I have quite a number of fuck buddies. Basically friends with benefits, no strings attached. No emotional entanglements whatsoever. However, one of them stands out. His name is Frankie.

Frankie and I met a little over two years now at a party, and we’ve been fucking since that first night. The dynamics of our friendship is well laid out, to me at least. It was just sex.  But on some occasions, he’d tell me that he thinks he loves me and that we should consider a relationship. And on those occasions, I’d make it clear to him that I wouldn’t and couldn’t date him. And this isn’t because he sleeps with older men for money. I’m not one to judge. It’s because I felt like we weren’t on that level, and we didn’t have anything in common besides good sex.

I really enjoyed having sex with him. His sexual skills in bed are unmatched. There’s a very different kind of aura and prowess that exudes from him when he’s in the mood. The way he spreads his legs and arches his back. The sultriness in his eyes. The thirst on his lips. The want raging through his body. He becomes wild, energetic and even aggressive. Sort of like a porn star.

On a particular night two weeks ago, I picked him up and drove home. We ate noodles spiced up with sprinkles of weed. I had a bottle of Carlo Rossi red wine, while he drank swigs from a bottle of Absolute vodka. Our libidos were rising, and next thing, we were tearing off our clothes. We had amazing sex. It was the best fuck yet. Dude rode me on the bed, on the couch, and on my reading desk. He got on all fours as I went into overdrive while giving him the doggy. By the time we were done, I was exhausted to my bones.

I sprayed some air freshener to kill the stench of sex and lubricant in the room, and then went to shower. To my surprise, when I came out from the bathroom, Frankie was still up and erect. There was a slightly manic look to him as he asked for more sex, this time, him topping me. I have no problem with playing bottom. Some of my best sex has been flip sex. But there was no way I was going to take him. Nigga is long and thick like a sewage pipe. And with all that aggression in bed, second degree anal tear wouldn’t be very far from me.

I gently refused his request. His demeanor changed instantly. That manic look began to intensify.

“Are you not a man?” he yelled at me. “Did we just fuck? Who the fuck do you think you are?” He was raging over and over again.

Shocked and taken aback, I tried to calm him. The next thing I knew, he hit me. Hell muthafucking yeah! His fists were flying as he hit me over and over. Boy, I got pissed and hit him back. Hard!

A line in Rihanna’s Man Down could best describe the situation. “…What started out as a simple altercation, turned into a real sticky situation…”

The situation quickly degenerated into a combat. We fought from the bed to the floor, to the reading desk, to the glass center table. The intimate memories the room held from just moments ago was getting shredded by the violence. Ornaments and ceramics shattered as we tumbled around. The house was a total mess.

When he realized that he couldn’t overpower me, he starting yelling at the top of his voice: “HOMO! HOMO! FOURTEEN YEARS! HOMO!” He kept screaming the words over and over.

I live in a well secluded house, with private security and huge dogs. Yet, panic kicked in even though no one would hear him. I shoved him off me and went out to signal for the security to come upstairs. I wanted to pull on some clothes, to retain some decency before the security got upstairs. But this crazed Frankie foiled any attempts of me getting dressed. He made sure that we both stayed naked.

When the security guy came upstairs, Frankie started screaming “Homo” again. He told the security guy that I was a homosexual, that I have being fucking him for the past two years and that he’s got nothing to show for it. He went on to demand two million naira or we could just kill him. The security guy looked disappointed by the spectacle, like he suddenly didn’t want to be there. I’d wanted to have him forcibly throw out Frankie, but I changed my mind. By this time, Frankie was clearly beginning to tire. He was winding down. I dismissed the security man now that I knew I could handle him on my own.

He dropped off into sleep. I left him in the room and fled to another room to sleep.

The next morning, I tiptoed back to the room to find him still asleep naked. I threw the duvet over him and switched off the air conditioner because he was shivering in his sleep. Then I made him breakfast of rice and coffee. I took it to him in bed and nudged him awake. When he opened his eyes, he was the Frankie I’d always known. There were no signs of aggression. I told him the story from last night while he ate. He looked so flabbergasted by what I was saying to him. I watched his eyes dew with tears, watched the tears trickle down his cheeks when I showed him the video, a recording I managed to make last night as he raved and ranted and misbehaved.

Dressed and on his way out, he apologized to the security man and took back the things he said from last night. He said he didn’t mean what he said about us fucking. I have no idea whether the security man believed him – us – or not.

That night’s manifestation made me wary of Frankie, raised some questions I suddenly wondered about. They say alcohol and weed lessen your inhibitions and bring out who you truly are. If that is so, then what does that have to say about who Frankie was that night? An internally homophobic gay man who was made manifest under the influence? Or a disgruntled gay man who has nursed a grudge against me for the years I’ve known him, but pretends we are cool?

Written by Simba

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  1. Dashawn
    March 25, 06:58 Reply

    An internally homophobic gay man who is used to having sex for money. Weed will never allow you become violent and crazy unless you truly have that streak in you. Frankie needs to sit down and talk to someone. Also, did what did he do more? Smoke or drink? Cos weed won’t even give you strength for all that drama.

    • Simba
      March 25, 08:26 Reply

      I was surprised.. Seems u can’t know anyone enough

    • y
      March 25, 09:46 Reply

      Preach! Weed usually mellows you out .If it makes you pyschotic you need to find a different strain. Stay the hell away from SK or KK. Stick to indica. Tho it gives you a terrible case of the munchies.. Ah..I miss weed..

  2. Mandy
    March 25, 07:20 Reply

    What manner of madness is this? I hope that was the last time you saw him? Cos if it’s me, I don’t care whatever put you under the influence, you’re a gay man in Nigeria. A fucking criminal by the law. And as such, you can’t afford to be this irresponsible. ???

    • Simba
      March 25, 08:27 Reply

      Definitely, not seeing him again especially in my house… But I hold no grudge against him.

  3. Amon
    March 25, 08:11 Reply

    You love dancing with wolves…why wouldn’t you be bitten ?

    This is one thing I don’t understand with gay men and their cravings for sex from random people

    • Simba
      March 25, 08:29 Reply

      Pray for more brains.. Maybe u shall understand..

  4. Bobs
    March 25, 08:49 Reply

    I’m sorry that you went through that. He sounds insecure, and could have put you both in jail. My advice, never see him again. Move on to someone who is respectful the societal situation.

    PS. Always use a condom, STI are real!

    • Simba
      March 25, 14:02 Reply

      Thank you very much dear Bob… Ur advice are noted.. Cheers dear

  5. Wiffey
    March 25, 08:51 Reply

    For some reason I don’t like the idea of keeping a sex bubbie for as long as 2 years especially when u know he wants something other than sex from you. You should have ended that relationship from the day he insisted he loves you because that was the sign of drama ahead.

  6. beejay
    March 25, 09:01 Reply

    Seems to me like this is one seriously messed up dude that’s desperate for something from you, even if he’s gotten excellent at hiding it… Grudge or no grudge, I think you need to settle scores and let him down easy. One thing you definitely don’t want is a drug-activated, raging lunatic with a vendetta on your heels, mmm-mmm, no sir! not in this clime.

  7. Dickson' clement
    March 25, 09:04 Reply

    This is quite new.. . I thought weed puts people into a happy mood.. . unless mixed with other elements.. .
    Well, he could be under pressure. Work related stress, quarter life crisis, family crisis.
    Good people can sometimes act out when there is an overwhelming pressure. The distinctive line borders on how often is the occurrence? How does it affect their relationship with people or with their work?

    If after all the drama, he woke up to realise how wrong he was, then his path is salvageable. But it’s a wake up call that this can go both ways so you have to be extra careful.

    • Thor.
      March 25, 14:04 Reply

      Did you say ‘Good people’? Wait till he kitos simba at his work place.

  8. y
    March 25, 09:52 Reply

    hmm..On further reflection weed and alcohol is not a good combination unless you really know what your doing.. I just remembered an episode with some friends of mine. ..

    But concerning your story I think he resents you. He’s catching/ caught feelings. You rejected him no matter how gently I’m sure that hurts. Sever ties with him. Completely.

    Also how awkward are your interactions with the security man now?

    • Simba
      March 25, 10:01 Reply

      Hahahahhahaha interesting question,..I don’t think anything is changed, he does his job and I do mine. He can resign but am a good employer

  9. Vhar.
    March 25, 11:27 Reply

    To answer your questions, I don’t think he was pretending. Neither do I think he’s weary of his sexuality. Was that the first time you’d sprinkle weed in your meal or take a swig together? Was that the first time you’d see him confrontational? Was that the last time you both communicated?

    Something else was going on with him and it all was brought to the surface, most probably because of the drinks and alcohol and maybe your polite rejection. But to suddenly cut ties because of this, seeing as you both have been fucking for two years? I’d like to think you were friends at least, you know, in and out of bed. Just have a talk with him – Over drinks or something. I’d like to think he’s apologised over and again. But just have that talk before making any decision.

    • Simba
      March 25, 14:06 Reply

      Yes dear Vhar,. He has been apologising, I have accepted and moved on, his mother called me to ask why his son complained am being distant.

      • Francis
        March 25, 16:28 Reply

        His mother called ke?! Seriously?! Lemme keep my thoughts to myself and hope things work out well for everyone involved in this matter. Dem thoughts be fucked up as hell

    • Bryce
      March 26, 01:58 Reply

      The ‘something else’ being he’s really in love and that’s not being reciprocated.Nothing else,but that.
      If Simba is too blind to see that…….

  10. bain
    March 25, 11:33 Reply

    oh jeez.
    Just don’t see him again.Always stay safe,and if you must have sex buddies,they should be respectful and have little dignity, you can’t be risking your life for disrespectful people.
    you are lucky many people don’t live around you, if not,this story won’t end really well.

  11. Francis
    March 25, 13:23 Reply

    Hmmmm, you sure say he no sniff something else while you were cleaning up? Sex and drugs/alcohol remain a huge no-no for me sha. Shit happens when you mix them.

    I hope your security guy knows how to mind his business and do his work sha ’cause I smell blackmail and extortion in the horizon.

    Like Vhar said sha, make una siddon talk about the matter but most certainly not at your house again.

    • Simba
      March 25, 14:09 Reply

      Doc, I don’t do drugs, but sometimes the smell of weed is so welcoming lol

      • Francis
        March 26, 20:48 Reply

        I can’t trust myself around cigar talkless of weed. Even alcohol sef na recently i start to dey practice how to drink am….. in serious moderation. Lol

        • El
          March 27, 15:51 Reply

          Stop Practicing if you want to age gracefully.

          • Francis
            March 27, 15:53 Reply

            A few drinks once every 6 months won’t mess things up na. ???

  12. Delle
    March 25, 13:39 Reply

    His truth was revealed. Weed does that to people and you should be glad for it. That’s a man with the viral infection, IH. You should be careful cos you do not know when there would be a reoccurring episode and it may not be contained.

    In my thinking, many of these guys who sleep with older men for money do not know what they are. Who they are or what their sexual orientation is about. When you see your sexuality as all about sex or a tool for money, to me it shows ignorance in different shades.

    As for the security, do not worry. He knows. I mean, stumbling upon two naked, sweaty men in a room, what would I think? Were you both breaking bread??

    That aside, Simba boo, e be like say you get money. Let’s connect na. Recession is writing a carryover course on my head?

    • Simba
      March 25, 14:08 Reply

      I no get money.. But I can package myself lol.. Am not bothering myself over what the security knows, his loyalty is to me..

    • Sinnex
      March 25, 14:30 Reply

      I just need 10 percent of the 2 million the guy was demanding and I would supply any kind of guy he wants.

  13. Sinnex
    March 25, 14:37 Reply

    You are lucky. If it is that same location, then your own better. I can only imagine if such happened to me in my house with nosy neighbours…

    I think you should talk to him. Having sex with someone for 2 years and you still don’t feel like being in a relationship with the person…your case bad sha. Someone people actually fall in love at the first hello. I think you should talk to him. Don’t let him go like that. It is obvious he likes you and feels you are just using him for sex. For him to get his mother involved means that he is really sorry. Just don’t let your guard.

    I have been in a similar situation before. The guy took my phones and almost tore my red passport. I had to involve his elder brother. The stuff happened in 2015 and the guy is still apologising. He comes to my house but I ensure that there is no valuable lying around.

  14. .•*Sugaar.•*
    March 26, 11:29 Reply

    Dear Simba, I think you’re a hoe. And you should know that everything has its side effects.
    First, this guy told you what he was going through which is he’s now emotionally attached to you despite the fact y’all agreed of no strings.
    As a good person and man of good thought, what should you have done? Keep the answer to your self.
    Secondly, what are your likes and whatever that is making you not find someone that fits you and be together, instead you just using somebody for your own selfish interests… I don’t think someon with good conscience would do all that beating in mind that ppl have feelings on what so ever the situation might be… are you afraid of being a responsible boy fren or you just want to keep being a hoe….
    Lastly, why do you think weed and whatever drinks should be taken b4 making it out…
    love making is suppose to be done with good minds not to take something to act weird then later on start giving excuses or complaining of the thinks you swallowed…
    if you want to be fucking around know that ppl have feelings which sometimes they can’t do anything about it than to just tell you. So know that!

    • Simba
      March 26, 13:03 Reply

      Yes Ma…. Noted with Sugar

    • Pink Panther
      March 26, 15:18 Reply

      Are you honestly slut shaming him, Sugar? You do realize everyone has a right to live his social life however he pleases and not deserving of judgment. He’s not into relationships. That’s his prerogative. If Frankie didn’t want to carry on sleeping with him even after his romantic affections were not reciprocated, he should have backed out of their sexual commitment. A hoe deserves to be a hoe without the rest of the commitment types coming after them for their proclivities.

    • Mitch
      March 26, 20:11 Reply

      What grounds do you stand on to judge someone else’s life? He wants to stay unattached, how is that a cause for concern?
      They took weed and alcohol. Those things are anti-depressants (if you know what anti-depressants) and can be taken recreationally. You are in no position to judge, condemn or cast aspersions on them for that.

      And one more thing. Go learn proper grammar and how to write. Maybe then we can have a conversation.

    • Francis
      March 26, 20:45 Reply

      So na Simba get all the blame for this matter IYO.

      *sighs* Dangers of continuing in a fuck buddy relationship even when you’ve been clearly told, you’re never going to upgrade from that level. Oga Frank has issues he needs to deal with biko. Maybe this experience will get him to stop all fuck buddy relationships seeing as he can’t play effectively by the rules.

  15. Peaches
    March 26, 14:58 Reply

    this got me. I font know why I am scared of weed, but I had this ex who took it, and he knows I hate it. first he is a gentle and romantic person, but when he got out of the bathroom like a tiger, trying to tear my clothes, boy, I took off. I fear people with weed that much.

    • JamJam
      March 26, 15:22 Reply

      LMFAO! You should’ve stayed. I mean, what is the worst that could’ve happened?

  16. Pankar
    March 26, 15:49 Reply

    The guy is feeling used and he thinks you are a selfish person. Afterall he merely maintained an erection and you refused to attend to it after you v been satisfied?? And his earlier feelings were ignored. Then you have some little extra to package with or manage, if you had been giving him little tips or an expensive lunch,/gifts before or after sex, he would keep his feelings under check and not feel so used.. FWB’s

  17. Lopez
    March 26, 16:01 Reply

    Ohh! My very own kd is lively again

  18. Delle
    March 26, 20:28 Reply

    I can’t believe what it is I read up there, Sugar (asides the headache I got trying to decipher your thoughts from the combustion you typed).
    All you did was slut-shame. How did you even get to that?
    Was it not obvious that whatever it is they had was mutual? Didn’t the story reveal it was after the weed-intake he started misbehaving? Did the story not tell his remorse afterwards? Does that in anyway depict someone whose emotions were being toiled with?

    I am quite sure you didn’t read the entry (or maybe did but couldn’t comprehend) cos there’s no plausible reason for your out-of-the-blues outpour. To me, it was so personal, one would think you are the Frankie. Quite unnecessary I must say.

    And next time Sugar, if you want to bash someone, make it easy to understand.

  19. Eddie
    March 26, 22:09 Reply

    poor frankie….i dont think it was IH… I just guess he was tired of being treated like a 2nd class human being cos he plays bottom and also maybe he was getting the “benefits” from the arrangement…such pressure!! Lol

    • Delle
      March 26, 23:05 Reply

      But he doesn’t always play bottom. The story clearly says he is versatile.

  20. peach head
    March 27, 06:04 Reply

    Delle calm your balls down…the way you carry the matter for head tire simba! no vex again!

  21. Simba
    March 27, 08:14 Reply

    Thanks darling..
    Am not averse to relationship, just trying to recover from the bad one I just came out from…and Frankie did not complain of maltreatment.

  22. Dickson' clement
    March 27, 08:15 Reply

    The first day I took weed, I was just messing around with it and within few mins. I felt this tightness in my brain, then sounds gradually started being distant, then the lightness, like everything I touched was light,… . I had an insatiable libido, in fact when I was at it, my little man refused to come down. It got to a point where every thrust was telling on my heart, like I was becoming increasing breathless. I still didn’t climax but it was clear that if I continue, I may have a cardiac accident, so I fell into the sheet and soon enough into oblivion.
    So, I wouldn’t judge anyone who was under an influence. If I am having sexual feelings for a straight guy and have self control not to act on those feelings, would you fault me? . So long as what he did was under an influence, you can’t decipher if those words were his own, if it was words said to the hallucinatory images he saw under the influence, those words might not be even for you. So I don’t quite agree that what he said was what he truly felt about you, it may be for some other people he has issues with, just that at that moment he sees you as them. Anyone who has taken crystal met can attest to the strong hallucinogenic nature of it. Even your mother might appear as your worst enemy

    • Pankar
      March 27, 09:34 Reply

      I may have to tilt towards your perspective about marijuana. The reason marijuana is (so) highly controversial a substance is that medically, its been proven to elicit various/ different reactions/emotions from different people. Its nit like crack etc where we kniw exactly what effects to expect. In one person, marijuana may make them sweat profusely while in another, it tells them to pull off shirt and take off.

      • simba
        March 27, 13:20 Reply

        Well Clearly am not doing this with him, or with any other person for that matter. Any smoking is definitely not in my house as not to elicit sexual ish.

  23. SlimmieDee
    March 13, 11:39 Reply

    I think Frankie felt being led on and he thought he has arrived his final bus stop but you proved him other wise, it was just some emotional shit he has tried hiding for so long but the weed pave way for it all to keep running out uncontrollably… #JustMyThought.

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