LETTER TO MY HOMOPHOBIC EX-FRIEND

Dear Former Friend

I had actually blocked you here on Facebook but I had to unblock you just to tell you something. I have often wondered why judgmental homophobic people like you exist. And I think I have finally figured it out. I believe the reason people like you exist is so that life can emphasize the existence of good people who are the very opposite of you.

You see, after our last and final chat – you know, the one where you compared a gay comedy and gay drama to child pornography and “advised” me to turn back into the “nice straight friend you’ve always known”, the chatversation where you demanded for an apology over the fact that I called you a homophobe and a hypocrite, that one where after I told you where to shove your demand, you blocked me on WhatsApp, yup the one – I posted screengrabs of your homophobia online, and in a matter of minutes, I had strangers and acquaintances (people who couldn’t even boast of a friendship with me) reaching out to me with offers of downloading those movies and more for me. I got an offer from a lovely woman on Twitter who said she had unlimited data to get me whatever movie I wanted, another beautiful lady who asked me for a list of all the movies I wanted, and a guy on Instagram who, even after I told him I had people who’d offered to download the films for me, wanted to know if there was any other stuff he could download for me. A host of other kind acquaintances dropped pearls of wisdom on how I could best maximize my data to be able to afford lots of downloads on my own.

These are good people.

Good people who didn’t judge.

Good people I didn’t know but who reacted like human beings should.

So, I guess I have to thank you. Because if you hadn’t acted the way you did, I’d probably still be doing business with you, collecting films for pay, instead of all the freebies I am currently enjoying. Yes, I have finally gotten the Beach Rats and Friends & Family, including Black Panther, Samson, Anon, Come Sunday, and all the latest films I wanted from you. There’s also this other LGBT film, Saturday Church, you might want to look out for in case any other “unfortunate” customer of yours requests for it. So you’d know to tell them outright that “you don’t do such”.

So what was I saying – yes, it is perhaps a good thing that judgmental people like you exist. For when you do what you do, the universe seeks to right your wrongs by introducing good people into the world.

Good luck with your daughter and all the ways you intend to ruin her goodness by bringing her up to learn that it’s okay to discriminate against gay people.

Yours Sincerely

Your Former Friend Who Still Thinks You Should Shove Your Demand For An Apology Up Your Ass