Can We Talk About The Sex Tapes Getting Leaked In Our Community?
First off, I would like to say that I have absolutely no judgment against the way people choose to express themselves sexually.
And I believe that revenge porn – or porn released online without the approval of the other party in the act – is a despicable act, and those who willfully post these videos and share them, knowing full well how such exposure can threaten the existence of those in it who live in Nigeria, are the worst of the worst.
Recently, there have been a spate of reports coming to me of panicked members of the community who are involved in one way or another in sex tapes that have leaked online. I do not know how many of these sex tapes are making the rounds online (I make it a matter of principle not to watch or share or partake in any online porn that results in the humiliation of community members), but from these reports, there seem to be different ones trending.
And while the conversation about the humanity of these people who facilitate the trending of such porn needs to be had, there is a different kind of conversation I was hoping we’d have.
In the past, as part of kito cases that I have dealt with, there have been cases of the victims getting entrapped through nude pictures or recorded videos that they willingly participated in, but which was then turned around to be used to blackmail them. Guys who took full length selfies with their faces and their dicks in the same frame, others who participated in video calls where they masturbated, knowing that the person on the other end was recording them.
And I get it, there is a thrill that comes with living life on the edge like this – but before you expose yourself in that manner, do you pause to ask yourself how affected you will be should those photos and videos become public? This is a question it appears most of us in the community do not take the time to answer before stepping out in front of the camera.
A friend of mine once told me that he likes to send nudes to hookups he’s chatting with whenever they ask, but before he does, he’d always say to himself: “Be aware that this picture will most likely leave this DM and become public someday. How do you feel about that?” And only when he finds himself feeling okay, would he hit Send.
Some people in the community do not take the time to be this self-aware before they do the things they do regarding nudity and recorded sex.
A few days ago, I happened upon a Facebook video post, where the owner, Daniel Anthony, hit on some of these points as well.
“If you don’t want your sex tape to leak, don’t make one,” he says. “A lot of young people always feel like they are invincible…but these things can come back to haunt you. Even if you are going to make a video of yourself having sex, even if you ‘re going to do something explicit in a video…Be aware of what could happen before you do it.”
Can we have this conversation? What do you think about sex tapes and the decision to make them? Sound off in the comments section.
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5 Comments
Mandy
April 12, 09:05Daniel is right. There’s an invincibility that we often feel that makes us not to even remotely consider the fact that whatever you film may very well become public one day. Even with people you love… One day, that boyfriend you filmed yourselves having sex will become an ex with a thirst for blood. And he will find those sex tapes and leak them. Or sell them to people who will leak them.
Ultimately, if you are not an exhibitionist or someone who thrives on the controversy of scandal to forward your online profile, please do not make sex tapes. They always, ALWAYS get out.
SaferNudes9ja
April 12, 10:38This is very important information in the LGBTQ+ community. At SaferNudes 9ja, we also have a resource especially for this, Safer Nudes: A digital guide to safely sharing nudes. This provides information sharing nudes or making videos, revenge porn and what legal steps to take in the event of such.
Download SaferNudes Guide here: This is very important information in the LGBTQ+ community. At SaferNudes 9ja, we also have a resource especially for this, Safer Nudes: A digital guide to safely sharing nudes. This provides information sharing nudes or making videos, revenge porn and what legal steps to take in the event of such. Download SaferNudes Guide here: https://www.whereloveisacrime.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/SaferNudes-Nigeria.pdf
Ken
April 12, 11:07When you are young and naive, u do foolish things thinking you’re invincible. Sometimes nature let’s u get away with it unharmed, but often times it ends in disaster.
If u must send nudes, make sure it’s impersonal with nothing to identify u in the pic, incase the matter goes to police or court.
Black Dynasty
April 12, 11:37It’s very simple, a sex tape cannot leak if doesn’t exist. Online cloud storage can be hacked, social media accounts can be hacked, your phone can be hacked.
Do not assume that because you haven’t shared it, that it can’t be leaked. As someone said in the comments, if you must do nudes, then make sure you are not identifiable… this shouldn’t change if it’s a stranger or your bf/gf etc. The latter could be a vengeful ex down the line.
We have no clue where we could be in 10 years and how leaked nudes has derailed careers and fucked up opportunities for people.
Let’s be guided please ??♂️
Delle
April 12, 12:14I could sit here and project all of my opinions about this sex tape of a thing and it won’t mean shit, because yeah, it’s a personal sentiment.
But all I’m going to say is this (and honestly, I do not understand the thrill of videoing yourself having sex), if you must make a sex tape, please CENSOR IT!
Like the video above says, there’s a pretty high chance of a video you’ve recorded getting leaked. But won’t it be a lot safer if it were just legs, dicks, ass, waists and bellies showing? Why put your face out there? Why risk it?
I’ll never understand this carelessness.
I just hope this blows over and a lot learn. I just hope.