Homophile – Same Love

Homophile – Same Love

This is another piece written by a female Kitodiariesian. She goes by the pseudonym FromCocoonToButterfly. Read her offering below and enjoy.


couple_2779095bHomophile (n): A homosexual man or woman; (adj) Of or relating to homosexuals (“homo-” meaning “same”; “-phile” from the Greek word “love”)

A Little Background:

The word Homophile was commonly used in the 1950s and ’60s, but fizzled out with the emergence of the gay liberation movements where the terms gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender (LGBT) and homosexual were preferred. This was thought to have happened due to the need to dissociate from the word, Paedophile, one considered a mental health illness, since same-sex attraction in 1973 was officially no longer considered a medical condition.

Now to the article:

Bring back the word Homophile. Let love be the centerpiece in reference to same-gender attraction. Let’s face it: The word Homosexual only makes you think about Sex. And that’s what scares the homophobes.

I mean, think about it. The vague notion of non-penetrative female parts somehow getting sexual gratification is unimaginable to the patriarchally colonized mind. And for a man to choose a smelly rectum to dip his phallus into over a warm, self-lubricating vagina is completely daunting, if not horrific to the straight and narrow mind. Although some vaginas smell worse than any anus (trust me, I’m lesbian), but that’s another story.

When you de-emphasize ‘sex’ as in homo-SEX-ual, and call it ‘love’ as in homo-PHILE, more people are likely to get it.  Even the straightest ruler can understand a crush (see what I did there?). Yes, I know some people will argue that associating gays (generally speaking) with a word that reminds you of sexual activity rather than child abuse is a no-brainer, but the fact is child abuse, any kind of abuse, is psychologically and physically damaging, and thereby criminal. Where two consenting adults are concerned, there is no psychological damage. On the contrary, the opposite has been the trend. If there is any damage, it usually comes from the fear of a disapproving environment. As for physical damage and risk, I guarantee there’s no less damage done or risk involved than is found in heterosexual sexual involvement. Except for the unwanted pregnancies of course.

It’s about the attraction. The magnetic pull of attributes that are appealing and draw you into a person. It’s about those things that make you stare, and cause you to involuntarily scratch the back of your neck. For some people, it’s bold and masculine, and some others, it’s soft and feminine. For some, it’s the contrast of assigned gender with a variant gender expression. Or the sexy mystery of androgyny. Whatever it is shouldn’t matter because at the end of the day, whatever endears you to another, whatever ignites that initial first spark, makes each and every one of us feel the very same thing. Whether you’re straight or gay, heterosexual or a homophile, we can all relate to this feeling which would be sinful to call a sin. It’s too beautiful to deny.

So again, I call for a change of term from Homosexual back to Homophile, so that what unites us in the experience of love and attraction can once again be waved at the fore-front of our homogeneous experiences as humans. Maybe with it, we will start to see that we aren’t that different. We all wake up in the morning, brush our teeth, do chores and worry about finances like everyone else. We only choose to do it with the ones we are drawn to, not the ones we are expected to be drawn to. Like the word Gay which also means to be happy, let Homophile remind us that it is all the same love. The same one that inspires us to be the best version of ourselves. Hopefully, hearing your conservative parents say “You’re a homophile?” will help make coming out a little less embarrassing, for those who choose that route. And for others, I hope it will help them become more accepting of themselves because Homo will be less associated with wreckless sex and more associated with love.

Using the word Homophile won’t solve it all, but it’s a darn good place to start.

(Re: “Same Love” Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, Featuring Mary Lambert)

Written by FromCocoonToButterfly

Previous Actor Benson Okonkwo claims he’s the Sexiest Man in Nigeria
Next Sunday...well, Humour

About author

You might also like

Our Stories 26 Comments


You remember the first day you saw him; he had been wearing a blue shirt. It had been remarkable because it was your orientation week and you first-years had not

Our Stories 31 Comments

Under Construction: Kitchen Sink

…because a kitchen sink to you is not a kitchen sink to me. It hardly is black and white. Happy or sad. Good or bad. Okay or not okay. Much

Our Stories 50 Comments


Previously on AT THE END OF MY BREATH… * I was starting to make new friends online, some of whom I’ve met and some of whom I haven’t. Dillish was


  1. Absalom
    September 20, 06:15 Reply

    I love, love your mind, FromCocoonToButterfly. I liked how you emphasised the mystery in attraction. Really spoke to me. You are my new crush.

  2. simba
    September 20, 07:12 Reply

    An intelligent sister with a zeal for research. Thanks for article, lots of love.. hope ur brains don’t scare ur markets lol.. cheers angel

    • Ruby
      September 20, 07:31 Reply

      Lovely piece Boo! I love how the words flowed and I can confidently say that I’m a HOMOPHILE.
      Hope we see more articles from you

  3. trystham
    September 20, 07:27 Reply

    I’m sooo wired up calling myself ‘homosexual’. I imagine telling my friends “I’m a homophile”. I can imagine their laughing comments already. “You’re gay, you’re gay. Which one be ‘homophile’ again?”
    #sigh This sure will need a lot of getting used to.

    Now, about the smelly pussies

  4. king
    September 20, 07:51 Reply

    Homophile against homosexual…hmmm ok it looks like my phone doesn’t even have the first word in its vocabulary but the second…nonetheless I am so impressed about the way you went about this piece….coz it was good….its just that the first word still seems to me a little bit predictable coz some just fall short and say “homo”….so how do we deal. And again doesn’t the word “Homophile” mean same love….so it’s not really an alternative to homosexual is it..i might have the same love but that doesn’t mean I AM the same love too abi???

  5. Remy Dubois
    September 20, 09:02 Reply

    Awesome song…I feel in love with it from day 1…buh diz one nah long talk sha..just like every sausage roll is called “gala”…they will still call us “homo”…if dey wud complete it and call me “homosexual”…wud be cool…”homo” is just condescending.

    • Lothario
      September 21, 08:32 Reply

      Remy Dubois, I keep wanting to say this….I love your moniker…. It’s gorgeous!

  6. s_sensei
    September 20, 09:16 Reply

    Beautifully written! With lucid points that flowed easily! Well done! I agree with you. People think homosexual is someone who has sex with the persons with the same external genitalia. That term is such an injustice to the beautiful attraction that occurs between two humans, sometimes leading to sex, sometimes not.

    • xpressivejboy
      September 20, 18:57 Reply

      Sensei, you just read and spelt my mind already…
      4rmCocoon2Butterfly, you’ll always be my role model. What a lovely piece, this is.

  7. GB_SHOW!
    September 20, 17:12 Reply

    Nice piece, but d grammar plenty o!

  8. tikky20
    September 20, 23:44 Reply

    Nice one….. If only they’d understand that its centered more on the likeness/love and attraction to same sex….and not just wiping clean a rectum evaded dick or a chick licking her lips after a pussy feast….. Hope to see more of ur articles dear.

  9. Emmanuella Nduonofit
    September 21, 02:39 Reply

    “Homophile”… hmmmm. 🙂 This is great. I am deeply impressed of your intent to resurrect a word from history. Very good. If this is re-inserted in our modern-day thesauruses, it would be very wonderful. “Homophilia”… I am a sucker for word coinages. 😉

Leave a Reply