Dennis, why aren’t we dating?
I nearly choked on the pizza I was eating when she asked that question, all the while, staring me right into the eyes.
I was in Abuja for (yet) another wedding, and after the wedding, I decided to meet up with Jane, who is one of my oldest friends. She is one of the two women that I have a very strong friendship with, spanning several years. We have supported each other through so many things. Now the other girl knows about my sexuality and is totally cool with it, but I haven’t told Jane because I don’t think she can handle that information. In spite of her foreign education, Jane is very religious and constantly on an opium daze that clouds her perspective on a lot of issues. The other girl sef also told me not to tell her, at least not just yet.
So there we were, eating pizza and drinking coke, and she is asking me one of the questions of the century.
Jane: I asked why we are not dating. My mom asked me that question the other day, if you and I are lovers, and I laughed her off. But then I took time to think about it and started wondering why I laughed it off.
I nearly blurted out that ‘Honey, we can’t date because I like men’, but I slapped my subconscious shut; one of those few moments when my head can overpower my tongue.
Me: For starters, Jane, we are very good friends. You are basically my sister, and changing that into something else will be very weird.
Jane: Well, isn’t that the point of being in a relationship or getting married? (At her mention of the word ‘marriage’, I suddenly started sweating, even though the restaurant was fully air-conditioned).
She was still talking: “Being with your best friend who knows you in and out, what you like and what you hate, who knows your deepest fears and all. So what’s your point, Dennis?”
Me: Well, if we become lovers and then something happens along the way, our friendship becomes damaged and we lose everything. Let us maintain what we have and continue to support each other like we do. And one day, I shall be a groom’s man as you marry a very dashing young man.
Jane: Well that hasn’t happened and I will be 30 this year. I will drop this matter for now, but just know I am not through with this issue.
I smiled and we continued chatting about her new job and its challenges, but my mind was very distant from that place. I was starting to feel sorry for her; she was clearly under family pressure to get married and she was not thinking logically. She’d probably marry any guy that comes along. There and then, I became afraid that my friend may end up with the wrong guy, and this would kill me forever.
But why do people allow other people push them into difficult situations?
*
It was the first Monday of the month and we were having the monthly performance review meeting, which I absolutely dread. The time we spend doing this can be put to good use; plus I still had a fuckton of stuff to do. Besides two members on my team are on maternity leave, so I didn’t have time for dreary meetings. But there I was; while my divisional head made presentations on behalf of my division, I sipped coffee and chatted with the Lipstick Gang on BBM, under the guise of taking notes on my blackberry.
The meeting went by in a blur (everything was still going to be emailed anyway, so what was the point?), and I was happily chatting away, when someone stood up with a bottle of wine to present to the regional head while another young man rolled in cartons of Five Alive juice. It was yet another wedding announcement. I rolled my eyes. And this dude just joined us less than two years ago; I mean, why are people marrying up and down?
Everybody was congratulating him while he gave them details about the two ceremonies; including details on the overpriced aso-ebi (Nigerians never miss out an opportunity to make money). I walked over to him and extended my heartfelt congratulations. I was leaving the room, was almost out the door, when I heard it.
“Segun, I am so happy for you o. You are doing the right thing early in your life, and it will curb a lot of things in your life. Don’t be like those who spend all their money on holidays and buying dogs while they slowly age.”
I stopped in my tracks. Grace, my colleague, had just thrown the ultimate shade at me! And there was no way I would let her get away with it.
So I walked over to her, leaned in close to her so my voice wouldn’t carry to everyone else in the room (they were all busy congratulating Segun anyway), and I hissed at her:
“Sweetheart, I realize you don’t have the capacity to mind your business, but I really wish you will develop it where I am involved. You are also a big coward, because you could not say those things to my face. But seeing as you threw them into the air, I will respond to you appropriately. I have a great plan for my life and I have it all figured out. You know the Igbos call a wife ‘Oriaku’, which translates to ‘The one that eats wealth’. So you see, I do not believe in the concept of marrying while I am still a hustling young man, only to end up like you and your husband. I know that you have taken every loan available in this company, even for the cooperative societies that we have here for which you have borrowed money from just to meet up, so much so that after deductions are made from your salary, you are left with nearly nothing.
“This is not the plan I have for my life, darling. So when I do decide to get married, it will be at a moment when my wife will walk into an abundance of wealth and we won’t be running around looking for money to pay school fees.”
I left her there, standing in shock. I would have given anything to turn the expression on her face into a painting. Later on, HR emailed me, saying that Grace lodged a complaint about me insulting her. I went ahead to reply HR, detailing my own side of the story. I never heard from HR again. In hindsight, I realize I went overboard, but sometimes you need to stop people in their tracks before they really cross the boundaries.
*
I have a dear friend who is an MGM. We were catching up over drinks the other day, and started talking about Kito Diaries, and I observed to him that he doesn’t comment as often as I would want him to do. His response was an interesting one I’d like to bring up.
He said that there was way too much political correctness on KD, and that most times, he feels that commenters sometimes just want to sound right and are not necessarily being honest.
I pressed for further explanation, because I wasn’t sure of what he meant, and he said that KD is supposed to be an accurate sample size for Nigerian gay men, but often times, what he observes on the blog is not always what he sees in real life.
He gave a few examples. He said that MGMs are often vilified on KD, like they are the worst people, and that many guys on KD swear not to want anything to do with them. But that in real life, that is not the case. The number of guys who come on to him, according to him, has quadrupled since he got married, and that in fact, many men come on to him the minute they hear that he is married. It would appear his married status is a turn-on for very many guys he meets. So he is often confused with the comments he sees. He often wonders which it is the commenters are doing – lying or being politically correct.
He gave another example about the day the issue of impersonation online was discussed; that it was only ‘Sweet Deola’ (his words not mine) who owned up that he does it sometimes. And everyone else denied ever doing it. However, it is something that happens. So, who then does it, he queried.
We argued a bit about this, and at a point, I kept quiet when I began to realize that he was actually right. Please do not turn this issue into another bloodbath, guys, but I want to hear your thoughts on this.
XOXO
DM
About the issue of perpetual agreement to everything right on KD, your MGM friend could be right. I have observed that here myself. But that is not to say that the commenters here don’t actually live the lives they speak of here. I mean, come on, there are only a minimal handful of commenters here, compared to the legion that make up the Nigerian LGBT community. You can’t afford to be patronising of the points of views expressed here, thinking ALL gay men in Nigeria share the same views. Not even everyone knows about KD.
So while there are people here who don’t shag married men or use other people’s photos online, there may be a world of Nigerian gay men who read KD but not comment, or who haven’t heard of KD, or who have but are not readers — all of them who do exactly these things.
Lol. I thought so too. I suspect the distinctions will be blurred. Some people will use this to tout about how they don’t agree with ‘the crowd’ on KD. Whereas what the issue is on here is how KD readers may or may not be too politically correct.
I think Dubem nailed the issue.
I expect people to know the difference. Political correctness amd asskissing is not the same thing, but then again its up to anyone to make whatever assumptions that best suits them.
Dubem clearly understood my point!
Or you could write an piece for KD on that. 😀
Be hunting for stories upanddown! Madam Editirx
Heheheheheee!!!
Pp, dont mind DM, there will come the time,
just make sure you edit am well and permission
to add your own jara is allowed 🙂
*rubbing hands together in glee* Write on, hon. And let me at it. 😀
Chris hun, sha dont piss off PP before sending your piece! If not eh, your story shall enter 4 pages on KD #NoShade
Hahahahahahahahaa!!! Dennis, you sef. One shouldn’t fail to learn from the Teflondon fiasco.
The guy has a big folder on you oooo! Was even angry you made certain salacious body parts disappear in the name of being healthy!
Today na mint tea shey :)?
I guess if you are ‘sweet’
then you are 🙂
‘Y air ur dirty undies in public when u can let it dry in ur bathroom?
LMAO!!! That is priceless. Kryxxx, may I borrow that line for any fictional piece I may write in future?
LMAO!!!!
What else did the guy say?
pp and myself wants to know 🙂
🙂
@ Pp , in Glee ko, on Empire ni 🙂
DM, thanks for the warning jare.
Not just any undies oh, those ones that have d brown patches that run from below d D to d butt crack. Am sure we all have one. Lol!
Its all urs Pinky! Take it away!
Chai! LMAO. Those ones are the nastiest. The type you most certainly do not want Fumike from the opposite apartment to see you spreading on the clothesline.
I was shocked too ooooo, hian!!!, but come oooo i love it when you are mean and shady, I don’t see much of it now…..Sweet Deola is no fun *pouting petulantly*
Ah ah! If na face me I face you, u hang it on ur window in ur room! U don’t want to b d broda with d brown patched pants to d kids in d yard naa!
I have my eyes on you. Hi Chris
Because Deola is my bae. *kisses*
Many guys run to u as soon they realised u r married. Okay oo, I just wonder hw true it is.
Isnt that why we are different colossus honey? We handle things differently!
Ever since that episode she has been on her lane and I on mine. We communicate mostly via email and it works fine. I had to stop the **insert B word** in her tracks
Actually he is not
*gulping back laughter* *picking up my cup of tea to mind my own business*
hey dude warrup? Colossus , tell us whats up for the day:)?
@Deola, did you go to dibia go collect divine soap?
curiousity can kill the cat but leave etory, just tell us.
Okay, this one na better advice, espescially for some of us dudes that
wear white underpants only, yes o…
Hahaha. Well that was abrupt
Pp, minding your own business indeed!
You think my God didnt see you
Ahhhh, thank goodness, he kept the good stuff…..*winks @ Deola*
An unpaid biography! Hahahahahahahahaa!!! The wit on KD sometimes ehn.
I agree with you, everyone has their challenges so do not make fun of others. She crossed a line with her comment and she has been stylishly shading me for so long. I had to put an end to it, we both crossed lines na abi? So according to mathematicians, line crossing cancels line crossing!
Facebook helps. Wedding pictures are added to TL, thirst spikes
U can come on here and lie from here to Jericho, there is so much of ur weight ur lies can carry before it caves
**gropes around in the dark, PP what happened to the lights**
I never led her on, I was being a good friend. Her actions surprised me because she should know there was no sexual chemistry between us. I mean we have gone on holidays together a few times and shared hotel rooms, slept on the same bed after chatting away. So im confused where ds is coming from
Youre so wrong for this @Kryxxx.
white underpants only?? Y’all are the real MVP! Strictly colored underwear. BTW hi Chris. Love a clean man.
We should also keep it in mind that the line between does two can easily be blurred. Being politically correct, can be seen as not keeping it 100. So at the end of the day you are going with the crowd just cos u don’t want to kick up dust.
Lmfao
Actually, TEF is the most hated dude on KD according to real life Polls..
He’s even surpassed his predecessors
Be blushing like a peacock there oooo “sweet deola” shiooor. I know say u don blush all colors of the rainbow today. Big baby
Hey D-boy , whats good?
HHahahaha kryxxX!!!!!! There are pikin and There is PIKIN!!!!
Before I laff die oga laundry man abeg u get any idea why boxers and briefs dey change color and quick tear for that part where the ballz , cock head and cock pit dey rest? #AskingForSweetDeola
Dennis u might not ve thought about it, but she has been busy with such thought. I can assure you that she has tried her hands on other men and it failed and subconsciously started thinking of how great the chemistry you guys ve.
In my years of denial, I ve have had girls, that classmate and friends thought we were dating or intimate on the DL but nothing happened/was happening.
The girl is multiplying how well you guys gel together as just friends by what you guys would be like or accomplish as a couple.
Lmao! Hain
Hated for always speaking the truth?
Let’s just say I’m the “Jesus christ” of KD.
In his time, Jesus was hated, abused and killed for always speaking the truth. (Truth can be hurtful most times.)
Bless you,Peak.
By the way Dennis,I thought the name that Mac guy gave you guys is LICKSPITTLE and not Lipstick,lol.
Don’t mind me,just trying to peck some fight this morning.This place becoming somewhat boring with all the kumbayah and pc going on.
The Jesus Christ of KD.
Wow.
And I thought your conceit couldn’t get any worse.
By all means, JC, carry on with your efforts to deliver KDians to heaven.
@Tef, dear you dont speak the truth – please delude yourself not, you rather look for the most obnxious reasons to nitpick and muddy up the convo at the weirdest and most inappropriate of times … big difference!
Nna PP ifu kwa? I’m just clutching to my rosary for patience.
@Claron, we modified the name to our own taste, thank you.. Ain’t nobody gon dictate to us what our gang’s name should be.
Lol! Max! I always picture you in a purple voltron/iron man suit.
White Underpants?! Golsh! Can we be friends Chris? :’)
Hey R.A…. waddup i just saw you, have not re visited this page since
Methinks Dennis just handed the ‘I’m not an ass kisser’ club members ammunition to be self righteous on KD today. lol
Some women are yearning to do the do ie get married but cant handle the complexities of being with somebody that is sexually attracted to the opposite sex.( some can though, evidently).
I would’ve tied up Grace matter the same way you did, only for her ears, not throwing tantrums, ‘farabale’ and cooly responded and in a professional way and then am gone. Mariage is not meant for everybody and it has
nothing to do with sexuality.
DM, your MGM mate is probably right you know. Some guys on KDiaries are afraid of being themselves for
for fear of reprisal. Some says the right thing because they want to belong. The issue of impersonating with other people pics is a no no, it is an impression that one is a liar. It is a fetish for some dudes to be attracted
to MGM and MBM. I can write a book on that.
Sweet Deola ke?? hmmmm. ***sips mint tea***
Dennis Ajo onu!
Tufia!
You just finished aunty Gracy nd her husband! Y evuls! Lol! But some ppl really deserve what dey get from other ppl shaa! You go about poking ur head into ppl’s personal business nd expect not to b washed! Hell no! Personally, I try to b cool, calm, friendly nd collected, but when u step on me to d point of no return, I go all laundry man on u! Soak, wash, rinse, dry, iron nd fold u into ur rightful place! Lets just say my sis got same last night!
On the ish of political correctness, I try to b honest oh but I think ppl come out as so bcos its d right thing to do most of the time! Y air ur dirty undies in public when u can let it dry in ur bathroom? U wouldn’t expect me to call into a radio station in Naija nd be honest about my sexuality? I have to be Naija politically correct. You go with d flow of others but you know who u r!
Nd bia, was it only me that saw the ” dear Deola” part?
Ellllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh!
Deola! Your akara is selling hot hot oh! Akara di oku! Ude gi na ede na KD na edekwa n’ugwu na ndida!
I dont buy the bathroom thing jare unless nobody
have access to your bathroom, if na face me and
face you, ok oh!
I am of the opinion u prolly led her to believe u wud marry her. Somehow, u must av hung on in d hopes that if the external pressure became too much, u wud marry her…more like a 2nd option
As for d case ur MGM friend brought up, I’m not surprised it may be true. I have a friend who adopted the ‘I don’t like Married Men’ stance I take cos I am always vocal about it but everytime we settle down to gist, its a married man story or another. Guys like the challenge a married man poses. He is JUST conquest. He shud see himself as Bushmeat. But I do know for certain loads of gay guys like older men, and a married man here in this country is an ‘older’ man
Why roll your eyes at the mention of a guy getting married? You don’t know his story, he might actually believe he is ready.
I would have handled your female colleague in another way but that’s me, we are different.
Yes, there is a lot of political correctness on KD and sometimes it can be suffocating. That is the ills of living an online life, one dissociated from the real world. It’s easy to type and type and type, saying you believe one thing for after all, who can verify. But when you come into the real world, things change, reality kicks in and that online persona takes a back seat.
Ass kissing is basically a crass term for political correctness, it’s synonymous in a way.
Your friend must be a fan of Teflondon….Lol@Political Correctness
The guy said the truth.
I’m jst imagining how Madam Grace’s Legs would become so heavy n rooted to d ground after she heard wat u said!
To move would b an issue
Her life jst flashed b4 her in a second.
An unpaid biography!
Remind me never to get in ur way.
But Dude u were harsh.
I guess U spoke outta anger.
Me thinks,U shuld say a word of apology to her n jst try and make her a lil happy. U can b playful about it n trust me,it’d make her sleep better @ night.
Life’s hard n everyone is carrying a cross
U mustn’t be friends but “Let’s follow Peace with all men.
Nice read as always.
Cheers
Your MGM friend might find this hard to believe but yes, there are people who are repulsed by actions which are inherently deceitful (The use of fake pictures and shameless, stupid married men cheating on their wives). Thankfully it would appear that KD is a forum for people who value honesty and truth as evidenced by the “hypocrisy” and “political correctness”.
BTW, where does he meet these guys that come onto him? Do they spot the ring and pounce? :s Do they make random approaches in the street? At church?
Ok I ve a jane too in my life right now. Old classamte and one of the few ppl in my class who’s in tune with pop culture, fun loving, goofy and well rounded in the right areas. Had a crush on me back in school but like u, I played the “I dont wanna lose our friendship card” (honestly I dont think its a good idea to date someone u are good friends with, I just start seeing all kinds of doom. And good friends are hard to find these days). Well lets just say she has chosen 2015 to sidon 4 my matter. Aside from sitting on a very long thing, marriage is the least of my worries right now. So good luck to her.
On the issue of KD ppl forming prim and proper, ur guy is so so right. I’m sure I mentioned it to someone off KD, that the place sounds like lala land when u compare it to what is obtainable in the streets. And there is this bandwagoning trend. Where a notable commenter says something and everybody and their mother agrees with him so they can appear cool too. We cant all be posh, fly and ve a gleaming moral compass. U can come on here and lie from here to Jericho, there is so much of ur weight ur lies can carry before it caves
Dennis “Nwokem” Macaulay…. You had the audacity to come into Abuja and you had pizza with Jane or whatever her name is and not me abi? Pinky shey you’re seeing what am seeing. If I drop his “nna bros” ass on the side, people will say am wicked.
Anyway I know how to treat your fuck up. Am just glad karma dealt with you (albeit subtly) by making you almost choke on your meal.
****
On a more serious note though, family pressure is a killer. Be it as a child where you’re “pressured” (in this bit I use it loosely) to be better than your mates who are taking first in class. OR the pressure as an adult to get married and the pressure to have kids like your mates!! At the end of the day it’s almost as if you’re living life in a pressure cooker.
I do sincerely hope that your friend does not end up hurting herself (physically or emotionally) in the long run simply because of family pressure.
****
Ass kissing/Political Correctness vs KD
I believe that in any gathering (be it online or in real life) there will be a few people that standout more than others and also there are those who will hang onto their every word and immediately agree with all they say without giving it much thought. In the same vein there are people with similar ideologies and they tend to hold sway as the majority.
Why my epistle-like prologue you make ask? Your MGM friend has decided to see the glass as half empty and not full. There’s no doubt that there is an ass kissing gang here on KD, but at the same time we live in a country that encourages us gay people to conform and blend in. Also the climate has made it possible for people to have similar experiences & drew the same conclusion.
So your friend should stop seeing KD as one half and not whole.
****
Grace issue, you handled it alot better than I would have. Also I think it was very considerate of you not to take the shine away from you colleague’s announcement. I see people saying you handled it a bit harsh, I say bullshit. You don’t draw that kind of blood and not expect me to bite back. Mbanu… I’ll bite and tear some skin sef.
Great entry today DM… Oya see me in private and explain yourself. Then I’ll determine a suitable punishment for you
Sigh. If not for Traffic, I would’ve been here earlier. I have a lot of things I’d like to say about a lot of things you wrote here, but I’m gonna start with the last and work my way up.
I personally diskike MGM’s. I would NEVER do anything with one, NEVER!!!!. Maybe the guys your friend meet don’t visit KD, so they don’t comment. And also about political correctness, KD’s purpose is to enlighten people and erase the myopic and silly way most gay Nigerians think. Its about fixing the Nigerian gay man’s psyche. So people are allowed to comment and say their mind, but when they derail, they’re called to order by people who know better. And also people evolve here, they change and start understanding more and more, maybe that’s why the comments might seem a tad patronizing sometimes. They’ve evolved.. Plain and simple.
A friend of mine told me I’m selfish for not wanting to get married, I told him- “Let it be”. Just like your office, people are getting married here everyday too. Its open season around here. I find it annoying, what people put themselves through just to get married, as if its some sort of requirement.
I hate the ” idea” of marriage mostly because of how people go on and on about it. Nice one DM.. I’m yet to put a bitch in her place here, they’ve been minding their bidniss of late.
The one’s that have different and distinct opinions are marginalized and attacked by the ‘lipstick gang’ ( your words not mine) which includes the admin and yourself and would explain why some ppl’s comments ( Think Chizzie et Lord and co) are missing. I used to look forward to a certain person’s comments on this particular post and now its history. And now most just sing to the same tune, cause they’ll rather not be picked on. oh well
I particularly enjoy female company, but lately its becoming harder to have genuine friendships with ladies. I like to go on dates; dinners, see a movie etc. Most times, i don’t necessarily want anything sexual.
Society has put so much pressure on us, that we don’t even know how to enjoy other people’s company. It has to always be an indication of sexual or relationship interest.
Its worse for ladies, who begin to feel like you are wasting their time as its not going anywhere.
Growing up, I had to embrace political correctness. I never liked to rouse issues with certain people. I tend to get mad and I had to find a way around it. Hence me becoming “differently moraled”.
I feel If the first words out of your mouth/fingers are to cry ‘political correctness!’, … chances are very, very high that you are in fact part of the problem.
Does political correctness have a good side? Yes, it does, for it makes us re-examine attitudes, and that is always useful. The trouble is that, with all popular movements, the lunatic fringe so quickly ceases to be a fringe; the tail begins to wag the dog. For every man who is quietly and sensibly using the idea to examine our assumptions, there are 20 rabble-rousers whose real motive is desire for power over others, no less rabble-rousers because they see themselves as better than anyone.
Changing the way we talk is not political correctness run amok. It reflects an admirable willingness to acknowledge others who once were barely visible to the dominant culture, and to recognize that something that may seem innocent to you may be painful to others.
And I know the term “Political correctness” is as exploitable as any other progressive ideal, but sometimes its aims to stifle the incessant noise of those who flap their careless fingers and type away without a thought about those they might rile up with their Lummox and myopic idiosyncrasies.
Hmmmmm *sips agbo jedi*
My eyes have seen o KD people.
After “having mouth” for several weeks about never conceding to the bullying of the high and might chaperones of KD’s Elite, a certain individual has announced his soon-to-be-departure from our fake midst.
He will be missed.
Bisou Bisou Cheri.
Withal… Don’t forget to learn how to carry two 25litres keg like your mentor when you get back out there shogbo?
Orisirisi.
I’ll try not to say much as I wouldn’t want to steal the shine off this piece.
I fill this is the right time to address this.
Everyone wants to go after (abuse and insult) Teflon don because that’s the trend, people even go to some disgraceful levels so as to look cool and accepted by all.
I make my opinions as I see fit I don’t do it to sound different or annoy anyone.. sometimes I could go overboard.. But that’s just for humor sake. I believe life shouldn’t be taken too serious.. All the time, We should get to laugh at times even when something serious is discussed. And that was and is still my Aim on KD. We should learn to accommodate others no matter how different their opinions might seem. (And I’m the front runner of that on KD).
People came the other time releasing details of me on KD just to get back at me.. I think that was the height. We all know not everyone who visits KD means well.. Some stranger, Govt agent or something might be trying to track people on here.. Who knows? You can’t be too careful (I know some would say well, I released details of myself first on my Kito story. But I never mentioned specifics abt myself. Did I?)
Ok ok! Let me just stop here before I write an epistle.
I miss Chizzie, I miss Lord, I miss all the different people with different traits and opinions that used to be on here. Is it a coincidence all these people are gone?
Let’s embrace our differences.. It makes the world, it makes KD a beautiful place to visit.
P.S
IDGA rat shit if anyone is my fan or not. He’s a fan of Teflondon. Actually he is not! Seriously who cares?
Hmm…I’m so tempted right now, but naaaahhhh…my neck dey pain me,plus,let’s face it,what would be d point? *sigh*
On the issue of political correctness and following the crowd, I don’t feel anyone should go lamenting that he doesn’t comment because others toe the same line. If you have an opinion, a genuine one that is, that you feel strongly about or you feel that the community is going astray, then you should declare it. I would go as far as saying it is a duty because it could help someone here. That’s part of the reason this blog was created. But if you don’t then hold your peace. It is said that the only condition necessary for evil to prevail is when the good men do nothing. So except you don’t feel you are good or you feel your opinions don’t matter, I don’t see why anyone should not comment on what he feels to be right. This is an ‘anonymous’ blog (I’m beginning to doubt the anonymity though), so even if someone challenges your opinion it is only online and that is just it.
I have noticed that there are some people here that take contrary views just for its sake. I think it is insincere and should stop. People here are smart and will always notice. And it is also said that no man yet ever became great by imitation.
As regards married gay men, it is true that they have received a bad rap here but like JustJames or Absalom said once, we should learn to accept everyone as we do not know their stories or something to that effect. I think it is about time one of the married people amongst us told their story. How did you come to the decision, any challenges, joys, regrets…etc. Sounds like a term paper question but it would help a lot.
Another great Piece Dennis, muah!! Jane is being a typical Nigerian woman, she is creeping up (very fast), on 30, and for her and all around her, life has become all about marriage or nothing else. Sigh … you cant change Nigerians’ mentality/culture no matter how you try, change will come when it will come as it it will come if it will come … not holding my breath. If she rushes and ends up with the wrong guy; well, well what can you do?
Lol @ Marrying up and down, it is a lifetime achievement for most Nigerians, didn’t you get the memo yet? He has achieved a major feat by getting married less than 2 years after landing a job! Oh God!! Dennis, for the response you gave that retarded bitch, you deserve 20 hot Puerto Rican twinks to give you 20 mind blowing orgasms in a 24hr period … God!! Just reading that response was like a surge of pure euphoric crack to my brain. I think a lot of Nigerians fly into a jealous envious rage when they see a young, dashing, and rising man who has a good life and is unencumbered by the living hell that is marriage for most of them! – yes quote me on that! A lot of Nigerian marriages are hellish charades which are only propped up by societal expectations, and so when they see a dashing young man who isn’t (yet), in it, they fly into a jealous, indignant, self – righteous rage and attempt to tear him down. Dennis hun, you gave it to her real good.Thanks!! leave her to stew in her misery of a life, scraping and scrounging from paycheck to loan to paycheck!!!
I personally don’t give a shit about whether a man is married to 1 wife or 4 wives, if he catches my fancy and I his, we are going to fuck! – end of story! But then, there are some dashingly handsome young married guys these days, no?
Great Piece Dennis ***hops aboard Boeing 747 Jumbo jet to Puerto Rico to go find waif – like – muscled and delicate jawed twinks for DM***
Something life changing happened to me on Saturday and Sunday and I am scared to share the story here. I want to, but I know some people will use it against me. We all can’t be the same, we are not perfect, we all have different perceptions of life. We came here to learn and to share life’s experiences, but it seems like some people have taken it upon themselves to determine who is good enough to comment and what kind of comment one is expected to make. Variety is the spice of life….
Dennis, I’ll try to answer your MGM.
The reason you become a more attractive target after getting married is a matter of economics. Many of the bottoms see you as wealthier since you can afford to marry. That makes you a better draw.
Your marriage also signals that you’re a safe partner. You have something to lose, so you’re not likely to kito anyone. You’re also unlikely to be demanding – they can fuck you once or twice a week and have other guys on their roster.
Thanks.
Tiercel, the way to identify good arguments is as follows:
State your claim. Give the evidence for that claim, as well as the mandate(ie how the evidence proves the claim). These three steps always show which argument deserves respect and which don’t.
I know a MGM who lives down my street, people know him as gay man,he claims to be married and no one has ever seen his “SO CALLED WIFE”. To cut the long story short he is a Hardcore Man hoe who goes after teenage/early tween boys. I dnt think it’s all MGM who are been chased …
I’m going to assume that anyone who’d stoop low to use another’s picture on social media wouldn’t also want to be identified on a gay blog. But then, isn’t that quite insulting to think an average KDian would be a culprit? If I have 1000 Facebook connections, only 0.01 is using someone else’s picture; most anonymous profiles use a body picture or something abstract.
How many comments were recorded below the ‘fake profile’ post? How many of the commenters said they never did it? Up to 10?? The bias is deep.
I’m pro-abortion. In a forum filled with Catholic nuns and such issue comes up, I’ll most likely say nothing because it’d have little to no effect. The same applies to the dearth of divergent opinions here.
Also, a lot of people have said that since visiting KD, a lot has changed about them. Do we expect these people to keep commenting as before? The bias is deep.
Your friend got married and attracted people who like MGM/MBM, he didn’t attract people on the other side. A lot of people said they’d never be attracted to Ms Eniola Badmus but that wouldn’t stop others from being attracted to her. Your friend definitely didn’t attract the guys whose comments he read.
Finally…
*Nigerians condemn corruption but lots of Nigerians are corrupt. Does that mean the campaigns are fake? Nope.
*Nigerians condemn homosexuality, but many Nigerians are homosexuals. Does that mean the homophobia is fake? Nope.
If I remember correctly, most of the commenters (even those missing him now) were against Chizzie @ the height of the debacle. In fairness to Tef, he’d always supported Chizzie. But then, he never received the heat and we know what player out when he did.
My point: Assuming that people’s opinions are fake isn’t any different from Chizzie assuming Dennis’ life is fake. That to me is a lame point.
On Teflon Don, King/Lord, Chizzie…etc. Osama bin Laden had an opinion. Did the world accept it?? Were we kissing ass??
-You love to argue
-You love copying the West (like all Westerners hold same view)
-Are you god?
-Are you any better?
-You too like ITK
-You like copying people
….all dumb attempts to end an argument.
Political correctness isn’t about not saying what you feel, it’s about not inflaming ‘political’ hotspots. And if there’s anything I know, conservatives rarely try to play correct.
“Atheists & gays are going to hell!!” — Correct
“Religion is stupid & outdated” — Incorrect
The bias is deep as shit.
Nah,I’m not a defense lawyer neither do I think you a bad guy.A tad too sentimental,especially as concern your friends maybe.
I do get people make their own decision whether to comment on kd or not,but there’s such thing as hounding those who hold a contrary opinion to the one held by a particular group on this board.As Admin,you can’t say you’re not aware of it.They say things others would and get censured,yet they go scot-free.THAT is what I’m about.
Be nice,pinkpanther
Jeova Sanctus Unus, you have been noticed.
I LOVE ME A GOOD ARGUMENT…this right here is a perfect one. I am expecting a rebuttal very soon.
@Tiercel de claron! So bcos nobody gree throw firewood for KD fire, na him make u decide to start forest fire by urself for urself? Baba god de see u.
I ve weighed and seen reasons behind ur arguments (some, not all) . What I will not stand and watch u go on about, is ur idea that every comment/opinion deserves respect. I’m here to learn and tap into varying views about life and how it affects my sexuality. If someone is soiling or threatening to destroy that source or pollute the enabling environment, its my job to stand up and speak against it. In case u don’t know the gravity of what u are asking me to respect, let me clarify for u by putting forward a couple of example. U are asking me to respect a comment that says Muslims are a violent lots and know nothing beyond being violent and myopic? You are asking me to respect that someone called himself as jesus christ(in not a religious fanatic, but I was raised to know that there are things you don’t joke around with), U ask me to respect a comment that constantly refer to other MEN as she, lady, women all in a bid to steer up chaos?
You can’t say something offensive and expect ppl to applaud that or expect ppl to respect that all in the name of being civil. Dimkpa, Dubem, SJU, sensei are some of the commenters here who comment and u find ppl agreeing with them. The big question I want to put to you now is -why do ppl “pile up on” certain commenter and applaud other or should I say “kiss their ass”. When u are able to provide a convincing argument for the above question, then we can get somewhere, until then, I will just take ur rant as an attempt to establish urself as a troublemaker here.
Finally went through the comments. Halleluyah.
I think we should be more concerned about our comments and the message we are passing across and not the responses to our comments … i feel if i said my mind (in deed and in truth) then i shouldnt be bothered about what comes after…someone (even if na one) will learn from it.
… i see some comments as an attempt to get a response (from someone or anyone).
Odaaro.
Before I read this, I was in a nasty mood- too many irritants in this life. But honey, YASSS for that read. Ooh, you read Grace for filth! Chile, I wish I were there to see it, they would have thought I was the one doing wedding. Lol. I’m now joyous.
I think it’s unfair that gay men marry women to live up to standards, but I will be the first to say that I considered for years. However, it still doesn’t justify the hurt and lack of love the woman would feel. Maybe this is the feminist in me voicing her ever “fairytale” opinions, but it is what I honestly and truthfully believe. In other note, I will never go out of my way to cheat with an MGM, but if he is foiine, and rich, then say hello to the new Cinderella.
I stumbled on this blog (long story) and most of the non fiction stories I find very interesting. I’m straight BTW, have 2 gay friends.
my 2 cent… Dennis, are you sure you were not beefing the guy getting married? Why should you roll your eyes? Newsflash- some people wanna marry early!!
I think a lot of folks here are smart! Very impressive. Whatever you do with your life, happiness is the most important.
I also have a lot of non-ignorant questions…I will ask just 1 for now…why are you guys feisty? There’s a feisty guy at work and now am starting to think he is gay.