K’osidim n’obi (Entry 9)

K’osidim n’obi (Entry 9)

So this month marked the ninth month anniversary of bae and I being together. It hasn’t always been a smooth ride of course. There are days when you’d seriously look back at when you were single and realise how much easier things were, and other days when you seriously cannot imagine how you ever lived without him.

So something ghastly happened to me last week and I just couldn’t resist sharing.

Okay, so I got into a little scrape – as I always do; my friends call me “calamity magnet”. I lost my Fidelity Bank ATM card in the middle of a crowded marketplace. It was the only account I had cash in at the time so I had to call up Bae for quick assistance. For some reason, he couldn’t use his mobile app to transfer directly into my empty Diamond Bank account and had to go to the bank to pay it in on the other side of town. I stood in the small slightly-crowded bank building with the long row of ATM machines, waiting for the alert that’d signify that he had paid in the money. An hour went by and I was starting to get impatient. I dialed his number and listened to the ring-back tune I always found irritating till the call ended without a response. I was beginning to get offended. I fleetingly thought about how long it would take me to trek the usually thirty-minute distance (by bus ride o!) home. Quickly passing it off as impossible, I moved to dial Bae’s number again only to see an incoming call from him. I answered it while trying to steady my temper. And that was when it happened.

I don’t know if my cheek pressed against the loudspeaker icon, or if my village people were simply playing the ogene with my destiny, but in a second, Bae’s baritone filled the small quiet ATM room filled with up to six different users.

“Baby mi,” his voice reverberated, “I’m so, so sorry. The line at the bank is horrible. My love, just hang on a bit for me, okay? It’ll be in soon, inugo? I love you.”

I froze. The other customers froze. The world froze. My fingers were too stiff even to end the call.

“Baby… Baby, are you there?” the treacherous baritone called again. “Nna, can you hear me?”

I found my senses and fumbled with the phone, ending the call immediately. I stared at the phone screen, unable to collect my senses enough to look up. Eventually, I did. I finally lifted my head and the other people in the room all looked away quickly, finding random places to focus their stares on.

In a minute, the alert came in. I punched at the keys on the ATM machine, feeling the sweat trickle down my back as my phone rang in my hand. Probably Bae calling again to find out if I’d received the alert. Robotically I took the cash and moved to walk out.

I had gone a few steps when – “Hey! Excuse me!”

I stopped in my tracks and turned a face that to the rest of the world must have looked cold and calculated to the caller, whereas inside I was frozen, iced out, shriveled up. I turned to face the young man who’d called out to me.

“You forgot your card,” he said, handing me the green square plastic.

“Thank you.” My voice came sounding chipped, a little too curt. Maybe I should have offered a small smile or a nod. That’d be the polite thing to do.

Instead, I turned and walked out of the small building whose cool interior did nothing to relieve my shirt from being plastered to my back with sweat.

Written by Kainene

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31 Comments

  1. Gad
    September 29, 05:03 Reply

    Eya. I quite understand how ashamed you felt though I don’t see the reason why you should feel so. If I can call my sisters and sons baby and not feel ashamed, you also don’t have to. It could be your Dad or anybody calling you baby. Besides, there are women whose voices sounds more baritone like masculine mach men just as we have men with soft feminine voices eg Peter Obi ,the immediate past governor of Anambra state. Let’s stop punishing ourselves unnecessary.

    • Yazz Soltana
      September 30, 14:09 Reply

      Okay oo, be using style to teach him lies and excuses…. .

      • Gad
        October 01, 03:23 Reply

        Teach him lies? How?

  2. himbo
    September 29, 06:23 Reply

    I’m getting 2nd hand embarrassment.

      • Tdawg
        October 04, 17:29 Reply

        I’m reading this at the office and I FROZE! like it was me..
        I’m in Canada but even here e get as e be

  3. Rapum
    September 29, 07:18 Reply

    Eya, ndo. Next time, collect yourself, stand tall and put on a haughty, I-am-the-queen-of-England face, and say, “Thank you, love.”

  4. Bloom
    September 29, 08:09 Reply

    It’s kinda funny though. But do as Rapum said, next time. Add a weave flick

  5. Colossus
    September 29, 08:46 Reply

    😆😆😍😍😍 Embarrassingly adorable. At the end you’ve got someone who got your back, that’s the main deal.

  6. Wiffey
    September 29, 09:14 Reply

    My annoyance was the fact that you didn’t own the moments, moments like that are the time to stand tall and above it. You simply just told everyone you you are guilty of something and you are very ashamed of it as if it’s their business who calls your phone in the first place.

  7. Troy
    September 29, 09:55 Reply

    I’m dead!! That wasn’t the best damage control biko. Hahahaha

  8. xoxo
    September 29, 10:57 Reply

    It’s funny why u froze o, I call my best friend boo boo even when we are in class or outside, who wants to die can go and jump off 3rd mainland bridge…

  9. Mitch
    September 29, 13:05 Reply

    This is the kinda embarrassment that one needs, I swear.
    Chuck up your self confidence, darling. You’d find it’d help you a lot in situations like this

  10. Foxydevil
    September 29, 15:25 Reply

    All I can gather from this story is that your BAE is a man worth keeping.
    Hold him tight.
    As for baby , I see no big deal in it.
    Lots of straight people call me baby or Asa…. No one makes a big deal of it, no one cares.
    They might not have even heard anything.

    • trystham
      September 29, 20:22 Reply

      Of course u wud. “Its all about the money money money…”

      • Gad
        September 29, 21:17 Reply

        Nna, that’s how cheap some people have become. That’s why members of the community keeps blackmailing and. Setting up themselves for money

        • Foxydevil
          September 29, 21:40 Reply

          Lol, don’t confuse me for your reflection in the mirror. Cheap trashy people think everyone alike.
          People who get themselves in such situations are people like you that hook up from some cheap ass app or via messenger.
          If you value yourself ,people won’t have a choice than to do the same.
          But someone like you, with no value, self worth or self esteem, who would wanna spend a penny on something so disposable? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
          You are lucky you are getting dicked for free, enjoy it and don’t forget to show your gratitude to that merciful man undertaking such a horrendous task.

          • trystham
            September 30, 02:03 Reply

            Loooool. Unless u av premium accts on the regular gay date sites we all av used/are using (very unlikely sef), u sound nothing more than a tart…who still hasn’t gone international. October is ur month of breakthrough and bursting forth.

            • foxydevil
              September 30, 07:52 Reply

              tart?
              Don’t confuse me for the whore that birthed a nonentity like you 😁😁😁😁.
              And no I don’t do premium, neither do I date people online.
              I meet people, you know that’s an option right, meeting people face to face ?
              And considering the fact that I have had less lovers my entire life than the number of people you’ve slept with this week and more to show for it, I wonder who is dearly in need of a break through. Hahahaha hahahahahaha

              • trystham
                September 30, 10:44 Reply

                You would definitely do a lot of ‘face-to-face meetings’. To think I had even thot to up ur game sef. Where’s ur spot? Allen? Isaac John?

                OAN I will now pretend not to notice ur reference to my birth channel but it sure is just as well crystal clear how and where u inherited ur obvious lack of self-respect. All that shamelessness has got to go in somewhere. That is me showing a bit of restraint. Don’t push it

          • Gad
            September 30, 06:46 Reply

            Will idiots ever go extinct?. Just thinking…

            • foxydevil
              September 30, 08:00 Reply

              clearly not, I mean who picks a name like “Gad”
              sounds like someone gagging on a dick. 😁😁😁
              imagine someone had a potential hook up and he turns around and says his name is GAD…..

              • Blaine
                September 30, 11:16 Reply

                You are a bully who has no real power in the real world. You try so hard to sound intelligent but you mostly fail at this. At other times, you imagine you are on Comedy Central but what you don’t see is your jokes are bland at best and utterly boring at worst.
                Your attempts at creating an illusion of affluence is pathetic. What apps have you invented that aren’t ‘cheap ass’? Your preference for organic hookups does not diminish the average Joe’s love of internet based hookups. I think you are most brilliant when you keep your obnoxious opinions to yourself.

        • Foxydevil
          October 03, 06:37 Reply

          Lol, don’t worry on my behalf, even if they are hundred, I will finish them all.

  11. Gad
    October 03, 01:30 Reply

    I never knew that guys from rich families also do sex for money but I know that real wealth is not noisy but is classy, responsible and noble in character.

    • Foxydevil
      October 03, 06:35 Reply

      Like you know anything at all?
      Gad the son of Asher.

      • Gad
        October 03, 08:15 Reply

        Gad knows nothing but he knows how cheap it is to use the size of a man,s pocket as a yardstick for deciding to date him. He knows that being a rent boy is an exclusive reserve of shameless, hungry, and greedy idiots who has no regard for their self-worth or that of their families

    • Foxydevil
      October 03, 06:39 Reply

      Tell that to Floyd Mayweather ,who is richer than everyone from whatever remote village you sprang up from. He is rich and noisy .
      Don’t make consolation speeches to suit your deprived life, buckle up and go make some cash. Ode.
      Next time be prepared when you try to come for me.

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