Chizzie’s Jukebox (Episode 4)

Chizzie’s Jukebox (Episode 4)

When all is said and done, the bed sheet and plate smashing rampage over, the blinds are drawn, the lights are out, and it’s just you with flared and aggrieved tits, mad at the world or at a certain somebody, here are 5 songs that should calm those tits down or perhaps just help you cry it out. These are the Tit Calmers (Songs That Make Us Cry):

CJ Fire and rainFire and Rain

Artist: Birdy

Genre: Pop

Year: 2011

The original version of this song was by James Taylor in 1970, and its lyrics allude to losing a friend to suicide, drug addiction, depression and a failed band. Pretty much a rolodex of all things sad.  I haven’t heard the original version, but Birdy’s cover does justice in conveying the sadness behind the lyrics, especially seeing as she sounds like she’s about to cry half of the time.

If you perhaps feel the need to cry, give this song a listen

CJ grammar-wasting7Wasting My Young Years

Artist: London Grammar

Genre: Down tempo

Year: 2013  

If you are say in your 20s and still writing JAMB, 3 years into unemployment or just an unmarried Yoruba woman in her late 20s, you could easily misinterpret the message of this song, which is really just about wasting time on an undeserving lover, to wasting your youth and accomplishing nothing/ It’s hard to not relate to Hannah Reid’s gloomy and high pitched eldritch vocals as she admits to wasting her young years, and not sob on your pillow, wishing you were 25 again.

CJ ofmonstersLove, Love, Love

Artist: Of Monsters and Men

Genre: Folk

Year: 2013

Nanna Bryndís Hilmarsdóttir (Tongue twister, this one), lead singer of Icelandic band Of Monsters and Men, has one of the most endearing voices in the same leagues as Colbie Caillat, Dido and Lily Allen, where she can pretty much sing anything and get away with it because she sounds too adorable. She does so in this song, about her inability to reciprocate love and her avoidance of emotional attachments, much like your average Nigerian bisexual top. But instead of slut shaming and casting a stone, you are compelled to reach out, hug her and cry.

CJ Beck 2014Country Down

Artist: Beck

Genre: Folk Rock

Year: 2014

When I first heard that Beck won Album of the Year at this year’s Grammy’s, much to everyone’s amazement, I was curious and decided to give the album a listen. What I heard was a perfect mix of poignant and awe inspiring nostalgic songs, all cohesively sung and arranged, and immediately I knew he deserved it.

This song is sad, but not sad in one of those gloomy ways; it’s sad in a beautiful thought-provoking way. The ice breaker is the bridge, where what sounds like a harmonium is played, his vocals muted, and in that moment, you feel maybe it’s time to cry.

Definitely a tear jerker

CJ Fleetwood marcDreams

Artist: Fleetwood Mac

Genre: Soft Rock, Acoustic Rock

Year: 1977

Will this song make you cry? Well that’s debatable, but it will leave your tits calm and with a lot to think about. The whole song carries with it profound and cryptic messages of caution. Urging the listener to double check whatever rash decision they are about to make. With lyrics like “Listen carefully to the sound of your loneliness”, “Thunder only happens when it’s raining”, it’s testament of the fact that good music defies time, and it is a must listen!

Next week’s theme: Love Sucks!

You Should Probably Download This Song:

CJ YSPDTSGasoline

Artist: Halsey

Genre: Electro Pop

Year: 2015

Halsey is the poster child of genuine liberalism, post modernism and political incorrectness. She’s biracial, bisexual, sings about sex and drugs, uses the F word, has blue hair and calls herself a hurricane.  Basically Donald Trump’s worst nightmare.

This song is one of the standouts in her debut album, Badlands, and it’s a good place to start if you want to get into her music.

SO ELLIE GOULDING…CJ Ellie Goulding

Ellie Goulding dropped her new album titled Delirium recently and I was excited, seeing as I am a fan of hers before her US mainstream, circa Starry Eyed days. How exactly do I feel about Delirium?  Let’s just say, it feels like when your grandma suddenly decided to jump on the coffee table and started rapping to Nicki Minaj’s Anaconda. Yes very that.

The whole album comes across as awkward as Ellie attempts to delve into genres that are clearly not her forte, and it becomes extremely evident with each track.

Some songs are hands down unlistenable and require great forbearance, a prime example being the EDM electro ballad fail, Devotion; while some are flat-out so comical and ridiculous, you have to restrain yourself from laughing out loud, case in point being On My Mind and Do What I Want, especially the latter.  The bulk of the album comprises of generic pop fillers.

There are a few instances where Ellie’s attempt to be trendy works, as in Don’t Need No Body, which is a catchy EDM banger bound to be a hit in say the UK, but all in all, the album is a perfect example of what happens when a talented artist in a bid to attain mass audience gives in to conformance.

Stand Outs: Lost and Found, Don’t Need No Body, Around U

Verdict: 2 stars

Also…CJ Ellie Goulding 2

Written by Chizzie

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29 Comments

  1. Bradley
    November 16, 05:38 Reply

    I must say am not really someone who comments here, but in this case I just have to. Chizzie your jukebox is indeed amazing I would steal it. Most of the songs you out up here are personal favorites of mine and those I get to download have yet to disappoint. I always look forward to this post more than any other.
    Thanks for this.
    PS: Chizzie, I need to know who you are. Lol.

  2. #TeamKizito
    November 16, 06:44 Reply

    Lmao. Ellie. Hair. Face.

    Birdy’s songs can calm one’s tits any day anytime. “Not About Angels” just makes me wanna cry every single time. I listen to it and always think of Hazel & Gus. *tears* (The soundtracks to that movie are so on point)

    And Halsey, mehn her sultry voice is amazing. Listen to “Trouble” you’d get wharam sayin’. 🙂

  3. Sinnex
    November 16, 07:35 Reply

    Well…

    Anyway, Stars’ ‘Your Ex Lover is dead’ does it for me.

    This is the 4th post and I am yet to get the point of this music stuff sha.

  4. Francis
    November 16, 07:37 Reply

    Abeg na where una dey download mp3 from oh? Not torrents oh.

    • Francis
      November 16, 13:26 Reply

      Just discovered that good ol’ Vidmate for Android dey download mp3 ???

  5. Stranger
    November 16, 08:52 Reply

    I’ve listened to about 3 different versions of Fleetwood Mac’s “Dreams”, and I feel Bastille covered the song really well. You may wanna check it out.

    And about the download site, co-ask.

  6. Duke
    November 16, 09:41 Reply

    Wow! Someone also listens to Beck and Halsey! Never thought I would see the day.

  7. Mandy
    November 16, 09:43 Reply

    I too was miffed when Beyoncé lost album of the year to whats-his-face. So miffed in fact that I swore not to disrespect Queen Bey by giving him a listen. But becos u recommended Sia’s California Dreamin’, and I sought it out, listened n loved it, I’m going to give Beck a try.

  8. Mandy
    November 16, 09:45 Reply

    Meanwhile, Chizzie, shouldn’t u give some serious thought to adding some good Naija music in this review mix of yours? Timi Dakolo, Waje, Femi something-something, they sing good music.

    • Max
      November 16, 10:53 Reply

      Naija what? **pukes all over**

      Nigerians cant sing to save their life, tueh.
      I trust chizzy, he’ll never subscribe to such.

    • Khaleesi
      November 16, 12:17 Reply

      Thank you Mandy, we have some amazing Naija crooners! listen to Waje’s “No be you”, Darey’s “No Stars”, Timi Dakolo’s “I love you” … and .. eat your hearts out, Naija hiphop gives me life!!!! ***turns up the volume on Olamide’s Shakiti bobo!!!”

      • Pink Panther
        November 16, 13:02 Reply

        Oh yes, Darey and Timi. Those are good crooners with noteworthy songs.

  9. Nightwing
    November 16, 09:47 Reply

    Lol, yeah I often wonder that too. @ will Ellie Goulding ever wake up and let her hair down. But I still love love her though.

  10. Ueze
    November 16, 10:31 Reply

    Quite the taste, Chizzie.
    I itch to share two tit-calming 😀 favorites of mine, though.
    ‘Let It All Go – Rhodes ft Birdy’
    ‘Hero – Family of The Year’
    I have not the words to describe the potency of the songs’ melody and lyrics!

    • Chizzie
      November 16, 11:02 Reply

      Oh wow they sound like my type of songs. Rababababa off to download them, legally on iTunes *coughs*

      • Pink Panther
        November 16, 12:59 Reply

        Legally on iTunes. Lol. And I’m being considered for the pope.

  11. Teflondon
    November 16, 12:26 Reply

    I don’t get the whole Music jukebox thingy, i have to be honest, i have never heard about most of this songs and artiste. I think ill rather unwind with Soccer than music, Still a music fan though but anything other than Kanye, Jay, RiRi, James Blunt, Rozay! Count me out.

    From what i read though and the feed backs, i guess chizzie is doing a good job so kudos. Its refreshing reading stuffs here that isn’t gay-related or some Make-believe rants from someone going through DDS.

    • Chizzie
      November 16, 15:30 Reply

      Ehm nope, I dont want that, I need someone to constantly cyber bully so let’s not get all kumbaya now.

    • ronniephoenix
      November 16, 15:39 Reply

      Lol, it may begin from next week’s post (love sucks)

      Let’s wait and see.

  12. Uziel
    November 16, 16:00 Reply

    Okay. Those songs are good. Lol. I didn’t know half of them before today but majority passes. Lol. Fleetwood Mac’s Dream is the best. April’s cover of it on Glee was really awesome. I think you should listen to Angus & Julia Stone’s Down The Way album (casts glance around for a certain sombori). The album has a few tear jerkers, and since I discovered the amazing siblings, they’ve been my chill pill. I can’t not mentione Yanni’s Tribute album. That album is ****. *sits back down on the bleachers*

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