Every Straight Guy’s Conundrum

Every Straight Guy’s Conundrum

So a male Facebook acquaintance of mine recently updated the post below on his Timeline.FB1

That’s it. The end. No elaboration of how he discovered this information. Just him wondering aloud on what to do with his discovery. And below are some of the comments that trailed the update.FB2FB3

And now, I’m throwing this to you guys. What if you discovered that that guy that your sister or female BFF is seeing is actually gay, what would you do?

Next The Letter To My Family

About author

You might also like

Editor's Desk 11 Comments

Who Else Expected Benedict Bridgerton To Be Gay?

Netflix premiered what has quickly become a smash-hit TV series, Bridgerton, which is a steamy period romance set in Regency-era England and based on Julia Quinn’s eponymous novel series. The

Editor's Desk 14 Comments

8 Standout Performances in TV for 2015

Originally published on out.com This year was undoubtedly a packed year for scripted LGBT content. From Netflix to ABC, queer stories permeated every corner of TV. Of course, there were

Our Stories 6 Comments


Somebody recently reminded you of a good friend you used to have. A female friend. A very lovely girl, whose smile possessed the wattage that endeared her to many, and


  1. evans
    January 02, 06:00 Reply

    If my sister is happy with him, dey shld continue na buh nt to marriage extent cos most tbs are cunny!

  2. Queer Mike
    January 02, 06:15 Reply

    Oh No!!! Pinkyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy *Face palm*

  3. Queer Mike
    January 02, 06:20 Reply

    I have strong reservations about this post. Pink panther I’m sure you know what I mean

    • pinkpanthertb
      January 02, 06:36 Reply

      If you like, reserve from now till you turn into a reservoir, this is an LGBT issue and here on Kito Diaries, Ayam not looking at anyone’s face.By face, I mean the object of your reservation. 😀

  4. Dennis Macauley
    January 02, 06:27 Reply

    If she is homophobic, I will sit by and watch till her cookie crumbles and I will smile and sip orijin!

    I hooked up a girl who tried to out me in school with an Ex of mine! They have done their traditional marriage, the church wedding is in February and I am a groom’s man!

    Sometimes pay back is a bitch!

    ***sips whisky like Conrad Grayson***

    • Paul
      January 02, 06:33 Reply

      Hahaha Lwkm
      U r jst too vindictive.
      I cnt jst imagine hw she’d feel wen she finds out.

      • Dennis Macauley
        January 02, 06:38 Reply

        I am vindictive! I don’t pretend about it. She found messages on my phone back in school and went to broadcast it! My then gf refuted it and fought her over it! The rumor died down, but she has been on my “people to destroy” list since then!

        When an (older) Ex was being pressured for marriage and he wanted to marry anybody who was working and pretty, I introduced them and voila! They clicked!

        They even made me a groom’s man for the wedding LOL!

        She will find out eventually (they end up finding out anyway) and she will confront me and I will take her down memory lane in a pink Limousine!

        What again do they say about revenge being served cold?

      • Paul
        January 02, 07:01 Reply

        U may even give d toast @ d reception since u saw it begin.
        I’m still laughing here @ d whole scenario
        D cane d devil will use in flogging some has been soaked in water long ago.

      • Dennis Macauley
        January 02, 08:54 Reply

        Ofcourse I am doing the toast! The groom told me already!

        I’m laughing hard at the thought already!

        I am going to hell na, I have accepted that since LOL

    • Lothario
      January 04, 08:58 Reply

      But Dennis, Na wa for you! Down memory lane in a pink limo…..that’s a good one!

  5. Paul
    January 02, 06:28 Reply

    I had a colleague who flaunted ds new BF on bbm like kilode.
    We couldn’t breathe a second witout “bae ds” “boo dat”
    Immediately I saw his pix d alarms buzzd in my head.I askd a few questions abt him n d alarms rang louder. I showed a few pals n I tink 1 knew him n odas saw wat was obvious
    But I knew it wasn’t any of my biz to cut her joy short. I jst crossd my legs n watched tins unfold.
    I askd her recently abt our lovely boo n wen she narrated d breakup n reasons, I jst smiled inwardly and told her-“HE JST WASN’T INTO U. She’s beggd dt I say more bt ignorance is bliss often.
    #mypoint- its not ur bizness.if talk dey hungry U,call customer care.

    • pinkpanthertb
      January 02, 06:33 Reply

      if talk dey hungry U,call customer care.
      Hahahahahahahahaa!!! Classic.

    • Airdeecan
      January 02, 09:32 Reply

      Hahahahhahahaaa….Customer care its hilarious.

    • Peak
      January 02, 11:44 Reply

      @Paul I am actually surprised to learn that u didn’t squeal to the girl as soon as u found out, since u ve always portrayed urself as the “defender of the clueless /innocent girl” here

    • Dom
      January 02, 12:26 Reply

      Oh, my days. ‘If talk dey hungry you call customer care.’ Pinky, shay you heard.

  6. KyrxxX
    January 02, 06:46 Reply

    *Face palm* This is a million dollar question! Am super confused on what to do cos one day I know I would be forced to date just becos of marriage(I don’t really have a choice.). *Super confused state*
    Maybe I would just allow them continue nd hope her praying skills which she is always rubbing in my face reveals to her d unknown.

    • DeadlyDarius
      January 02, 10:22 Reply

      Yes oh. Let her pray. The Holy Spirit will reveal it to her *sipping cappuccino*

  7. My Chemical Romance
    January 02, 06:54 Reply

    I don’t think the guy is in the right position to tell the girl. What is the big deal about it sef? If they are both in love let them be. If the girl is actually genuinely happy, let her be. There are some girls that love someone to the extent of not minding if he is gay or even HIV positive, all the want is to be close to that person.

    Also, if you are worried about him cheating on her, that is not an issue. At least people in straight relationship also cheat despite the level of love and affection. So, if that is a problem, leave it at that. Except you think the guy is not good enough for her or maybe he is not responsible. But if it is just his sexuality that is his problem, abeg free am joor, at least most of us are going to be in that position soon…

    • Paul
      January 02, 07:04 Reply

      Sometimes being too forward in ds tins is jst a way to bring out urself.
      If I’m d GF d first question I’d ask u is how did u know? N if I’m d guy I’d turn it on ur head dt u made advances @ me and dt ds is jst cheap blackmail.
      Let’s c who ends up ashamed and with Jokajelly sandals( kito is too cheap) @ d end of d day.

    • Ace
      January 02, 07:25 Reply

      I totally agree with you chemical romance. Don’t try to fix what is not broken…YET! Hell, it may never break and you don’t want to be the killer of something that may have turned out great.

  8. Mr Kassy
    January 02, 07:11 Reply

    Mydear there is no need telling her because it will worsen the whole issue and u may end up outing urrself too.What am I even saying?Gay men make the best of husbands except in the sex issue.In my case I am gonna search carefully for one of those women who hate sex and thinks its a dirty act#shikina….yes I am crafty like that.Maybe entering her FCT may be 3times only since I plan on having only 3kids…Ooooops!!!! Did I just reveal my plans?

    • pinkpanthertb
      January 02, 07:13 Reply

      Don’t worry. Heaven approves. It shall be well with you as you hunt that woman down.

  9. `Fabian.
    January 02, 07:16 Reply


    It depends. If she knows I’m gay, I’ll tell her he’s gay. If she doesn’t, I’d let her discover his sexuality onwards. Although, it may come back to haunt I. (Like, “So you know he’s gay and you couldn’t tell me?” “What kind of a brother/bff are you?” *sobing*) Well,


  10. Oluwadamilare Okoro
    January 02, 07:18 Reply

    I agree with chemical romance. If the sexuality is the only problem then you should let the relationship be.
    You wouldn’t want to be the one to cut her joy short or “add sand-sand to their garri”

  11. Bane
    January 02, 07:22 Reply

    If he’s hot, I am not telling jack shit! We can fuck steady.

    If he’s not, I am telling big time. It’s all about me.

    If my friend hates gay guys or has pissed me off in the past, I am definitely not telling…

    …at least till the exact day after her wedding.

    • KyrxxX
      January 02, 07:31 Reply

      And they said we still have good ppl in this world abi? Issoright…………..

    • pinkpanthertb
      January 02, 07:32 Reply


      BANE! Hahahahahaaaa!!! Talk about vindictiveness!

  12. Lemuel
    January 02, 07:31 Reply

    Well, we shouldn’t forget there r bisexuals. If they are happy in the relationship then nothing concern me. My interest in my sister’s happiness. Unless the boy batters her thats wen I can come in. How sure am I that my sister is not lesbian? I dnt even need talk to my sister. If my aproko come too much I could talk to boy nd we go begin Jones abt it. Period.

  13. gad
    January 02, 07:35 Reply

    It’s not a big deal and I’m talking from experience. The simple ingredients a marriage needs to succeed are acceptance of both families as yours,honesty,respect,responsibility,empathy ,love.Yes, love but not love as most of us here knows it.

  14. Chizzie
    January 02, 07:36 Reply

    I’d tell her, I owe it to her to tell her the truth as a friend. Mostly for her own safety. Safety because we’ve had issues here were married men have in indulged in indiscriminate bareback orgies putting there wife at risk of contracting terminal illnesses, im not saying all bisexual men are that careless. but when the chips are down Bisexual men and gay men in general are more at risk at getting HIV and HPV (warts) especially the latter, HPV in particular can be really disastrous for women, as it increases their risk of having cervical cancer. And condoms do not protect against it.

    so I’d rather my friend or sister is with a straight man. Health wise she’s less at risk

    I don’t think anything that goes into the ass of a man should go into the vagina of a woman, I just dont.

    I have a friend who’s HIV positive, his boyfriend is aware of his status but they are still very much together. Theyve had unprotected sex a couple of times but his bf insists he’s negative- which I find interesting. Now his bf is about getting married to a girl. in ways I feel bad for the girl cause there’s a high likelihood that the man she is getting married to is HIV positive and in denial about it. I wish someone would tell her.

    • My Chemical Romance
      January 02, 07:43 Reply

      Now this is crazy and totally different….

      I think the most you can do is to try and tell the girl to insist on doing HIV test. At least most churches makes that part of the requirements. In fact you do the test in the church’s clinic and you don’t get to see the result…anything that involves health should not be toyed with.

      Anyway, I also know some people who insists on condom…no matter how conji take reach…no condom, no sex…

      I still wonder why people still have sex without condoms…

      • Ace
        January 02, 08:18 Reply

        I am an everlasting fan of condoms oh! Bareback is scary! The day you have catarrh or cough, your mind will just fly. Fear and restlessness will keep haunting you. Please my brothers, forget what you see in porn flicks oh! Use a condom.

    • gad
      January 02, 08:02 Reply

      If this is not homophobia(internal or external) ‘ I don’t know what to call it. Chizy my dear are you saying that bisexuals should choose either gayship or straightship? Tomorrow we will start preaching freedom of choice. May I inform you that it’s a requirement to get tested for HIV before knots are tied.

      • Chizzie
        January 02, 08:13 Reply

        Its not just HIV Gad, its also HPV like I’ve pointed out. Its the most common STD in the gay community and condoms do not protect against it; and like I mentioned,it increases a woman’s risk of having cervical cancer 10fold..Many gay men carry the virus but do not show any symptoms and are completely oblivious about it and can easily pass it down to their girlfriends regardless of whether they use condoms or not. And she in turn will either get the warts ( which are really horrible and hard to rid off on a vagina) or she gets the virus which predisposes her to cervical cancer. All of this would have been avoided if she’d been with a straight man. I think bisexual men should really stick to one hole

        • gad
          January 02, 09:03 Reply

          I submit that you are entitled to your fears and opinions. I wont push it but thank God for the future. It has a way of engraving the truth on marbles

    • simba
      January 02, 10:31 Reply

      Chizzle dear,.. he musnt be HIV positive… even tho they barebacked….. but nobody should take tht risk

  15. Deola
    January 02, 07:45 Reply

    Talking about bareback orgies is so last year Chizzie. You gotta move on and let that shit go abeg.

  16. Vhar.
    January 02, 07:51 Reply


    This is it.
    My Bestfriend is a Girl. She knows about my sexuality. We talk about everything.
    She’s presently with me at my Mother’s house for the Holiday.
    We slept on the bed.
    She’s still beside me.
    She has her legs splayed all over my hard-on.

    I find out her Man is gay? I tell.
    Not letting a “Fam” member suffer.


  17. Nuel
    January 02, 07:55 Reply

    If its a Bff i shall zip my mouth till death do us part. On the other hand if my sister is in dat shoe….. I shall have a discussion with they guy, he should leave my sis no heart feelings. My sis will only cry for somewhile buh its gonna pass. Cos i can’t just sit and see d guy wreck my sis, its better to end tinz early then when she had gone down d road. I knw my sis she will hate men nd hate me too cos i knew all along.

  18. Oluwadamilare Okoro
    January 02, 08:04 Reply

    *takes a step back*

    I see words like “suffer”, “wreck” and I wonder where they are coming from… are we saying that all gay or bisexual men that get married are irresponsible?

    I beg to differ. Are we saying if she’s with a straight guy then she is free from HIV coz he would always use a condom when cheating and fucking all his hoes??? :s

    Like I said earlier, it depends on the person involved. If he is responsible and make my friend/sister happy… biko I let them be.

    *drops pen and sips tea* 🙂

    • Sheldon Cooper
      January 02, 08:37 Reply

      Okoro thank you! Most HIV patients I know are straight.
      I can only tell my friend/sister if the guy in question is an Asshole! That’s if he’s not caring and loving.
      The guy could be bi.
      Just don’t put your nose where it doesn’t belong.

    • Vhar.
      January 02, 08:58 Reply

      Oluwadamilare Okoro, I used the word “Suffer” because that’s what will happen “when” She finds out. My BFF or whatever can’t be used as a beard (unless she consents to it) Or some cover-up for your sexuality because you want to follow the norms of the society.

      I’m not getting married.
      Not because I hate virginas.
      On the contrary, my dick bobbles when I see a “bae”. A beautiful “bae”.

      But I can’t and will not put a lady through that “shenanigan” act because I will always choose a dick/ass over her warm pussy.


      • Vhar.
        January 02, 09:59 Reply

        How so P?

        Tough is for self-professed big girls…
        Or bitches.

        I’m neither.
        Its no good spit-shinning facts na.

  19. brynix
    January 02, 08:16 Reply

    In the words of glee’s Mercedes ‘Hell to the no’……. I’m not about to let my sister or my BFF live a life of constructed lies.
    My sister and I close… Sure she doesn’t know about my sexuality but what kind of brother would I be if she’s in love with someone who she knows nothing about… Plus I don’t believe that the nigga won’t cheat on her……. So why let her suffer.
    My BFF on the other hand, well I don’t wanna risk her finding out I know about it….. Cause she packs a punch Madea would be proud of. Best I tell her and let her settle it with the guy

  20. Max
    January 02, 08:47 Reply

    It’s quite funny going through the comments section.
    As for me, I’ll just look away. They’ll find out eventually. Telling her will be putting myself at risk. And to all those asiri(amebo) people who wanna tell, remember 90% of you here will eventually get married to a lady and have probably left a body trail in the past. So someone who knows the girl you wanna settle with will tell her too. Imagine how you’ll feel. #SomethingToThinkAbout

    • Dennis Macauley
      January 02, 09:00 Reply

      My dear! My exact sentiments! Why tell? Just look away.
      Like I did!

      And straight men also indulge in bareback orgies and still transmit diseases!

      • enigmous
        January 02, 09:18 Reply

        DM you have to cum at it with your last sentence, no?

        Ok, kontinu.

        Me? Tell? For what kwanu? I would rather eat sausages, those big big ones, to keep my mouth very busy.

  21. Absalom
    January 02, 09:09 Reply

    I’ve got 3 sisters and no brother. I’ve already made peace with the possibility that one of them will marry a gay man anyway.

    Question now is, if I know.

    Truth is, I will not be as bothered about his sexuality as I would be about how he perceives his sexuality. I hope he’s not one of those terribly traumatised by the rank homophobia in these parts he can’t even think straight; I hope he’s not one of those who sees his sexuality as an affliction or a quittable habit; I hope he’s not one of those who promote all kinds of discrimination and shallow ideas within the gay comnunity; I hope he’s in a good place as regards self-acceptance and realises the gravity of what he’s about to do and – given a different environment – wouldn’t do it. I hope he’s not one of those who think all gay men should marry women anyway and fulfil all of society’s obligations.

    Once he satisfies all these criteria then he has my vote, because I understand. Because I know my sister will be marrying a good man – his heart and head are in the right place.

    Now…what if he’s none of the things mentioned above? My honest answer is: I don’t know what I’d do. I don’t believe in breaking “bad news” to the ignorant party in a relationship; never have, hope never to. Secondly, I don’t see how I’d chase the guy away from my sister without coming across as insensitive and callous… Plus there’s my sister’s feelings to consider as well.

    I don’t know what I’d do, tbh.

    Meanwhile, I was discussing this issue with a friend last week and he said it’s important that we come out to our sisters so that as they sort through the dating pool, they are prepared and observant, to prevent complicated situations such as this. An advice I plan on acting on very soon.

    • gad
      January 02, 09:48 Reply

      How do you intend to extract answers to those posers of yours. Draft a questionnaire for him to fill? As for coming out to your sisters for the purposed of preparing their minds for the future,its laughable. I really don’t see the need but if you must; look before you leap

  22. DeadlyDarius
    January 02, 10:33 Reply

    There’s a girl who is a friend of mine and on my bbm. Smart (med student), pretty girl. From time to time she’s ‘luvving’ up on her dps with a cute model guy/actor/presenter who I KNOW is gay. However its not my place to tell her….maybe cos we aren’t so close. If it were a closer pal or my sister, I’m not sure if I’d remain silent. Its a tough choice

  23. Dom
    January 02, 12:17 Reply

    I wouldn’t sit and watch my sister or lady bff date a gay guy. I wouldn’t tell her but I’d tell the guy to walk the hell away.

    • gad
      January 02, 15:10 Reply

      Can u tell us why?

      • gad
        January 02, 16:53 Reply

        Going by the comments coming in here, many seem to have the mind set that something is wrong with being bisexual. To borrow their thoughts, being bisexual is garnished with deceit and bad luck. They seem to have accepted this badluck for themselves but can’t bear to see it come near their sisters or friends. Pinky, it seems you still have a lot of work to do

      • gad
        January 02, 17:43 Reply

        Going by many of the comments here, it seems a lot of us see being bisexual as being deceitful and a bad luck that shouldn’t be allowed near our loved ones. It shows we have a long way to go. Pinky, you have a lot of work to do. On my own part I will keep spewing out my old school ideas no matter how unpopular

  24. victor
    January 02, 12:40 Reply

    That’s a serious question. You just can marry anyother girl but not my sister,sorry, I will make her know but I won’t be the one to tell it, just create a new fbook and coment on my sister and her boyfriends photo outing him or sending her a message from a payphone, she might not believe but bcome more observant,check his chat history and the rest cos there must be sometin to give him off, so I would just be at the bedroom door waiting for the arguement while playing the good adviser to my sister. That’s my truth,dnt come for me please,I’m just a little boy

    • Lord II
      January 02, 12:55 Reply

      Lol!!! Don’t worry son…we won’t!!!

    • Colossus
      January 02, 14:06 Reply

      Then you have some growing up to do? Ask these James Bond waka just to out someone? It is not well

  25. IVANKO
    January 02, 15:16 Reply

    Will warn him To stay away from her to avoid unnecessary wahala and If he refuse I will tell her, I can’t live a lIe with anyone sIs and I expect d same…

  26. trystham
    January 02, 17:22 Reply

    If it were my sister, I will know at that point that my outing to my family is imminent. I’d tell her before he casts me and then go ahead to stop their relationship.
    If its a friend, any body I have termed ‘friend’ is as close as family. She has to know. If she decides to be homophobic (of which all my friends are liberal) at least she’d b thankful I saved her a heartache. I bet she will come asking me to veto her subsequent BFs. Homophobia or not.

  27. trystham
    January 02, 17:38 Reply

    WAIT!!! All y’all ‘look the other way’ers. Y’all know how u ppl cannot keep the lid on when u see ur friend’s BF go in to the toilet TO PEE d same time another fine dude does without telling half of Lagos. Its your SISTER oooo. ABEGEEE!!! UNA DEY LIE!!!
    And as for the Bisexuality quoters, u n I both know that He will never be into ur sister…except for ‘breeding n continuity’ of course and not for the love u r touting o. The bros IS gay NOT bisexual. Chai!!! The conversion rates when we are in denial sha. Bottom becomes a top, gay becomes bisexual…smh

    • pinkpanthertb
      January 03, 03:25 Reply

      bisexuality is real. it’s a fact. I don’t get people who like to see sexuality as black and white. People who don’t believe someone can be either strictly bottom or strictly top; people who think versatiles are simply bottoms trying to be cool; people who believe that bisexuals are gay men lying to themselves. These distinctions exist. Deal with it.

  28. Dominic Obioha
    January 02, 18:32 Reply

    And all this on the assumption that a bi (I don’t know about the exclusive gay) cannot truly love and have a healthy sex life with a girl is based on what research abeg? All these patriotic abi loving brothers that can’t stand their sisters marrying a bi guy abeg calm down before your temperature reaches 10000celcius. Yes I’m bisexual, I am dating your sister, don’t sweat it: I already told her that and she confessed she’s done stuff with girls too. So bring it on and watch it turn on your head. Did I sense some traces of jealousy from the exclusive gay guys cos others can have good sex with both sexes? *cats walks away with my engagement ring*

    • Lord II
      January 02, 20:05 Reply

      Way to go Dominic.

      I just realised that KD really isn’t all about one’s own preferences and liberties…at least not yet. So if you ‘re not gay or bottom or single (as most pipo who comment here are) as opposed to bi, top and married you r not REALLY dat welcome here as much yet!! Or no…

      Ok if you all say not true…then how come more than half of you all want to OUT your half brother just coz he wants a home and kids.


      But am convinced we shall rise…grow more and mature and just maybe get to understand the bisexuals and Co. amongst us.

      • s_sensei
        January 03, 00:16 Reply

        Sadly, there is an element of truth in this comment

      • Chuck
        January 03, 04:34 Reply

        Lying is the problem, not bisexuality. Lord, I don’t see why you want everyone to endorse your behaviour. You married a woman and you’re cheating on her. Cheating is bad. Orgies are dangerous. That’s all.

  29. sommy harolds
    January 02, 23:03 Reply

    And who says she won’t possibly take it,deal with it and then live with it,some women are incredibly understanding thereby making you amebo the destroyer…my take #let sleeping dogs snore.

Leave a Reply