FUCK ME!

FUCK ME!

He was not the hottest, or the tallest, or the most cerebral. He was just a man who knew how to use his words. Eventually, however, those were all he had. Words. Let’s go back a bit.

Chats with Steven were fluid and effortless. He had a lot to say about work and his multiple boyfriends, with whom, it seemed, he was always involved in a breakup story at any given time. He had a lot to say about his travels. He had a lot to say about his religion. He had a lot to say about sex. He had a lot to say.

Steven was a very sexual man. Our chats always ended up with him telling me things he would love to do to my nipples, my lips, my dick, and my ass. Especially my ass. He would wax poetic about techniques he would use on my ass. How he would curve his tongue upwards as he rimmed me because – in his words – “you will feel sooooo damn good, baby! You will beg me to fucking shove my cock inside your boy-pussy and tear you up.”

He turned me on, I will not lie. I love talking dirty, and in Steven, I had found a soul mate.

He loved talking about how he would take me. How I would worship his “man-shaft” and drool all over the bed as he pounds my ass so long and so hard that I would be near-catatonic. As a vers-leaning-top, I was not all that enthusiastic, but the pictures he painted! My god! I was wet with anticipation.

Colossal

/kəˈlɒs(ə)l/  – extremely large or great.

Steven was like a pornstar on that day. No, Steven WAS a pornstar. A black, gay pornstar. He spoke like one. He acted like one. He kissed like one. “You’re my black bitch, boy. Your ass is so damn foine, niggur! Bitch, you got the fattest ass I’ve seen in my damn life!” All in a Black-American accent.

We were caught up in the lust of it all, so I managed to disregard the theatrics, looking forward to a good dicking. Niggur got me in the mood to take dick.

But you see, Steven may have spoken, acted and kissed like a pornstar – but Steven did not fuck like a pornstar. No, Steven did not fuck like a pornstar. Steven did not fuck at all.

Disappointment

/dɪsəˈpɔɪntm(ə)nt/

  1. sadness or displeasure caused by the non-fulfillment of one’s hopes or expectations.
  2. a person or thing that causes disappointment.

He got me in position, on my back with my legs up in the air.

Oya now, ram your cock inside my ass… Ok, since it’s not that hard, slowly slide it in… No? Okay, wiggle it in, maybe it will become hard on its way… No? Oya lemme wank you small and do stuff so you’ll get erect…. No? Wait, you’re still talking about how you’re going to pound me? You’re still spewing your now-that-I-think-about-it-they’re-probably-rehearsed-lines from porn flicks? Nna, ogini na-eme gi? What is wrong with you? You are still making mouth? Ogbeni, fucking be humble! Okay nah, turn around let me top you, it’s probably not your day. You say what? You don’t bottom? You only pound sweet asses? Wait oh, you’re still acting porn with me? Gi na onye? Oga, biko dress up and leave my house.

I recall a video a couple of weeks ago about a man being delivered of a demon that gave him a constant erection. And now, I say a little prayer, for Steven and his next conquest: every spirit of erection that was troubling the young man in the Instagram video, I beg you, in the name of the most high, transfer yourself to Steven. Biko, oh, umu ajo mmuo? Oh thee evil spirits!

Please. Steven needs you in his life.

Please.

Amen.

Written by Eggsy

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28 Comments

  1. Colossus
    October 22, 06:02 Reply

    ??????? flaccid dick can be a real bitch.

  2. lluvmua
    October 22, 07:37 Reply

    pinkie look at pishure you are using on a cold Sunday morning ??? hian just well-done…… now you are making me to size pastors shaft with my eyes ?

    • trystham
      October 22, 08:33 Reply

      Ashawo!!! Better hit ur bible and say ‘NO!’

    • Pink Panther
      October 22, 08:42 Reply

      Just lookatyew. So if Angel Michael asks you on judgement day who made you go to hell because you had refused to touch not his anointed with your eyes, you’ll say it’s Pinky, abi? ??

      • Foxydevil
        October 22, 09:49 Reply

        ????? seeing pinky joke is kind of refreshing.
        Most times I think you’re too serious. ?
        Or you just reserve that attitude for me??
        Reply my mail na, beauty.

      • Foxydevil
        October 22, 10:16 Reply

        Pinkish beauty :

        I don’t need a cupcake or cream
        A doughnut or hot pie
        Blazing cream
        Or sausage
        Salivating or tempting

        I don’t need honey or vinegar
        Its soothing ember
        Or callous cackle
        In my jaw or taste bud
        Giving me warmth and satisfaction.

        I don’t need Santa’s shoes
        Or coat
        Covering my cold feet
        As I dry my legs beneath the fire
        My reality detached
        My heart perturbed.

        All I want for Christmas is you ?
        .

        Reply me na!
        You know how I get when you ignore me. ?

  3. Foxydevil
    October 22, 07:55 Reply

    ???????
    Mouthed people, fear them.
    All talk no action.
    Funny story though.

  4. trystham
    October 22, 08:37 Reply

    Well, did u ‘worship his man-shaft’? Maybe, just maybe, u didn’t well enough and get him all fired up. Wanking might just not be enough

  5. BRYAN PETERS
    October 22, 09:05 Reply

    Chai this picture and the title thoughv hot AF! The flaccid dick that refused to stand; SMH big disappointment

  6. BRYAN PETERS
    October 22, 09:07 Reply

    And BTW, this picture looks familiar. *flipping through my xvideo porn stash

    • Mandy
      October 22, 09:19 Reply

      ??? I already flipped. That ass belongs to Ridder Rivera.

      • dreq
        October 22, 12:40 Reply

        woah,seriously you know him? got like four of his porn and I want more abeg

        • Pink Panther
          October 22, 14:06 Reply

          Go to myvidster.com and download to your heart’s content. 🙂

    • cedar
      October 23, 22:58 Reply

      Jah Jehovah Emmanuel!!!

      And he shall say to those at the center, “depart from me, you that recognize pornstars from the back.”

      Nna I duff cap for una, I still be learner.

  7. Mandy
    October 22, 09:20 Reply

    ???????? This story cracked me up big time. Imagine cinema box office flop of the highest order.

  8. Francis
    October 22, 10:14 Reply

    *sigh* people need to stop talking and show themselves when it really matters

  9. Ken George
    October 22, 10:38 Reply

    Probably just wasnt his day. Many things can make a man lose erection and sorry to say, the writer acted childish. You dont bruise a man’s ego and still expect him to perform. If its not responding then you just need to take some out. Sex starts and ends with the brain. He may have other things on his mind or probably just over excited or over anxious. Wbatever it is, patience and empathy are key.

  10. Lopez
    October 22, 11:17 Reply

    Ridder Rivera and Chucho Martins of course. Eggsy, may be the flaccid dick is u not him… u didn’t do enough to make it stand, you’re not attractive enough, ur house is not conducive… just saying though.

  11. Max
    October 22, 11:21 Reply

    Today is Sunday o

    • Pink Panther
      October 22, 11:58 Reply

      I know. And we are preaching the gospel of humility and a good dicking. 😀

  12. Mitch
    October 22, 11:39 Reply

    Lawd!
    Flaccid dick is a major disappointment.
    Embarrassing sontin laidat.

  13. Delle
    October 22, 12:09 Reply

    Has anyone noticed that PP only puts up such raunchy posts on Sundays?
    Jeez! This was off the hook.

    But I still want to make heaven, so I’m going to act like I didn’t just read about a man who could fuck more with his mouth than his dick! ????

  14. Lopez
    October 22, 13:28 Reply

    what is about the Sunday?

  15. quinn
    October 22, 14:11 Reply

    Funny how you know porn stars so well ??. No excuses but the guy was a total disappointment

  16. pablo
    October 22, 20:12 Reply

    Forgot what I wanted to type. But why was this posted on TMIN? You want homophobes yo know this site?

    • Rehoboth
      October 22, 20:32 Reply

      This is not the first KD article to be posted on TMIN. Homophobes know about this site but most of their comments are not approved.

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