Dear KD: I Would Like To Know About Cheating
So, I’m sitting here, deep in my thoughts, and my mind just keeps having this conversation about people in relationships and what exactly beyond or apart from physical contact or emotional availability with someone else counts as cheating in a relationship, as I do not have any experience in that department.
This is something I would like to feel our community’s pulse on. Is it cheating when you have fantasies about someone who isn’t your partner? Is it cheating when you masturbate or derive sexual pleasure – not physically though, but maybe a picture or video or whatever image of this other person you form in your head – from a person who isn’t your partner?
Can we talk?
Submitted by Mesh
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4 Comments
Mitch
November 12, 09:09I think we all have fantasies.
Even those of us in relationships.
Whether the fantasy includes our love interest or partner or someone else or other people.
I think what’s important is in not getting attached to the object of your fantasy such that you begin to detach from your partner.
At least, that’s my opinion on this.
Black Dynasty
November 12, 09:21I think it varies primarily on the people in the relationship. It would depend on the boundaries agreed by the parties involved on what is acceptable and what is beyond redemption.
Is it cheating when you have fantasies about someone who isn’t your partner?
I frankly don’t think so, it is human to find other people other than your partner attractive…. as long as it remains in your head and never acted on, shouldn’t be a problem. However, this can be a slippery slope once there’s access… i.e. if the person is your neighbour, friend, work colleague etc.
Is it cheating when you masturbate or derive sexual pleasure – not physically though, but maybe a picture or video or whatever image of this other person you form in your head – from a person who isn’t your partner?
This is crossing a line and acting on it…. the slippery slope gets even steeper here and It can be cheating if you’ve engaged the person and gotten said pics and videos from them.
Bickersteth-K7
November 12, 14:27It really depends on who you ask. Having fantasies about other people is bound to happen especially if you see people everyday or have an Instagram account (lol).
Traditional cheating is having something romantic/erotic to do with the person/crush when you are in a relationship.
Max
November 12, 14:53Once it’s something you can’t comfortably share with your partner, it’s cheating. I also don’t think cheating should be as cut throat as it’s currently being portrayed in the mainstream.
I think people need to be more honest in their relationship about their wants/needs and desires.