THE BEYSPIRACIES: 15 Wild Rumours About Beyoncé

Originally published on madamenoire.com

Since the early days of Destiny’s Child, Beyoncé has always been the subject of gossip, rumors, and conspiracy theories. As her popularity has grown, the speculation has become more comical and ridiculous in scope. A new unauthorized biography, Becoming Beyoncé: The Untold Story, has sent the rumor mill into overdrive. From falsified birth certificates to alleged fake pregnancies, let’s look at some of the most popular and ludicrous Beyoncé rumors.

SOLANGE IS HER DAUGHTER, AND TINA IS HER SISTER.

At first sight, this rumor seems ridiculous. Beyoncé and Solange are a little less than five years apart in age, so that would be medically impossible. But for some conspiracists, age ain’t nothing but a number on a forged birth certificate. The theory goes, Beyoncé was born sometime in 1974, which means that she had an early start and got pregnant around her 11th birthday, and her parents decided to raise Solange as their child. While people may go to some lengths to cover up family secrets, it took a massive hater to cook this one up and get it circulating.

Then to put the cherry on top, since Bey doesn’t look much like Mathew Knowles but Solange does, people have claimed that perhaps Solange is Bey and Mathew’s child, and Tina Knowles Lawson is Beyoncé’s sister, who stepped in to take care of the situation for her baby sister. Who comes up with this stuff?!

SHE IS BLEACHING HER SKIN.

All through YouTube, Twitter, and even Facebook, social media has been rife with allegations that 2015 Beyoncé looks a whole lot lighter than 2000 Beyoncé. Side-by-side comparisons have been created, pinpointing changes in her skin tone. Even dermatologists have gone on record to say that they believe her skin has lightened over time. But who knows how reputable any of those dermatologists were? There are other things to take into account when judging a person’s appearance via picture: Makeup and lighting can play a bigger role than people think, not to mention the fact that photos of her as a child show that she has always had fair skin.

SHE HAD JOAN RIVERS KILLED.

This one is a doozy. So first, Joan Rivers sent out a tweet in August 2014 that read: “A man reportedly got his finger bitten off at a Beyoncé concert! The shocking twist: It wasn’t Jay Z’s finger and it wasn’t by Solange.”

One week later, Rivers passed away on September 4, Beyoncé’s birthday. So the Beyspiracists got to work. Joan Rivers was born in 1933 and Beyoncé turned 33 on the day Rivers died. Furthermore, Rivers was 81 and Bey was born in 1981. So the world’s largest conspiratorial reach was made, and the gossip mill decided that the elusive Illuminati orchestrated Rivers’ death as a sacrifice for her salacious tweet.

SHE PHOTOSHOPS EVERYTHING.

This may be the one rumor that holds the most ground in reality. Most public figures in the entertainment industry do some type of quality control when it comes to the images that are released to the public. Bey is no different. The vigilant photoshop police were in full patrol when a picture from the singer’s Instagram was revealed to be warped between her legs. It meant that she, or someone from her team, was using an eraser tool to slim out her thighs and leave a thigh gap.

SHE HAD BEEF WITH JENNIFER HUDSON.

It was rumored that Beyoncé was furious at all the attention that Jennifer Hudson received for her role as Effie White in Dreamgirls. The gossip mill believes that to restore the balance to her universe, Bey made sure to drop the fact that she had nine Grammys under her belt at that time in nearly every press interview she did for the movie.

SHE IS A TOP-TIER MEMBER OF THE ILLUMINATI.

Since her rise from the ranks of Destiny’s Child, Beyspiracists everywhere have claimed that Beyoncé’s success is based purely on her membership in the secret organization that runs the world. They point out examples of Bey’s membership status in her affinity for throwing up the diamond hand signal (also the Roc-A-fella sign) during most performances.

BEYONCÉ AND OBAMA ARE THE NEW FITZ AND OLIVIA.

One of the wildest rumors on the Bey circuit is that she is having an affair with President Barack Obama. Allegedly, Michelle Obama is doing everything she can to protect her marriage from the pop superstar. To this we say, ya’ll tried it. Aside from her performances during a few of their most significant moments, there does not seem to be a single strand of evidence that the Obamas and the Knowles-Carters spend much time together, let alone that Bey and President Obama are anything but supporters of each other.

BEY WAS POSSESSED–OR HIGH–AT A BROOKLYN NETS GAME.

Footage of Beyoncé swaying back and forth to no apparent music courtside at an NBA game led to rumors that she was either possessed or high as a kite. In the video, Beyoncé has a brief conversation with her husband, Jay Z, and then a thousand-yard stare consumes her as she slowly sways to and fro.

THE ELEVATOR FIGHT CONSPIRACIES.

There are at least five different rumors about the infamous elevator fight:

Solange was mad at Jay Z for wanting to go to Rihanna’s afterparty alone.

Solange was mad that he hit on Rachel Roy.

Solange was off her meds and Beyoncé released the footage to get her to go to treatment.

The fight was a publicity stunt to spark interest in the ‘On the Run’ tour.

Solange was drunk and got rowdy after he disrespected her sister.

The world will never know what happened in the elevator but it did spark major interest in everyone involved.

SHE WAS NEVER PREGNANT.

The biggest rumor around Beyoncé is undoubtedly about whether or not she was ever pregnant. There were many different rationales behind this rumor.

Her stomach appearing to fold in a now infamous video during an international interview.

She didn’t want to ruin her body so they arranged for a surrogate to carry Blue. (It is believed in some circles that Solange was the surrogate.)

Some believe that Beyoncé and Jay couldn’t get pregnant so they took on a hidden child that Mathew Knowles had with another woman so that they could finally be parents.

The floor of the hospital where she had the baby was shut down and nobody ever saw her enter or exit.

She didn’t gain weight in the “correct places” and wore stilettos when she was eight months along.

Her post-baby body snapped back too quickly.

In any case, Blue is their child (and the perfect fusion of both parents), she is healthy and happy, and that’s all that matters.

SHE TAMPERED WITH THE MICS AT THE SUPER BOWL.

They just couldn’t let Beyoncé shine after her awesome performance at Super Bowl XLVII without accusing her of hating on Michelle Williams and Kelly Rowland. During their joint appearance near the end of Beyoncé’s Super Bowl halftime show, Williams and Rowland appeared to be working the stage and bringing the vocals, though their mics were definitely not as loud as Beyoncé’s. Given that it was Bey’s show, it’s not too out there to imagine why her mic would be louder. But what would she personally have to gain from turning their mics down?

BEYONCÉ WAS NOT BORN ON SEPTEMBER 4, 1981.

Much like President Obama, Beyoncé, too, has to deal with birth certificate rumors. Most Beyspiracists are on a mission to convince the world that Beyoncé is lying about her age. Alongside an allegedly leaked birth record that supposedly claims Beyoncé was born in 1974, they have a growing list of examples: Recently, Mathew Knowles claimed that Bey was the same age as Pink and Usher. While he probably meant age range, Beyoncé truthers took this and ran. Then there’s the rumor that started it all: Gabrielle Union did an interview in 2008 and mentioned that she and Beyoncé had been friends since they were teenagers. Union is nine years older than Beyoncé.

SHE DOESN’T WRITE HER OWN MUSIC.

You haven’t made it as a pop star until an angry public declares that you have no hand in creating your own work. It is no surprise that people go after Beyoncé for this “atrocity” all the time. While Bey never claims to write all of her work, she plays some hand in the crafting of the songs and is usually featured as a co-writer in most of her catalog’s liner notes. When Ne-Yo went on record saying that he had written all of the lyrics to “Irreplaceable” after Bey was caught telling concertgoers that she had written the song for all her female fans, her naysayers had a field day.

RIHANNA AND BEYONCÉ HAVE BEEF.

Rihanna and Beyoncé have a few things in common, but the one that has caused them to be linked together maliciously is Jay Z. It has long been rumored that Jay Z took an immediate liking to Rihanna from way back in the “Pon de Replay” days when she first signed to Roc-A-Fella. The rumors continue to thrive as Bey and Rihanna are rarely pictured together, and when they are, like during the Tidal press conference, they look less than amused. It is also suspicious that Bey, who has collaborated with everyone from Drake to Nicki Minaj and Shakira, has managed to avoid ever cutting a record with one of the hottest pop stars in the world, who just so happens to be on her husband’s label.

SHE HATES KIM KARDASHIAN.

This rumor has really gone full steam ahead since they attended the same fashion show, sitting next to one another to support Kanye West’s collaboration with Adidas. Bey was photographed barely looking in Kim Kardashian’s direction on numerous occasions, even when North West was having a tantrum on the reality star’s lap. The rumor here is one of the few that may have been started by the Beyhive, who would rather their queen have nothing to do with Kanye’s opportunistic wife.