Waka Pass Diaries (Guilty Until Proven Innocent)

December 2

Some of the complaints I get from guys who have been victimized by opportunistic gay men really have me shaking my head like: Whaddafuck is wrong with you?

Someone recently buzzed me to lament about how a guy he had over at his house for a hookup vanished from his place early the next morning with his laptop, phone and some money.

Now, here’s the kicker. This thief he took in had already been “displaying” earlier on. He came over during the day with the understanding that he would spend the night. And so, they shagged. Then the guy started acting up about how he expects to be paid. Raising his voice and being dramatic. So, then the host calmed him down, and they carried on spending time in each other’s company, until nighttime, when there was more sex, then sleep, then the host woke up to find himself robbed.

See ehn, it takes the littlest things to trigger me when it comes to people. Especially new people entering my life. Even more especially new gay people entering my life. I know this is an unfair and malignant generalization, but I’ve read enough stories and listened to enough woebegone narratives to set my mind on “guilty until proven innocent” when it’s regarding gay people who are new to my personal space. Especially when they come on hookup levels.

I’ve had hookups come to my place and say they were hungry, and knowing that I’d have to go all the way out to buy food for them (I don’t cook), I asked them to accompany me. If I’m going to go out there to get you food, you’re damn well going to experience the same inconvenience. No way am I leaving you in my house by yourself.

I’ve had friends wanting to obtain my key so they’d bring hookups to my place when I’m out, and I said no. Not because I don’t trust them, but because I don’t trust who they’re bringing to mine, especially in my absence.

I’ve shut down potential hookups on the WhatsApp chat level, simply because they started acting up and giving off “I’m a lot to handle” vibes.

I remember hooking up with a guy who dropped by around 7 pm with the understanding that he’d spend the night, and I asked him to leave after the sex, because I couldn’t trust him with the vulnerability of me being asleep with him in the room.

And with every kito story involving gay men setting fellow gay men up that comes up on Kito Diaries, I subconsciously feel my levels of distrust increase.

So, for a guy to come to my place and start being dramatic and aggressively loud, like he has no respect for this struggle for safety that all gay men in Nigeria share… My dear, we’d be done at once! No way am I trusting such a person in my space one more second, let alone enough to fall asleep next to him.

Because any gay Nigerian who behaves like he neither understands, respects nor holds any regard for the need for us to be safe and secure in this homophobic country is NOT to be trusted.

Written by Pink Panther