KIZITO SPEAKS VIII
Do, Re, Mi, Fa, So, La, Ti, Do… 🙂 lol.
I love singing! There’s not a moment that passes by without me singing or humming or making musical sounds. I’m musical like that… Speaking of singing, that’s what choristers do! And speaking of choristers, there’s the one I’ve introduced you all to. His name is Donald.
I had no inclination toward him, but he felt a lot for me. At first, he was a pest. But overtime, we became acquaintances – close ones. We went for rehearsals together, went home together with Peju. She’s the third in our humorous clique. It was always fun walking home with them sha. Always. Sometimes, we’d have a few other people join us on our walk home. And a few other times, it was alone with Donald. Hmm. Our talks were different, awkward, and other things. Queer talk and gossip. And it was also “Gimme a chance” time. *sigh*
Donald can like to talk. But he had a wonderful sense of humour (I liked that about him). Many a time, he talked about his hook-ups, exes, tattooed boys, Tops who’d agree to bottom for him, because they liked him and would do anything for him. And the compliment he said he so often received was “Nice bod”. This one cracks me up inside. In my mind I’d be like, ‘Nwoke, get a standing mirror and look at ya-self.’ I never voiced that thought.
Hmm.
So, some of our conversations when we walked home from rehearsals a few times be like:
Donald: I no know why person go dey masturbate. Wetin that one mean na? Chai. Tufia! As I dey, I go dey masturbate, for what na? If the thing hol’ me, na to just make phone call. Chai. Nonsense.
Me: Hmmm. People wey no get person nko?
Donald: Abeg. Leave dat thing…
I couldn’t go further with the issue.
* * *
Donald: You don go TB party before?
Me: TB party? No oh. TB party ke. Wetin wan carry me go sef.. How e be?
Donald: Ah, e dey make sense. You go see different people. E dey sweet. Them dey evening start with opening prayer.
Me: Hian. Opening prayer kwa..
Donald: Yes. See you. Them say na “in the name of god of TB!” (And he laughed hard!)
Me: (gasping and looking at him wide-eyed) Ehn?
Donald: Ehen na. See you. The only thing wey dey spoil am na police. E dey make sense, but police matter at times. The last one wey I no go, police raid the place.
Me: Hmmm. Nawa o.
* * *
Donald na character. And he had connection with big boys. I’d once asked him where he met all these people and he told me he knew most of them from Badoo. (And that was how he introduced me to the social app). He’s well known in the Lagos gay circuit though. He is… *cough*
Well, above everything, he has feelings for me. And I dreaded every time we got to my bus-stop together. It was always “gimme a chance” time. And I’d post him with “Ok. I’ve heard you. We go still see…”
Written by Kizito
About author
You might also like
RANTINGS OF A RANDOM (Gay) NIGERIAN (Entry 63)
I woke up one morning and Twitter was buzzing. It appeared that Pink News, which is a foremost LGBT newspaper in the UK, had awarded David Cameron the title of
HOSTEL CONFESSIONS (Chapter Five)
Chapter 4: Ejike and Other People As Ejike pulled me into that dark empty classroom, we first shared a light kiss before proceeding to dry-hump each other fully clothed, this
AS I LIVE: 3 (Unexpected Beautiful)
I am excited. I want to say something, write something, but I lack the right words. Not that I don’t have a good lexicon; I just feel like words can’t
47 Comments
Mandy
July 03, 04:01Exactly! My reaction too. This whole episode was like an afterthought. The writer wanting to couple up something hurriedly together from a not-so interesting week.
trystham
July 03, 04:28Let me not start on opening prayers at a party. What are u praying for? That u will make perfect smoke rings or that u will ‘quav’ ur crush successfully and get her number? or the reckless sex u hope to have no go enter belle???? MTCHEWWWWW
chestnut
July 03, 06:26“Quav”?…”Enter belle”? I don’t understand…*wide-eyed innocent stare*
Jamie
July 03, 15:22My thoughts exactly… Good things hardly ever come out of these things… It’s just sex, sex, sex and sex!!
Dennis Macaulay
July 03, 05:17Hmmmmm
QueerMike
July 03, 05:28*honestly confused*
And the point here is???
Oluwadamilare Okoro
July 03, 06:14Hmmmmmm
JamesJemima
July 03, 06:19Well.. I liked this. Felt like one of those short stories you’d see in an anthology.
Not all stories need to have a point.. Could just be a fun read or something the author felt he should write or talk about just cause he can.. Creative liberty I think.. But for those who couldn’t see any point I do believe kizito wanted to introduce us to his latest suitor and friend.. Donald. Yes, that’s the point of the story I think.
Now I feel vaguely empty now that I’ve reached that conclusion.. No.. Not that sort of empty you perverted minds. Ugh.
Teflondon
July 03, 06:22Short piece and precise! I’ve never been a fan.. But I liked today’s piece, probably your best yet. The way you strted and also the way you ended the piece. Actually it’s loads of rambling.. But Hello? **staring at those displeased with today’s piece**
This is some dairy of a teenager illd assume, someone young.. Right? It’s an oppurtunity to peep into different people’s lives on KD. Young, Old, Rich, naive, poor, strong willed, kind-hearted, Superman and deluded beings et al It’s the beauty of KD actually.
What were you all expecting him to right.. Albert Einstein- esque write ups?
**Rme**
Sinnex
July 03, 07:39You just summed it up.
This is a series from a different angle.
Some people forget that we are all different people from different backgrounds and with different perceptions of life; the way one reacts in a particular situation is totally different from the way another reacts to same.
This piece was precise and straight to the point and not filled with mumbo jumbo. It is actually one of the very best.
Besides, not everyone is supposed to like a series.
pinkpanthertb
July 03, 09:16Sinnex, this is what you said a few comments away about this very same piece.
‘Warrisdis?
For real?
After waiting for some time for a conclusing….this is all you have to serve…’
So after eviscerating the write-up, you turn around to realize that it is precise and straight to the point? To be so double-faced on the same post… Tsk tsk.
keredim
July 03, 10:50World record
pinkpanthertb
July 03, 09:16But of course, I’m sure you’ll have a good excuse to explain away your gaffe.
Max
July 03, 09:21You don’t need binoculars to know that this dude #Sinnex takes things personal like a small child. I guess the reason for his comment is because of the backlash he got from his write up yesterday.
Get over it dude!!
pinkpanthertb
July 03, 09:22I’d understand him reacting like so. but to express that opinion and then come here to have a turnaround opinion just because Teflondon said so… Lol. Kai. at least when someone like Max wants to be a bitch, he remains a bitch to the very end. 😀
keredim
July 03, 10:53PP, you do not bite the hand that pays your data charges..
kacee
July 03, 06:34Lol
Sinnex
July 03, 06:52Warrisdis?
For real?
After waiting for some time for a conclusing….this is all you have to serve…
Dennis Macaulay
July 03, 09:37Conclusion*
trystham
July 03, 10:26Loool Maka why???
ronniephoenix
July 03, 07:00one question…
what is TB….
all the same, nice write up
keredim
July 03, 07:08“Tee bee” (TB) slang for gay
Sinnex
July 03, 07:11Top/Bottom
ronniephoenix
July 03, 07:01Reblogged this on ronniephoenix's Blog.
Sinnex
July 03, 08:41Happy Birthday
Ace
July 04, 02:21Happy birthday bade!
Diablo
July 03, 09:03I don’t really converse with my friends in pidgin and vice versa ’cause i think its foul. Yes, for market sellers and bus conductors- its appropriate, but not when I’m kiki’ing with friends. naaah
Dennis Macaulay
July 03, 09:39I love you for this!
I hate pidgin english, but whenever I say it my friends call me an elitist B-word so I just keep mute!
Absalom
July 03, 10:38Biko, pidgin is not foul. It’s a valid other-form of the conventional English, complete with its own grammatical rules and vocabulary. Not everyone is skilled in its use.
ollusammie
July 03, 19:57I beg to disagree. There is nothing foul about pidgin english. Yeaaaa u might hate it, but it is a language I have come to love. Especially when u hear it spoken by those who speak it real good (sometimes sound so musical). Every language in the world has its own foul vocabularies. So u decide what u want to speak – offensive pidgin or unoffensive pigdin.
Sam La' Smithereens
July 03, 10:15Pidgin language is foul? You do realize that pidgin is a universal language that connects people of Nigeria together? -in terms of neutrality and bonding? You know, very much like the Ebonics you chip in sometimes when speaking
Nobody is asking you to speak it (nobody cares if you don’t) but don’t go off, rubbishing it with a condescending tone when it is an integral part of your Nigerian identity.
Teflondon
July 03, 11:03Lunch? Sam..
Diablo
July 03, 11:36integral part of my Nigerian identity? ehm ok. So i guess being well spoken and articulate isn’t part of my Nigerian identity? So because one is Nigerian one should sound like an illiterate? All pigdin does is place a communication bridge btwn the upper echelon and the lower… and yes pidgin is FOUL.
Sinnex
July 03, 11:44Diablo, are you for real?
This is the strangest thing I have read in a very long time.
Deola
July 03, 14:50Pidgin is foul? Lmao. What someborry will not hear. Issokay oh.
Jamie
July 03, 15:28Yes, you think!!
I agree some complications arise from this tye of English creole, but I bet you, it’s got swag when used @the right time. You get am so???
Sinnex
July 03, 11:15The only one who made sense here is PP and he is the only one I would respond to, The others can crawl back to the caves they came out from or continue scouting for new customers for their ashawo kobo kobo business.
Now, If you were smart as you claimed, you could have realised that I meant the same thing. I was interested in the Donald story and wanted it to be completed. I remember the last time he updated, he spoke about Donald and other issues. I was captivated by the guy. I did not want it to end. So, when the story ended abruptly, I was taken aback. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the writeup. As you know, I am a very busy person and I can’t go on explaining myself in every post. I wanted to make my comment as brief as possible, then I saw Teffy’s comment, I just had to add something.
Besides, I have a right to say what I want, same as you guys, at least na una mouth, una fit use am chop shit.
pinkpanthertb
July 03, 11:17Whatever abeg.
Sinnex
July 03, 11:28Dude, don’t start what you cannot finish. You need to be as neutral as possible…but what do I know!
pinkpanthertb
July 03, 13:54Nothing, Sinnex. You know exactly nothing.
Max
July 03, 15:28@Busy body Sinnex, Mr busy
Stop causing unnecessary drama here all the time oga.
Stop yearning neutrality all the time.. But often quick to tell PP to tame his minions (in your words).
Sinnex
July 03, 11:23DM, Maybe I might employ you to be my speech writer or editor. It seems like you are very good at what you do. Anyway, you can now run along…my boy!!!
Teflondon
July 03, 12:02Seriously? Lol Sinnex stop just stop all of these. Don’t embarrass us.
**pulls you out of KD**
Watsapp right now!!
Sinnex
July 03, 12:38Yes sir!!!
Chuck
July 03, 12:15Can we stop using “writeup”? It’s nonsense. You write something. When you’re done, it’s an article, an essay or a piece. Writing up is what police do when they charge someone.
God bless – and Sinnex, I’ve been proven right. You are to be avoided
lluvmua
July 03, 13:45Ok Ya all should just let sinnex grieve, he will soon get over it…. lol #beingviolated …… nice write up kizito but ….. spice up d next article pls…
iamcoy
July 07, 02:45Lol