What’s On Your Mind… III

What’s On Your Mind… III

It’s just one thing today.

A question, really – Who exactly is an African Man?

One major weapon which homophobes deploy in their gay bashing is “homosexuality is unAfrican”. If I could get a barrel of crude oil for all the times I’ve heard this weird logic, I would be competing with the kingdoms of Qatar and Bahrain on the Rich List. It’s even more tragic that a good number of gays have internalized this homophobic notion. We have probably all met gays who insist that “your gay side is only a phase to be explored in your youth and to be abandoned later in life when you (should) revert to your default straight mode.” *giggles*

A regular commenter on this blog once laid down a list of things which are expected of an Africa man. This same KDian (known for his impressive research prowess) is also always quick to whip out the many ways in which an ‘African Man’ differs from other races, mostly the Westerners.

And this befuddles me somewhat. There’s a certain Igbo proverb which goes thus: “He who asks for directions can never lose his way”, and so, in order not to lose my way in the quest to be a true ‘African Man’, I have come before you, my people, to ask these few questions. Who truly is an African man?

Is it the one who woke up this morning to the sound of an alarm clock blaring forth from his mobile phone? The same mobile phone with which he is likely reading this post? I thought true Africans awoke to the crowing of a cock at dawn. Is it the man who arose from a foam mattress, forsaking the cherished woven raffia mats or bamboo beds held together with raffia rope – which would have been more easily recognizable to his ancestors?

Is it the man who fell on his knees in prayer with a bible written in English? I hope I’m not mistaken in thinking a true African would have poured out libations to his ancestors and perhaps headed over to the shrine which occupied a prominent spot in his compound to perform a few sacrifices to his ancestral gods. The chanting and praying as well as the book which speaks of the story of a faraway people in a faraway land have created some confusion in my quest for true Africanness. This is one of the reasons I come before you for clarification.

Is the true African the one who is at 7.30am in the morning, dressed smartly in a pair of trousers, a shirt and a tie – after a bath, probably under a shower which produced water at the twist of a knob – and is now navigating the early morning rush hour traffic to get to work or school? I thought I was told that our true African ancestors would have headed to the bush behind their huts to answer the call of nature, then to the nearby stream to wash their body in its flowing waters before setting off on foot for the long trek to their farms deep in the lush green surrounding forests. I have a strong feeling that were this African man’s ancestors to see him now seated at a desk and peering into and tapping away at a computer, they would stare in amazement and consternation. They would undoubtedly ask their lazy descendant in dismay, “How do you hope to feed yourself by staring all day at a screen? Would you not be better off knee deep in the dirt, toiling to grow crops which you can store up and feed upon?”


Is the true African the one who had a glass of milk or juice or tea or coffee, along with bread and other pastries for breakfast? What happened to the round, sturdy mounds of fufu and thick spicy soups with which his ancestors filled their bellies every morning in order to maintain their energy levels while working hard on the farm; day in and day out? This African man sha…

The last time I was at the ‘traditional’ wedding of a ‘true African’ man, I observed a few things which puzzled me: the bride and groom wore native attires but then, those attires were nothing like what our African ancestors would have worn during their own weddings some hundred years ago. In fact, the outfits worn at this wedding were sewn from George material, Lace, Ankara, Dutch Wax and the like, all imported from faraway lands and brought here aboard ships for use by true ‘African’ people on this day of their ‘traditional’ wedding. At this wedding, a cake was cut, and a variety of bottled drinks fizzing and sputtering with the gas from the bottling factory was also in plentiful supply. Don’t get me started on the music! It blared out on huge loudspeakers strategically positioned all over the arena. In fact, the sounds of merrymaking and revelry could be heard all the way into the next village. I honestly expected to hear the sounds of native drums as well as women singing, seeing as I was invited to a ‘traditional wedding’; I never in my wildest dreams expected that I would hear the gorgeous Flavour’s Ada-Ada, or the Mavins’ Dorobucci at a true African Traditional Wedding. I’ve been scratching my head in deep confusion ever since I attended this wedding. I’ve been going crazy in my bemusement.

I need to be made to understand who a true African is. And if he exists, kindly let me know where I can find him. I wish to go and stare at him in all his African glory. I really, honestly do – I swear down! Or could it be the case that he no longer exists, seeing as human evolution is an ongoing and continuous process which has always and will probably always go on for as long as mankind shall inhabit the earth?

Well, what do I know? I await education on this issue.

Written by Khaleesi

Previous Dear KD: I’m Caught Between My Fear And My Desire
Next Photo Of The Day XVII

About author

You might also like

Series (Non-Fiction) 27 Comments


Previously on THE COLLEGE CHRONICLES: My friend and lover, Duncan, had just died after a protracted battle with a cardiovascular disease. And it was a tragedy that hit me hard

Series (Non-Fiction) 48 Comments

The Bottom Chronicles (Entry 2)

WHAT A BOTTOM SHOULD KNOW This particular post has been talked about here before – on more than one occasion in fact. However, I do not believe that there’s such

Series (Non-Fiction) 38 Comments

What’s On Your Mind… VI

A few months ago, a certain KDian was published with a story about his friend who is a good dancer and who intended to partake at a campus competition. This


    • pinkpanthertb
      April 10, 05:38 Reply

      And you think no intelligent point you make can educate him?

      • chestnut
        April 10, 07:57 Reply

        PP,I understand MacArdry’s POV(I think): he’s trying to point out that a summary of the post is: “Africans have no right to judge homosexuality as a “western evil”, because they happily use western clothes and western gadgets and western food etc…”. And yes, homophobes should NOT have a right to judge anyone’s sexuality,but not because they’ve adopted some ‘acceptable’ parts of the western culture, but because sexual-orientation is not a choice and we humans are all equal,regardless of whom we are naturally wired to be attracted to.
        And let’s be honest pls, we know very well that no “intelligent point” on earth will ever make us say: “oh, now I understand the point of African homophobes; they are totally right; I am a ‘Western anomaly’!” We will never accept it (nor should we,anyway). So it’s not question of asking Macardry to give evidence that the homophobes might be have a point (I don’t think that’s his agenda,though); but even if he were able to provide such “evidence” ,it’s an arguement that would NEVER EVER end.

        @khaleesi: u shouldn’t bother ur head about a homophobe’s reasons for hating,because they will look for any excuse,no matter how asinine and illogical it sounds. Heck, even in the Western world, homophobes will give the excuse of: “it just ain’t ‘natural'”(same way Africans give the excuse of “it just ain’t ‘African'”). Would u now start questioning them about the “un-naturalness” of the manufactured toothbrush they use every morning? Or the man-made coffee mugs on their breakfast table? Or the synthetic wigs their wives wear to work? To me,it’s really not an arguement anyone should bother getting into,because like I said earlier, they WILL look for ANY excuse to justify their hate,even in the face of intelligent arguements,they will still insist on grabbing at straws.

      • McGray
        April 10, 12:22 Reply

        Oh Khaleesi, u deserve a million hug. U r indeed a grandson of Chinua Achebe. Those description of a ‘True African Man’ made me wish Chinua Achebe was still alive. This piece reminded me of my origin. Khaleesi pls fill the vaccum that Achebe left. U r a great writer. I salute u!

    • Peak
      April 10, 09:33 Reply

      Well chestnut seem to ve said it all

      I totally understand khalessi’s line of argument until Gad was brought into the mix. I think a lot of “us” ve misunderstood his use of “africaness” in relation to LGBT issues. Like silver cat did below. Gad feels that a great deal of us fashion our lives, experience., and way of life to fit into foreign cultures. I’m sure if I ask dennis and khali as fashion conscious gay men to name brands and products, they would go at it without skipping a bit, and all these brands would either be american or European. His arguments, if paired with silver cats views about “africaness”(which I totally agree with) can be reflected in his views that an african man is expected to be emotional strong, never display weakness. Be able to defend himself and not cower to bullying (see max’s piece about bullies), Ve a sense of family and resposibility, and sacrifice 4 family, respect 4 urself, others and most especially the elderly, he has always preached about “us” ( this generation) and our eagerness to forego our tradition and way of life (I’m not a fan of his views on emotional bondage but I ve never been quick to dismiss them either ) he has always spoken from a general perspective and not a gay perspective. So I think we have him misunderstood if we are linking his “africaness” views with homophobia. Either way I’m waiting on his spin on the discussion

      • pinkpanthertb
        April 10, 09:44 Reply

        These characteristics you expressed that Gad believes African men should have, I have to ask, do the Western men not have them as well? Do they happen to be exclusive to African men?

    • Peak
      April 10, 10:10 Reply

      It can, but u cant compare the level of complexity of the African race with anyother race. The two races that come close are the lations, and the different races that makeup the Asian continent (middle easters, indians, the Chinese and co). Our drive, passion, our closeness to nature, our partially unsoiled way of life life still holds a great deal of facination to the outside world. Like I said Gad would ve to come though on this. I’m just attempting to explain how I take/understAnd his message

    • Khaleesi
      April 10, 17:48 Reply

      If I’ve made up my mind and you are such a gifted mind reader, why didn’t you go ahead and tell KDers what it is you saw in my mind while you read it? ****rolls eyes from Okpanam to Okinawa****

  1. Dennis Macaulay
    April 10, 05:32 Reply

    There is no such thing as an “African Man”! Africa is not a homogenous entity, the Igbo man differs greatly from the Itsekiri man and the fulani man bears no cultural resemblance to the swahili man. Culture has a strong influence on Africa as a continent but this culture is so varied across the continent that we cannot lump the continent together.

    There are places on this same continent with matriachal systems, and many more places with patriachial systems. In parts of yoruba land a woman can be a regent till a new oba is appointed, something that is unheard of in igboland. In Benin kingdom women cannot take titles, but Ijebus give women Otunba title. I can go on and on!

    Africa is a land of so many ethnic groups each with its unique identity that differs from the others. So there is no such thing as an “African Man”

    • Khaleesi
      April 10, 17:45 Reply

      @Dennis, muaahhhhh!!! I hope this lays to rest the weird logic of African man this, African man that … it’s a crappy figment of imagination!!!

  2. Pete
    April 10, 05:32 Reply

    Saying one is an African man except you are referring to geography is a misnomer.
    1.) Africa has never been a homogeneous entity, so you can’t expect them to have same traits.
    2.) we are in the era of globalization & mixing & distillation of cultures. Humans change, adopt & adept to cultures alien to him. He even modifies his culture to suit him.
    3.) there is this trait in humans to think that the grass is always greener in the other side & that foreign is always better.
    4.) the society is a powerful entity which frowns at outliers. What is required is education.

    OAN, have you guys ever wondered why homosexuality is termed a western influence that’s bad while Christianity ,a western influence is seen as good?

    • Dennis Macaulay
      April 10, 05:40 Reply

      My dear its funny, because the religion is a western import and whatelse that is also funny is that homophobia is also driven by this christianity

    • pinkpanthertb
      April 10, 05:40 Reply

      I love that ending remark. Funny how Nigerian Christians can defend Christianity die, and yet turn up their noses at Homosexuality as a Western thing. That double standard is quite irritating.

        • pinkpanthertb
          April 10, 05:53 Reply

          My point is: they support something clearly documented as brought to us by the West. And sneer at something that by all accounts a human characteristic.

    • Khaleesi
      April 10, 17:44 Reply

      Thanx Pete, you totally understood my point! !

  3. Max
    April 10, 05:36 Reply

    Nicelt written Khalee… Nicely written

  4. MacArdry
    April 10, 05:43 Reply

    Erm….some corrections,Dennis.Omu of Okpanam,HRM Obi Martha Dunkwu is a woman.Also,Obi of Ogwashi ukwu,Prof Okonjo is king today by right of his mother.Both towns are part of Igboland and there are many more.That culture is not peculiar to Yorubaland.
    Btw,female regency only obtains in Akure.No other major Yoruba culture that I know of.

    • pinkpanthertb
      April 10, 05:46 Reply

      But you got his point about how the African man is not a homogeneous entity, yes?

      • MacArdry
        April 10, 05:55 Reply

        No continent on planet earth has people practicing same culture,PP but there are some markers in various cultures identifying them as being from a particular place or originating therefrom.A common thread,if you will.

    • Dennis Macaulay
      April 10, 05:53 Reply

      Omu of opkanam is not a king! She is a woman leader! In anioma culture a woman is selected to lead the women and organaise women activities as well as cordinate the markets. Omus are not kings or queens, they are women leaders and I know this because my grandmum is from Asaba.

      Female regency doesnt only apply in akure it ia practiced ALL over yoruba land. When Oba Oyekan died, Erelu of Lagos Abiola Dosunmu was supposed to be the regent, she tried to take control of the palace but Asiwaju prevented her because he favored Akiolu and did not want another ruling house in the palace.

      You were fast the give “corrections” that you missed my point. I was trying to point out that these things are not permissible in certain cultures whereas they abound in others. So no homogenity

  5. MacArdry
    April 10, 05:49 Reply

    He’s not seeking for any education,PP.Just ranting.
    I get if his rant is about the homophobic shi,as there is nothing Unafrican about homosexuality,there was/is the yan dauda/daudu culture up North and the older/younger man mentorship/relationship in parts of the east,but he broadened it into other areas with definitive conclusions.He asked for no education,just want to hear his own voice.

    • pinkpanthertb
      April 10, 05:55 Reply

      If you have an intelligent point to pass across to convince him otherwise, do that and give him the credit of learning from you.
      If you don’t, don’t blame it on him sounding out his reservations. Simply admit you don’t have anything to say to him.

      • MacArdry
        April 10, 06:27 Reply

        “If you have an intelligent point to pass
        Isn’t it too early in the day to start throwing shades,PP?.Sheathe your claws,I’m not here to cross swords with anyone this morn.
        ‘Sides,I would rather have Khaleesi clarify what he’s about than have you forming some Knight Templar

        • pinkpanthertb
          April 10, 06:32 Reply

          I was not clawing at you. I was trying to point out your…(what’s the word?) bias, if you may. When someone brings up an issue, of course, he’s going to sound off on all he knows about it. but does that make him unattainable for the sharing of other knowledge?
          So, unless you have something to educate him with (and I mean this with no ounce of disrespect), you really should give him credit for wanting to learn from others.

      • Mandy
        April 10, 06:33 Reply

        In other words, MacAndry, don’t be so uppity and dismissive. 😀

      • Pete
        April 10, 06:50 Reply

        I understand MacArdry’s view. The write-up sounded like the writer was trying to show Gad what he thinks of his views & it came out in bad taste. I’m all for constructive criticism with minimal shade.

      • Mandy
        April 10, 06:52 Reply

        Someone who doesn’t particularly care for you too, McAndy

      • MacArdry
        April 10, 07:03 Reply

        Okay,you’ve been noticed.Run along now,go play with your mates.

        • pinkpanthertb
          April 10, 07:13 Reply

          Quite progressive for someone who didn’t want to battle with anyone today.

      • Mandy
        April 10, 07:15 Reply

        @MacAndy, My mates have all gone to pre-school and the playground is looking empty. So, if you don’t mind, I’d rather stay put here. Notice me some more, will ya?

    • Max
      April 10, 09:14 Reply

      This Macardry dude is turning into a wound, a small scratch from a thorn that damaged the skin, and is beginning to fester deep within like a carcass while oozing with repugnant smell. Ya’ll should watch out.

      • Chuck
        April 10, 09:39 Reply

        All this for disagreeing with Khaleesi? This Max self is a problem. Your comments are 0-100. No sense of proportion.

      • Teflondon
        April 10, 10:11 Reply

        It’s getting ridiculous.. Init? While watches her throw her pangs around.

      • Max
        April 10, 10:40 Reply

        @Chuk, do I know you? Cos I can’t remember mentioning you ever on KD or ask for your opinion.
        @Tef, get your diction right before commenting please. You’d be doing the world a favour.

      • Chuck
        April 10, 11:34 Reply

        You don’t know me, Max. This is a public forum. As you comment on others’ contributions, you open yourself to the possibility of being commented on. It’s a conversation of sorts.

      • MacArdry
        April 10, 17:00 Reply

        I’m quite sure you stood before a mirror as you typed that stite,Max.You are one to be pitied

      • Khaleesi
        April 10, 17:41 Reply

        ***rips off Max’s fang-guards and pushes Max firmly @ Tef, Sinnex and Chuck*** ***grabs big bag of popcorn – evil grin *** hehehehehehheee …

      • Max
        April 10, 20:53 Reply

        @Macardry, you can wait for “losers” train on “fools” street along with TEF. When it arrives, jump in and never look back.

  6. Mitch
    April 10, 05:54 Reply

    Dennis and Pete have said it all. Africa isn’t homogenous. Too many cultural variations and expectations/roles makes the concept of ‘African-ness’ too far-fetched to be real

    • Khaleesi
      April 10, 17:39 Reply

      My point exactly! The concept of africanness is too far fetched and intangible to be real, you’d be much better off focusing on our common humanity than on our Africanness or ‘Europeanness or Asianness’

  7. Ringlana
    April 10, 06:09 Reply

    . Africa isn’t
    homogenous. Too many cultural like the saying that goes “Ife ndi. NaEli ka. Ndi na Aso”

  8. MacArdry
    April 10, 06:19 Reply

    I wasn’t arguing your point about lack of homogeneity,Dennis.Just clearing up some things.
    You are right,Martha Dunkwu is not the current king of Okpanam (my bad),but she did function as regent before Mbanefo was appointed.You do know Okpanam abolished their ruling house,right?.
    Anyway,my point is this.While cultures may vary as many as there are ethnicities,there are some certain markers that identify them as being from or originating from a certain geographical location.Maybe that’s what some would refer to as being “African” or whatever.

    • Dennis Macaulay
      April 10, 06:47 Reply

      I have relatives from Okpanam so I am very up to date with the situation. Now you talk about certain markers of culture? Well these are markers of humanity basically and if we go by them to classify then we might as well be lumped together with the caucasians cos I can reel out several similarities.

      Evem within tribes, an anambra man and an ebonyi man are so very different in culture. I was at a traditional wedding in Ohoazara (ebonyi state) and honestly it almost did not look like an igbo event. It was nothing like I am used to, and dont get me started on the fact that they are igbo and apeak igbo but I cannot make out a word of what they are saying.

      • MacArdry
        April 10, 07:10 Reply

        Hahahahaha,quite understand how you must have felt Dennis.There are more than 37 known dialects of the Igbo language,some not mutually intelligible.

      • Khaleesi
        April 10, 07:27 Reply

        I’ve always wondered : how can we describe them all as the same language when they are mutually unintelligible? **scratches head***

      • MacArdry
        April 10, 07:39 Reply

        Come on the culture section of nairaland and learn a bit about it.There are quite a number of threads dedicated to that alone

      • MacArdry
        April 10, 07:43 Reply

        Btw,not all are mutually unitelligible.Just those that are quite some ways from each other.Mostly those that are on the bounds of Igboland and have interacted actively with other cultures much more than with their kin

    • Peak
      April 10, 07:57 Reply

      @Macardry the omu of okpanam was never a regent and there was never a ruling house in okpanam. Okpanam was being ruled on the bases of the oldest man in the kingdom, who held the title of Obi. This system was changed after the passing of the last obi because they were 2 old to agitate for any meaningful development. The Omu is the women leader. Okpanam’s new king goes by the title of Ugoani. I know this because a close friend of my dad is an okpanam man,who is not exactly a fan of the current ruler and there was a heated discussion about the succession of the late Obi of the town. Okpanam has no ruling family and has never had one (……….well that was what I was told)

    • Peak
      April 10, 08:26 Reply

      @dennis lol! Call me greedy or something, but I will need you to upgrade that origin to a big stout, or Heineken. ……………..or Hero.

    • Peak
      April 10, 08:53 Reply

      @Macardry a quick phone call revealed that there is a place called ogbe-obi……………but its just a quarter in one of the villages in okpanam. I also learned that there ve been kings from amachi (hope I spelt it right) which is one of the major communities. The late obi of okpanam( obi okeze) who was the diokpa @ the time was from ogbodogba (forgive me uf I’m spelling it wrong). Then there is talk of umu-obodo and idumiga ppl ( dont know how all that fits in, u sound like u know the place, so you would be able to understNd the names more than I do) and I got a confirmation that there was never a ruling house. It was based on being a diokpa in the town to ascend the throne.

      • Dennis Macaulay
        April 10, 09:05 Reply

        Historically only diopkas acsend the throne because they are assumed to be the wisest!

        Peak you made it easier for me, I have relatives there but you even know more than i do.

        About that Big stout, i kept it for colossus oo seeing as he likes BIG things. So i dont know how we go do am now

      • MacArdry
        April 10, 17:22 Reply

        @Peak,Ogbe-obi is a village in Ogbeozoma quarter that produced their kings back in the day.At some point,Umuezegbe in Amachai quarter usurped that,the conflict arising therefrom part of what led to the abolition of ruling house.Ogbe-obi still continue to hold the deity associated with ruling house/rulership there.
        @Dennis,historically the Diokpa functions as the Spiritual head of the community not the political one.At some point,the roles were merged but that didn’t last for long.
        Today,the qualifications for kingship is that you must be a freeborn or adopted son of the community;an Alo title holder;married with proof you are not aspiring for kingship while your father is alive.
        I wish there’s another platform we can use,go indepth on this.Intellectual discourse on KD tend to degenerate to………die an unnatural death or get so swamped by much white noise.I did enjoy the conversation from you two tho,Peak n Dennis.I pray there be more of that some other time

      • Peak
        April 10, 19:57 Reply

        Hmmmm @Macardry Mr okpanam!!!!! Abeg I give up, u clearly sound like u know ur okpanam. Very insightful convo bro! Nice one

    • Peak
      April 10, 10:18 Reply

      Emmm……..nna! I will just settle for a hero then. Colossus has had that stout waiting for thing 4 a mighty long time, who am I to dare to disrupt that setting? Lol ***u need prayers dennis**

  9. kryblog
    April 10, 06:26 Reply

    You can’t define an African man. It’s a person like an European citizen.

  10. Silver Cat
    April 10, 06:50 Reply

    So refreshing to see a write-up with no gay agenda.
    Here Khalie, a big hug and a wet slobbery kiss for U.
    Now as for Dennis, Ur comment just hit all my intellectual centres.
    *dreaming of a teaparty with Khalie and Dennis*
    These guys are my kind of intellectuals.
    Now getting real, Khalie dear, we all are African simply because we have the (mis)fortune of being born here. The hitherto typical african man alluded to in Ur write up has evolved with the times.
    We no longer sleep on rafia mats or wake up to cock crow, we have embraced technology and that doesn’t make us any less African. What I think truly makes us African and what the rest of the world refers to as African are quite many but can be summarized as Material and Immaterial.
    Material Characteristics include: Colourful Culture that favours a lot of bright reds and greens and yellows, Loud Music with quick tempo set to dance, 50shades of black-to-brown skin colour and thick mane of kinky, woollen, afro hair.
    Immaterial Characteristics refer to our Spirit. The resilient african spirit that cannot be subdued, a spirit that is a study in perseverance and kinship, a spirit that recognizes and esteems family; the bigger the better, adapting to the changing times cautiously, picking the good with little resistance and regarding the uncertain with scepticism ad infinitum.
    Those are the things that I think make us African. Our ancestors will be shocked if they see Africa today but they will not feel unwelcome because in as much as a lot has changed, the part that truly matters hasn’t.

    • chestnut
      April 10, 07:24 Reply

      @silvercat: were u being sarcastic with that first line?

  11. Sinnex
    April 10, 06:57 Reply

    Such flawed reasoning. So because we don’t go to the bush to urinate or go to the stream to wash up, that means we are not Africans? The world is a global village and changes are expected in the way things are done. Everything you mentioned that Africans do, the Europeans also did them. I really don’t see the reason for this post.

    • Khaleesi
      April 10, 07:25 Reply

      Hun, i knew you wouldn’t disappoint – you captured my point exactly! A lot of the things some of us claim to be ‘African’, were also done by other races at different points in time. We are basically all humans – the notion that certain traits are African or not is mainly a figment of our idealisation which are largely a product of our immediate society’s (cherry-picked) ideals … thanx gurl,you dont see a need for this post and yet you helped tremendously in illustrating and clarifying its central theme ***giggles and stares @ u in disdain*** … Ok, run along now …

      • Teflondon
        April 10, 07:54 Reply

        Khaleesi such theatrics Lol you use them in dosages?
        Nways nice reply.. Touché

        • pinkpanthertb
          April 10, 08:07 Reply

          Oh hey, you’re back, Tef. Your sweetie had us worried you’d offed yourself. 🙂

      • Teflondon
        April 10, 10:16 Reply

        PP the “Ladies” would have to come stronger than that.. To even make me think of something like that..
        I couldn’t help but notice the pleasure derived from the tot of it being true.

      • Max
        April 10, 10:49 Reply

        Don’t flatter yourself honey @Tef.. You’re not half of what you think yourself to be.

      • Teflondon
        April 10, 11:38 Reply

        Max it seems my arrival on KD turns you on or gives you some kind of twisted sick pleasure..

        You must be really jobless to really have the time to police and monitor whilst replying every comment on KD..
        I notice the way you throw your poisonous vitriol comments here and there on Kdains.. So far, I’ll say I’ve being matured enough not to stoop low to your belittling level..
        I refuse to be dragged to your sick world of hatred and bitterness.
        All you have shown so far recently is how classless and lowlife you really are.. You don’t need to believe my story (my status) it adds nor removes anything to my bank account.

        Kindly tell PP to tutor you on how to throw shades at people without having to speak directly to the person.
        Trust me,
        Dance around fire, while chingling your tambourine.. After this my comment.
        This is the last I’ll say of this.

      • Teflondon
        April 10, 13:24 Reply

        Whenever anything is posted here on KD.. You always want the comments section to be all about you.. And most times you do get your wish.. Today you have won again.. As you have managed to make this about you.. AGAIN.

        Max your hunger for attention.. Is quite alarming.. Visit a psychiatrist, Doctor.. Herbalist.. Anyone or anything.. Just Seek urgent help Pls.


      • Max
        April 10, 13:50 Reply

        You failed to take your own advice from your previous comment >> lemme refresh your memory:
        “This is the last I’ll say of this”
        So haul your lying hoe ass outta here.

      • Sinnex
        April 10, 15:08 Reply

        Na wa oooo…is this Max normal at all? He sounds like someone that is disturbed. I wonder why the “goons” won’t call him to order. It seems like he lurks around the corner waiting for @Teflondon-and maybe myself-to comment then he pounces on him-us.
        This is not a competition. This is just a blog. We visit here to learn and for entertainment. I wonder why someone would take anything personal.

        Why do I have this nagging feeling that maybe, just maybe he is one of the boys Teflondon “picked up from the street, gave money to, upgraded him and then discarded him after he was found to be of no use”.

        I seriously think he has issues.

        What is more surprising is that his so-called friends are sitting down around the corner, looking at everything that is happening and doing nothing about it. In fact, they are even adding fuel to fire.

      • Khaleesi
        April 10, 17:35 Reply

        @Max ***chokes half to death trying to suppress huge wave of ucontrollable giggles*** ***fails*** hahahahahahahahahah ***rolls over and falls on TefLondon***

  12. Façade
    April 10, 07:30 Reply

    Just as ma favorite dancer/choreographer Yanis Marshall always reply to comments like “why do U as a man dance in heels? It’s not normal”…”define normal”

    • Peak
      April 10, 08:14 Reply

      Hmmmm ……………”define normal”

  13. Ace
    April 10, 07:45 Reply

    K baby! Please when you get the answers to these questions, please kindly send me too. I cannot still decipher that statement “it is not an African thing, it is a western influence” . I still can’t wrap my head around it. African men have been fucking each other. If anything, western religion destroyed the whole thing.

  14. Teflondon
    April 10, 07:56 Reply

    I’ll rather leave this to Gad to reply.. As I can see it’s directed at him.. I’m sure Gad won’t disappoint with an appropriate response.

    • Khaleesi
      April 10, 17:33 Reply

      Lol, havent u noticed his usual hypocritic silence whenever anything is posted which tend to poke at his half – assed theories … he uses the ignore tactic, nevertheless, am glad @ all the furore this has caused and hopefully, I’ve picked enough holes in the weird logic of ‘African man this … African man that’ … niccur needs to lay that line of crap to rest!

  15. wazzosgrotto
    April 10, 08:14 Reply

    HRM Khalessi speaks, bringing words of wisdom this early morning. Those who try to limit the definition and norms of what it means to be African are usually lazy thinkers with zero knowledge of just how diverse different African societies were prior to colonization and their acceptance of different sexual identities. Many traditional story tellers (Girots) have this knowledge but are afraid of the backlash from overzealous Christians and Muslims. No matter. In 200 years such definitions will become obsolete. Change is good.

  16. Absalom
    April 10, 14:44 Reply

    Hmmm, Khaleesi. Nne, this your post derailed oh.

    You started out (it seems) wanting to argue how Africa is not a monolith but ended up talking about Africans eating pastry instead of fufu and punching mobile phones. You seem to have only addressed people who selectively endorse Western influences. So while they would say homosexuality is unAfrican and a Western import, they have no issues embracing Christianity.

    I expected to see you give examples of how different cultures on the continent have diverse practices and attitudes to gender, sex/sexuality, politics, marriage/family, food, philosophy of life, etc.

    I expected to see you to challenge people who say (for example) that an “African woman” is always decently dressed and well covered – whereas in my village, only three generations ago, women walked around with open breasts. I don’t know if women in Lesotho’s cultures at that time would have done the same, considering that the weather there is much colder than what we have in Nigeria, and they have snow.

    You seem to have leaned towards technological and cultural evolution, instead of cultural diversity.

    Anyway. Like some have said, the cultures on the continent are so many and diverse you can’t know them all – or summarise them.

  17. KingBey
    April 10, 16:57 Reply

    Whatever happened to the sections that produces some hardcore sex stories on this blog? All these long long grammar here is becoming boring aswear ! *yawns loudly while awaiting a hardcore sex story or a Real Kito Story*

    • Polly
      April 10, 18:15 Reply

      There’s nothing wrong with long grammar and enlightenment. Sex stories will come also will Real kito stories.

      • pinkpanthertb
        April 10, 20:40 Reply

        Are u minding him? Tell him to go experience kito and bring the story to us. Lol. Nonsense and ingredients.

  18. Polly
    April 10, 18:09 Reply

    Personally, I think an African man is a Provider, a survival, a strong man. I think an African man will work all year just to show off during the Christmas holidays. An African man criticises whatever is not known to him, everyman will criticise also but that of an African goes with a lot of sentiments and root comparisons. We all have our opinion on what or who we see and can refer to as an African man but then we should also differentiate an African man from a cave man.

    • Max
      April 10, 21:11 Reply

      You just described all humans in general.. Not an African man.

  19. Gad
    April 11, 04:58 Reply

    This is the results you get from people who don’t read articles to learn but to argue. The writer,s questions are not an attempt at seeking knowledge but borne out of hunger for arguments and probably to insult. I salute the display of a high level of maturity of those who has commented so far. Its noteworthy that this is one of the few articles with less deviation from objectivity to insults. Even Max with all his entitlements to vitroils couldn’t make a sustained show of his stock in trade. I will refrain from stating my thoughts on the concept of the African man since Peak,Pete and a good number of responsible commenters has aptly captured my views. Secondly,its clear from the article and the writer,s comments that he has already attained the zenith as far as this topic is concerned. How will an all-knowing seek knowledge if not that he is being mischievous?

  20. Carl
    May 15, 19:35 Reply

    I know this is extremely late, but this was, in my opinion, expertly written. I share the view of all the points you have made here. People want to condemn the west for their ‘sinful’ ways, and their ungodly creations bit will be the first to drink the latest drink, eat caviar, use and iPhone etc. The fact that we even have to accord certain title and attributes annoys me. Why can’t it be “the man who is African and does things in ways that have long since been regarded as tradition”? Mehn, we needa usher in the new age.

Leave a Reply