Dear KD: Does The Gaydar Really Exist?
I am a closeted gay man. And the only way I have been able to hook up has been online. But I am looking for more organic hookups, starting off friendships with men in real life. But my gaydar skills are terrible. I have no way of knowing which men surrounding me are gay or not. More so, it kind of feels mortifying to me whenever I’m amongst my friends and they randomly point out passersby who are queer while I wonder in silence how they are able to tell. It’s an enviable trait, I must admit.
When a friend of mine referred to his gaydar as him being blessed with the eye of the gods, I knew I just had to find out. From a bothered gay man, is gaydar a thing? And if so, how can I get mine to start working?
Submitted by Cupid
About author
You might also like
Dear KD: What Do I Do About The Man I Love From Afar?
Sometime last year, I met this guy on Grindr. It was supposed to be a hookup, no strings attached, because he doesn’t live in Nigeria. But one thing led to
Dear KD: I Have A Question About Finding Love
How do guys find love, what with the harsh climes we live in? I always did wonder, because I hear of friends and stories of people finding love, hooking up
Dear KD: He Is My Best Friend, And He Hates That I’m Gay
I have (had) a best friend, who I also happened to have a massive crush on. But in all the time of our friendship, I have managed to keep my
21 Comments
Absalom
May 13, 07:02Just knack it on your palm three or four times then switch it on again. If that doesn’t work, it may be battery.
Don’t mind me! ?
Bain
May 13, 07:44????
Francis
May 13, 08:14Useless ????
Poster, abeg gaydar is overrated and should not be tested in certain places especially Naija. No go kito ya sef oh
BRYAN PETERS
June 07, 22:15Like seriously????? Lmaooo ?????
Gad
May 13, 07:21Very simple!. Fast for 3 days after which you go to the nearest cemetery and spend the night there. Identify a male grave and sit on it. Once it’s 1am, make whatever wishes you desire. In this case ability to identify a gay, tell the last person he slept with. NB: your wishes must not exceed 3. Once it’s 4am, you are free to go home.
Bain
May 13, 07:47Well, I was able to identify gay guys outside social media,when I started meeting more gay people in real life. Now I can practically enter a room and map out all the gay people there. Sometimes,I could get unsure.
Trust me,gaydar is useless. Best way is to just ask.
Johnny
May 13, 08:07My gaydar is 90% effective. I can at first sight or seeing that person repeatedly for few days. Best is to ask but be careful.
Delle
May 13, 08:12I am a gay man. Probably the gayest of them all. And I have always been attracted to men since I could spell the word PENIS but one thing has eluded me.
This gaydar of a thing.
I can’t for the life of me tell a gay man just by looking at him except I conform to stereotypes. Now, if there’s anyone who should have the eye of the gay gods, it should be me.
Reason I don’t believe there’s such a thing (more like I don’t want to believe *shrugs*). Some people, just like your friends and a couple of mine, are just very intuitive.
Sense8
May 13, 08:59It is overrated to be honest because it requires the use of stereotyping. Some guys may not trigger any response but are gayer than the rainbow. Others may tick all the boxes but are straighter than longitude and latitude. Play it by ear dear.
Canis VY Majoris
May 13, 09:55Well said.
Colossus
May 13, 09:14Doesn’t exist
himbo
May 13, 09:18Contact me for lessons.
Khaleesi
May 13, 10:12The gaydar does exist, some of us are blessed with very strong ones while some of us, not so much. I find that as time goes by and I meet more gay men, my gaydar gets keener and more fine tuned. I guess it’s a tool you need to use frequently for it to calibrate better but then maybe you’re one of those who’s gaydar is irreparably broken. And yes, organic hookups are awesome! 1 organic hookup is worth 10 online ones for me. Use your gaydar more, pay close attention to your subject of interest particularly how he interacts with you, watch his eyes, body language etc, it’ll be a slow process at first but usually you’ll get better with the passing of time …
iAmNotAPerv
May 14, 16:39I agree. I and most of the queer women i know have a fine tuned gaydar
Façade
May 13, 10:20The whole gaydar thing is just intuition, some are more intuitive than others. But this is flawed cos ur gaydar would fall flat on its face even if u have the eyes of Horus when u meet a meterosexual
Façade
May 13, 10:25The gaydar works hand in hand with stereotypes so get ur hands on as much correct stereotypes on gay men as u could n check if the guy in question fits into some not necessarily all of em. That should give u a good insight to if he’s gay or open minded at most but this alone cannot be trusted. The next thing to do is tease subtly, you’d know if he’s gay from the way he responds to ur teasing
ambivalentone
May 13, 14:04It doesn’t for me
OJ
May 13, 16:52Gaydar? O di egwu! Mine is as dead as Nigerian Airways.. No hope of resurrection.
cupid
May 13, 21:11thanks everyone ,went through all the comments
some were very informative and made me not feel alone while other were very funny to the extent I almost laughed my lungs out. thank you pink panther for taking your time out in rewriting and restructuring this post to make it flawless 🙂 .
cupid
May 13, 21:21thanks 🙂
ChubbyLover
June 14, 07:21It works but you have to be very careful to avoid unnecessary embarrassment.