Human beings are really very unimaginative. We live in a world where people want everything to be in black and white. But Nature herself displays a contrary opinion high up in the sky for all to see through the colours of the rainbow. Variety, they say is the spice of life. But we obviously prefer it plain and probably tasteless.

Now concerning sexuality, I was brought up to believe that a boy should like a girl and that’s how it should be. And so the expectation was that one day, boy meets girl, then boy falls in love with girl . . .

And the boy walks into the sunset, and lives happily ever after, hand in hand with a boy


(The Nigerian equivalent of ‘huh?’). At this point, the director screams with a feverish rage like his life depended on it: CUT! CUT! CUT! Oh! So a boy with boy sexuality is possible?

This is how grey emerged, and the world of black and white crumbed forever.

Now it has become, its either you like a girl or you like a boy. Some believe it’s either you are gay or not and that bisexuals are just confused pretenders. Some believe that bisexuals truly exist and that that there can be differences in the QUANTITY, degree or magnitude of preference for either sex, some preferring male and others prefer female. In addition to this, I think that it’s possible that for bisexuals, there could also be differences in not just the QUANTITY of attraction but also a difference in QUALITY. I think when we begin to give room for all these differences, we approach the intrinsic “rainbow pattern” of nature.

Now since “no be only me waka come” (think Dame Jonathan), I want to know what you all think about all what I have said. THE QUESTION is:

How do the gay, bi and straight person differ ON THE INSIDE?

What do you think?

Asked by Sensuous Sensei

Previous JAMES’ JOURNAL (Entry 3)
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  1. kendigin
    June 09, 07:29 Reply

    I was jst talking to my baby yday abt sexuality. He believes pple r either gay, str8 or simply living in denial.
    As for me, I see sexuality as a plain. At one end is str8 and @ the other is gay. Humans fall either in-between or at the extremes. I mean ur either completely gay, completely str8, a lil gay or a lil str8. No one is “better” or “holier” than the other. Sexuality is a part of being human.
    The only advantage str8 pple have (and y it became the most popular of the sexes) is bcos it was the only sure way to procreate. And procreation is a powerful tool, jst ask any woman “still believing God” for fruit of the womb!

    • pinkpanthertb
      June 09, 07:36 Reply

      Hahahahaahaa!!! @still believing God for fruit of the womb.
      Oh Ken, sometimes I just love your brilliance. And you’re right. I’m with you there, on the part about extremes and those in the middle. There’s either black or white, and a lot of gray in the middle.

  2. Chizzie
    June 09, 08:17 Reply

    Ehhmmmmm so all I’m going to say is, PinkPanther I really hope u post something else today.

    *drops bag and walks out of room slamming door viciously*

    • CeeCee
      June 09, 08:56 Reply

      Hahahahhahahaaa …. Chizzie.!! You bitch!!! Without saying anything, you have said sooo much! This one ma real JAMB question and am eager to see other comments following which I will further comment.
      Sexuality is extremely fluid and veru difficult to fully understand. Like Kendigin I agree with the Kinsey (abi na McKinsey) scale which describes sexuality aa ranging from gay to straight with a wide spectrum of sexual preferences existing in between. And yes, none is superior or inferior as is the case with skin color, eye color, race, etc. Unfortunately, humans being who/what they are, have found reason to treat some as inferior & repugnant. As for differences, there are a lot of similarities and differences bw gay, bi and str8 pple, this is because sexuality being a very powerful force has very profound consequences on several spheres of an individual’s life … more to come as my thoughts unfold

      • alpha papi
        June 10, 22:40 Reply

        Oga… no skin color or race is superior to d other!!we r all equal in God’s eyes.

  3. therealsalte
    June 09, 08:55 Reply

    I fully believe that all human have some level gayness in them. A man is either gay or straight but our willingness to experiment can make us taste both sides; while some will end up choosing one others will just want to keep on tasting both ‘pots of soup’. A certain study even proves that a straight man sometimes crave to be with his fellow man in a way that can be sexual. So I fully agree that even the black and white has a lot of gray on them not just between them.

  4. @LanreSwagg
    June 09, 08:58 Reply

    Since I am a scientist, let me offer you the research of Karl Jung & Sigmund Freud, the fathers of psychoanalysis and studies of human sexuality. They said that sexuality is a spectrum. At one end, 100% straight , at the other end 100% gay. All of us are somewhere along that line. In science, most distributions are skewed to the middle – the word ‘ average’ is taken from this idea – I mean to say that most humans have a bit of both. Mr A could be 60% straight while Mr B is 10% straight and so on. It also implies that people who are completely straight or gay are the minority. Note also that even if you are biologically wired to be capable of any type of sexuality, what you choose to explore and express is a different matter – it is a complex mix of circumstances, upbringing, culture , opportunity, religious influence, etc.

    The social studies of sexuality also include something called ‘Identity’. What does a person call himself or herself? So a person may be a gay bottom but’ identify’ as gay versatile … or be gay and say they are bisexual. It’s a complex field of study.

    Bisexual people exist- and that itself is another spectrum. Do they like both sexes the same? Or usually, one more than the other…

    It is better to study fact than to speculate, though the debate about sexual issues will continue for as long as human beings are the complex and sex-shy species that we are…

  5. kendigin
    June 09, 14:55 Reply

    Pinkpanther! Pinkpather!! Pinkpanther!!!
    How many times I call u?
    U no wan put my own write up abi?
    Chai! Diariz God ooooo

  6. sensuousensei
    June 10, 11:48 Reply

    Sorry if you were bored by my question. But its a very important question and the answers are even more important because what we need now at our level of evolution is a better understanding of sexuality. Homophobia exists because sexuality is not understood. Now it is our personalised answers that will equip us with knowledge with which to speak to people and educate them about sexuality. No one will come from heaven to teach about sexual preference. And we who have preferences that differ from the majority and suffer as a result, are more likely to be intrigued by this question (or so I expected). Anywayz, being bisexual, I find that my attraction to either sex differs not just in degree but in TYPE or QUALITY. This is not a question of “good” or “bad”. Rather, I’m just trying to understand as many variants of the rainbow that exist. Now putting this difference in quality down on paper is something I find it difficult to do in words. I still don’t understand it fully. And I was hoping for you to tell me about the unique nature of your own preferences.

  7. I am in love with this blog. Please dont stop. I think we need this right ow in Nigeria with all the crap that is going on. Thank you for this gift. I am so grateful

    • pinkpanthertb
      June 12, 03:32 Reply

      Thanks a lot, Harper. By God’s grace, we’ll keep at it.

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