THE DIARY OF A NIGERIAN FUCKBOY (Entry 2)
Dear Diary,
I was running out of my mind.
Isaiah had stopped picking my calls and replying my messages. We hooked up about three times after our first meeting. Had fun, explored each other, and he even made a fleeting statement about wanting to be my boyfriend (which I responded to with a fleeting smile), and shared each other’s stories of our exodus to the States.
And now, he wasn’t replying my texts and calls, and even flirted with other guys in the gym in full view.
I have never been one to go ask what is happening, but that all too familiar event of being the “game” that had been conquered didn’t sit well with me. I left that shit in Nigeria. No, I wasn’t in love with him; the thought of being in love or in a relationship makes me nauseous. I just wanted to hear him say it, tell me it was no longer going to happen between us. The cold-shoulder treatment and the look in his eyes that had so much to say but didn’t infuriated me greatly.
By now, it is established that I have an intense case of paranoia, and because of that, I made up my mind to have one fuck buddy at least for a long time. When things started to roll between me and Isaiah, I deleted my Grindr app, something he equally did. And I was quite happy to have someone on call. Everything was in place and moving smoothly. This sudden change of attitude disturbed me greatly. Did I do something wrong? Was it becoming boring? Was my refusal to bottom for him – stating that “a big ass doesn’t necessarily make you a Bottom” – the problem? Had he gotten bored? We had intense ways of pleasuring each other; I’d been sure that would suffice. Little things like this bothered me greatly, so much that one day, I summoned the presence of mind to walk over to him in the gym to ask when we were going to meet again and why he wasn’t replying my texts. Of course, I had to say it in a way that wouldn’t make me look desperate. My attitude was subtle, you know, along the lines of “Why the fuck are you not replying my messages?” I said this with a smile to soften the punch, even though I was furious.
His response was work and overtime with commitments he had in his church. Apparently, his church folks assisted him during his early days in the States and he owed them so much (at this point, this unsolicited information was a clear indication of what I feared). I smiled when he was done with his excuses, and wished him the best. He casually added that we could meet sometime on his day off but I knew he didn’t mean it. He is Nigerian. I am Nigerian. And we know how these things go.
I went into primal rage mode and downloaded Grindr again, not looking for anyone or anything. I simply wanted to make a statement to myself that I had the power to move on to the next. I’d forgotten my login credentials, and so, I had to open a new account, something I didn’t get to do till late at night after work. I logged in, all set, and who do I see two miles away but Mister Hands-too-tied-to reply-texts. He was online and I was this close to losing my damn mind.
WTF!
In that moment, I decided not to let this fly. I went online, took on a random picture, took on the name ‘Travis’ and engaged him.
‘Hello,’ I (Travis) wrote.
‘Hello,’ Isaiah wrote back.
‘I love your strong arms.’ Travis was referring to the headless pic with biceps on his profile.
‘Thank you,’ he replied. ‘Got pics?’ he added.
‘Yeah.’ I went online to source for pictures; not too hot to be unbelievable, but hot enough to hold his interest.
Predictably, he was interested and we planned to meet the next day. I was mad, excited and nervous all at once.
‘What are you into?’ Travis asked.
‘I am vers,’ he replied.
This nigga had told me he was a ‘strict top’. Now he is vers? This shit wasn’t adding up and I was getting madder.
Travis replied, saying he is a power bottom who would like to ride his black cock, and Isaiah responded with a love-struck emoji.
The next day came, and for shits and giggles, I – not Travis – approached him at the gym and asked if he wanted to meet.
“I’ve got a dentist appointment,” was his answer.
Very well then!
I waited till he was out of the gym and Travis came back online. Isaiah was online too, and as if on cue, he sent a message Travis, saying he was now available. Travis requested for his address and phone number, which he provided promptly. Travis promised to be there in fifteen minutes.
Fifteen minutes turned to thirty, then became an hour, and then two. His texts became unending. ‘Where are you?’ he texted. I didn’t respond.
His tone soon changed. ‘You faggots are all the same!’ To this, Travis simply replied, ‘Ok.’
This must have made him so furious, I imagined he was about to crash his phone, because his next message was, ‘You were fucking reading my messages all this time, made me miss an appointment and stopped replying my messages?’
Travis replied, ‘I was told to do overtime at work. I apologize for not informing you because I am not permitted to work with my phone on.’ He started to apologize, but Travis cut him off with, ‘Have a nice day. This faggot is no longer interested.’
I kept looking at the endless messages of apology with a mix of anger pour in; I looked on very satisfied.
Three days later, I got a text as I was about to leave from work. It read: Wanna meet today?
I was mad. I was furious. I was hard.
‘I’ll be there in an hour,’ I texted back as I started the car.
Written by Duke
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66 Comments
DI-NAVY
May 31, 06:21Some guys, you only exist when you’re being used! You really paid him back in his own coin for being travis! Just look @ his rage for saying all fags are same. That’s a kettle calling a pot black. Smh!!! For you to even chat him on grindr basically means you’re hung.lol. For the fact he lied abt his role is unforgiveable. Lol. Nice piece! How come u even kept me in suspene like this duke! Ehn nwa nke a??????
Kenny
May 31, 06:36But Duke you have time o. You could have simply read the handwriting on the wall and moved on. You probably felt something for him cos I don’t understand all the rage you were feeling because of a casual somebody.
Santa Diaba
May 31, 06:44It’s a pride/self worth issue. He didn’t catch feelings. Nobody likes to be played and he just exacted a deliciously petty payback! ???
Pink Panther
May 31, 06:46LOL @ deliciously petty payback. Very delicious indeed.
Kenny
May 31, 07:33Walking away without creating a fuss also shows you know your worth. Not everything has to end with drama and petty comebacks.
Terra
May 31, 09:26Sometimes these people need to be taught a lesson. He screwed with Isaiah, made him miss an appointment (allegedly) with little cost to himself.
pagxy
May 31, 06:47Chai!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mandy
May 31, 07:03If you were less paranoid enough to allow for meeting other people, as long as you didn’t catch feelings for Isaiah, he wouldn’t assume this much importance to you. The presence of other choices, knowing you can get it elsewhere, helps soften the impact of rejection.
KingBey
May 31, 07:07The old lie all Nigerians say. I’m strict Top. Then along the line, they get down for one reason or the other. Like I always said “One man’s Top is another man’s Bottom”
When a Nigerian guy sees someone he doesn’t really dig, he turns Strict Top….but story changes when he sees his Night in shining armor. Legs go up and Hymns and songs of Solomon will start flowing. Abegi. Lol ……Top ko Active ni. ???
Kenny
May 31, 07:18This cracked me up ???
Pink Panther
May 31, 07:24So Tops only fuck guys they don’t really like, but Bottoms only submit in bed because it’s a knight in shining armor?
Does this logic not sound ridiculous to you?
KingBey
May 31, 07:30I’m not doing this with you again today. I know you never believed there’s any Top who can take a dick comfortably depending on the situation/condition. Sexual roles is a fluid and it keeps flowing/changing. Anyone saying or believing it’s static, darris your consine.
Pink Panther
May 31, 07:41My dear, this is an excuse for you to rationalize your versatility to yourself. You are top but you want to explain away your bottom yearnings. So you’ve convinced yourself every Top must be a Bottom too.
Well, keep telling yourself that.
The fact remains that in spite of people lying about their roles upandan, there are tops and there bottoms. Simple.
KingBey
May 31, 07:47Stop giving me names biko. In short, I’m no longer into anal sex….just gimme a massage, a good kiss and we cuddle to sleep. So much trouble. Whew !
Chizzie
May 31, 07:32Speak for your self and your reflection Aunty
Ringlana
May 31, 07:09You are mad b/cus he lied abut his role? Oga you are powerful bottom but you don’t want to give… Since you paid back by being Travis my advice to you is get plentiful of them should in case this goes south..then move to the next paddy.??
KingBey
May 31, 07:23Are we not all powerful bottoms? With conditions ooooo. *signs out before PP catches me*
KingBey
May 31, 07:21Then you have this other annoying set of Versatiles who can’t fuck. He says he’s Verse but you give him punani during Ibongi session to chop, his dick won’t go up again. Thereby falling the hopes of the other Verse guy. This is why real Verse guys are now seen as Bottoms thereby making everyone to be “Active Tops”…..*sigh* It’s all complicated just because we keep lying to ourselves. Top, Verse, Verse Top, Active Top, Strong Top, Tough Top, Bottom, Power Bottom, Versatile Bottom….what does this one even mean sef? *sighs again* Biko, lemme join DM and become a sexual butterfly. Ike gwuru
Pink Panther
May 31, 07:26Heheheee. Someone has had a very healthy sexual history. Would u like to tell us more of your top/bottom experiences?
KingBey
May 31, 07:31Goan and rest ooooooo. Story whore. Share wetin? Wetin I wan talk for here wey una never hear?
ambivalentone
May 31, 09:19At this rate, I will be on the look-out for star-shaped arseholes to confirm someone’s role. Such skepticism.
Though I really don’t know why ppl can’t just be truthful about their roles. Haba! If one pussy closes to ur dick, another will open up for you one day na. Just stressing ppl upandan
INDIGENE.
May 31, 07:34. but story changes when he
sees his Night in shining armor .
Legs go up and Hymns and songs
of Solomon will start flowing. Abegi.
Lol …… Top ko Active ni.
That ghot me! Chai!… lwkm
INDIGENE.
May 31, 07:35Give us gist jhoor…
Chizzie
May 31, 07:44Duke dear, I honestly do not understand why you would go to obodo oyibo and be fraternizing with Nigerian men. Tufia! Thats the last thing I will do when I go to the abroad. The vast majority Nigerian men clearly have their issues, it’s in their blood. They’ll leave you paranoid, feeling rejected and have you contemplating abt the most petty and diabolic of things, which is very much what your alter ego Travis has become.
Pls look for a nice non-Nigerian, preferably a Caucasian. And flee from these Nigerian nuisances.
KingBey
May 31, 07:52And you think Caucasians are the perfect gay men? Honey you will be shocked. Some of us love dark chocolates no matter our location. We seek for it…..and yes, Nigerian men have a very unique and tasteful sweetness that comes with all their wahala and trouble. Who goes to Obodo Oyibo and be fucking white man? Ewww. Ndiaa na ato mmiri mmiri. Anyways, you won’t get it. You’re still in Nigeria. So I will save my saliva.
DI-NAVY
May 31, 08:4250 shades of shades!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lmaodi *Nigerian men have a very unique and tasteful sweetness that comes with all their wahala and trouble.*
Shuga chocolata
May 31, 08:45@kingbey, who told you the white tastes like water??????
Well to me they don’t. Everyone with his/her preference.
@duke like you, please don’t move on be vindictive enough nonsense and ingredients.
Pink Panther
May 31, 08:00Lol. Chizzie, you’re such a racist. 🙂
Griffin
May 31, 08:10As in ehn!!!!!
Delle
May 31, 11:14On the contrary Chizzie, from his first story (second entry), he said he didn’t know the guy was going to be a Nigerian. He definitely wasn’t seeking for a Nigerian affiliate, it just happened.
You make it seem like Nigerian guys are horrible. Lol. Such patriotism.
#ilovemynaijaguys
Duke
May 31, 12:57Honey, this series is still expanding. I have had my share of Caucasian men
Chizzie
May 31, 13:45Yes good. That’s the way. *hugs and holds you tight *
Too clean
May 31, 07:53My friend,my friend…i never knew he went that far with you ooo..
Anyway,I trust you handled it very well
Griffin
May 31, 08:09I cannot laugh Biko, una will not kill me this afternoon abeg. Just glad that all this role drama no dey this country where I dey oooo, this guys will either bottom for you because they like you or outta sheer curiosity, which sometimes honestly makes me feel like a piece of meat, or experimental dildo. And if you guys thought Nigerians are slutty, then you haven’t met Indian men.
KingBey
May 31, 08:27You fuck with Indian people? Lawd ! *pukes all over Kito Diaries* ???
Shuga chocolata
May 31, 08:48Calm down kingbey, he hasn’t affirmed that he had slept with Indians.
Delle
May 31, 10:51And what’s so nauseating if he does sleep with Indians? For all I know, their men are sexier than most out there.
Besides, he said, ” Just glad that all this role drama no dey this country where I dey oooo…”
Now, isn’t there a teeny-weeny possibility that he lives there? What is he to do then?
*smirks*
posh6666
May 31, 19:12Indians bawo?super eww *pukes more*
DI-NAVY
May 31, 08:45Everyone is slutty. Some are dominant while some leave their sluttiness to be recsessive but some people’s degree of sluttiness is alarming like one turkish man who came hitting on me in a garden, an open space, in NIGERIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*cringes*
Wayfaring Stranger
June 03, 13:25Because despite all your muscles, you’re still girly.
Peak
May 31, 08:48I think we need to kill these misconceptions about role dramas being peculiar with Nigerian men only. In recent months, I have been acquainting myself with a number of gay reality web series and Vlogs. To my surprise, the same challenges we face here is equally being faced there, but to a smaller scale.
DI-NAVY
May 31, 09:01It’s everywhere honey. Everybody want to feel superior. some even add “Strictly and Active’ clause to the word “Top”
Peak
May 31, 09:28True! But the real question is, how come its never a problem when a brother adds an adjective to his bottom(ing) preference/capabilities(e.g strict, dominant, power bottom e.t.c), but a lot of dust is raised when a Top does the same?
Keredim
May 31, 11:33Now that is a million dollar question. Could be insecurity or lack of exposure.
Maybe those who “raise dust” are a bit insecure with their own prefered (bottom) position. They feel its a “female” role and you know how society subjugate females. So they feel the need to lash out and make a political statement and the slightest mention of “Top”, forgetting its only sex.
If people were more exposed, they would realise its just a fucking role. (No pun intended). Its a role you are comfortable with and should have no hang ups about it…Own it!!!
BTW @Peak, stellar job on Sunday. I honestly couldn’t have done it better. You dealt with the situation with grace and class, and at such personal sacrifice, which hand on heart, I wouldn’t have been able to do. ????????
When i start taking growth hormones and start reversing the ageing process, I wanna be just like you???
Khaleesi
May 31, 10:32Nice piece Duke, I like how you totally riled the jerk up! now be classy and drop his pathetic ass like a used tampon … kick him outta your life and move on, there are other men out there …
Delle
May 31, 10:42Okay, no tee, no shade but I have some things to say:
Firstly, “No, I wasn’t in love with him; the thought of being in love or in a relationship makes me nauseous. I just wanted to hear him say it, tell me it was no longer going to happen between us.”
This statement confused me to hell and back. I don’t get what it is you want him to clarify since you already said being in love makes u nauseous. The one-man fuck buddy thingy?
The Grindr deleting part was actually extreme and something one would do when he’s out of a once progressive relationship. But, oh well.
Knowing he’s ‘strictly top’ (at least that’s what he told you), you shouldn’t be surprised things turned out the way they did seeing as you’re top also.
He’s obviously a lying humongous pile of rat droppings telling you he’s top and then claiming to be versatile someplace else. You going to see him even after all of these, well Konji they say is a bitch.
Nice entry all the same, Duke.
Jon Snow
May 31, 10:54this cracked me up ??????
chuck
May 31, 12:21You can’t make a liar acknowledge that he lied. Look at Peak on Sunday. He kept insisting he hadn’t defended Cheaters even though that was what his reply to Delle was about.
He’s yet to even reply after calling me all sorts of names. Thank God the evidence was there to see
Peak
May 31, 12:46Chuck. To be perfectly honest with you, it is still mind boggling that a simple question like “how many of the marriages you know, have this (100%) “honesty and sincerity” you speak of?”, translates to advocacy for “cheaters”. A simple and direct response to the idea that Delle was trying to put forward that marriage is built on honesty and sincerity hence the “100%” reference.
I beg of you, I am in no shape or form to draw out issues with you today. It’s one thing not 2 understand a statement and ask for explanations, it’s another thing altogether to twist it into an ugly tale to fit what ever agenda you have in mind. That my friend, I won’t allow.
chuck
May 31, 14:18You are an advocate for cheaters when your answer to a comment about being faithful to one’s wife is to ask about 100% honesty. You’re making an excuse for those who are not faithful.
I have not twisted your words. They are clear and they speak for themselves.
When you notice you’re wrong, you start to say you don’t want to draw out issues. You were willing to come for me on Sunday when you thought I didn’t have receipts. Next time know that some of us here will not be distracted by petty insults. We will hold you accountable for your statements, and we will use rational argumentation
Chuck
May 31, 15:15You’re an advocate for cheaters**
Peak
May 31, 15:55You know what Chuck, I was going to let this go, but since you are good at twisting, falsifying and fabrication, I will run through the comment one more time. The only difference between the last time and this time, would be to establish who the true liar and fabricator is.
Peak
May 11, 2016
@ Delle, how many of the marriages you know, have this (100%) “honesty and sincerity” you speak of?
Reply
Delle
May 11, 2016
No human is 100% honest or sincere lest alone marriages, but the minute you take advantage of that fact, there’s a problem. You shouldn’t go into marriage with the mindset that there’s no total honesty or sincerity, nature takes care of its business. Let it.
Reply
Peak
May 11, 2016
The 100% part may have sounded like me reaching, until you gave me a footing with “You shouldn’t go into marriage with the mindset that there’s no total honesty or sincerity, nature takes care of its business. Let it.”
So I ask, is there such a thing as TOTAL honesty and sincerity in marriage? If you there is none, then I digress.
****************************
Since you are struggling to comprehend the discuss between Delle and I, please pay attention to his reply. It was based on us as “human” and our inability to be 100% at anything and neither can a marriage. He went on to warn on the dangers of taking advantage of our inability to meet up with the 100% benchmark in our dealings, cos nature is bound to step in and run its course.
If the above explanation proves too much for you to handle, well allow me to refresh ur memory with a civil exchange between yourself (or someone posing as you) and I.
Peak
May 11, 2016
@ Chuck, Please I want to be cleared on this and be certain I am getting you right.
Are you saying you would be cool with a gay man marrying a woman, so long as he doesn’t step out on his wife? Because that is what I am getting form this “If lying and cheating are what’s best for you please say so.”
2ndly, how come we overlook cheating when it is being perpetuated by straight folks but cry wolf when a gay man or woman is involved. Mind you, I am not endorsing any form of cheating, I just want clarifications.
Reply
Max 10
May 11, 2016
I’m not part of the “we” that look away when straight folks are cheating.
Reply
chuck
May 11, 2016
1) yes, I trust those who decide, for relious reasons eyc, that being gay is wrong, give it up and go marry women more thanI trust/ respect those who marry women as cover for fucking students upandan
2) I have never condoned straight cheating and I don’t condone MGM sex outside of marriage.
Reply
***********************
The above shows a thread where I addressed you like I always do, in an attempt to dialogue and understand ur stand on issues and reasons behind it (which I have been regretting since Sunday) where I explicitly stated “Mind you, I am not endorsing any form of cheating, ” . Same post as the one you provided a like to on Sunday. Shockingly, you missed that part or suffered a loss of memory around the part where you answered my question.
Answer me this question Chuck, are you that desperate to forward ur agenda of doom and false realities that you would go as far as attempt to taint the name and image of people who don’t agree with you? Not only did you resort to pervertion and distortion of what I said,, you labelled me a liar. At this point, I am forced to draw up 2 conclusions. You either suffer from memory loss or selective memory (cos that’s the only way 2 explain u not remembering me asking you a question, with me saying I dont endorse cheating to which to supplied answers to) or you are nothing short of a pathological liar, a master of prevarication, a fabricator of the 1st order, a shameless false accuser, a peddler of deceit, a director of chaos and promoter of doom/gloom.
Away with you and your treacherous ways!
The nerve to call on God in hope that you acheived something great only to go on a smear campaign about his entity tomorrow. Since when did you start acknowledging God?. You have succeeded in making a fool of urself on KD. Clap 4 urself you hear?
posh6666
May 31, 19:15Lool peak milk I like your name o
keredim
May 31, 15:13@Chuck, I read the “transcript” again and all Peak was asking Delle (in context of the thread) was “How many people go into marriages declaring their past sexual encounters”
He was by no stretch of the vivid imagination condoning unfaithfulness in marriage.
Could it be possible that your inherent dislike for MGMs is clouding your rather astute sense of reasoning?
And should an MGM be required to declare his past liaisons before getting married to a woman any more than a straight man is?
Pink Panther
May 31, 15:31‘Could it be…’? You’re asking ‘could it be’ when it’s evident that on the subject, Chuck sees nothing else but black and white.
Chuck
May 31, 16:10Delle said:
Somethings are better left unsaid?! What happened to honesty and sincerity in marriage? And you honestly, honestly think you’re going to be faithful to her all through marriage cos I don’t see how marriage kills that gay part of you. Smh
He’s connecting honesty and faithfulness. Then Peak comes in to say 100% honesty is impossible. My conclusion is that Peak argues there that we should not condemn dishonesty or it’s corollary, cheating, since 100% honesty and sincerity cannot be achieved. In the second thread he brought up, even with the ” I don’t condone cheating disclaimer”, he is concerned with not condemning gay cheaters because straight cheaters go scot free.
Peak:
” how come we overlook cheating when it is being perpetuated by straight folks but cry wolf when a gay man or woman is involved.”
That is a defence of cheaters. The ” I don’t condone cheating” addendum is this argument’s version of “I’m not gay, I just fuck my bros/ friends”
Peak
May 31, 16:26Wow! Look at you, flexing ur smart muscles.
I wonder what spin you have for a comment I made earlier, which had the same scenario but on a different subject …”how come its never a problem when a brother adds an adjective to his bottom(ing) preference/capabilities(e.g strict, dominant, power bottom e.t.c), but a lot of dust is raised when a Top does the same?”…
I helplessly await ur answer o’wise one.
keredim
May 31, 16:38I don’t think its right not to take into account what was said by Khaleesi and “You-Know-Who” (and we do KNOW who) into account BEFORE Delle’s comment.
From reading the comments before Delle’s own I find him linking Honesty and Faithfulness, IN THIS CONTEXT, irrelevant.
Delle is asking for a Total disclosure (of past sexual encounters) before going into Marriage. C’est ne pas possible.
“…Then Peak comes in to say 100% honesty is impossible….”
Let me ask you this? Say you fell in love with a guy and you knew within your heart of hearts that you will be faithful to him and vice- versa. Would you sit down with him and list every single person you have slept with before embarking on the relationship?
You say
“Peak:
” how come we overlook cheating when it is being perpetuated by straight folks but cry wolf when a gay man or woman is involved”…….
That is a defence of cheaters.”
No it is not a defence of cheaters. It is highlighting double standards
Chuck
May 31, 18:04Well, since Peak was responding to Delle, who mentioned cheating, I don’t think Delle’s comment on cheating is irrelevant.
I’m not litigating disclosure of partners. Thjis discussion grew out of Peak attacking me for condemning cheating, and my response that he was defending/ making excuses for cheating. I think tolerating dishonesty is a defence of cheating since the two are linked.
Why bring up double standards in the treatment of straight cheaters when we are a gay blog discussing gay cheaters? In any case cheating is wrong whether gay, straight, bi, lesbian or transgender
Peak
May 31, 18:31“Why bring up double standards in the treatment of straight cheaters when we are a gay blog discussing gay cheaters?”
Well forgive me, I didn’t get the memo that says LGBT people are inferior breeds, hence the need to have a separate standard for measuring interactions among them. So what you are saying is that cos it a gay blog, we have no business bring heteronormatives into the discuss? Pray tell waht is all the noise for equality? If equality is eventually achieved, what “standard” would we be accountable to?
It’s not a case of a blog. We all don’t exist in a blog. We exist within a space called society. We share the same territory, sovereignty and bound by the same law. How come when discussing issues that have general coverage and effect, we conveniently slice the straight population out of it all in the name of being “a gay blog”. What you are doing is giving a half baked report of existing situation. The major problem you have is that you have a habit of using (ur) particularized view in analysing issues that are general in nature.
Don’t let me stop you though, keep grasping at straws, keep jumping from one irrelevant subject to another in hopes to find something to latch on to.
Keredim
May 31, 18:44@Chuck, I beg what Peak said x 2
I am tired.
????
chuck
May 31, 19:57Sure. You’re tired too. Yet you jumped on this to defend your friend.
I don’t condone cheating in any situation. We were here discussing whether cheating was wrong and you brought up double standards with straight men, to derail the discussion on married gay men.
keredim
May 31, 20:33Ok, thank you.
Don’t forget to switch off the lights
Good Night.
??????
Brian Collins
May 31, 19:07I see no body saw the “I was hard” part of the ending of this story.
Uncle Kere, see how small complement turned to another thing on this post.
Keredim
May 31, 19:14????
What compliment?
Xavier
May 31, 20:49Kai. All these long essays. Lol