A Mother’s Choice To Love

A Mother’s Choice To Love

In a Facebook update, Bunmi Tella talks about the woman she was as a born-again Christian and the woman she later chose to be.

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When I was a born-again Christian nothing made me more uncomfortable than the party line on homosexuality.

Hate the sin but not the sinner.

And also the pressure to convert. It felt so disrespectful to go up to someone and say, “Yo! You are serving the wrong god. Come serve mine because that’s the only way to make heaven.”

I had just started working as a professional in the US, and HR was working overtime to make the workplace safe for EVERYONE!

And here I was, a born-again Christian supposedly filled with love but spewing intolerant bullshit. I did not like who I was. I saw that we with our spirit-filled bullshit were the actual problem, while talking shit about the world prosecuting us.

Looking back now, it was pure insanity.

One bible verse would not stop echoing in my head though.

How can you love me who you do not see but cannot love your brother standing in front of you?

I decided I would no longer spew that insulting, condescending and false party line about hating the sin and not the sinner. In this instance, the two are the same.

I am so glad I found the courage to choose love over intolerance and bigotry. It was not easy. It took a good 10 years.

But later, when my son came out as gay, I wondered how I would have reacted if I was still in that place. Would I be praying and fasting it away? Telling him to go to conversion therapy? Forcing him to lie about who he was to be accepted?

I shudder at the thought.

Tufiakwa!

When my son came out, we damn near threw a party. Every member of the family was progressive and had absolutely no issue with it whatsoever.

Which is exactly what my amazing son deserved.

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3 Comments

  1. Richiemichie
    August 31, 22:14 Reply

    Last hear I eavesdropped on my mom’s conversation with a neighbor on homosexuality, that’s when I decided to get a stronger lock for my closet.

    I’m always jealous of peeps with accepting parents.

    • Mafiaso
      September 02, 16:39 Reply

      I hope she becomes progressive someday, and love you for who you are. Family always know.

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