A Verse to Your god

A Verse to Your god

shadow-ITTo the man standing behind his self-made pulpit

Spitting the words: “God hates faggots!”

I’ve never seen exactly

Who it is that you paperclip your knees for

To hold your hands together and pray to

But I think I know what he looks like.


I bet your god is about 5’10”

I bet he weighs 185

Probably stands the way a high school diploma does when it’s next to a SSCE certificate

I bet your god wears a dog chain

I bet he wears flannel shirts with no sleeves,

And a fanny pack over his shoulders

And types words like “am” instead of “I am”

I bet your god watches Africa Magic Yoruba

Ed, Edd and Eddy, voted for GEJ, and loves Iya Rainbow

I bet your god lives in Festac.


I bet his high school served low self-esteem in the cafeteria

And offered “Fag speech” as a second language

I bet he has a swastika inside of his throat

And hate slurs tattooed on his tongue

Just to make intolerance more comfortable in his mouth.

I bet he has a burning cross as a middle finger.


Your god is a confederate flag’s wet dream

Conceived on a day when the sky decided to slice her own wrists

I bet your god has a drinking problem

I bet he sees the bottom of the shot glass more often than his own children.

I bet he pours Grey Goose Vodka on his dreams until they taste like good ideas.

Probably cusses like an electric guitar with Tourette’s plugged into an ocean.

I bet he yells like a schizophrenic nail gun

Damaging all things that care about him enough to get close.


I bet there are angels in Heaven with black eyes and broken halos

Who claimed they fell down the stairs.

I bet your god would’ve made Eve without a mouth

And taught her how to spread her legs like a magazine

That she will never ever be pretty enough to be in.


Sooner or later you will realize that you are praying to your own shadow,

That you are standing in front of mirrors and are worshipping your own reflection.

Your god stole my God’s identity and I bet he’s buying pieces of heaven on eBay.


So the next time you bend your knees,

The next time you bow your head

I want you to

Tell your god—

That my God

Is looking for him.

Written by Vhar

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  1. simba
    February 22, 05:37 Reply

    Oh dear Vhar,this is beautiful.. so much have ur poetry changed… albeit this poem comes from a personal dark side of u, am I wrong? Oh festac brothers, una don suffer..
    Pls tell ur god tht my God is looking for him to depose him.. Happy Sunday All ye Holy Homosexuals… #just in a good mood today.. a phrase I learnt in London metropolitan church

  2. law
    February 22, 05:44 Reply

    I love ….. Nice

  3. lluvmua
    February 22, 05:49 Reply

    Splendidly fabulous…. *keeps clapping* vhar darling come take a kiss dear…..

  4. Dennis Macauley
    February 22, 06:03 Reply

    But wait oh, does this god described here not remimd you guys of Lord?

    • Vhar.
      February 22, 07:03 Reply

      Dennis, Why are you like this?!

      • Deola
        February 22, 08:24 Reply

        Vhar I have Guguru ati Ekpa, come and collect when you’re ready!

      • Earl.
        February 22, 10:56 Reply

        Wait for me. I’m coming… #WearingMyKitoSandal

  5. Pisces
    February 22, 06:05 Reply

    #Vhar and Dark

    But i would like to think i know where that is coming from!

    Happy Sunday Kitodiaries….

  6. Gad
    February 22, 06:10 Reply

    No comments till this puzzle is solved in a prose form.

    • Max
      February 22, 08:09 Reply

      Its not a puzzle.. Its easy enough to understand.

      • Gad
        February 22, 13:01 Reply

        A man said he doesn’t understand something and you insists it’s simple without providing a clue. You are a sage indeed

    • Kel
      February 23, 14:15 Reply

      Read again,Gad.Slowly this time,it’ll come to you.

      • Gad
        February 23, 14:51 Reply

        If I say what’s on my mind about that poem you guys will send a chatered jet to SA to procure arms so I better wait till you demystify it

      • Kel
        February 23, 20:51 Reply

        The poem is not about the Almighty,Gad.But about folks who would or who try to press the Almighty or His words/thoughts into their own preconceived notions.
        Hope that clears it up some for you.

        • Gad
          February 24, 01:03 Reply

          Sure. Thanks. Talking about those who will press the Almighty or His words into their own preconceived notion, I think that’s why people like Chuck thinks being gay and christian is hypocrisy.

  7. Ace
    February 22, 06:16 Reply

    Oh To the Freaking word! This is awesome! This is a masterpiece! I wish everyone could read this (and understand it). People like Vhar are constantly changing my perception about poetry. Loved every verse.

  8. Lothario
    February 22, 08:03 Reply

    Oh wow! This totally gave me a literary orgasm

  9. Max
    February 22, 08:08 Reply

    Best piece of the month. Bravo Vhar, Bravo..

  10. Deola
    February 22, 08:22 Reply

    Holy fuck!! This is bloody brilliant! *standing ovation *
    The entire thing just flowed…I love this. Nicely written Vhar.

  11. Chizzie
    February 22, 09:05 Reply

    This is nice….way better than that ode to lesbianism that u penned. The bit about Africa Magic Yoruba and Iya Rainbow…is this alternative god yoruba by any chance? or are his worshipers predominatly yoruba? cus I’m just wondering what yoruba ppl have done to u ppl.

  12. Vhar.
    February 22, 09:10 Reply

    Chizzie, Did your chills go with the harmattan?

    I’m a yoruba boy…
    Receive understanding.

    • Gad
      February 22, 09:32 Reply

      A certain post here suggests you are from one of our African neighboring countries. I hope my memory is not failing me.

  13. Pete
    February 22, 09:11 Reply

    Never really into poetry but this certainly touched something inside me. Vhar,kudos

  14. Pisces
    February 22, 12:29 Reply

    Afternoon! Mr Gad please i’ve asked for your contacts from the Admin’….any ”clarification” that you feel you might need i guess the Admin’ will help in doing so.

    Dame Pinky
    Did you get my email(s) this morning?

    • Gad
      February 22, 13:42 Reply

      Its okay. No “clarifications”. I await your mail. Thanks

        • Gad
          February 22, 14:49 Reply

          DM, there is something called boundary

  15. jorDy
    February 22, 18:21 Reply

    Wow!!! That was really really awesome. I love this one. Next time u bend ur knees, tell ur god that my God is looking for me. Amazing!!

    • Gad
      February 23, 04:25 Reply

      Yea. Everyone will like it even when many don’t understand it. I have been waiting all day for someone to demystify that poem but to no avail. I even admitted I don’t understand yet no help but all I kept seeing is I like,i love.nice piece etc without one person talking about the theme or aim of the verse. Odikwa egwu.

      • pinkpanthertb
        February 23, 04:33 Reply

        Them not talking about the poem and simply commending it is not a testament of incomprehension. Simply because you don’t get the poem (which for the life of me I find bewildering) doesn’t mean others don’t. Perhaps you should try commenting @ Vhar, asking him for tutorials.
        Finally though, poetry is not for everyone, it would seem.

        • Gad
          February 23, 05:55 Reply

          Good advice. Noted. The only weird aspect is that you who understood the poem is referring me to another for tutorials.

  16. s_sensei
    February 22, 21:40 Reply

    Pure genius! I love you for this, Vhar!

  17. La-Coozee
    February 23, 10:13 Reply

    I bet there are angels in Heaven with black eyes and broken halos
    Who claimed they fell down the stairs.
    I bet your god would’ve made Eve without a mouth
    And taught her how to spread her legs like a magazine
    That she will never ever be pretty enough to be in.

    My favourite part!!! I beg to use this in my upcoming piece for this blog (If PinkPanther will publish me lol) 🙂

    • pinkpanthertb
      February 23, 10:19 Reply

      Let me see what you have and then we’ll journey the next step into the murky waters of publication. Lol

  18. La-Coozee
    February 23, 11:15 Reply

    Yay, the publisher wants to see my manuscript lol! Let me put something together sir. Where should I send it? 🙂

  19. Brian Collins
    February 23, 17:41 Reply

    ‘I bet he likes Iya Rainbow’. That one got me.

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