DEAR KD: I Have A Bothersome Health Issue

DEAR KD: I Have A Bothersome Health Issue

It took a lot of encouragement from Pink Panther and some mining of guts on my own part to let this post happen. I am a naturally reserved person, to the point of introversion, and I am not wont to drawing attention to myself. That is why I have being reading this blog since its inception and never once commented. But I’m pragmatic enough to know that when you have a problem which you cannot handle on your own, and you do not ask for help, then you suffer greatly for it.

So when I reached out to PP and he admitted he didn’t have all the answers and asked if he should bring it up in the house, I first hedged, and then I conceded.

For the purpose of this update, my name is Timothy. I live in Lagos. And I am a Bottom. Please, in your comments, it wouldn’t do to ask me why I’m not Top or observe how being Versatile can help solve my problem. I’ve identified who I am in the bedroom, and that is what it is.

Like I said earlier, I’m quite introverted, and so, I do not possess the interpersonal skills required to sustain an online acquaintanceship. Hence, I do not have profiles in any of the hookup sites. But I have friends, and it is through them I get to meet the guys I do. This means that I don’t have a very active sex life.

I’ve seen PP declare that he is not the kind of Bottom who thirsts for men with too much endowment. That is me as well. I’m also the kind of Bottom who can’t get back on the saddle for Round 2 moments, minutes, even hours after sex. This is why I do not bemoan my lack of regular sex, because I’ve come to realize that there’s only so much my anus can take.

I have the kind of anus that makes sex feel like the first time whenever I have it. Some of my friends tease me with the nickname ‘The Continuous Virgin’. As you can imagine, that means that every initial penetration hurts, and this has disturbed me so much that whenever I’m getting frisky in bed with a potential sex partner, I feel him up, not entirely for the pleasure of having a hard dick in my hand, but because I want to gauge just how much dread I should feel for the impending sex. In the event that my fingers encounter a small erection behind the boxers, I always heave a silent sigh of relief.

But this discomfort has been bearable, until last year, when a biting pain in my anus made me feel it up to discover there was a bit of skin sticking out from it. Warts, piles, whatever, I don’t know what it was. All I knew then was that it hurt whenever my rectal muscles moved, whether I was sitting, walking, peeing, pooing, or – well, sex went out of the equation when this developed.

I spoke to a straight doctor friend of mine about it, omitting the part about how I take D up my ass, and he prescribed the application of something-something-Odofin. Something-something-Odofin turned out to be this ointment of sorts that stings like a bitch when applied on your anus. Or any sensitive area of your body, really. But it was efficient. It was supposed to shrink the skin from its protrusion, and it did. Life returned to normal.

Then recently, I’m knowing a different kind of discomfort. There was no prompting for this. No protruding skin. No wild sex. I simply woke up one morning, went to the toilet, and had to fight back a cry of pain when the first surge of excrement felt like it was coming out of my ass with tiny needles sticking out of it, business-end up. The pain nearly made men push back everything into my intestines. But I had to go. So I sat there and endured the torture.

When I was done and stood to glance into the toilet bowl, it was to see a crimson colour mixing with everything else in there. My shit had come out bloodied. I panicked. This was a first for me. My panic kept rising when I wiped my ass and saw the toilet tissue stained with blood. Just blood o. No shit, nothing else, but the red stains of my blood.

For hours after that, my anus throbbed with dull pain. And then, it passed. And returned the next time I went to the toilet. It has pretty much become routine. I’m fine. No pain. No fuss. Until I have to go to the toilet, then it feels like I’m shitting pins and needles. And then there’s the blood. And then I’m fine. Until the next time.

I was tempted to somehow adapt to this cycle, especially when I was able to have sex last week for the first time since this started. I told myself, well, since I’m able to take the D and it didn’t kill me, then I can endure the nightmare that going to the toilet has become.

But concern over what is happening to me down there won’t let me be. I am constantly nagged by a need to know what is wrong with me, and what I can do to fix me. I can’t talk about it with my straight doctor friend, because I want to be able to disclose my entire ordeal to whomever I talk to, and this doctor friend is not very subtle with his prejudice against gay people.

So I need help. I need well informed advice. I need guidance. I need direction. And I need to consult with a non-judgmental medical professional, whether gay or straight. I need to know what I can afford to do to make me right. For anyone who wants to be more detailed with his advice to me but can’t put it down in the comments section, kindly send an mail to PP’s email address –


Submitted by Timothy

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  1. KingBey
    May 18, 04:41 Reply

    Well, it’s simple… have hemorrhoids or piles in lay man’s language…..and the fact that your a bottom may also mean you also have anal fissure. I went through exact condition few years back until I had a surgery to correct it later last year. Ask PP for my direct contact….so I can put you through to the doctor that can examine you to know if you’re due for a surgery or not. but mind you, it’s a bit expensive and get your mind and body ready for the post surgical pains. at least for the first few weeks. but you will thank me later. And errrrmmmm… might not be able to take a dick again after this surgery oooooo……I don’t know if you can handle that. but at least, you will have your health and peace of mind back.

    • mike daemon
      May 18, 08:05 Reply

      @KingBey it’s true, he won’t be able to take a dick again, a friend suffered it and died even after surgery.

    • Chris
      May 18, 11:57 Reply

      I thought you knew that i know Pp,
      just that i didnt see the shade coming.

  2. Jamie
    May 18, 04:41 Reply

    I think it’s serious bro…not a thing to dismiss…
    I guess someone will appreciate that the bottom deserves some respect; cos he is always at risk!!

  3. Max
    May 18, 04:44 Reply

    Sorry to break it to you honey, but you should never bottom again. I’ve had my share of bloodied poo and I know how it feels. Mine happened when I took a big sh*t after storing up for a long time. It was painful as hell, took months to finally heal up.
    And also poop and wound don’t go well with each other, so you’ll have to make sure you wash your ass every time you poo. So you have to adjust your pooing time to coincide with when you’re about to take your bath.
    It looks like yours has gotten out of hand, I suggest you see a doctor. You can tell us which state you are and I know people here know doctors in almost any state.
    Please don’t bottom again, its like adding salt to a wound. Your health should be the priority first.

  4. kendigin
    May 18, 04:48 Reply

    I once had this issue of seeing blood whenever I go to the loo. I didnt experience any pain tho, just traces of blood after pooing. So I went to the good doc for help. He advised that I stay away from any supplement that has iron and also eat plenty veggies n fruits and drink water. Then he gave me de-worming medicine.

    Of cos I felt the doc either didnt knw his job or was just simply making fun of my situation (am one of those that cringe at the sight of blood). Anyhoo, it turns out he was right. His prescription worked like magic and I am whole again, halleluyah!

    NB dunno if this helps tho….

  5. pete
    May 18, 04:50 Reply

    Dear Tim,what you need is proper medical care. Visit & you will be given a medical personnel to help you. Or you can ask Pinky for my mail & I’ll help you but may require you coming to the east,Umuahia to be precise

  6. Mercury
    May 18, 06:27 Reply

    Hey man, went through the exact same thing last year, I actually tried to adapt to it too, but mehn, the pain is a bitch. For me i used anusol for about 3 weeks, and d pain and bleeding subsided, eat lots of fruit and fibre and avoid overly spicy foods,and please forget about taking a dick up der and hopefully you might not need the surgery. This are practical solutions that worked for me…..I hope they do for u too. Peace.

  7. Chris
    May 18, 06:40 Reply

    I will advise total bottoms dudes, to include more fruit and veg in their diets.
    Am trying not believe that enough lube is applied for easy penetration.
    In other words good investment in ‘correct’ lube is of the essence.
    Guys need to minimise rough sex otherwise apart from bruising, it can
    create legion of problem such as genital bone damage for the top and
    anal fissure and or anal prolapse or piles for the bottoms. Rough sex
    also breeds several stds.

    In the above situation, i would seek the professional opinion of a
    gay friendly doctor. General advice for all, water, lots of fibre in diet,
    Lots fruit eg banana, oranges and mangoes, makes ‘offloading or
    downloading’ in other words, excretion, get easier, Lots of veg too.
    Ample use of good lube durning penetration is important.

  8. Dimkpa
    May 18, 06:53 Reply

    Sounds like what you have is a fissure-in-ano. It is a fairly common condition and affects straight people also therefore you have no need to disclose your sexuality to a doctor if you don’t want to.
    The treatment is surgery, it is a simple one which takes care of the pain and helps the tear causing the pain heal. All other treatments are merely temporary. Laxatives can help soften your stool and so will high fibre diet. It can reduce the pain during defecation.
    I would advise you go to a teaching hospital and get it sorted out. After all is said and done, they still have the best doctors and it doesn’t cost so much, except maybe the time you’ll spend waiting.
    As for having sex, there’s nothing out there to base any advice on but people treated for this still pass faeces normally and we know that some of those things are bigger than… So if it can come out, I don’t see why nothing can go in. Though it would be wise to wait till treatment is over.
    All the best.

    • Mercury
      May 18, 07:24 Reply

      The anus is meant to be “exit only” last time I checked. So ders a. Difference between pushing out which is reflexive and instinctive and pushing in which is counter frictional…. So yes it is advisable to quit anal sex after a fissure surgery.

      • Dimkpa
        May 18, 08:06 Reply

        So you would condemn him to a life without sex? And to say anus is ‘exit only’ in a blog read by gay men is a bit insensitive don’t you think. The anus relaxes equally well whether pressure comes from within or without, a knowledge applied while performing digital rectal examinations.
        Having anal sex is not the cause of fissures. Most books attribute it to hard scybalous mass of faeces and none has ever recommended stopping defecation once treatment for fissure is done.

      • Williams
        May 18, 08:20 Reply

        Emphasis should be on waiting for total recovery after surgery, and dietary modifications.You really can’t stop having sex,it’s unrealistic and impracticable.

      • Brian Collins
        May 18, 11:11 Reply

        Don’t mind mercury. Later he will say pussy is for taking in until a woman gets pregnant.

  9. KryxxX
    May 18, 06:53 Reply

    Am so so sorry about your ordeal dear. I hope u get well soon nd get good advice to put you through cause me I have no Idea.

    I think we r same(continuous virginity thingy) nd it sucks big time! Everytime is like the first time. D pain is out of this world! D reason I kinda dread sex nd have to be well prepared psychologically nd physically b4 it goes down.
    Nd as for d heamorriod, had my fair share or so I think. Started off as a small bump nd grew into d size of a nut! I was scared shitless! I thought I had cancer! Couldn’t tell family(Judgy much) nd no doc is touching my butt! Lol! Went online nd saw ppl with same signs that were told it was external heamorriod, occurred due to a small tear. Nd might b caused by our toilet habit(excessive sitting in d loo.). Lets just say I could finish I whole Nora Robert’s book in d loo b4 brethren but I have repented now. Later spoke to a Doctor friend, who said he would have to examine to b sure. Lets just say again he didn’t touch my butt cause it shrank back.

    These reasons I think should make us create a Doctor’s corner up in here. A once a week article where health issues nd diseases r discussed nd dissected. From how its gotten, to symptom, to treatment or management nd so on. Might b helping someone.

    Hi Dr. Simba!
    Pinky!!!! Do your Magic!

    And Pinky! I have my own issues too nd you dont wanna help!

    I have an Addiction!

      • mike daemon
        May 18, 08:12 Reply

        @Pinky for the doctor corner’ thing contact me, let me see if I can do something about that.

    • Max
      May 18, 09:02 Reply

      @Kryxx, why do it if it’s so painful?
      Sex isn’t a must you know..

      • Max
        May 18, 09:51 Reply

        Oh honey, thats not what I was trying to say, besides, the writer already made it clear to us not to suggest that.

        • pinkpanthertb
          May 18, 09:53 Reply

          *tapping my pen impatiently on notebook* You’re still talking, not teaching.

    • Brian Collins
      May 18, 11:14 Reply

      I think we really should have the health thing. In all our D and cake consciousness, we should add a lil bit of healthy consciousness to that.

    • MacArdry
      May 18, 16:11 Reply

      Your pants and briefs addiction,KryxxX?.There’s no helping you with that.
      Check your inbox,btw.

  10. sensei
    May 18, 07:05 Reply

    Dear Tim, you probably got hemorrhoids. Our bodies are different and therefore people respond differently to receptive anal intercourse. Easy for some, painful for others. Does anal sex cause hemorrhoids? Currently kinda controversial. Some say yes, others say no. But it would definitely aggravate hemorrhoids. Try taking a lot of veggies and drink lots of water and see how that helps. If symptoms persist, please see a surgeon. And you don’t have to tell him anything about your sexual life. It won’t change the treatment for the condition. The only advice he may give you as a result of your sexual activity has already been given. You may have to stop bottoming.

  11. Francis
    May 18, 07:53 Reply

    You need to see a doctor. Just like Sensei says, your sexual life won’t change the course of treatment so just leave out the part that you’re gay. It could be hemorrhoids or even a tumor sef (I reject am for you IJN)

    Just see a doctor abeg….preferably a proctologist which I’m not even sure we have in Nigeria sef. Anyway any good general surgeon will do.

    Hope you get better soon. I like looking at big dicks BUT don’t appreciate them coming near my butt. I can’t stand haemorrhoids and anal fissure and I’ve seen quite a lot of those as a doctor.

  12. Bade
    May 18, 08:39 Reply

    Vegetables is very important and loads of water. Have never douched b4 and I never paste probably because i take enuf veg nd fruits or it’s my body system.

  13. oj
    May 18, 08:50 Reply

    Hi Tim,i am doctor.There are alot of possibilities of what could be happening,it could be anal fissures,it could be haemorrhoids(pile),it could also be that the podophyllin you applied burnt you.In view of the above,i’d advice you to see a doctor to examine you and arrive at a diagnosis.I won’t advice you to tell a straight doctor you are gay because a lot of them are still homophobic.If you are in lagos I could help you out,if not,let me know your location so I can attach u to an NGO or a doctor around you.Be safe.

  14. pinkpanthertb
    May 18, 09:39 Reply

    Educate us please. *bringing out notebook, ever the attentive student*
    And please don’t say, ‘You can try being a Top’.

  15. Khristopher B!
    May 18, 09:42 Reply

    Medically speaking, you don’t really need to see a doctor just yet not to talk of surgery. From your description I believe you have internal anal fissures which gets injured and bleeds everytime you pass poo. Change your diet. Cut down on the bread, fibre and stachy foods. Eat more fruits and proteins and add a mild laxative. Get anusol. Insert it into your anus every night just before you sleep. Sit on warm water to enhance healing. Trust me in under twi weeks you would see positive results. Trust me anal sex is enjoyable if you let yourself relax, throw in alot of fore play and fingering. Please also invest in a good lube. Astroglide or KY Jelly will do. Best of lucks.

    • Chris
      May 18, 12:05 Reply

      Medical opinion seconded, except that the lubes suggested are not among the best.

  16. kacee
    May 18, 10:34 Reply

    Sorry Timothy,I’ve really learnt something today

  17. AC/DC
    May 18, 10:48 Reply

    U have pile. You won’t bottom again tim.
    Use cloves of garlic in that area. insert it properly.
    Make sure u wipe that side with wet baby wipes(no alcohol or scented)
    Drink water every time. It helps to close that region.
    Also try to consume spinach and ewedu leaf wella.
    Stay away from banana, orange for now. If not u go ……
    Meet all this mallams(most are gay conscious), tell one u want the concoction to “wash and set” your backside.
    It’s well.

    • Francis
      May 18, 10:58 Reply

      Abeg this one no be mallam matter. Those niggas dey complicate shit die. He needs to see a proper doctor. Oranges are rich in fibre and help with constipation. I don’t like them sha so I stick with Apples which though expensive, get the job done properly.

      Quick Tip Timothy: stop wiping with tissue paper. Stick to water only except in times of emergency when you have to go like in a public place.

      • Chris
        May 18, 12:16 Reply

        francis i hear your advice, just love the way you roll it out, cant stop laughing ,though we ate discussing a serious matter here, listen to this ..”….this one no be mallam matter,..thise niggas dey complicate shit die”
        and AC/DC, so one thing dey wey pesin dey take set yansh? na now i know say i still be learner and
        aboki too are specialist in ukwu matter? am back to school again 🙂

  18. Brian Collins
    May 18, 11:23 Reply

    This can be really scary for any bottom. Wondering if you have an incurable disease and being scared to tell anyone.
    The pain, the horror, the anxiety. I am glad you decided to come out with you problem. Now it’ll be easier to find real, long lasting solution.
    Pls do see a doctor. To make things easier, you can ask PP to link you up with one ine your city that will be willing to help.
    I pray you get well soon.

  19. Diablo
    May 18, 13:17 Reply

    Ehm calm down first of all cause its really no biggie. The anus might be very brittle but its also tough and can bounce back from pretty much most things. From what you described in the first part was definitely a rectal prolapse and its a common occurrence in some bottoms, it could also be caused by constipation. Its not really a serious predicament except in a few instances, and it goes on its own.
    The second issue, my bets on it being an anal fissure with is a tear in the membrane dt separates the anus from the perineum . Ive had those before and I know the feeling. The unprovoked bleeding can be scary
    . Imagine running your fingers across ur bum only to see it filled with blood, or going to the loo and looking down at a bloody mess. I constantly felt I was bleeding, like the woman with the issue of blood except there was no hem to touch. It healed up eventually, like it always does but after a couple of days. Just ensure to keep there as clean as possible. Use cold water to clean ur bum as opposed to tissue paper, take lots of liquids to avoid hard stools. Wash with a mild anticeptic soap to avoid infections, And Wikipedia!
    Ul be okay

  20. Lanre S
    May 18, 17:28 Reply

    Thanks for sharing. I just wanna say 2 things. One to all people who identify as bottoms. It should be less about what you feel in your anus and more about what you feel in your emotions. Successful bottoms derive emotional pleasure from imagining being fucked, and subsequently find big hard penises thrusting into them a pleasurable thing. The 2nd issue is your bleeding. Apparently the skin outside healed from the ointment but the skin inside your anus wasn’t yet healed. So the poopoo made you bleed. You would have been better off using poopoo softeners and laxatives until full healing was achieved. Finally PP knows the emails of doctors in the group who can help if you need personal medical advice.

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