A Verse to Your god
To the man standing behind his self-made pulpit
Spitting the words: “God hates faggots!”
I’ve never seen exactly
Who it is that you paperclip your knees for
To hold your hands together and pray to
But I think I know what he looks like.
*
I bet your god is about 5’10”
I bet he weighs 185
Probably stands the way a high school diploma does when it’s next to a SSCE certificate
I bet your god wears a dog chain
I bet he wears flannel shirts with no sleeves,
And a fanny pack over his shoulders
And types words like “am” instead of “I am”
I bet your god watches Africa Magic Yoruba
Ed, Edd and Eddy, voted for GEJ, and loves Iya Rainbow
I bet your god lives in Festac.
*
I bet his high school served low self-esteem in the cafeteria
And offered “Fag speech” as a second language
I bet he has a swastika inside of his throat
And hate slurs tattooed on his tongue
Just to make intolerance more comfortable in his mouth.
I bet he has a burning cross as a middle finger.
*
Your god is a confederate flag’s wet dream
Conceived on a day when the sky decided to slice her own wrists
I bet your god has a drinking problem
I bet he sees the bottom of the shot glass more often than his own children.
I bet he pours Grey Goose Vodka on his dreams until they taste like good ideas.
Probably cusses like an electric guitar with Tourette’s plugged into an ocean.
I bet he yells like a schizophrenic nail gun
Damaging all things that care about him enough to get close.
*
I bet there are angels in Heaven with black eyes and broken halos
Who claimed they fell down the stairs.
I bet your god would’ve made Eve without a mouth
And taught her how to spread her legs like a magazine
That she will never ever be pretty enough to be in.
*
Sooner or later you will realize that you are praying to your own shadow,
That you are standing in front of mirrors and are worshipping your own reflection.
Your god stole my God’s identity and I bet he’s buying pieces of heaven on eBay.
*
So the next time you bend your knees,
The next time you bow your head
I want you to
Tell your god—
That my God
Is looking for him.
Written by Vhar
About author
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52 Comments
Absalom
February 22, 05:32I like this one.
Dennis Macauley
February 22, 05:33Vhar!
OMFG
This is amazing
simba
February 22, 05:37Oh dear Vhar,this is beautiful.. so much have ur poetry changed… albeit this poem comes from a personal dark side of u, am I wrong? Oh festac brothers, una don suffer..
Pls tell ur god tht my God is looking for him to depose him.. Happy Sunday All ye Holy Homosexuals… #just in a good mood today.. a phrase I learnt in London metropolitan church
law
February 22, 05:44I love ….. Nice
lluvmua
February 22, 05:49Splendidly fabulous…. *keeps clapping* vhar darling come take a kiss dear…..
Dennis Macauley
February 22, 06:03But wait oh, does this god described here not remimd you guys of Lord?
Vhar.
February 22, 07:03Dennis, Why are you like this?!
Deola
February 22, 08:24Vhar I have Guguru ati Ekpa, come and collect when you’re ready!
Earl.
February 22, 10:56Wait for me. I’m coming… #WearingMyKitoSandal
Pisces
February 22, 06:05#Vhar and Dark
But i would like to think i know where that is coming from!
Happy Sunday Kitodiaries….
Gad
February 22, 06:10No comments till this puzzle is solved in a prose form.
Max
February 22, 08:09Its not a puzzle.. Its easy enough to understand.
Gad
February 22, 13:01A man said he doesn’t understand something and you insists it’s simple without providing a clue. You are a sage indeed
Kel
February 23, 14:15Read again,Gad.Slowly this time,it’ll come to you.
pinkpanthertb
February 23, 14:30Lol. Touché Kel.
Gad
February 23, 14:51If I say what’s on my mind about that poem you guys will send a chatered jet to SA to procure arms so I better wait till you demystify it
Kel
February 23, 20:51The poem is not about the Almighty,Gad.But about folks who would or who try to press the Almighty or His words/thoughts into their own preconceived notions.
Hope that clears it up some for you.
Gad
February 24, 01:03Sure. Thanks. Talking about those who will press the Almighty or His words into their own preconceived notion, I think that’s why people like Chuck thinks being gay and christian is hypocrisy.
Ace
February 22, 06:16Oh To the Freaking word! This is awesome! This is a masterpiece! I wish everyone could read this (and understand it). People like Vhar are constantly changing my perception about poetry. Loved every verse.
thosewhoendure
February 22, 06:35I love it
tobby
February 22, 07:49This was lovely
Lothario
February 22, 08:03Oh wow! This totally gave me a literary orgasm
Max
February 22, 08:08Best piece of the month. Bravo Vhar, Bravo..
Deola
February 22, 08:22Holy fuck!! This is bloody brilliant! *standing ovation *
The entire thing just flowed…I love this. Nicely written Vhar.
Dennis Macaulay
February 22, 08:24Dee-pie me and you needs to talk
***stares daggers at PP***
Tony Odekunle-Brown
February 22, 08:24I like this.
Plus the ending… lovely
Chizzie
February 22, 09:05This is nice….way better than that ode to lesbianism that u penned. The bit about Africa Magic Yoruba and Iya Rainbow…is this alternative god yoruba by any chance? or are his worshipers predominatly yoruba? cus I’m just wondering what yoruba ppl have done to u ppl.
Vhar.
February 22, 09:10Chizzie, Did your chills go with the harmattan?
Lol.
I’m a yoruba boy…
Receive understanding.
Gad
February 22, 09:32A certain post here suggests you are from one of our African neighboring countries. I hope my memory is not failing me.
Vhar.
February 22, 09:35Huh?
pinkpanthertb
February 22, 09:54Yea. My reaction too.
Pete
February 22, 09:11Never really into poetry but this certainly touched something inside me. Vhar,kudos
Oluwadamilare Okoro
February 22, 09:52A good piece. I like.
Justme
February 22, 10:56lovely…happy sunday
Pisces
February 22, 12:29Afternoon! Mr Gad please i’ve asked for your contacts from the Admin’….any ”clarification” that you feel you might need i guess the Admin’ will help in doing so.
Dame Pinky
Did you get my email(s) this morning?
Gad
February 22, 13:42Its okay. No “clarifications”. I await your mail. Thanks
Dennis Macaulay
February 22, 14:27All these mails you are sending, diarismrsgadoooo
Gad
February 22, 14:49DM, there is something called boundary
iamcoy
February 22, 14:13Nice piece! Kudos
#TeamKizito
February 22, 15:53Vhar Vhar Voom Voom!
Vhar.
February 22, 16:04Agbaya!
jorDy
February 22, 18:21Wow!!! That was really really awesome. I love this one. Next time u bend ur knees, tell ur god that my God is looking for me. Amazing!!
Gad
February 23, 04:25Yea. Everyone will like it even when many don’t understand it. I have been waiting all day for someone to demystify that poem but to no avail. I even admitted I don’t understand yet no help but all I kept seeing is I like,i love.nice piece etc without one person talking about the theme or aim of the verse. Odikwa egwu.
pinkpanthertb
February 23, 04:33Them not talking about the poem and simply commending it is not a testament of incomprehension. Simply because you don’t get the poem (which for the life of me I find bewildering) doesn’t mean others don’t. Perhaps you should try commenting @ Vhar, asking him for tutorials.
Finally though, poetry is not for everyone, it would seem.
Gad
February 23, 05:55Good advice. Noted. The only weird aspect is that you who understood the poem is referring me to another for tutorials.
pinkpanthertb
February 23, 05:59I’m Admin, gad. Busy, busy, busy. lol 😀
s_sensei
February 22, 21:40Pure genius! I love you for this, Vhar!
La-Coozee
February 23, 10:13I bet there are angels in Heaven with black eyes and broken halos
Who claimed they fell down the stairs.
I bet your god would’ve made Eve without a mouth
And taught her how to spread her legs like a magazine
That she will never ever be pretty enough to be in.
My favourite part!!! I beg to use this in my upcoming piece for this blog (If PinkPanther will publish me lol) 🙂
pinkpanthertb
February 23, 10:19Let me see what you have and then we’ll journey the next step into the murky waters of publication. Lol
La-Coozee
February 23, 11:15Yay, the publisher wants to see my manuscript lol! Let me put something together sir. Where should I send it? 🙂
pinkpanthertb
February 23, 11:19To pantherptb@yahoo.com
Brian Collins
February 23, 17:41NICELY DONE.
‘I bet he likes Iya Rainbow’. That one got me.