Zed and I met two years ago, when we were both vacationing somewhere in the Middle Belt. We went on a few dates but never got to have sex because I was around for a shorter period than him. We however kept in touch and when I hit him up this year, he mentioned that he was in Lagos. When I told him I was also here, he invited me to his place.

I got there and he was so happy to see me, as I was to see him; I was also happy because I was finally going to have sex, after my experience at Lekki with Bruno.

So, Zed and I soon started to make out, and after the clothes were off and we were in bed and ready to get to it, his dick began to pull a Jide on me. He kept going soft and hard. He’d stay hard long enough to go several strokes inside me, and then he’d go soft again, prompting me to give him a handjob until he got hard again to try one more time. It was all so frustrating and unexciting.

Eventually, he got tired of trying to fuck me and went to make rice for us.

While we ate, he called his girlfriend and introduced me to her, despite my protests. He told her he was hanging out with his friend and that the next voice she will hear is his friend’s. And just like that, he was handing the phone over to me and I was saying hello to her. She was chatty and nice, asking me when I’d be in Abuja – where she apparently stays – so she and I could hang out.


I laughed and said I would travel to Abuja in December. But I had no plans of hanging out with her and I hate that Zed told her my full name.

We finished eating and resumed having sex – and shockingly, it was almost like all he needed to maintain an erection was rice. I could not believe how the sex changed and got better after eating. So maybe for him, his problem was a low glucose level and not erectile dysfunction.



Fun fact about me is that when I am extremely stressed out, I become very horny and seek sex to de-stress, which is why when my friend jokingly suggested that I hook up with his friend, Sola, I agreed.

I got Sola’s number from him and sent a message. In my introductory message, I expressed what my interest in him was, subtly yes, but not so subtle that he didn’t get that I just wanted to fuck. That introduction led to a very exciting conversation over a number of days. He would randomly send me pictures and videos him in various places and activities, and would encourage me to reciprocate. Initially, I was overwhelmed and not fully on board with the way he interacted with me, because I thought he was letting me in too deeply into his life and I wasn’t going for that. However, it was also exciting because at the time, I was open to dating and his seeming interest in me was appealing.

We finally planned to meet, and it was going to be a Netflix-and-Fuck at his apartment. He felt it was important to tell me this was going to be a date, and I didn’t disagree even though I didn’t think it was. He mentioned this three times, in different occasions, talking about how he was so looking forward to seeing me. It got so intense, that as some point, I began to buy the roses he was selling.

Meeting him and being in his space was alright. He was funny and replayed my jokes, which made me happy. I made fun of myself for making a flyer of our ‘date’, calling it corny, and he responded with, “Well, it is generally corny, but it isn’t corny to me because it’s coming from someone I like.”

OK then.

I had started to like him and I appreciated the fact that he’d indirectly told me he liked me too.

I went to the bathroom to shower and while I was brushing my teeth, I found a card of Viagra on his shelf. That had me instantly feeling worried as I wondered if it was going to be White Rice all over again. I was also afraid he might get a heart attack from fucking me, because there’s magic in this pumpum.

Sex with him was great – FANTASTIC! As we fucked, it felt like I was being spoon-fed sugar. I’d had better sexual experiences, but nothing like this. I could taste the pleasure in the back of my tongue and it was SWEET! Jeezuz! Sola was a LOVER!

I left his apartment the next day, hoping we would continue to keep in touch and possibly start dating, if it took us there.

But less than 24 hours after we met, he became a totally different person. He became cold and distant. It was jarring and I struggled to understand the behaviour. He no longer had the enthusiasm from days ago. I no longer woke up to messages from him or pictures or anything. I was deeply hurt by that, and so I opened up to a friend who knows him, and he went on to spill the tea on Sola. He told me that word on the street was that it was a deliberate effort of Sola to take Viagra before sex, because it’d make the sex so intense, it’d leave the guy he has fucked wanting more. He also told me that it was Sola’s habit to lead people on, stirring these kinds of emotions in them and then leaving them high and dry after they’ve fucked. He introduced me to some other guy who’d gone the desperate lengths of opening up his heart to Sola in a long pleading message for them to see again – only to be met by a cool brush-off on how he was not emotionally available.

THIS from a guy who makes you think he’s basically your next boyfriend in the making, when you two are getting to know each other.

I felt sick to my stomach as I took in these stories and contemplated the level of narcissism it takes for Sola to abuse a drug and risk harming himself in the long run, because of a disgusting need to feel important in a person’s life, and the calculatedness of targeting a guy’s heart just so he can get a high from leaving them high and dry.

I have struggled with trusting people since Sola – and the others. I have struggled with seeing people and wondering if their intentions for me are pure. I have gaslit myself into thinking I am the problem. I have also been unable to be drawn to sex. I have struggled with now becoming a cold, emotionless, walled-up person.

I hate these changes and I am doing the work of throwing these things away and not losing my light. I am however grateful for now being equipped with being more cautious than ever before.


Written by Big Bad Judy

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  1. Dillish
    September 10, 10:06 Reply

    If this “Sola” stays in ikeja, then it’s obviously the same guy I met.
    Same MO.

    Introduced my buddies who wanted sex and I made sure I gave them heads-up. Despite my advice, two of them fell for it. They were bitter about it for months

    • Pink Panther
      September 10, 14:23 Reply

      Lol. That’s him. Interesting that he’s acquired this reputation.

  2. Bliss
    September 10, 21:05 Reply

    Lol. People like Sola are the reason i won’t open or let myself feel loved. Haven’t been in love or so but won’t want to ever taste what this feels like cause i hardly let things slide. I am an overthinker

  3. Lopez
    September 12, 13:14 Reply

    We all had a Sola in our lives. Irony Is I doubt if he’ll be sorry or have regret even if he read this. Karma is a bitch, he will get a Sola in his life too.

  4. Onyx Phoenixx
    September 12, 14:54 Reply

    Hey guys
    This is a really interesting piece and I’m inspired to share my own personal experiences and stories on this platform
    How do I go about it?
    @pink panther sir, your response would be very much appreciated….

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