HIS KITO STORY (EDITION 19)
It was December, 2014. I was done with semester exams. I was trying hard to quell the adventurous feelings associated with this freedom.
Well, maybe not so hard.
I came across a respectable looking user on Manjam who was interested. Since I hadn’t hooked up with anyone in close to five months prior to the time – much less an older person – I engaged him. We soon got talking on the phone. His name was Chisom and he lived in Asaba, Delta State. We spoke about a lot of things – friends, family, background and dreams, every day for three weeks, and we were both impressed by the each other’s intelligence.
Then, Chisom told me that his wife was travelling with the kids the week before Christmas and that he wanted me to come spend some time with him. I consulted with my gay friends; most of them told me to be careful and only one advised me not to go based on my unfamiliarity with that area. One other friend, Ralph, advised me to try confirming Chisom’s identity by checking out his social networks. But the ‘forty-five-year-old Chief’ Chisom said that he didn’t have time for social networks as he was the regional distributor for GP plastic water tanks (or something like that). At times, while on the phone with him, I would hear background noises that Chisom said were either made by his wife and kids or his friends.
Later on, my docility caved under the need for adventure. To back up whatever half-truth needed to be told, I took along some final year project questionnaires with the rationale that Chisom was a chief, and so could be of help in administering them to people.
I withdrew my transport fare, basically emptying the two bank accounts for which I had ATM cards. And on the Thursday before Christmas, I travelled to Asaba to have an adventure.
All through the journey, Chisom kept calling to monitor my progress. At some point, he told me that he wouldn’t be able to come and pick me up himself as his car had developed a fault. He told me that he had made other arrangements. I made it to Asaba around 1pm, and got to the entrance of the estate I was directed to. The fact that a female passenger also alighted from vehicle at the same point made me less wary. She was transported into the estate by one of the okada riders. The other riders asked me to get the directions to the house I was going, but I declined, as Chisom had told me that he’d send an okada to come pick me up. I described what I was wearing – a red-and-blue check shirt on cream trousers. Some minutes later, the okada man arrived. After ensuring that I was properly seated with my backpack, he proceeded to transport me to my worst experience ever.
As we moved into the estate, the absence of houses didn’t bother me at first, since I also lived in a developing area myself. I started worrying when he took a left turn off the main road onto a narrow pathway that could not have been motorable since it was quite bushy.
Maybe it was a shortcut, right?
Wrong!
He suddenly pulled up, and we were surrounded by two-and-a-half muscled men. The half muscle was carrying a local gun with a live round in it. After ensuring that I saw the live round, I was told not to make a sound and hurriedly escorted to a ‘safe’ spot while the okada man, who happened to be one of them, went to hide the motorcycle. Eventually, one of the two muscled guys spoke, and I found myself staring into the face of the person who’d always been on the other end of the line – the one who called himself Chief Chisom. He wasn’t forty-five years old and he didn’t look like a chieftain. He was in his mid-thirties and looked like most southern men of his age – hairy and muscular. They all looked like that, except for the guy with the gun who was relatively smaller. All the items on me where seized immediately; the backpack had been seized earlier when I was accosted. Because they all took different roles in my capture, I’m going to give them names – the Brain, the Transporter, the Nameless and the Gun. Brain, of course, was the person I had been speaking to; I soon came to discover that he could mimic many Nigerian accents.
I was stripped to my underwear. My vest was used to tie my hands behind my back and my trouser was dropped to my ankles to impede my movement if I chose to run. (I remembered thinking that I should stop seeing action movies; nothing I’d seen prepared me for the fear that gripped me)
Brain referred to me as Mister Gay Nigeria. I kept a straight face when he first mentioned it; obviously, this was no time to be impressed. Nameless tried operating my phone. Transporter stood guard, while Gun held the weapon pointed at me. Thankfully, the battery of my Blackberry Torch had depleted, so there was no way they could obtain my data or my social networks. My SIM card was taken out and inserted in Brain’s second phone. I was asked to give my parents’ phone numbers. When I hesitated, Gun delivered a punch to my face. I felt my brain going back and forth in my head as stars exploded before my eyes. Obviously, they meant business, so I dropped their mobile numbers.
My ATM cards were taken, my pin numbers too, even after I told them that those accounts were empty. Transporter and Nameless still went to confirm. My headphones, wallet which contained a little below two thousand naira, head-warmer, earpiece, perfume and a pair of shoes were also taken. Then, we moved to another ‘safe’ spot, where my parents were called.
Brain told them this story: “Your son was caught by my neighbour, doing it with another boy (Emeka). Both of them are here at the estate’s security post right now, naked and with condoms on them. Your son has been behaving like a girl since we caught them. We’ve taken the pictures of them, and the police will be coming to get them by 6pm except you bail your son with 200 thousand naira. Emeka’s father is here and he has agreed to pay 150 thousand, but we can’t release one without the other. So you must send money to your son’s account and we’ll take it from there.”
My parents of course didn’t believe any of that. Their son couldn’t possibly be in Asaba. Their son doesn’t behave like a girl. And their son most definitely doesn’t do boys. On my part, it took a lot of tearing up (mostly from the punches I was getting when the call wasn’t on), before I could convince my parents that I was actually in Asaba and that I did do those things. On Brain’s part, he had to act as four different people including Emeka’s father to further perfect the charade. At this point, besides the miserable state I was in, I was actually impressed by his performance. It was as if I was involved in a movie.
At some point, Ralph called my number and I told him about my situation. He was distraught. As all the calls were on loudspeaker, there was no way I could tell Ralph that I’d prefer if he didn’t get too involved. After Ralph’s call, Brain asked me if my friend was gay. I said, “No. But he knows I’m gay and that I was coming to Asaba.” That reply got me a few slaps and punches. (Call my loyalty misplaced but I will never tell a straight guy about another gay person, no matter what, I hope) He eventually believed me. (He’s not the only one who can act, I told myself)
I was told to tell my parents that it was the devil’s fault and beg for their cooperation. I did all that just to convince my captors that I was serious as well about getting released. I did all that knowing full well that that line could never be bought by my parents. I was brought up by seriously Christian parents that taught me about the power of choice. My mother would have delivered a life-threatening slap to my face if I was in her presence when I said that. My father told my captors that he was already on the way to Asaba, and when he got bugged with their consistent yammering about him paying in the money, he flared up and told the captors to hand me over to the police. He didn’t care anymore and he wasn’t going to pay any money. (He later told me that he’d have preferred I was with the police, that at least I’d be safe. On the other hand, my captors could kill me and bury my body in an unmarked grave, even with the payment). My mom stopped picking their calls; she was ill at the time so she couldn’t do much. All that took a long time, and then official banking hours were closed. They tried convincing my dad to transfer the money through other means. He declined, repeating that I should be handed over to the police. They made me beg and grovel on the phone, but he didn’t flinch.
All this time, Brain and I had been the only ones talking on the phone. The other three were just goofing around, taking turns to sleep, punching me and persuading me to beg ‘well well’. During a break from the calls, Brain showed me the sellotape he said they intended to use to wrap around my body, to prevent me from wriggling too much when they behead me, so they could sell my head. Nameless used a thick stick to hit me in front of both my knees. The pain was so excruciating that I remembered why I stopped playing soccer in the first place. When it became obvious that they weren’t going to get a dime and it had started getting dark, they decided to release me after a vicious beating delivered on my bare back by Nameless and Gun. The beating was EPIC! There was so much raw pain on my back that I bit the grass I’d been forced down on, just to try getting my mind off the pain. That didn’t work. What worked for me was the bottle. I don’t know who smashed the first bottle on my head. All I know is a Vitamilk bottle is really strong, as was the force that brought down the bottle on my head. The partial concussion I suffered from it took my mind off my pain, literally. And then, a second bottle was smashed on my head. The only reason my scalp was saved was because of the afro I had on at the time. My beautiful smooth back was defaced. (Later, when Ralph saw the pictures, he said I looked like my demon wings had been torn off).
They released me when they saw that they’d drawn enough blood. Then they gave me fifty bucks to get me to the nearest major junction. I was weak with pain. But hope that I’d make it out of all this alive kept me up. I got dressed and they led me to the main road and disappeared into the night.
I stumbled on along, dropping to the ground and getting back up several times, until I got an okada that agreed to take me to town. I told him I’d been kidnapped. And feeling compassion for me, he took care of me and waited up with me until about 2am when my father finally made it into Asaba. My father thanked him and we went to the garage where we’d board a vehicle back home. I slept a lot during the drive, as much as my tortured body and mind could let me. My father and I didn’t talk much until we arrived home the next afternoon on Friday. I took a bath, and thereafter, went to cut my hair. The barber asked me if I worked in a glass factory. I actually laughed at that.
Then, I got back home to face my family. I told them the truth about me getting kidnapped, and half-truths about what I went to do in Asaba.
When they asked if I was gay, I looked my father in the eye and said, “No, I’m not.” I had to connect to my passive heterosexuality and magnify it in my mind. It took a lot of convincing, but I undid the outing. I also dwelt on the fact that my captors told lies about everything, including my sexuality.
Why did I undo the kito? Maybe it was because the truth was given to my parents by liars. Maybe it was because my parents had come to trust me and I wanted to keep that trust. Maybe it was because I didn’t want any more psychological damage for them. Maybe it was because my father would probably have continued the beating if I said yes. I definitely didn’t want to find out the extent of my parents’ unconditional love, if there was an end to it. Maybe it was because I had willingly made my choice to remain mostly gay and I didn’t need any straight person having any ideas around me. I have come to know myself and I love myself unconditionally. I healed from that nightmare eventually, quickly though. My back, on the other hand, took several sessions of various treatments to heal without much scarring.
And every day, I thank God for my life and all the other things that were spared.
Written by Josh-Deity
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70 Comments
Kristopher
August 06, 07:52What a nasty experience… Bro I’m sorry for what you went through and wouldn’t even wish it on my worst enemy. That Asaba triangle na hot spot!
With that in mind, please what’s really the essence of sharing Kito stories? Is it for us to feel pity for the victim, to learn about ways of avoiding scammers, revealing their identities to save future victims or all of the above?
Now tell me, how will this story here prevent another victim from falling into the trap if the details are obscured? I think there should be a criteria for anyone intending to tell their kito story on here to give a life line in terms of exposing the true identities of the scammers. Some readers on here have connections and you don’t know who just might be reading this, that may have powers to stop the scammers in their tracks…. If not, we will keep reading remorseful stories and saying the cliche “Eyahhhh”….
Mandy
August 06, 08:01More than three quarter of the time, Kristopher, the victims never know the true identity of their assaulters. And on previous kito stories, PP has proven that he is not shy about publishing names and photos of verified kito perpetrators. So when a story has the assaulters identity given, I’m sure it will be published.
That notwithstanding, the chief aim of the kito stories is to enlighten readers of experiences that might echo what they might soon fall into. Perhaps you have a Chief Chisom currently chyking you from Asaba. And you read this. You’d do well to stay away from him. Was it not on a previous kito story that a KDian realized that the guy programming him wa sthe same one who kito-ed the victim whose story we’d just read…
Mandy
August 06, 07:57This Delta State again? Fast becoming the kito capital of Nigeria.
kacee
August 06, 08:15Hehehehehe kito capital
Masked Man
August 06, 08:03Asaba, Agbor.
Smh.
I’m sorry Josh, I’m really really sorry.
simba
August 06, 08:03Oh dear, thanks to god u made it alive… Unfortunately those scums are still free perpetuating their evils..
ken
August 06, 08:07Lesson to be learned: Dont meet strangers in a territory where you are not familiar with. I mean, travelling to see a stranger you have never met is just not smart.
Sorry tho.
KingBey
August 06, 08:20Na wah oo. What’s with these Asaba kidnappers hiding under the guise of Kito? It’s high time the police is let known of their nefarious activities and rightful action taken. This is pure kidnapping. And I’m very glad his dad did not pay a dime to those fools. I still stand for No Negotiations with a Kidnapper. Because it encourages them to do more. After what my friend went through last year in same Asaba, people there became totally ruled out from my mind. I won’t be caught dead visiting anyone there unless its a family member.
Max
August 06, 08:29Honestly I’m tired of reading Kito stories.
This one is a Lil bit different though ( because the kitoer lied about his age and even occupation)
The rest of the kitos I’ve heard of always have 3 things in common
1- the victim is always a bottom
2-The kitoer is always a rough looking older top(or strictly top or straight-looking top or whatever<> don’t agree if he says he’s sending a bike- he doesnt run a bike business. Come to think of it, why would he know a bike man sef? He drives right? So how come?
Gay people’s fantasy of getting to sleep with older macho men(or straight looking men<<< damn I hate that phrase) is the main cause of these kitos.
And the victims often tend to ignore warning signs- like his car suddenly spoiling during the course of your journey.
Please let's all try and be making use of our brains .. Please. I do not wish to read another Kito story here.
Its something that we as gay people should've phased out by now since we know how they operate, or so I thought.
And please, we need pictures of the culprits– these people went to a deep level to destroy you, I think they deserve the same. Since they're jobless, another person might fall victim to their nonsense.
We Need The Pictures… Protocols be damned!!!.
Max
August 06, 08:38I dunno how but some parts of my comments are missing>>>
Don’t travel to meet a married man. Its a shameful thing. When you get married, stick with your family. Don’t be requesting the presence of young boys to warm your bed when your wife/kids aren’t around.
And also we should all learn to know our worth. Know your worth and don’t let any man treat you like an option when he’s in a tight situation. Like some side dude he could rely on for cheap sex. We’ve been marginalized by the society a lot but that doesn’t mean we should eat bread crumbs thrown at us.
Knowing that someone is married and choosing to visit them to spend time with them while their wife/kids is away is the height of it.
Pink Panther
August 06, 08:43You mean as opposed to visiting him when his wife and kids are around? 🙂 lol
Max
August 06, 08:50Well, you could try that. And you’ll wear akpoola to come back… Not Kito.. 🙂
kacee
August 06, 09:04Hehehehehe
ken
August 06, 09:22I used to think like this before, but as I am getting older I have realised its not fair to completely blame DL men. Everyone is a victim of society’s demands and expections.
How do u tell a gay man to marry a woman, and never have sex with a guy ever again?
I find that married men are d randiest because they feel so lonely and alone keep a big secret that can destroy their lives. They will never admit the truth cos a part of their brain is released that they have satisfied society. The sex is almost like an obsession to relieve the weight of the enormous burden of their secretive lives.
*And no am not a psychiatrist. Yes, am smart like that* lol
Pink Panther
August 06, 09:28Oh ken, don’t even bother. Max is not one to relent on this issue about married gay men on the down-low.
Max
August 06, 09:33@Ken, you make it sound like we don’t have a choice. Ure not a victim unless you choose to be.
Tiercel de Claron
August 06, 09:45A 45-year old named Chisom,that stood out too.
Your gripe about tops and married/older men tho………
Aja
August 06, 10:08Max, I’ve been kitoed twice in my younger days. I’m Top. Both kitoers were bottoms. Younger. I’ll spare you the ugly details.
This is 2015. Until Nigeria becomes a sane country, no one should meet a total stranger, travel or take chances. I have talked before they said I was too harsh. Maybe these victims are going thru their own stage of growth but it’s really not necessary.
Max
August 06, 11:38Kitoed twice? Chimoo
kacee
August 06, 09:07Seconded
ken
August 06, 09:16I completely agree! Gbam!!
Posh6666
August 06, 16:10May God just continue to protect us.But d truth is yes a car can actually suddenly break down and yes too he can actually have a bike man’s number for number of reasons in case of any emergency whatsoever.The truth is its a tough situation even if u advise sum1 not to travel to another state for hookup it can still happen within ur resident state.
JoshDeity
August 06, 08:34@PP, thanks for publishing. As for editing the story, well you did it in more agreeable than disagreeable ways. Thanks…
Pink Panther
August 06, 08:42Anytime. 🙂
kacee
August 06, 08:58I can’t still understand how some stupid pigs will just sit down and plan this kind of rubbish, or is it because of lack of jobs in this country. I’m so sorry josh dear.
JoshDeity
August 06, 09:05@Max. I’m not bottom but this story isn’t about my role in bed. It’s about me being too sapiosexual for my own good. I and scum Chisom spoke over the phone for quite some time. And I wanted to have sex with that brain.
Masked Man
August 06, 09:14Have sex with that brains.
Oh dear, I still don’t understand sapiosexuality.
James is brilliant, but do I wanna have sex with his brains, no. With another part, yes. Lol
I don’t understand sapiosexuality.
Pink Panther
August 06, 09:17MM, saying you want to have sex with brains is not to be taken literally, you know that, right? It simply means that a person’s intelligence, more than every other attribute is what turns you on mostly.
Masked Man
August 06, 11:23PP, I know.
I just fret for people like me who are dull upstairs. We are never gonna get laid when everybody is a sapio.
Pink Panther
August 06, 12:03Well luckily for u, MM, not everyone is sapio. 🙂
Masked Man
August 06, 12:10I’m seriously hoping so.
Max
August 06, 09:30@MM, I’m sapio too. But brains isn’t what I wanna have sex with.. The brain is what turns me on..
Oh and btw I see what you did there with James. Continu
Masked Man
August 06, 11:18I don’t know what are talking about.
Don’t let James start getting ideas that are not existent.
JustJames
August 06, 12:14*sips nutrimilk and stares at MM one kain*
Masked Man
August 06, 13:12Hi James, want more milk?
JoshDeity
August 06, 09:26@PP, yes… You got that right.
iamcoy
August 06, 09:38Something dies inside me whenever I come on kd and see ‘His Kito story’.
Mehn… I will say no more
iamcoy
August 06, 09:50Oh well forgive me I will say more..
I said this on the last kito story and I will say it again..
you are on manjam, badoo or grindr, but u are too busy to join Facebook, twitter or instagram. Anyone who falls for that line again should be tabled here and given another round of flogging by us*no pun intended*
ambivalentone
August 06, 10:01I dunno, the strength of this dude and his folks kinda turned me on. *covers face* Maybe I should stop looking at Afros one kain anymore seeing as they can cushion vitamilk bottles. That said, that company shud be sued.
Kester
August 06, 10:40This is sad, Josh sorry you had to go through all that horror. Glad you are alive and believe me when I say many have died going through kito situations. Don’t mind any one pontificating, everyone at some point was naive. Lesson learned, move on but don’t think you have totally fooled your family, they sort of know but may not say anything until much later when you will be bugged about marriage. Be careful. My own story not even a stranger on social media. I always said it to myself and my friends that I will never wear kito, sometimes laughing at some people I knew that suffered it. Mine was with someone I had known for ages, someone I helped when he was sick with hepatitis. Someone younger, someone I even connected with aristo friends. The experience made me sober,very wary, extremely suspicious and introverted. Sometimes all these tips on safety doesn’t follow and yes there are people who sit down for years planning your downfall and waiting for the opportunity to strike. It’s not about joblessness it’s about inherent evil in most people. There are those who think they should use another person’s misfortune or weakness to make money. Weakness here is the desire for same sex relations and misfortune here is the environment we live in that supports such atrocities and justifies perpetrators because hearing this story any so called straight person will say ‘……. serve him right.’ my brother do be careful. In an evolved society structures are in place to avoid such embarrassment. Looking for fun or love should not be a hazard. I won’t wait for Nigeria to decriminalize I am working hard to make enough money to leave. Sometimes we think khaleesi is just ranting. I don’t think so this place is horrible. Imagine beating up someone till the person is unconscious just because he is gay. Kidnapping, torturing some one on account of his orientation. It’s a gross injustice but what can we do? Even dogs or cows are pitied. I’m sorry. This story just took me elsewhere……….. Bros sorry and be careful.
Khaleesi
August 06, 10:44I cant describe the sadness and sense of despair that fills my heart whenever i read these kito stories … it brings forcefully to me what a lawless society we live in, its so sad that gays have to bear the heaviest burden of this sick society’s lawlessness. These guys are nothing but a gang of ruthless criminals who belong firmly in jail for a long long long time. Please, if you have names, pictures, profile IDs or whatever of these damned criminals, please forward to PP for publishing.
Khaleesi
August 06, 10:47Has anyone noticed the eerie and uncanny similarity between this kito story and that experienced by a certain Fabby who came from Bayelsa a few months ago? Could it be the same gang? Josh, i dont know if you still have the phone number to the Chisom of a bastard, perhaps truecaller might give an inkling as to his identity … thats a start!
Tobby
August 06, 11:03Your dad is an idiot. They could have killed you.
Masked Man
August 06, 11:13Oh Pls shut up.
Peak
August 06, 12:45Tobby I would need you to step back, have a sit and choke down some ice. You just went over board with your comment. Just because KD is an online forum where we can hide behind the cloud of anonymity doesn’t give us free rein to throw propriety to the wind. You don’t know him or his father nor their financial capabilities, so spare us ur unflattering comment that reeks of nescience. Please check urself, cos you sound rock with that comment.
Dennis Macaulay
August 06, 12:59I have relatives in asaba and I know that town wella. It is a serious kito hotbed!
Please don’t visit anybody you don’t have mutual friends with.
As for the guy who went through this, I am terribly sorry you had to go through this.
Teflondon
August 06, 13:54Its always sad to read new Kito stories.
Most Kito Stories seem similar these days. These stories aren’t just published for the sake of it, we should try to learn from it, from every experience and situation. No ONE is above Kito! i repeat NO ONE! so never dismiss what you read here thinking it can never happen to you.
Josh i am sorry for your ordeal. May the good lord keep and strengthen you always.
That said,
i miss always being on KD. I miss all the fun peeps that used to be on KD. GAD, Chizzie, Chris, Diablo Et al i miss the blood baths and dramas. The new folks and commenters are so annoyingly boring. Jeez! i could smell the Ass kissing all the way…
My Kito story still remains the most commented piece on here in the history of KD i think. i challenge someone to beat it already.
XOXO
Pink Panther
August 06, 14:19*shaking my head* Oh Teflondon
Masked Man
August 06, 15:03Who released you?
Who unchained you?.
Thought you’ve been bundled off and exiled.
Anyway, I missed your attention seeking.
Perez
August 06, 16:57Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhaaaaaa……!!!
posh6666
August 06, 16:25So sorry Josh.But seriously ur dads no nonsense attitude could have actually left u killed!God forbid sha.Cos the truth is sick homophobes are out there everywhere who could kill for nothing and ur dad even got into argument with them provoking them.As the saying goes ignorance is bliss he didnt really understand d true situation of things and also am a bit troubled that he was willing to let them take u to a police station when we all know how corrupt n homophobic naija police are and also the 14yrs jail tingy and also the risk of ur face being splashed all over newspapers.He will have spent probably more than 50k at d police station.I mean he could actually afford that money right?u could have been killed imagine if they could be smashing n breaking bottles on u like that.No shade just curious.Thank God u are safe.
Ven
August 06, 16:48Josh, it’s a terrible thing that happened. And I’m sorry it happened. There are no rules or laws that govern kitos, to be honest, it’s just God or the universe (whichever you believe in) that protects. You can make all sorts of rules about not meeting in private the first time or whatever. The thing is, if it’ll happen, it will. The one thing I know that helps tho, is to go with your gut. If you suddenly feel like something is amiss, you can call it off. It may suck and you may feel like you wasted money and time but it beats the alternative. Thank you for sharing, because I imagine it’s really difficult for a person to admit something like this happened and to ope himself up to people’s judgement and commentary.
Perez
August 06, 17:05The major thing here is just to be careful, and do not think with your junk/ass.. We live in an environment where your immediate neighbour can be a potential danger to you, all because of your sexuality…
The key thing here is to be careful. U can’t try such adventure of meeting someone new and distant in this side of the world .
God help us all. Amen
James bruno
August 06, 17:09i think an article that gives basic safety guidelines for online hookups is due on this site. maybe even permanently pinned to the homepage.
@josh sorry about your ordeal
JoshDeity
August 06, 18:26As for those who think my dad’s course of action was wrong, it’s clear that you didn’t understand the situation. The only threat was to my life. I wasn’t caught doing anything. There was no evidence to point to my being gay. It was my word against theirs. They’re criminals, there’s no way that they were willing to take me to the police. That’s why my dad would have preferred if I was with the police. The police can’t kill me.
posh6666
August 06, 18:36Lmaoo like seriously u are trying to defend ur dads action?u said d only threat was to ur life what could be greater than that?would u be here today on kd if God forbid u were killed?then u said there was no evidence?bros u be learner?all ur numerous chats and call nko?wetin carry u go asaba?and also trust me some crazy ones could actually take u to police.Seems u think this is a small thing last week sum guy was killed just like that his pics is all over facebook due to similar incidence.Stop trying pls we kdians can only be nice for a short while before we go for d jugular hunnay we go for blood!
Chuck
August 06, 19:33I have a question – if he had not kito’d you, what would you have done at the end of the trip when your bank account was empty and your anonymous sex mate was done having sex with you?
Honestly this just shows how bored/frustrated/unmotivated/idle our students and youth are. You left your town to go fuck a married man based on his voice/conversation? Is your town so empty, or were you just projecting qualities this guy doesn’t have onto him?
I’ve never been kito’d, and I probably never will. The reason is simple : I’m not desperate for sex or a connection.
Avoiding kito is easy:
Don’t travel to meet someone you’ve never met before for sex. Just wank, or fuck whoever you’d been fucking before meeting the new guy.
If you’re going to meet someone, stick to the plan you originally made. Don’t go anywhere you haven’t been before.
Always meet people at neutral locations when you’re meeting them for the first time. A mall, shop or bus stop that’s busy. Don’t follow a stranger to a second location.
Be wary of manjam and grindr. It’s easy for someone to pose to be anyone online (catfish). Unless you’ve met someone in person, you haven’t met them yet. Anything they say is questionable.
posh6666
August 06, 19:38Kito can happen to anybody.No matter how unbothered u say u are about sex at d end of d day u still hookup with sum1 for sex and even sum1 u have been fucking for 10yrs can still decide to kito u one day if u fuck up.I believe have even read sumtin like that on kd
Chuck
August 06, 20:07Then why hasn’t it happened to some of us? We have been careful about who we fuck, and where we go.
posh6666
August 06, 20:29Becos u are just lucky!and i dont wish it upon u but d reality is so long as u live in naija kito can happen to u when u least expect it u can never be too careful.Say or think what u wish but its not ur doing or how perfect u are.U are just lucky!
Chuck
August 06, 20:41I don’t believe in superstition or all of that. You can control who you sleep with. Sleep with people who have more to lose than you and you will be fine.
Ven
August 06, 21:09Some people play the long game. You can’t always tell. They’re good tips, yes but it’s not a 100% guarantee
JoshDeity
August 06, 22:42@Chuck, this platform doesn’t allow for all of the story but I didn’t say my bank accounts were empty, i said I emptied the accounts that have ATM cards. Yes, my town is dead to me. I don’t wank and my last fuck was two states away. Thing is the dude was an homophobe, but a very intelligent person. As I said earlier, I was too sapiosexual for my own good. The rest is story. I’ve always been lucky and I’m not desperate for sex at all. In over 6 years, he was supposed to be my 11th time having sex. He just turned out to be ill-luck. We were supposed to meet at the same point the okada dude came to pick me, there was no change of location. It was just bad, very bad luck.
Chuck
August 06, 23:07Well, everyone likes what they like. But based on the risk of meeting someone who kitos you, I would advise that you adjust what you look for or the kind of guys you accept/turn down offers from. Otherwise, being kito’d will remain a risk/hazard of your sexual desires. Good luck sha
Tiercel de Claron
August 07, 09:19Let me borrow Max’ hat this time,11th fuck in 6years?.That’s kinda much in my book,but what do I know,I’m just the monogamous type
Tiercel de Claron
August 07, 09:23Oh sorry,re-read that and saw you meant 11th time/occasion,not the body count.
My apologies
Pink Panther
August 07, 12:47Even if it were a body count… Even if it were 11 hook-ups in 6 years, how’s it criminal or deserving of scorn?
Raj
August 07, 04:28Damn. Kito stories get to my gaymotions. I am not one to blame ,people often blame if the result turned sour. Had this been a tale of romance ,meeting that online guy and spending quality time and. sex,a lot wouldn’t have been so keen on blames.
However the profit in. a loss is the experience that shields us(and others)against similar circumstances
Dumdus
August 07, 22:53I’m really sorry but this is going to hurt. You were really daft and you had to let your sexual desires take charge over you thereby making you deaf to advices. There were evidence to show you that this guy was fake. First of all they come as nice,English would be full of blunders, spellings, Jesus, that’s a no no, another evidence was the lie he told you that his car was at the mechanic or something and that a bike man will come and pick you, still you didn’t still stop by when you saw no houses. Jesus, are you that daft. I can’t feel sorry for you because these are the reasons why they keep hunting and beating queers up for no reason. Manjam is now a casted site, even badoo and worst of all 2go, who does that? This will serve as a lesson to you and a lesson to all other person. Be sure of who you are going to see, be sure of the kind of person you pose yourself as to people. If you’d be friends with an unknown folk from another place, be sure of your “connectivity” with this person before you make your move and to be sure that you are safe, ask this person for your transport fare to and fro that you don’t have money to see come down to his place. You’d be glad to see his reply. That’s my own bit… I’m sure that has taught you a lesson… Take care and keep your head up… Be guided
thecockyromantic
May 11, 20:36You have a point but you don’t talk to someone that way. From family, to eagerness to connect and love make us sometimes overlook a lot of things. You should use words to rebuild and not destroy.