2011-07-10-pursuit-of-excellenceBeing gay is a very difficult life to live; it is extremely tough, which is why I find it funny when close-minded bigots refer to homosexuality as a conscious choice or a learned reflex that can also be “unlearned”! Such ignorance. Homophobia in Nigeria cuts across generations, but there is one way to punch homophobes in the face; becoming successful. Nothing annoys homophobes more than a successful “faggot” (pardon my language).

I am currently dating an amazing guy who changed the way I look at love and life. He is a geek of the highest order and works as an engineer specializing in fixing heavy duty vehicles. There is no other person in the entire Rivers State, Nigeria who can fix the kind of cars that he fixes, so he is some sort of hot cake. Now he works in yellow coveralls (the rest of the technicians wear black), his helmet has a Hannah Montana sticker on it and he works in pink patent leather safety boots, swinging his hips to the beat of Beyoncé’s rhythm anytime he is working. I know his colleagues probably know he is gay, they obviously talk behind his back, and some customers cringe in disgust when he talks to them about their cars, demonstrating with his hands (lol). In spite of all this though, they cannot do without him because of his skills and expertise which are unmatched. So after all the judging and disgust, they still come for his services and I always tell him that he intentionally rubs his femininity in their faces.

I also remember one of my friends (a smart business man) who bought a brand new SUV. He drove me and some other guys to a bar on a street where he had been called faggot before to “wash” it. Boy, did we celebrate! The same area boys who called him names were watching while we drank and partied with expensive drinks. Guess who came around eventually to ask for drinks? The same name calling boys!

So what is my point you may be asking; well consider this a clarion call. Make up your mind to be successful, to be the best you can be. If you are in school, graduate on top of the class and watch those who called you names battle with extra semesters. In your career, decide to be the best, get more education and get to the zenith.

Imagine for a moment running into that boy who pushed you around in the high school hallway, calling you faggot, ten years later and you are a high flying business executive and he a janitor. Imagine that satisfaction that would provide (lol okay I am a little evil but you get my point). Each and every one of us should be determined to make something out of our lives and through our successes throw punches in the face of bigots.

Written by Dennis Macaulay; Dennis Macaulay works as a Brand Executive in Port Harcourt. Follow him on twitter @Eko_Bloke

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  1. KingBey
    May 16, 06:55 Reply

    Don’t know how you label this but being Gay is just a sexual orientation…I don’t see how it affects someone’s life expectancies and capabilities…there are succsessful Straight guys and unsuccseccful Straight guys just as you have in the Gay folk…successful and unsuccsessful ones still abound…I don’t really see how the sex orientation and life achievements of a human being relate unless its someone stupid enough to let his orientation control him/her which I find absurd though….

    • luke
      May 16, 12:02 Reply

      I agree being gay is just a sexual orientation, and l totally get your point, but the point he is driving home is that, as gay we have enough hate at us, and the one victory we as human being can have is being a success story, and believe you me, we very good at what we put our mind too, we very creative and pay too much attention to details,so yes we can put that energy to being a benefit to us people and those around us.

  2. mirage
    May 16, 07:06 Reply

    Nice one bro,a flawless truth.I remember in my university days those dudes who would call me queer in class becoming so friendly just to get answers from me.I remember a particular guy who would always throw harsh words in my way I class asking for my help and how well I opened my script for him,he later apologised saying “you were a total prescott in the hall”Prescott which is a microbilogy textbook.

  3. lluvmua
    May 16, 07:32 Reply

    That’s so true gurlllll *smiles* @andre_hayford

  4. blue fox
    May 16, 08:54 Reply

    Dennis well spoken if only gay people will listen

  5. trystham
    May 16, 16:15 Reply

    If only the laptop stealing, and thieving sluts would read this.

  6. tobby17
    May 17, 08:33 Reply

    being gay shouldn’t be extra motivation for you to be successful.

  7. kendigin
    May 17, 08:34 Reply

    To be honest I find that most tbs are just not ambitious at all. Especially the btms (no offense). Ask a typical naija tb wot he wants to be and u’ll hear things like “I want to be a beautician, hair stylist, fashion designer, dancers….etc”

    Not that these things are in themselves awful, but these guys dnt even lift a finger to pursue their so- called “dreams”. Most just relax in the realm of daydreaming!

    There’s nothing more sexy than a strong intellectual guy who has passion to succeed

    • pinkpanthertb
      May 17, 16:30 Reply

      You’re saying two different things, kendigin. A chastisement for those who don’t pursue their dreams. And a condescension for those whose career prospects happen to be as beauticians etc.
      The first I appreciate. Nobody likes a slacker. But the second is quite offensive. The race for an intellectual high isn’t for everyone. And when somebody says he wants to be a stylist or the like, he shouldn’t be derided simply because he hasn’t chosen to be a literary genius or professional career person. There’s success to be found in every and any cadre of life. All you have to do is pursue success. If its one’s dream to be a fashion designer, there’s nothing wrong with that. After all, Marc Jacobs IS gay and a renowned fashion designer.
      And that appendage ‘Especially the bottoms’… Seriously? So the role in one’s sexual orientation is now equated to his lack of drive to achieve success? Really?

  8. Chizzie
    May 17, 10:36 Reply

    excuse u?? Not even going to start about how much of a put-off the term “tb” is !

    just cus uve stumbled upon heaven knows the callibre of guys ( im guessing OND holders!) that aspire to be beauticians and what not, doesn’t mean all or even most bottoms are more inclined to the blue collar service industry. I haven’t met one that is thus far.. Maybe u need to get out more and meet ppl . or maybe u attract such myopic prescient men because u r of same calibre. birds of the same feather as they say..

  9. @garriso345
    May 17, 13:57 Reply

    now they want to generate quarrel out of a candid advice loool, we gays, we aren’t so different from what people see us as though lol

    • pinkpanthertb
      May 17, 14:02 Reply

      So becos someone took offense to someone else’s opinion, its now a gay thing? Becos heterosexuals don’t disagree and quarrel all the time, right?

      • kendigin
        May 18, 08:19 Reply

        @pinkpanther maybe u didn’t get my msg. I have no problem with smone wanting to be a beautician or hair dresser. My point is that if u want to do that, at least aspire to be the best you can be. Get professional training, plan, plan, plan, learn as much as u can and do ur best to be the best.
        Unfortunately, some of us lack the imagination, drive and ambition to become the best we can be!
        To survive in this grossly homophobic country, we can’t jst rest on our oars and expect to be successful. Work! Work!! Work!!!

  10. Dennis Macauley
    May 19, 15:37 Reply

    How do I say this without getting staked to death; here is the thing, I kind of get what kendigin is trying to say and in some ways I agree with him. Its totally silly for him to ascribe a lack of drive to bottoms, that’s really obnoxious! Having said that I do believe that we have enough hair stylists and caterers and fashion designers and event planners! There are other fields that we can actually conquer beyond these ones. Whenever I meet a guy and he says he is a hair stylist, I often roll my eyes. Not that I think I am better than hair stylists (No I would never think that) I just think that there is so much more that is to be done than these careers that we are so comfortable with.
    This is my opinion, please feel free to disagree.

    • CeeCee
      May 20, 06:48 Reply

      I disagree! You have to do what you’re good at! There have been engrs, doctors abd lawyers for decades in this country, yet it doesn’t stop tens of thousands from graduating into these professions every year! If being a stylist of beautician is where your talents lie, plz by all means explore it aggressively, take yourself via dint of hardwork&professional career development to the peak of your chosen career and shine so bright that you dazzle the homophobic, hate filled bigots …

      • Dennis Macauley
        May 21, 05:29 Reply

        @CeeCee, I see your point! But then again a lot of us feel that these things come naturally to them so they step into these careers with very little expertise, depending only on natural talent which in some cases is not enough.
        This is why you see some of them who are often very mediocre! With very little expertise! I believe that there are other fields we should conquer!!!

        • pinkpanthertb
          May 21, 05:47 Reply

          You only conquer where you’re good at. I get your point, Dennis, but what we should preach is for people to strive to be super successful in what they do, not to tell them what they do has become cliché and that they should strive to conquer other areas of expertise.

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