SCRUBS AND CROCS (Episode 4)

As streams of hot water flowed from the large shower head onto his skin, Xavier was still trying to wrap his head around how a simple plan of going out alone to get a few drinks turned into a date with a hot young man and then, very arguably, the best sex he had ever had.

How long has it been now? he thought to himself.

He had been celibate for about eight months. The most action he had gotten all that while was from his right hand, some lotion and his really large porn stash safely hidden away in his laptop.

Before then, the one person he ever let himself fall for was Emeka. They had dated for three years and in Xavier’s opinion, they had been going strong up until the day he used Emeka’s phone to call their mutual friend, Tunde.

Tunde had answered the call and, before Xavier could speak, began talking about how much he’d missed Emeka’s touch. A stunned Xavier had sat there, on the other end of the line, feeling the sinking sensation that came with the realization that he’d been betrayed in the worst possible way.

He would later find out that his boyfriend had been having sex with their friend for about six months. They’d even been planning on relocating to Canada together. Emeka’s defence had been that he didn’t know how he was going to tell Xavier that he had fallen in love with Tunde. That he had planned on telling him after their plan to relocate was finalized. Xavier couldn’t believe the enormity of their betrayal and deceit.

Thinking back and remembering all of that made Xavier start to feel angry all over again. It was because he didn’t want to make himself vulnerable to the possibility of ever experiencing such heartbreak that he placed his heart under lock and key with a huge padlock. And because sex was a very intimate affair for him, he’d also sworn off getting with anybody.

That of course had been so until yesterday when he met Ehis.

“Why do I feel this giddy?” he said out loud to himself, searching for an explanation for how good thinking about Ehis made him feel. “What is the matter with you, Xavier? Snap out of it. One hookup after eight months of celibacy, and suddenly you think you’ve met Prince Charming?” He snorted in self-deprecation and climbed out of the shower.

He walked into the bedroom, drying himself with a towel as he moved, and picked his phone to call his friend, Simeon, to fill him in on what happened the previous night.

Xavier had always considered Simeon to be someone with a vast wealth of experience in all things gay – a gay Yoda of some sort. Simeon was his longtime best friend and colleague, whom he met back in the university, back when he’d been suffering under the burden of internalized homophobia. Simeon had helped him navigate the tortuous paths of self-discovery to reach his destination of acceptance.

“Nawa o!” exclaimed Simeon over the phone, after Xavier had narrated everything that happened with Ehis, from how they met to the sex they eventually had.

“It just happened. You know I haven’t been keen on meeting anybody for some time,” Xavier said.

“For some time?” Simeon echoed. “Dude, nearly a year of celibacy is not ‘some time’ in the gayborhood. It is a decade. I have tried to set you up with plenty fine boys, all of which you have turned down. This guy must be something for you to just give him the D just because he said you should stay the night.”

“I swear, I never experedit,” Xavier said with a laugh.

“But wait o. You said he’s one of the new interns at the hospital, right?” Simeon asked.

“Yes he is,” Xavier replied, knowing where his friend was headed.

“You know how things can get messy, especially with you two working in the same hospital,” Simeon said warningly. “And you’re his superior and all. Make e no go cast o.”

“I’ve thought about it. But really, all this just happened with barely any time for me to think. I’ll be seeing him again this evening, and then we can talk about it all.”

“Oh great. So you guys are having the ‘what are we now?’ talk this evening, huh?” Simeon said with a laugh.

“No joor!” Xavier protested laughingly. “Hian, it’s not that serious.”

“Yet,” Simeon rejoined. “Good luck, my friend, and may the odds be in your favor.”

“You’re just a yeye person,” Xavier retorted.

He was still laughing as they disconnected from the call.

***

Ehis was watching an episode of Greenleaf when he heard a knock on the door. He went to open to find, as expected, David on the threshold. The two friends were exchanging greetings and pleasantries as Ehis stepped aside for David to move in with his traveling bag and a nylon that had some loaves of bread in it.

The next few minutes were spent with Ehis reclining on the bed, watching as David unpacked, all the while gisting him about his trip to Ibadan. He seemed especially stoked as he talked about the hot girl he’d apparently been wooing, who he finally got to have sex with. He was still gabbing away on the details of the sex, which Ehis had absolutely no interest in, as he made for the bathroom with his toiletries.

When he returned to the bedroom, David was wearing a wide smile.

“So, I travel for less than a week and you are already lashing girls in my room, abi?” he said with a chortle.

Ehis stared at him, not comprehending what he was saying.

“Guy, no dey form Dolapo jare,” David said. “There are two used condoms in the toilet. So two rounds, huh? Baba, na you o!” He raised his hands, shaking them at Ehis in a hailing gesture.

The first emotion that zipped through Ehis was panic. Horror that the evidence of his tryst with Xavier from the night before had been discovered by his very-heterosexual roommate slammed into him. For a moment, he forgot to register that David actually thought he’d used the condoms on a woman. It would seem as though the condoms didn’t get flushed down the toilet, despite his attempts.

However, the shock began to wear off almost immediately when he realized that he hadn’t outed himself just because two condoms were found floating in the toilet bowl.

He permitted himself a chuckle as he told his friend, “It’s not what you think.”

“Of course, it’s not,” David said with a grin, clearly thinking that Ehis was being demure. “At least, you are being safe.” And then, he returned his gist about Ibadan and the girl he hooked up with.

Ehis zoned out a bit, like he did whenever his friend talked about his social life. David had been a year ahead of him back in Med School in AAU, and Ehis had known him to be quite the ‘Spiro’ – a term they used for the Christian type in school who were zealous with their faith and, honestly, quite judgmental. However, this religious fervor had conveniently waned over the years as David apparently discovered the joys of sex. Despite this backslidden ways, Ehis had come to realize that David was still quick to take the moral high ground, mounting that high horse of righteous indignation whenever it served his purpose. He would swiftly whip out a bible verse to support his judgment of someone else’s transgressions… And yet, here he was, regaling Ehis with stories of his sexual conquests. Even seeming to approve of what he believed to be Ehis’s busy sex life.

Ehis wondered, like he always did in the past, what would happen if he interrupted his friend running monologue with an announcement that he was gay. That the condoms he found in his toilet weren’t used inside some girl’s vagina but in his own asshole.

It was such a titillatingly delicious thought, that Ehis found himself smiling as he pictured David’s outraged reaction.

“This one you dey smile, you dey hear me so?” David said, his loud voice jolting Ehis from his rumination.

“Hmmm?” Ehis replied, scrabbling mentally for an excuse for his lack of attention. “No vex. Please, let me use your phone to check which film is showing at the cinema today. My data has finished.” Perhaps, this could be a proper date for him and Xavier when they meet this evening. Thinking about the man who’d spent the night with him caused a flutter of pleasure in his stomach.

“Badoo!” David crowed. “You wan carry your babe go out, abi? I can go to Nedu’s place for the night though, if you want some privacy after your date so y’all can do some kpanashing.” There was a lecherous grin on his face as he moved his hips in a sexual mime.

Ehis laughed as he picked up his phone from where he dropped it. He couldn’t stop a mental eye-roll as he wondered if he could exchange this persistently wanton David for the churchy David.

David continued, “You can’t even say thank you. You know how I hardly let anyone use my browser or my data.”

“Or touch your phone,” Ehis added, very aware of how protective David was of his phone. “I no kuku know wetin you dey hide for inside the phone sef,” he added mockingly.

“Be there making mouth. I will soon collect the phone from you,” David said as he went into the kitchen to fix some cereal for himself.

Ehis proceeded to David’s browser, grateful for the silence that his friend’s temporary departure had afforded him. His mind was beginning to drift towards Xavier again, so much that he absentmindedly typed ‘X’ in the search bar, instead of ‘S’ for ‘Showtimes’. He shook his head, as though to clear it of the wool as he thought about how a man he barely knew had the power to make him so distracted.

He refocused on the phone screen and was going to cancel the ‘X’ when he saw a dropdown of the list of recently visited sites with address links starting with ‘X’. And for the second time that morning, a wave of shock slammed into him.

The shock didn’t come as a result of the XNXX porn site he was looking at on the phone screen. Of course, he was not surprised that David was interested in pornography. He was however stunned because of the gay XNXX link that had dropped down in view on the phone screen.

In that very moment, David had walked up behind him and seen what he was looking at and swiftly snatched the phone from his hand.

“It’s not what you think,” he blurted out at Ehis, a very stricken expression on his face.

As Ehis stared back at him, he didn’t even know what to think.

Written by Bryan Peters