RIGHT NEXT TO ME
Finding Love. That’s one idea I’ve tried not to think about since my last relationship ended. Sometimes I get really horny and go into occasional flings with a friend who has become my go-to for casual sex. Well, that was until January when we returned to our different schools. So, when I found myself scouring Grindr, I happened on a situation I legit do not know how to handle.
In my school, starting a new session in the male hostel means a new room, possibly a new hall, and most importantly, new roommates. A typical room in my new hall, Hall A, takes four students – a 400 level, two 200 level and a 100 level. I was in 400 level, which meant I was the most senior in my room. Soon after I was settled, Malachi and Peter, two 200 level students of the Theatre Arts department moved in. because of the difference in our classes, I didn’t pay much attention to them.
It was only after a few days that I started noticing Peter, the shorter of the duo. It was bewildering, my sudden attraction to him, seeing he was dark and I have a thing for mostly fair guys. Peter was average-heighted with sensually dark eyes, naturally pink lips and sparkling, white teeth that seemed to make his face glow whenever he smiled. The first time I actually looked at him twice was the day he missed his footing and dropped his phone into the bowl of water I set aside to wash the fish I bought. Since I was partly to blame for his misfortune, having thoughtlessly left the water out there in the middle of the room, I was effusive with my apologies. He didn’t seem to mind much though, even calling me “Bros” as he made to dismiss my penitence.
After that day, I started paying attention to him, noticing his gingerly steps, his almost-perfect diction and alluring smile. Sometimes our eyes would meet and I’d be the first to quickly look away, something that infuriated me. I didn’t understand this stir he was causing within me, without him apparently even meaning to. Let’s not talk about the sensations he stirred in me every time he stripped to his briefs to go have his bath. Or how much I began to yearn for a chance to cup his face in my hands and keep us locked in an intimate embrace every time he looked at me to say things to me like: “Bros, I’m off to class…” or “Please can I make use of your adaptor to charge my phone?” or “Good morning, bros..” or some such other non-conversational comments.
I figured I was just reacting to sex deprivation. And so, to Grindr I went. Time to find someone to fuck some restoration back to my system.
I beeped a profile, one with a very engaging and coy profile description. After some texting, I realized we stayed around the same area. I asked if we could share pictures and he declined, saying he preferred to keep his identity secret until he meets a guy from Grindr in person. That should have sent me on my way, but because we’d had quite an interesting conversation and he appeared the more intriguing, I agreed to exchange numbers and meet that evening, flying blind.
When I saved his number, I immediately searched out his profile on WhatsApp but the profile picture there was that of a horse. I gave up and prayed to the rainbow gods to not make me regret this blind date.
When it was 5 PM, our agreed time, I called him. He picked and told me he was on his way to the location we’d earlier agreed to rendezvous at. There was something really familiar about the voice, but I just couldn’t place it. However, when about five minutes later, I found myself walking along the road behind Peter, whose back was to me with his headset hung around his neck, I couldn’t be more shocked.
It had to be him!
I was in no way prepared for the surprise. The surprise that the guy I had spent a week monitoring, spent days drooling over and hours admiring was actually gay. The surprise that the guy who had been intriguing me on Grindr was someone I’d basically been sharing the same living quarters with for weeks. Part of me wanted to walk on, past him, away from him, to process the shock. But the other part, where the greater force lay, made me put on a smile as I hastened my steps and reached out to touch the edge of his jacket.
“Claymade?” I called him by his moniker on Grindr.
When he turned and was confronted with the sight of me, he first appeared startled, then mystified, and then astonished, this last emotion probably because he’d made the connection that I was the person he was on his way to see.
“You are…?” He couldn’t say my Grindr name, either because he’d forgotten or was still recovering from the shock.
“Aphrodisiac, yeah,” I supplied.
“Wow…” he said before letting out a breathy, awkward laugh. Which I joined in.
For that first date, we talked for a while about several issues, and for the first time, I didn’t look away when he looked me in the eye. I didn’t move away when he placed his arms around my neck, and when I finally kissed him, it was as surreal as the moment had seemed. As beautiful as I’d imagined kissing his lips would feel.
It’s been quite something since that glorious evening, a few days since that I have spent wondering what to do. Do I pursue an affair that could possibly lead to something serious with my roommate, right there in a space we share with two other straight guys? Do I pull back and limit our affinity to buddies, even though this is someone I find myself being really compatible with? Do I damn any possible consequence that could arise from entering a sexual relationship with someone this next to me? Or do I withdraw back to the way things were and keep admiring him from a distance?
What do I do?
Written by T-Man
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37 Comments
O_shabby
April 15, 08:05Be cool with him because he would be your best friend but immediately you guys have sexual intercourse the respect wont be there again ?
Pink Panther
April 15, 08:21The respect??? You mean there’s usually no respect between lovers who are friends?
Queen Blue Fox
April 15, 08:39I’m not understanding either o. I’m legit shook
Higwe
April 15, 16:23He’s actually right .
The disposition of the writer in the narrative portrays him as someone whose self respect and personal space are of utmost importance to him .
His very specific emphasis on “seniority ”
The fact he didn’t give the two new entrants the time of the day -merely because they were in lower classes – till the unfortunate phone incident .
His involuntary or otherwise overemphasis on the “object of his desires” formal politeness .
I think he’s someone that values conventional respect .
And let’s be realistic , the moment the sex happens a lot of formality will be thrown out of the window .
For instance …do you think his dark hottie will still seek his permission to make use of his adaptor ; I know I wouldn’t ?
I think O_shabby was on to something ….he just didn’t word them with enough grammatical finesse to impress your sagacious’ comment dissections ?
The conventional respect will definitely be gone but if the two parties involved are mature, they can build another kind of respect.
* The writer’s love interest comes across as multifaceted , but I didn’t notice that many discrepancies between his presumed reality and his internet alter ego. …. they both seem very calm and mature …only that the latter is far more engaging and intriguing , though the former never really got the chance ……so I’m totally banking on it (that there will be a relationship respect )
___________
I’m sorry, but is the small geh supposed to be calling the man she’s sleeping with “sir” simply because he is someone you are kowtowing to? That’s not a lack of respect. That’s a sign of familiarity.
Uhmmmm
You could be right , but don’t forget the popular saying that ” familiarity breeds contempt ”
All in all , o_ shabby does have a point, but it all depends on the people involved .
Quite a number of people do not know how to handle intimacy .?
Pink Panther
April 15, 17:27My incredulity at O-Shabby’s comment is this: if two people are intimate or having a love affair, why should there be any hangup with things like respect and seniority? Once you cross that threshold with another person, you shouldn’t expect the person to still be regarding you like you’re some sort of “senior”. Of course he is not going to ask for permission to charge his phone with his charger because their intimacy has deservedly taken away that barrier that would otherwise exist if they were just roommates. There is a familiarity, and familiarity doesn’t automatically mean there is no regard. The same thing applies to friendship. When two people become really close friends, no matter if one is senior to the other, they become familiar. And that familiarity is a good thing. Unless you’re an authoritative asshole, how comfortable would you be if the person you’re dating or regard as a friend defers to you all the time or calls you “sir” or bows and scrapes before you?
There IS respect in relationships, whether as lovers or as mere friends, and it is the kind that comes with two MATURE people who understand that they are equally giving to the growth of that relationship. Not two people where one expects to still be recognized as a senior.
Higwe
April 15, 17:58We are basically saying the same thing .
The two parties involved are the cynosures here.
O’ shabby probably based his comment on the perception he got from the writer , who made it decisively obvious in multiple instances , that he’s very much into the seniority stuff .
*Reason he wasn’t ebulient to socialize with his new roommates simply because they’re in lower levels academically *
Probably the reason he’s reluctant to start a new relationship with his very much available roommate , because it will obfuscate that structured way of thinking in his head .
I honestly think o’ shabby was forewarning the writer like – LOOK HERE DUDE , JUST INCASE YOU TWO SLEEP TOGETHER AND THINGS DOESN’T WORK OUT AS YOU EXPECT , DONT EXPECT THE FORMAL RESPECTFUL RELATIONSHIP YOU GUYS HAD TO STILL BE THE SAME .BEST YOU STAY FRIENDS .
But I could be wrong ?
Mario
April 15, 21:24You, Higwe are one very analytic person. I found your comments very interesting. You added colour to the story, took me deeper and made me think about a lot of things that have nothing to do with the story above. Brilliant 🙂
Delle
April 15, 11:42Wow! It then implies that no one respects anyone. I didn’t know, until today, that sex had such powers as to suck out courtesy the minute a person achieves orgasm.
*sigh*
trystham
April 15, 12:44It actually does. In many straight relationships where there is an age disparity. You know kuku see all these small gehs that wee be calling the person u r kowtowing to by their names
Pink Panther
April 15, 14:58I’m sorry, but is the small geh supposed to be calling the man she’s sleeping with “sir” simply because he is someone you are kowtowing to? That’s not a lack of respect. That’s a sign of familiarity.
Keredim
April 15, 08:39Could be the dry spell speaking.
Have sex with him first and if you still feel butterflies afterwards go for it.
But being in a relationship with a roommate with other guys around , will have it’s challenges…..
Could be exiting too☺️☺️
Queen Blue Fox
April 15, 08:41Go ahead and have sex with the Nigga jor, all these people that are handed food on a platter and they are doing conference call to know if they’ll chop, y’all tire me.
Keredim
April 15, 08:51Nna, it kills me with laughter too!!
??????
Pink Panther
April 15, 09:07??????
Higwe
April 15, 14:42??????
My brother the thing tire me .
Free and easy sex and you won’t even need to waste money on t fare .
Mark
April 16, 10:58Conference call. Lol
KingBey
April 16, 17:32Is it not you again? Akuna Akuna ???
John
April 15, 08:44Give it your best shot
No
April 15, 08:59This has the propensity to turn out really awkward.
Fred
April 15, 10:20I don’t know about you but I know I can’t turn down someone who seems mature and appears to be very natural. I’d take things slow but keep him close.
What would really be awkward is not giving him a chance.
Ethereal
April 15, 10:48Candid advice to you dear, I would advice you take things slow, try building up something real with him & then see where it leads. Often times, we tend to let our passions & fantasies, becloud our senses of reasoning & that’s why most of the time after initiating sex in the beginning of something & it doesn’t pan out well, we tend to feel being used & dumped when the fire is no more. But dear, if you want the sex thing & not a relationship, by all means do so. I just have this avid distaste for mixing up things & matters that makes an already complicated life, worse of… (My thoughts, I stand to be corrected though)
Delle
April 15, 11:39First, I think you need to ask yourself some pertinent questions.
Do I really love this guy enough to be in a relationship or is this just another adventure piqued by the edginess presented by the situation? You did say you got on Grindr to get some action and I get how tempting and delicious it is to have an in-house FWB.
Can I risk being outed to my roommates in the course of our being together (because trust me, the possibility of your roommates getting wind of the romance between you both is quite high)?
Or do I not care that they’ll find out?
If you’re convinced in yourself that you like this beyond the physical and still unsure of how your roommates may take it, I’ll suggest you get an apartment off-campus. But of course you both will have to discuss it, that is, you and Claymade.
Relationships aren’t jumped into. Take your time. Tick your options.
Maybe you should have sex with him and see if that helps your thinking.
Omiete
April 15, 12:26I don’t see the issue. Think about it this way in this unsafe Nigeria there is someone you trust that you can hook up with. Or at best be friends with, we all need gay friends. And if you end up becoming boyfriends better you’re always together and people wonder it will be like they are roommates and the other two roommates won’t bother too much about the relationship unlike if you are dating someone else
trystham
April 15, 13:06How were u even having all those Grindr chats, so close to each other and u would not even know?
Kelvin
April 15, 17:25“For that first date, we talked for a while about several issues, and for the first time, I didn’t look away when he looked me in the eye. I didn’t move away when he placed his arms around my neck, and when I finally kissed him, it was as surreal as the moment had seemed. As beautiful as I’d imagined kissing his lips would feel.”
That right there is called love. I would suggest you get ur personal apartment if you are financially capable, and you can as well talk claymade into it, having sexual relationship or love affair with him
In that hostel might risk you both being outed to your other roommates.
Sim
April 15, 21:26I would with him and know what he want.
Thereafter save money, rent an apartment and build something with him.
Then for the 1st 5 months, I will be fucking him everyday .. inseminating him with sperm to get pregnant ?.Yazz who Say Jesus dosent do miracle ?
KingBey
April 16, 17:35Why did this comment turn me on? ???
Aladdin
April 15, 22:52Hmm this is fate oh
For the fact that he is not really your type yet you found him attractive
Then you decided to distract yourself of all the people in grindr its him you found
Then your first date
I thought grindr is a hookup app
I don’t think this is a coincidence oh
My brother grab it. just be careful and take thing slow
Tman
April 16, 13:05Wow, these comments are immense! Thanks guys, really appreciate the diverse options.
As an aside, Higwe, yeah you’re right about me holding my personal space in high regards but are totally wrong about your other assumption – I’m not one who takes reverence to a halo level.
I just wanted to use the first few weeks to appraise the new guys, understand their individual traits and all.
Thanks for your analysis though, I always look forward to you and Delle’s comments.
Higwe
April 16, 14:22Uhmmmm ?
Based on your story ………
I think your personality trait falls under – Conscientiousness.
People like that are very organized , efficient and sometimes perfectionists .
They are also conformists .
Conformists in the sense that they mostly follow accepted behaviors or established practices , idea or rules.
I never said you wanted to be revered to a halo level ; I simply implied that there just might be that part in your subconscious mind that will be like – OKAY ,THESE PEOPLE ARE TECHNICALLY YOUNGER THAN I AM , THIS IS HOW I’M SUPPOSED TO BEHAVE AROUND THEM .
And nope , it’s not coming from a place of pride , just something you’ve imprinted in your mind subconsciously over a period of your life .
———————–
Answer me this one question Honestly , and if the answer is affirmative ,I’ll apologize for misjudging you .
If those two new entrants were perhaps older than you are or on the same academic level with you , would you have taken that long to start socializing with them ? ?
Tman
April 16, 17:00If they were level mates whom I’ve had no previous acquaintance with, I’ll act the same. You just don’t rush into striking random bonds of friendship, you take time to evaluate and assess your prospects.
Are they worth keeping as friends? Are they reasonable? Do they bring something worthwhile? I don’t know about you, but this should be the necessary prerequisites to consider before you go all out bearing smiles.
Delle
April 17, 09:48Why thank you, T-Man. You, my friend, are having a hell of an experience here ?
Higwe
April 16, 19:54You just don’t rush into striking random bonds of friendship, you take time to evaluate and assess your prospects.
????
I never talked about friendship !
I talked about socialization (interacting )
You do know you can have a friendly relationship with someone without the two of you necessarily being – Friends ?
While everything you listed are important in making FRIENDS …they’re not necessary when it comes to socialization .
Two strangers can be in bus and start interacting …..they’ll gist throughout the journey , when they arrive at the park , junction or wherever…. they’ll bid each other goodbye and head to their different destinations.
They certainly socialized , but are they friends?
———————————
Malachi and Peter, two 200 level students of the Theatre Arts department moved in. because of the difference in our classes, I didn’t pay much attention to them.
Those are your words not mine , you clearly stated here that you didn’t pay much attention to them because of the difference in your classes .
But maybe I’m having a phantasmagoria.?
Probably what you wrote is that you were waiting for your roommates to prove they’re reasonable ,sensible and have something worthwhile to bring to the table before you people can talk about the weather ,a shitty lecturer or the dreadful position of Chelsea in the EPL .
But being a man of my word…. I effusively apologize for misinterpreting your words and making a baseless assumption about your personality.
Please accept my profound , heartfelt apology .?
—————————-
And about your last statement – I go about bearing smiles .
You’d be surprised the number of freebies I’ve gotten and still getting because I always have a smile plastered on my face like a clown .??
The country is already hard enough ….. making it a bit more cheerful ; is the least I can do .?
Tman
April 16, 23:36Haha ??
You win Higwe, you win. I love you too. ?
Jekbay
April 20, 12:46Okay this is the first story I’m reading on this blog.
Quite interesting, but really, you gotta keep him close.
Stuff like this is what I pray for every single day!!??
Someone close, mature, and dark!
Las Las I’ll have to go and install Grindr
J
April 22, 10:31LOL there are so many psychos there. I’m wishing you good luck though, you could meet your favorite train wreck ☺
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