Deola’s Corner: Another Week Of TV (Edition 7)

DISCLAIMER: The following article contains spoilers from TV Shows of the past week, so if you haven’t SEEN the episodes of the week, and you detest spoilers, then I suggest you leave while you can. If you haven’t and you don’t mind spoilers, feel free to enjoy. If you have seen the episodes, then by all means read on and lets ki-ki.

REVIEW OF THE WEEK: How To Get Away With Murder – S02E08 (Hi I’m Philip)

Yeah, you can all proceed to breathe easy now. It was a total Psych! Ollie is alive, people! So now that that’s out of the way…

Flash-forward time! So last week’s final flash-forward ended with ADA Sinclair’s brain matter dancing shoki on the marble floor. This week’s, I assume, kicks off right after that scene happened. Everyone is mad at Connor for some reason. Laurel is all “You seriously thought we wouldn’t notice? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?” Bonnie (coming down the stairs) reprimands Connor and tells him the “decision has already been made, so either get on board or you’re the next dead body OUT THERE.” She looks at Wes and says, “Give it to me.” Wes hands her the gun he’s been holding and she walks off.

This is all very curious and I have like a thousand questions. But the first one is: Where was Asher when all this was happening?

Then, we move to three days earlier (look at that! Our two timelines are almost merging), and Bonnie McChurchmouse is having the saddest shower in the history of life. She’s also having flashbacks to her fight with Annalise. Asher calls her phone but the shower is obviously more important.

Cut to Annalise. What’s pretty dope about this scene is that it’s so obvious how broken she is and she still puts a smile on her face, takes a selfie and sends it to her mum, pretending that everything is okay. The illusion of social media in general is real yo! Side note: Annalise’s selfie game is on point.

As this is going on, Detective ‘You can grate cheese on my abs’ shows up all drunk and shii. He manspreads on Annalise’s sofa, and has this sad, needy look on his face. Translation: he wants the bootay. Surprisingly though and to her credit, Annalise turns him down and says business downstairs is closed until he truly forgives her.

Then, Oliver is seen stammering to Murder Cousin that he is sorry they catfished him, but that he and Connor liked him and they only wanted a threesome. And without missing a beat or taking a breath from that sentence, Sweet Oliver starts begging for Murder Cousin not to kill him. LMAO! These children seriously need to learn how to lie, because they all suck at it, apart from Laurel of course. Perhaps, there should be a spin-off show titled “How to tell a lie on the spot and look like a bad-ass bitch doing it.”

Connor gets to the apartment and sees the mess, and with no sign of Oliver, he is naturally panicked and heads over to Annalise’s and gathers the gang…apart from Asher, lol. They all argue over whether they should call the po-po or not. And just as Oga Nate is making the call, Oliver shows up. Obviously he’s been raised well, because he doesn’t appear alone; he shows up with MURDER COUSIN, who is looking even creepier than usual.

So apparently Ollie and Murder Cousin went across the street to the soup place to “talk”. So is that why you couldn’t close your fridge, eh Oliver? What is wrong with all this “kidnapped” people and their knack for never closing their fridge? Mtchew!

Anyway, Murder Cousin tells the gang that he isn’t even related to Murder Brother and Sister. He says he knows his birth parents, and that they live in Iowa. He says he has always been a weirdo but that doesn’t make him a KILAAH. Fair Point, Murder Cousin. Fair Point. And just when I was beginning to see him as a better person, Murder Cousin decided he wants to press charges or sue. Lol! Shey you people are seeing, eh? So someone cannot spy on this bros without him vexing again? People of nowadays sef. Well, Nate being nice all of a sudden (he must really want that Annalise’s booty) volunteers to follow Murder Cousin, and you know, SPY on him some more.

They also get Murder Cousin’s straw and are going to be testing it to see if his DNA will match the unidentified DNA from the murder scene.

I have to wonder, though, if the Murder Siblings truly want to stay out of jail, because their actions in this episode suggest they might just wanna take a peep in the prison to confirm if orange truly is the new black. So, soon-to-be-dead ADA, being the evil bitch that she is (don’t mind me, she is just doing her job, but we are supposed to hate her, so…) offers the siblings a plea deal. Annalise tells them not to take it oh! She told them oh! And what does Murder Brother do? He decided that he is the one that Enrique Iglesias was singing about in his song Hero, and decides to take the deal. All 30 years, so his sister would serve no time.

Meanwhile, ADA Sinclair also bugged Annalise’s house (sigh, if she wasn’t already soon to be dead, I would have pushed her myself by now), and Asher, who was actually useful for once in this episode, figured it out and they played her by saying exactly what she wanted to hear. And sure enough, she shows up with her search warrant, feeling very smart, LOL. They search the Hapstall Murder Mansion and of course find nothing. The point of all this, other than to make the ADA look stupid, was to stall long enough for the time to run out on the plea deal offer.

With the plea deal offer for Murder Brother gone, what happens next? Murder Sister decides she ma sef wants to be a Hero baby, and takes the deal so her brother would serve no time. You see, I would find this sweet and endearing, if it wasn’t so annoying and irritating. Arrgh!

In the nick of time, at the Murder Sister’s hearing, Frank comes in with DNA results from the test that he took virtually all episode to get, and Annalise shows Murder Sister the results, and it convinces her to sit the fuck down and shut up.

So what did the DNA results really say? Well, Murder Cousin’s DNA really did match the DNA at the Murder Mansion. Oh, that and the fact that it shows he is a product of incest, a la Joffery Lannister! That’s right, people! Dead racist aunt was boinking her brother, the father to the Murder Siblings. Seriously, how messed up is this family?

And then, what follows is a classic HTGAWM sex montage, and it has all the LUVAHHHSSS. Michaela finally gets some of that Murder Brother beef. Laurel and Frank are as usual. Detective ’36 abs’ finally gets to know Annalise’s booty. Connor and Oliver get busy in the LECTURE HALL!

Aaaaaaand then, there was Wes…who was studying? He stares at the painting that Murder Sister gifted him, and realises he has seen it somewhere before. Of course he runs to Annalise’s to spill the tea, and there, he checks the picture they have of Murder Cousin, the one from Oliver’s computer when he was hacking him. Lo and behold, behind Murder Cousin is one of Murder Sister’s paintings. Meaning those two know each other and are obviously up to something.

At the same time, post coitus, due to the power of Michaela’s sexual prowess, Murder Brother decides to come clean and show Michaela the murder weapon, a gun hidden in a vent. And he says, “I found it here LAST WEEK. What if she killed them?”

Cut to Murder Sister in her car, looking all scared and shii, and someone enters the passenger seat and of course, it’s Murder Cousin. And he says to her, “Don’t worry, I’m gonna take care of this.”

Other Tidbits:

• Laurel was the new Bonnie in this episode, and dare I say she was an even better Bonnie than Bonnie. No surprise there though; Laurel is superwoman.
• Asher is adorable and everything, and he was useful in this episode, but a new Frank he most definitely is not. The quickness with which Annalise dismisses her employees when they can’t accomplish one task though… It’s like all the previous hard work immediately doesn’t matter.
• Oliver might be safe but I am still low-key worried about the dude and this his new thirst for dangerous shii. He goes to talk to a person he suspects of murder, leaving his front door open, milk spilled on the floor, forgetting his phone. Very irresponsible stuff.
• What game is Murder Brother playing here, showing Michaela a gun he found “two weeks ago” and looking all worried, asking if Murder Sister really did it? Are we sure he isn’t just diverting suspicion away from himself?
• Seriously Bonnie, how long does it take you to shower? Geez! You were missed in this episode.
• Did Murder Cousin kill his birth mother (dead racist aunt)? I think so.
• I wonder how much cash is in that Frank’s suitcase. Yo, Frank, can I borrow your suitcase?
• Murder Brother has been getting on my nerves the last couple of weeks. Just busy shouting anyhow: How dare you? Who do you think you are? We should have fired you, blah-blah-blah! Bitch, please, get off your high horse! Without Annalise and co, your ass would be headed to jail with the quickness.

Rating: 6/10 – This was a build-up episode, one of those slower episodes that need to happen before the main showdown. We didn’t get a case of the week (Thank God, because it would have been too distracting). Not a bad episode, but pretty meh for HTGAWM’s standard. Next week, we finally get to see who shot Annalise and hopefully who really killed ADA Sinclair. And most importantly, WHAT THE FUCK EVERYONE WAS DOING AT THE MANSION THAT NIGHT!

TOP 5 FAVORITE MOMENTS FROM TV THIS WEEK

LADY MARY AND THE COLOR GREEN (Downton Abbey): It’s been bittersweet slowly saying goodbye to the wonderful British period drama, Downton Abbey, the last couple of weeks. On one hand, I don’t want the show to end; on the other, I understand that the show should go out on a high note, before it overstays its welcome. As the years on the show have rolled by, various characters have obviously evolved and progressed, some faster than others. Lady Mary is one character that I have never been a fan of, but she too had evolved while still maintaining the foundation that makes her character tick. That was until last week’s episode, where the character made a massive move backwards.

Her sister, Lady Edith has had to take a backseat to Mary for most, if not all, of their lives #MiddleChildSyndrome. But the moment it began to look like Edith might finally get her moment in the spotlight and be happy, the wonderful Mary took it upon herself to wear the color green and ruin her sister’s happiness. If she couldn’t be happy (which was through no one’s fault but hers, by the way), then there was no way she was about to let her sister be. It was a selfish and despicable thing to do to Edith, who is one of the unluckiest characters in the history of Television. And yet the producers rewarded Mary with a happy ending, while leaving Edith out in the cold. The series finale airs on December 25th as a Christmas special. Here is to hoping Lady Edith finally gets what she more than deserves, because at this point, it’s the fair and human thing to do.

SUPERGIRL’S DISGUISE (Supergirl): I get that this is a comic book show and hence logic isn’t going to necessarily be a priority here, but seriously, they should get Supergirl a better disguise. On the shows, Arrow and The Flash, they wear masks and distort their voice; sure, it doesn’t completely make them unrecognizable, but we at least get that an attempt to protect the identity is made. Having Kara just on her costume, take her glasses off and fly around doing her heroics in front of cameras, and not having anyone recognize her is completely unbelievable. What’s super unbelievable is having Cat Grant, who is supposed to be this awesome-journalist-boss-bitch, speak to Supergirl and expect us to believe that she doesn’t recognize her as her bumbling nerdy assistant.

VAMPIRES GET PREGNANT NOW? (The Vampire Diaries): You have got to admire the effort, but Julie Plec and the writers on Vampire Diaries tried it. When Caroline Forbes’ portrayer, Candice Accola, announced before the Season 7 premiere that she was pregnant, the show was left with two options that plenty shows before it have had to deal with – write the pregnancy into the show or write around it. With this character being a vampire and thus being technically dead and everything, making the pregnancy part of the show was a stretch. Add to the fact that the baby no be her own sef. Currently Caroline is with Stefan, so impregnating her with the children of her former teacher, Alaric, is weird as fuck. And this was done without her CONSENT. What’s also weird is realizing that Caroline and Alaric actually become romantically involved in the future. Nice try, Julie Plec.

LET LESBIANS BE LESBIANS (EMPIRE): Empire has always had its faults, but it had always been entertaining for me. I mean, it’s a mess, but an entertaining one. Unfortunately, the last couple of episodes this season have ensured that the show is slowly veering into the zone where it has become a chore to watch; but that’s a story for another day. Last week, the lesbian character on the show, Mimi Whiteman helps Luscious to shadily secure a deal with a streaming service. To celebrate, they decide…to have a threesome? With one of the girls they had chosen from the club. Hmmm, okay. So threesome starts and they are both drunk and shii and Mimi is making out with Luscious; it’s a threesome after all, so that’s to be expected. But notice how the scene ended without Mimi (a lesbian oh) sharing even a kiss with the girl they had brought in. This scene once again low-key lends credence to that antigay opinion that lesbians are cute and kissy but are all just waiting for a man to give them a good dicking.

So Empire, let me ask this: it’s completely plausible for the homophobe and the lesbian to make out, but not for said lesbian and an actual girl to? Lee Daniels and Danny Strong, you guys no try at all. Also, am I meant to believe that in all the sexing that Cookie and her new squeeze have been sexing, that she hasn’t noticed the cowboy tattoo on his back and run toward the opposite direction? Or does she not know what the tattoo means? Also, what the heck was that with Hakeem hooking up with Anika the moment he was released from his kidnappers two weeks ago? I don’t understand oh! Somebody please help me understand. TENKIU!

WEIRD CAMPAIGN STRATEGY (THE GOOD WIFE): So what exactly was the point of having Peter Florrick’s presidential announcement look exactly like Obama’s? I didn’t get Ruth’s obsession with it. And is she seriously what Peter dumped ELI GOLD for? Seriously? Oh and why hire the faboo Margo Martindale on your show if you’re going to give her such a bland character to work with. And again with the NSA storyline?! I swear, it’s just like Scandal‘s B6-13 storyline; I want it gone, but just when it looks like I have gotten my wish, the resilient crap shows up again.

HONORABLE MENTION – JAKE BALLARD ON POINT (SCANDAL): If the point of introducing Jake’s “wife” this season was to kill her off and thus make Jake likeable, then congratulations, it’s working. I have never been a fan of Jake Ballard. I have always thought the character has overstayed his welcome and should have been written off the show after the second season. But he has been on point for some weeks now. And has been calling Olivia out, because someone has to! This part, Olivia says, “My gut says he is telling the truth (in reference to her father)”, and Jake replies, “Of course it does, otherwise you’d be a fool with daddy issues who just got played by a mass murderer.” GBAM! And then this part where he says, “You were supposed to be too good for me! It never crossed my mind that I would be too good for you.” LOL! I think you’re reaching now, Jake, but you’re on a roll, so we’ll let that one go.

And did you guys see how Fitz forgave Olivia with the quickness, but kicked Mellie out of the White House last season. I swear, Olivia could kill all his children and cut off his nipples, and she will still have the spineless idiot wrapped around her finger. Oh and since when are we supposed to care if someone wants to Kill Eli Pope?

IN TV NEWS:

1. So I don’t know if anyone here was watching the new ABC show, Wicked City, starring Gossip Girl alum, Ed Weswick aka Chuck Bass. If you were, then sorry, because the show is officially the first cancellation of the new fall season. And only after 3 episodes! Ouch! Poor Wicked City, learning harsh realities that the world of TV and Hollywood truly is…WICKED!
2. So Madam cum Her Royal Highness the Queen of TV, Shonda Rhimes, was on the nightly show and was asked, “Have you ever killed off a character because you didn’t like the actor?” And she replied, “Yes, and I’m not naming names.” Ghen-ghen! I wonder who it was. Considering the amount of characters she has killed off on Grey’s Anatomy, Scandal and Private Practice, it’s really hard to determine who it is. Could it be someone from Grey’s (Lexie Grey, Mark Sloane, Derek Sheppard, George O’Malley, Denny Ducket), or Scandal (Harrison, or James, i.e. Cyrus’s husband) or is it Tim Daly’s character from Private Practice? Hmmm.

Written by Deola