Still In Lust With The Man Who Kitoed Me (Part 2)
Previously on STILL IN LUST WITH THE MAN WHO KITOED ME…
*
I finally summoned courage to call Dubem.
I got his number from the caretaker. I dialed the number with a palpitating heart. It was like that kind of feeling I imagined Daniel from the Bible got when he was made to walk into the lion’s den. Wishing the lions were asleep or recently too well fed to devour him.
On the second ring, a girl picked up the phone. She told me Dubem was busy, and if I was someone he knew. I told her I was his tenant-to-be and I had an issue that needed clarification. The girl loudly repeated my words like she had an audience. I heard Dubem’s voice in the background asking if I couldn’t speak to the caretaker. The girl later told me he’d call me back when he was free.
I waited till 11 pm, too distracted to finish the work I brought home, my phone on my chest. Just when I resolved that he wouldn’t call and was about to slide off into what I was sure was going to be a troubled sleep, my phone rang.
I answered and Dubem’s sexy voice poured into my ear from the other end. As soon as I said hello, he called me by my name.
“How did you know it was me?” I said.
He laughed and said he would recognize my voice anywhere. He asked me about my complaint. I had totally forgotten that that was my ruse for talking to him and experienced some panic when I realised I didn’t have anything to say. So, I swiftly came up with something I’d overheard some people say about mosquitoes. He said he was working on it, but in the meantime, he would instill nets in all the apartment windows. He also said something about fumigation, but I really wasn’t paying attention. I was simply enraptured by the sound of his voice.
He called my name again to check if I was still on the line. And I just blurted out that I wanted to see him, if he was okay with it. He told me he’d be in Enugu for quite a while, but if I could make a trip down there whenever he was free, we could chill. I asked him how the weekend would work out for him. He said it was cool. We soon disconnected after he’d enquired about my people.
The weekend couldn’t come any faster. I went over it in my head for the umpteenth time – about how I would confront Dubem over that dreadful day, and if he apologized, how I’d work on reigniting our friendship.
On Saturday, I called Dubem. The phone rang and he didn’t pick. I tried the number a couple more times and he still didn’t answer. I sent him messages but there were no replies. Same thing happened on Sunday, except this time, I called and his phone was switched off.
I was frustrated at this point and almost teary.
Then I got a beep on WhatsApp and it was from my late father’s old apprentice. The guy, Nonso, had always had the hots for me but I never gave him a chance. It felt weird to me having anything intimate to do with the boy who used to call me “small sir”.
Now he was a successful trader at Main Market and never failed to get my new line whenever I changed it.
I needed to be distracted and he was it. As always, he invited me to his apartment, an invitation he’d be extending for the umpteenth time. I suppose he was waiting for my usual No, and sounded taken aback when I said OK.
As I drove to Asaba that evening, my mind was still fixated on Dubem and what was looking like his rejection of me.
I arrived at Nonso’s house around 7 pm. He told me he couldn’t believe I was finally at his place. I regretted going there the moment I walked in. Nonso was a good-looking man, in every sense of it, but there was something about his countenance and the way he drew his words that made him very uninteresting to me. I told him I had to get on home in about 30 minutes, and he got quite upset. He told me to spend the night, that he’d prepare the guest room for me. I was in no mood to drive back, so I accepted the gesture.
In the middle of the night, he slid into my bed and I felt his fumbling hands on my crotch. I shoved him off and asked him what he was doing. He got to his knees and started begging. He told me this was maybe his last opportunity to ever do something with me.
He started fondling me again, and this time, I didn’t protest. I was too emotionally down to shake him off anyway. He started pulling off my clothes, and when he reached for his boxers and took it off in one swipe, I knew it was over. I asked him if he had a condom. He didn’t. I got one from my wallet because I always carried one around. He proceeded to eat my ass like it was some new flavor of ice cream. I’d had my ass eaten a couple of times before, but Nonso was a pro. He opened it and licked the hole. Then he took my dick in his mouth and gave me the best blow job I’d ever had. I came in his mouth and he swallowed. Then he wanted to kiss me but I resisted. He didn’t seem to mind. He grabbed me and turned me like a piece of doll. And with a ferocity I thought he never had, wanted to dive into my ass. I told him that he couldn’t go in without a lube. He begged me to let him use his spit. I firmly refused, telling him how dangerous it was. Saliva on a condomed dick? That was just recipe for a disastrous fuck.
Seemingly satisfied that he’d at least gotten some kind of sex from me, he acquiesced and went to bed.
The next morning, I was showering to get to work early when Nonso accosted me in the bathroom. It would seem he had stepped out early to get a lube. I told him the previous night’s mood was gone and I wouldn’t be having sex with him. But he wasn’t having it. He begged and pleaded, and when I couldn’t take it anymore, I allowed him. He grabbed my fat ass like he was folding bread and planted a kiss on my lips. He was a terrible kisser, but he kissed with enthusiasm.
After some breathless suffocating moments, he let go of my lips and went to the nipples. He sucked the life out of them before proceeding to bend me over, and with the aid of the lube and the protection of a condom, pushed his average dick inside me.
What he lacked in penis size, he made up for in vigour. He thrust in and out of me with some expertise. And when he couldn’t take us standing anymore, he moved us to his room and took me with my face down. Then sideways, then the spooning position.
I thoroughly enjoyed the sex, but I couldn’t help but feel he was exerting some type of revenge on me for all the times I turned him down.
After I’d cum multiple times and he finally came, we cleaned off and he begged me to give him a lift. He had on some kind of stupid smile throughout our journey. And I was glad when I finally got rid of him.
At work, I went on with my business. I had missed calls but I’d made it a policy not to answer calls at the office. It was when I was done for the day and was going through my missed calls that I saw that six of them were from Nonso and one was from Dubem.
My heart leaped.
I wanted to call Dubem back right away, but I restrained myself. I wiped off the call log, so I wouldn’t accidentally dial the number and went to bed.
The next morning, I awoke to the sound of my phone ringing. It was Dubem. I waited till the second ring before picking. His voice sounded as calm and sexy as ever. He apologised for not picking my calls during the weekend, said it was because of something related with work. Asked me If I could come to Enugu that day. I told him it was a work day, and I was swamped with work. He asked me to take the day off, that I could come up with something. I’d never skipped work in my life, not even when I had the worst bout of typhoid. And here I was making an excuse just to run off to go see Dubem.
When I called in to say I had an emergency, the manager was surprised. He told me the thing that kept me off work must be something pretty serious. If only he knew.
I took the laborious journey to Enugu, all the while questioning my sanity. When I finally got there, I called Dubem. He didn’t answer. I was getting ready to haul my device in anger across the road when I got a call back. He apologized, asked me where I was. I told him. He directed me to where I would meet him.
He was clad in all white with palm slippers on his feet, looking like some demi god. He looked tired, but he was still so handsome. His face lit up in a smile as I approached him. He told me his friend owned the joint, and that he often came there to chill. He asked me what I would like to drink, and I declined. I needed to get something off my chest first, but seeing Dubem made me weak.
He said he wouldn’t take no for an answer, that I was in his territory and he was going to spoil me. He took me to the plaza and bought me all sorts of things. I didn’t need them; I had four good shirts for work and two good quality chinos trousers, and I was prepared to wear them throughout the year. I always went for quality over quantity, but Dubem was buying me all sort of things. When he was done shopping for me, I had a bag full of things I mostly didn’t need.
He invited me back to his hotel. There was a girl lying on the bed when we got into his room. When she spoke, I recognised the voice who’d answered me the first time I called Dubem. He whispered something to her while caressing her ass, and she got up from the bed with a sulking expression, and with a hip-swaying movement, left the room.
“Women,” Dubem scoffed, stealing a solidarity glance at me. But I gave him back a blank stare.
He told me to make myself comfortable and asked me if I wanted anything else. I’d had enough for the day, so I quickly declined.
There was a moment of awkward silence and then suddenly I found my voice. I opened my mouth and my questions started coming. I asked him about what happened in 2010, about what he and his friends did to me. I told him how I still had nightmares because of that evening, and that even though I’d largely forgiven him, it was still hard to forget.
When I finished, there was at once a long stretch of quietness.
Then he began to speak. He told me that that day still haunted him. That he’d wanted to bring it up that first day we met, but didn’t know how I would react. He told me he had done some shitty things in his life but that day lingered on his mind, because he had been through the same, in prison, stripped of power and dignity and at the mercy of a gang.
He asked me if I would find a way in my heart to forgive him.
I couldn’t hold it any longer. I couldn’t keep my emotions in check any longer. I burst into tears. Eight years after perfecting my masculine gait and voice and demeanour, I was back to what I was – a femme. I just sat there and sobbed.
Dubem moved close to me and wrapped me in his muscular arms. Cocooned in his embrace, I was assailed by his enchanting scents.
“So, you still behave like a girl,” he mocked with light-hearted humour. “You’re now a man, act like a man.”
He gently laid my head on his thighs. My face mere inches from his bulge as he gently caressed my head. After sometime, he told me he had to make a call and he’d be back shortly. Before he left the room, he got me cold water from the fridge.
The call seemed to be taking forever and the day was thinning down. I was getting ready to leave when he came back. He told me to spend the night, that I could leave early the next day. I told him I’d already been absent from work and I didn’t want to be late. He said I wouldn’t be, that he’d make sure to wake me up early. I asked him where the girl from before would sleep, and he said she was his friend’s girl, so she’d most likely sleep with her boyfriend.
The rest of the day was pretty much unceremonious. We flipped through a couple of Nigerian films. I couldn’t stand them but Dubem seemed to love them, and he kept laughing out loud at the antics of the actors on the screen.
That night, I decided to give Dubem a taste of his own medicine. I proceeded to strip off all my clothes and walked into the bathroom stark naked. My body wasn’t bristling with muscles but it was toned from years of unplanned dieting and my extra-fat ass was an added bonus.
I wasn’t in the shower for long before Dubem walked in, as naked as the day he was born. He asked me to help him scrub his back, I took the soap and gently applied it on his back. Then I slid down to his muscled ass and cupped it, my heart beating ferociously, thinking he’d stop me. He didn’t. Instead, he guided me around to his front and put his large dick in my mouth. I’d never sucked a dick that huge, and I almost choked, but somehow, I managed and sucked it like a pro. He lifted me up like I was some piece of doll and bent me over. There was no foreplay, no kissing, nothing. He simply pushed forward.
When his dick prodded my ass, I immediately became agitated. This dude was about to penetrate me without protection. I stopped him, told him I had a packet of condoms with me. He told me he didn’t enjoy sex with condoms. Besides, he said, I was a man, not some cheap South African hoe who fucks around.
That seemed to do it for me, the fact that he placed me above the women he had had.
Luckily his penis was a shower not a grower, and was basically the same size when erect. He fucked me ferociously. Slapping my ass with reckless abandon. Then when he was done with the doggy style, he lifted me above the sink near the mirror, covered my penis with a towel because apparently the sight of it turned him off, and began to fuck me again. I tried to kiss him but he kept his lips averted.
When he was done and came all over my body, I never felt more used than I did right there. There was something suddenly dirty and unpleasant about this experience I’d been looking forward to with Dubem almost my entire life.
He completed his bath and told me he had to make a call. And he vanished from the room. I waited and waited, and around 2 am, I fell into an uneasy sleep. I woke up around 5 am to see him snoring gently beside me.
I decided to take a quick shower and leave quietly. I was still scrubbing myself when Dubem walked into the bathroom. He took me again, the same way, though much gentler this time. He didn’t allow me to kiss him still, but he gave me a very big hug after he came inside and all over me again. He apologised for coming back late the previous night, said he was caught up with something. Helped me dress up and escorted me to my car. It was only when I got home and wanted to change that I discovered he’d left a wad of cash in my pocket. I tried to contact him but as always, his number was either not available or he just wouldn’t pick up.
Life resumed with its normal pace for me. I moved into my new apartment, focused more on work and took each day as a new challenge.
Little did I know my life would soon change drastically.
The sickness hit me like a volcano. I thought it was malaria because that always gets me down, but after taking malaria drugs and the ailment didn’t subside, I knew I had to confront the truth.
I knew what the results would say even before the nurse handed me my HIV positive diagnosis.
I watched my life flash before my eyes and the sky turn red. The support unit had a lot to say but I wasn’t listening.
When I finally calmed myself, I began calling Dubem, calls he never picked. Then I sent a torrent of text messages, confronting him with my diagnosis and asking if he had willfully infected me. Because I knew it just had to be him. I couldn’t have gotten this from no one else but him.
After weeks of steadily ignoring my texts and calls, one day, he finally texted back. And his words were like venomous blades striking at my heart.
You should have thought about the implications of remaining gay. You just never learn. Stay away from me or I’ll expose you to everyone.
And that, my brethren, is how I was kitoed for the second time by the same person. Only this time with the bonus of a lifetime ailment.
Was I fool? Absolutely!
But I hope you all can learn from this story. When someone once shows you who they truly are, better believe them. Because people never change!
Written by Song Taehee
About author
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46 Comments
Stanley Tucci
November 26, 06:28MTCHEEEEWWWWWW!!!!!
S.W.E
November 26, 06:41Wheeeeew!!! All the lifting and turning you enjoyed though…
I’m surprised you could still allow him talk you into having unprotected sex even after the lame line of ‘putting you above the ladies in his life’…so unoriginal.
Anyways,*picks up a RED nail polish,& goes to work*
realme
November 26, 06:53oh, my, God!!!
I knew something was up…
a very powerful lesson, I got from these story.
Mandy
November 26, 06:56Oh. My. God.
Whadda — OHMYGOD!!!!! ???
How can someone be this evil?! OHMYFUCKINGGOD!!!!!!
realme
November 26, 08:48I felt like dying ….when I read the last line…I wonder how the fool could live with himself.. after doing this to his fellow human
Jinchuriki
November 26, 06:58Oh my God. ?
Nooo!
Bebe
November 26, 07:19Someone tell me this is fiction. Someone tell me that someone did not see all these warning signs and still fool himself. Having raw sex with a drug dealer. Also get screened for hep b and c because I’m pretty sure he had them both.
I feel for him, he wants affection so badly he’d take unnecessary risks. I think dubem is gay, I think he has serious ih. I think dubem hates this dude and wanted to punish. He hates you for the life you had, while he suffered. He thinks you you had paradise.
Also there is post exposure prophylaxis and pre exposure prophylaxis and these drugs prefer the spread of HIV in situations like this.
Bee
November 26, 07:29You’re picking yourself up. Good. Thank you for this message; it came at the right time.
Kenny
November 26, 07:57You’ve learnt your lesson, hopefully others can learn from this story. You’ll be fine.
Jay Armstrong
November 26, 07:58when I think of the time that I almost loved you
You showed your ass and I—I saw the real you
Thank God you blew it
I thank God I dodged the bullet
I’m so over you
So, baby, good lookin’ out.
— Beyoncé, Best Thing I Never Had.
But no! People will not hear this advice. I’m not doing revenge nor make up fuck (at least not without protection not PrEP), not until you prove to me, my instincts and intuitions that you’ve had a 360° life make over.
I’m really sorry for the dude in the picture. My advice (however unsought); let it go, heal. Live it to the universe… Karma is a messed up bitch and her addiction is retribution. You’ll just be living your life and suddenly one day, you’ll hear a news that will blow your skull off!?
Ace
November 26, 12:56“…not until you prove to me, my instincts and intuitions that you’ve had a 360° life make over”
You mean 180°, 360° means they’ve just circled back to where they started from or are caught in a perpetual cycle.
Unfortunately, karma isn’t what people seem think it is, good things happen to bad people and bad things happen to good people.
Black Coffee
November 26, 08:17Oh my. . . You mean one person experienced all these? Please tell me it’s fiction. This is really sad.
Isaac
November 26, 08:42??
realme
November 26, 09:05what killed me..most in this story …was the stupidity of dubem…so open his mouth and tell u ….he has his dick on every girl on Earth u still open ur legs, unprotected..for him to dive in…wahoo
Sharp
November 26, 09:07sighs…
sighs again…
sighs again and again…
starts shaking head…
states speechlessly at the post…
manages to type the reactions above…
closes page…
Alamu
November 26, 10:09Whoa!!!
I’m so sorry you went through all that.
I don’t think he should be blamed for what happened, it is easy for anyone who thinks they are wise and smart to get judgey, you just haven’t met that person that would make you lose all your wisdom and intelligence.
Song Taehee, you are no fool.
You did what many wise people do over and over again, maybe without consequences.
I think having raw sex is cool but if anyone is unsure of or have any form of doubt about their status especially regarding STDs that can’t be cured, it would be great if you confess this to the other person, that’s why taking regular tests are mandatory especially if you have unprotected sex regularly, but then a condom keeps things simple and makes life easier.
I’m sure there are a few people here and a lot of people out there who don’t know their statuses and assume they are negative or those ones who are relying on a test that was done last year or early this year.
People are evil oooooooo, very very very very wicked.
The fact that your life is “fucked up” or was fucked up by another person gives you no right to go on operation fuck up others.
I apologise to victims of unpleasant events, you’re allowed to hurt but then you must heal for you first and then for others, you can do better, there are good people out there, don’t go about hurting others cos it won’t make you feel better.
Keredim
November 26, 11:43Having unprotected sex with people you don’t know or not sure of their status is NOT COOL, whether the STD you may contract has a cure or not.?
Thor
November 26, 10:23Ohhhhhh. I never saw this ending coming safe for when I read the barebacking part. I couldn’t read words again but blood festooning my screen. Sigh.
Omiete
November 26, 11:53My whole body is shaking from reading this. I would have walked out on him when he said “Act like a man” the idiot. But I understand how you can have feelings for the wrong person, happens to everyone. I really hope you are okay now and taking your drugs and living life to the fullest. Please tell us you are okay.
Malik
November 26, 12:11Ah! ??
Canis VY Majoris
November 26, 12:51I hope you’ve accepted your mistakes and strengthened your resolve to live your best life.
Thank you for sharing your story with us, you’ve done a great service to a community that is easily taken advantage of by this cruel world.
@KDians, please let’s do our duty and share this story so our kindreds can learn too and eschew all “Debums” in their lives.
Francis
November 26, 13:33Story! If there’s one thing I’m sure of, it’s of the fact that people read this kain things and still walk into them because they believe their own experience will be different.
@Song: this is such a sad way to be taught a lesson in life but E don happen so na to find way to move on and LIVE. If Karma decides to visit your matter with Dubem, may it be a really BIG BITCH!
Patrick
November 26, 13:29You’ve made your mistake, Song Taehee.
It’s time to move on.
To stay healthy
And be strong
Please!
Arinze
November 26, 14:09Guys, guys, he already knows he fucked up. He paid for it the hard way. He’s brave to share his story with us all. Reflect on it, be compassionate, don’t rub it in. He already knows.
And for the judges, do we realize that a huge number of us gay men are obsessed with our abusers? Maybe not in the direct sense of an actual abuser but our fascination with heterosexual-presenting men, aka straight-acting, men who are toxic and are potentially homophobic. We are all acting out the trauma of homophobia, of being bullied as teenagers, and we rarely know this. It’s sad, which is why I have no patience with heterosexual men nowadays, because they caused all this.
On a totally unrelated note, I think Dubem is a bi/gay man who maybe let lose in South Africa, contracted HIV and decided to “punish” other gay people for it. God, the cruelty.
Delle
November 26, 14:57Honestly, I can’t seem to empathize with the writer. I just can’t.
This line: “Eight years after perfecting my masculine gait and voice and demeanour, I was back to what I was – a femme.” hardened my heart, I guess.
Who says this?
And I do understand that people get obsessed with those who hurt them in the past doesn’t automatically mean I have to sympathise with you when things go awry afterwards.
Thanks for sharing with us anyway. And it’s sad you had to go through this. Dubem is going to die in a pathetic way.
Pink Panther
November 26, 16:20Why did those words harden your heart? What, you thought it was an attack on femmes? Some sort of deliberate femme-loathing thinking?
How do you not see the vulnerability expressed there, the insecurity, the struggle of a fellow gay man who had been so tarred by his effeminacy that he decided to do something about it in order to escape the stigma. And in the end, in the presence of the man who formed part of that stigma from the past, he broke down and his insecurities were the things on display.
How did you not see that?
You read that and it hardened your heart? Seriously? You took someone’s personal trial as a personal affront? Come on. You can do better. You should do better. That part of his story was not about femmephobia. That was about him and his own struggles and vulnerabilities. Instead of getting offended, how about you try and understand where his head was at and extend more empathy than your comment shows you have.
Delle
November 27, 17:52I see now that it was insensitive of me but you do not blame me for thinking it was yet another line bred from femmephobia and spawned of heteronormativity.
Oh well…
Pete
November 26, 21:41Shame on you, Delle.
Delle
November 27, 17:50Look at this leech. When will you finally get the memo and move on? Shame on me? Coming from you it’s like a puff of air on my scalp.
You do not matter. You’re not getting this and it’s seeming like yet another problem to add to your pile.
Dumb fuck.
Pete
November 27, 22:59You would have sounded believable if you’d stopped at ‘puff of air on my scalp’ but alas, you continued.
Pinky advised you to show empathy. Heed it.
Sucrescalada
November 26, 15:34Bareback with anyone from S.A is a death sentence. And yes am stereotyping dem gay men from S.A. 99% of them are POZ! Sorry song. Half the people here would make the same mistake even after reading this.. May our attraction never leave us fatally flawed.
Howdy
November 26, 16:22Thanks for sharing your story, Song… Shit has happened. You have move on. Stick to your drugs too..
I know you have encouraged yourself so much before bringing this up…
J
November 26, 17:24Wow he’s evil! Retarded bastard!!! I feel so so bad for you right now, don’t worry karma will handle him!
Malik
November 26, 18:20Just for public good, there’s PrEP, if you would be having a lot of unprotected sex, to reduce your chances of getting HIV. And there’s PEP, after the deed has been done, to prevent yourself from coming down with the infection after an unprotected sexual encounter with someone who may be positive.
Abeg don’t let shame or guilt stop you from reaching out. Ask a friend for directions to where you can get free medical attention for things like that (or enter PP’s DM… Lol).
And of course there are ARVs which if started early enough can reduce the viral load to the barest minimum. Just reach out soon as you suspect you may be at risk. Please stay safe and stay healthy.
Past mistakes aside, thank you for sharing this, Song. It was really brave of you.
adichie
November 26, 19:29I can’t read the comments. Here I was thinking it was a happy ending. Ah this is hurting me too
Kenny
November 27, 08:53I just couldn’t get this post out of my mind…. I’m scared for the people Dubem will meet, scared for the people who will see a Yankee returnee and fall into his bed. This man will go about infecting unsuspecting individuals ? ?
Eddie
November 27, 18:26All in favour of busting a cap in Dubem’s evil ass, say aye!!!
Simba
November 27, 21:20This should have part 3…
Human nature is complicated, I wouldn’t be surprised if u still fuck him again and again. Actually it follows a specific pattern if ur to fuck with him again. Also is he still ur landlord, have u set the house ablaze? Lastly, how did u pick urself up and achieve a viral suppression ( which will make it a success story).
flame flame
November 27, 23:52You can live a healthy life as a HIV positive individual. Please make the effort to attend clinics, take your drugs, do your labs RELIGIOUSLY! Like every habit, you’d get used to it in time. You have to!
Sending you my best wishes!
PS ‘attraction’, ‘love’, are very very malleable! No kill yourself untop any human being matter. You’d def always find someone else! (Someone better).
Dunder
November 28, 08:42It would be a real pity if Dubem’s houses were to be engulfed in fire after you move out of the one you presently occupy… Wishing you the best as you continually make lemonade of these past experiences. He is not enough of an excuse for you to dim your own dreams.
Queen Blue Fox
November 28, 12:44Oh my goodness! I feel like crying Right now!how wicked can one person be?
Sworld
November 29, 18:00A very Sad one
Lesson to everyone of Us ” That ass or dick we are so thirsty/craving for might be a KILLER!.
How I wished you had a second thought after you had a good sex with Nonso.
But It’s not the end of the world dear!
Stay safe!
Leon
November 29, 21:32Really touching,this story brought me nothing but tears and grief…take heart….
DeliciousDelilah
December 02, 08:24What a sad story, sorry that you experienced this and Thank you for sharing ur inspiring story and journey. Move on with life and take good care of yourself, you will not be able to achieve anything in life if you don’t do so…. As for Dubem? Let’s leave cos he is not a happy meal. ??
Chizzy
December 05, 17:24Omg some people can be evil, omg omg. Be strong
Brainie
February 09, 15:39When someone once shows you who they truly are, better believe them. Because people never change!
This story is so deeeeep. This is most deepest meaningful story I have read so far since on Kitodaries. People don’t ever change! Truth!