to settle – don’t panic, I’m sure many of our parents would have gone through similar things. Take care and take things gently. Hugs.

    Reply

  9. Black Dynasty
    April 7, 2020

    Easier said than done but have a conversation with him.

    Don’t delay the convo as there’s only so long you can hold out or pretend to enjoy sex with him. Miss Rona is likely going to be here for a while… at least for a few more weeks at this rate (except we get a cure and/or vaccine in the next few weeks). I work in an industry where we have to make decisions on the probability of things changing…and let’s just say April is written off. The infection rate curve is still growing at an exponential rate.

    Thing is, we know deep down when there is a problem and it’s probably best to be honest when it involves the two of you :). We can’t control what happens in the future but you can be straight up with him and walk forward with a clean slate, no matter what happens

    I hope it goes well.

    Reply

  10. T.T
    April 7, 2020

    I can relate .. I once cared for a guy we were fucking when he was ill. After he got better , He made a sexual move on me but I declined giving him an excuse that all I wanted is for his full recovery. But I lied, because inside me all the sexual feelings I had on this dude have suddenly disappeared, all I did was to hug him and sleep together. I left his place and gave myself sometimes. But When we met again our fucking continues and the sex was great as usual .

    Reply

  11. T.T
    April 7, 2020

    My advice is find a way or an excuse you can leave his place and give yourself time, you will reconnect back to him.

    Reply

  12. Oludayo
    April 7, 2020

    Hey Mandy,

    You may be experiencing caregiver stress. It can have an effect on your libido and mental health as well.

    You can look it up and see if it fits

    Reply

  13. Rexxy
    April 11, 2020

    Talk to him, analyse your feelings.
    It’s more like withdrawal symptoms, I remember when I planned with babe to go to Obudu for almost 6 months and eventuarrii when we got to Obudu I just didn’t feel it, that first night had always had a picture in my head but dorleen i was sick inside and I rather felt sorry for him.

    Lucky we both blamed it on “bus Lag” from the long journey but after 3 days baba was getting frustrated because inasmuch as I wanted to have fun with him something was missing.

    We talked it out, rather he forced me to talk and when he found out my feelings he made it a point of duty to make me fall for him afresh, date nights, ice cream, romantic gestures, holding my hand… Looking into my eye and all… All the happened and he never pushed for sex.

    After 4 more days I had fallen head over heels again and I reaffirmed why I fell for this goat in the first place.

    This time I initiated coitus and trust me babe was more than ready to give it to me in more than one way.

    I know different strokes for different folks but if you try and think about why you fell the first time, separate your thoughts from sex for a bit and ask yourself if you really wanna be with this person maybe you can make yourself fall back in Love with him. Or you can walk away.
    don’t force things

    Love you Mandy

    Reply

  14. Mike
    April 13, 2020

    Dear Manny, lemme finishing laughing 😁.
    Think of it this way, sickness is so unattractive. That’s the easiest way I can put it. You’ve seen you boyfriend at his weakest, unattractive self. The part of him, without those activeness or hormones that naturally makes him attractive, right now, he’s a weakling, just human not Edris Alba.
    To make matters worst, you’re on lockdown, in the same house with him 24hrs. Sweetheart, there’s no way to put this lightly 🤪, but all that shit ain’t romantic, it will just kill your drive. You’ve seen him puke, sleep all day, act lazily no strength. 🤒 It’s like all that shit you find attractive is gone.

    Well Manny, welcome to having a relationship, the real side of things, the boyfriend without the clean shave, bread and moimoi for lunch not friend rice and chicken, the boyfriend who’ll probably go a week without taking his bath, the boyfriend who isn’t trying hard to seduce you with cheap words anymore, the boyfriend who sees you as normal, no more Infatuation he knows you’ll always be there, you fit somewhere in his life, so there’s no need to fuse, probably seems like he’s taking you for granted.

    This is what a real relationship is like after you’ve gotten past the fucking stage, and you’re ready for something serious, a role in each other’s lives, not some fucking hobby literally, that’s what most relationship are actually,just a continuous, constant fucking hobby.

    Wait for him to get well, fully well. Get out of the house, breath in fresh air, that does not remind your psych of sickness, weakness blah blah blah.🙄 All that not so attractive shit.

    You love your boyfriend and you’re still attracted to him, right now he’s just suffocating you, probably more demanding than you were actually mentally ready for.

    So time and space, 🤒 I’ll say, go back on Grindr, hook up, call those ex’s meet up, have sex, have fun you’ll be able to tell the difference.
    Certain things just appeal to the mind because of how distant they’re and how much imagination you put into them, than actuality, for example. All your past Grindr hookups where useless to you, your ex’s probably was a psycho or too commanding etc. Your mental mind wouldn’t remind you of this things but would drum up sexually fleeting sex scenes. 🤪.

    Reply

    • Pink Panther
      April 13, 2020

      This is a very interesting comment.

      Reply

    • Francis
      April 13, 2020

      Relationship is having a moment and the next thing is to hop on Grindr?! 🙄🙄🙄 I hope when this is dished to you some day, you’d eat it up and not complain fa.

      Reply

  15. Mike
    April 13, 2020

    Question duo, how do people in a relationship go months without having sex?. 😆.
    I don’t understand this shit, someone explain this shit.

    Reply

    • Pink Panther
      April 13, 2020

      😂😂😂😂😂😂
      Very baffling to me.

      Reply

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