KIZITO SPEAKS V

KIZITO SPEAKS V

Ever gotten to a point where the phrase “You are cute” has no effect whatsoever on you, where if feels like just any other phrase. In my case, it annoys me. I am good looking, I know. But hearing that compliment one too many times makes me sick. Gives me the feeling that the admirer just wants time in ‘my heaven’.

*

“Follow your heart but take your brain with you.” I stumbled on this quote from an Ex one time. And I thought, he couldn’t be more right. I mean, I should have known better.

My previous relationships drained me. I was so in it to please my partners, I thought less of myself. And it didn’t even pay. Heck, now, I come first in everything. “Me” should be number one priority. Family comes first before Bae sef. (If you get where I’m coming from)

*

Badoo is like the only hookup site I’m into. And it’s not so bad. I’ve met good people, ugly people, egocentric people, ignorant people, knuckle heads, bone heads, idiots, and far better/worse people through this app.

One I met not too long after my breakup with Kel. Call him Lamar. Total Baby-face. I clicked the Yes button as soon as his profile popped up on Encounters. He’d already liked mine. We got chatting, exchanged BBM pins. Got acquainted, sent VNs, kisses, hug smileys. It was smooth. Potential Boyfriend. I didn’t tell any of my close pals about this. (Bad move) I just wanted to be sure it was going to work, before spreading the good news.

So, Lamar and I got cozy on social media level. We were finally going to meet face-to-face at his friend’s place. He gave me directions. Me wey never sabi Lagos well followed the route he’d described, only later realizing there was a shorter route straight from my house. I brushed the annoyance and disappointment that came with that knowledge aside. I’d arrived at the spot where we were to meet. Bus-stop tinz. Lamar wasn’t even close.

“Where are you?” I asked when my call went through.

“We are close. Don’t worry, we’ll soon be there. Sorry,” he answered.

I stood there for about three hours under our ever blazing sun. Three hours. Chai! Trust the heavenly body na, I blackened within an hour. Sweating like Mary Lambert jogging from Seattle to New York. I can sweat for Africa though, in spite of my skinniness. I could have gone home. Heck, there was a short route. I should have.

But I exercised patience (one virtue I think I should be dispossessed off). He was gonna reimburse me anyway. So I waited.

After enduring the curious eyes staring at me and the beat of the sun and spices for three hours and thirty minutes, he finally showed up. His friend was already at the apartment. My phone went flat immediately our eyes locked (nawa for devil!). I knew I looked like shit after all that clinging to the virtue I possessed. I tried not to think about that. I was angry. I gave him one of my nasty looks. He crossed over to where I stood; my sweat oozing frustration and anger.

He looked remorseful. Baby face.

“I am so sorry,” he said, and then he put an arm over my shoulders.

I didn’t shove it off. I was still stone-faced. As we walked into the street, his attention was fixed on my face.

“You’re cute,” he said.

“What?” He was lying, I thought. Looking as I looked? He had to be lying. However, I still wanted to believe him.

“You’re very cute,” he said again.

“Stop lying. Stop whyning me,” I snapped.

“No, I’m serious.”

“Okay.”

We got to the apartment. It was small and not entirely tidy. Nicely furnished. His friend stepped out to welcome me. Their combination. The pair. Laptops, cigarettes, tattoos, drinks and stuff everywhere.

And my first thought was: Did I just walk into a Yahoo-yahoo set-up?

Written by Kizito

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    • trystham
      May 08, 05:23 Reply

      is this a ‘hmmmm’ packed with a thousand unspoken words or just a copy of Kizito’s ‘hmmmm’

      • Peak
        May 08, 06:04 Reply

        Lol! Hmmm as in hmmm 3 and1/2 hours 4 who? 4 what? Am I waiting for the 2nd coming ni

  1. Philip
    May 08, 05:06 Reply

    Is this the end ? Change your name to Patience. I can’t spend more than 5 minutes waiting for any hook up. NEVER!

    So many fishes in the ocean these days.

  2. simba
    May 08, 05:11 Reply

    My ever innocent kizito.. patience is a virtue i lack..

  3. Chris
    May 08, 05:42 Reply

    Did i hear you say you waited at the bus-stop for three hours or i read wrong?
    Like fvuk, who does that? , C’mon was he coming from Chicago?
    A clear sign of wrong step forward. Kizito am coming to whoop your ass and
    am not talking kinky here.

      • Chris
        May 08, 06:36 Reply

        See me see gobe o! i could ve used that three hours to trek from Kano to Kaduna in
        celeberation of the new President elect and the change coming.

    • A-non
      May 08, 06:06 Reply

      Apart from the three hours sef, who were the ‘they’ that were coming?

      But come o! Three hours!!! Under the sun??!! Except say na my papa or mama or Oga for office, I no fit!

  4. chestnut
    May 08, 06:18 Reply

    Kizito, tooooo short!!!! Why do u always have to do this to me? Get to the sweet part of the story and just vanish…why? Why? Why? *hot tears*

  5. Jamie
    May 08, 06:22 Reply

    LOL Kizito… You’re really really funny!! …what amount of endurance love can cause someone to culminate though…
    And oh! So I finally get to find someone else who is ”i” and yet sweats… I was a bit disturbed…
    About that word…the ”c” word… I don’t like the feeling that comes with it! Maybe because av never had a reason to get it!!!

  6. Gad
    May 08, 06:39 Reply

    We read kito stories here from time to time and it seems some of us don’t take note of the characteristics of a potential one. If I’m to come from a different neighborhood to yours for the 1st time,courtesy demands that you should be at the agreed meeting point waiting for me. If I arrive there and you are not there to receive me, I will do two things, first, I will believe you take people for granted and secondly I will leave immediately except in exceptional cases. That is a situation where you had called earlier to give a reasonable reason why you where not on hand to meet me on arrival. Kizito, this is a nice one. Let’s wait and see how it goes.

    • Chris
      May 08, 07:22 Reply

      Yes anyone that would stand somebody up for three hours without reasonable excuse,
      eg, flat tyre, flight delay, would probably have ominuous connection to it.
      Let me just carry on reading comments while listening to Jeremiah’s new tune
      rocking the waves.

  7. zinnat
    May 08, 06:45 Reply

    3hrs waiting at the bustop? The longest i’ve waited for some1 was 45mins and i started feeling uneasy when some commuters were already staring at me like i was waiting to accomplish some ‘kidnapping’ plans.

  8. Sinnex
    May 08, 06:47 Reply

    ‘Their combination. The pair. Laptops, cigarettes, tattoos, drinks and stuff everywhere.’ This just turned me on….my ideal kind of guy, unfortunately they are always scammers or set up guys. That was how I was chatting with one yahoo yahoo guy few days ago, and I thought he was into me and all, then yesterday he sent me a message and told me that he was in a cafe browsing and did not have money to subscribe for data on phone and that I should send him money so that he would have time to be chatting with me regularly. How can a yahoo yahoo guy not have data….mtchewwww….he then started calling me ‘dear’ and ‘honey’….na wa oooo….is it a bad thing to like rugged guys? Everyone wants to scam me. Is it a crime to be a virgin in this 21St century….

    • Sinnex
      May 08, 06:54 Reply

      Also, guys, if you meet someone online and the person says he want to visit you with someone, what does it mean? 2 guys have said the same thing in 2 weeks.

      • Absalom
        May 08, 07:02 Reply

        If you’re strong enough to overpower two men you don’t know if things get out of hand then go for it.

        But with all that coagulated, unreleased semen in you, I don’t know… I really don’t know.

      • Ruby
        May 08, 07:03 Reply

        Sinnex
        Its a possible kito situation.
        Never allow it
        When you are meeting someone for the 1st time, do that in the most public place possible.
        Wuse 2 is the Best place eg:
        Tutti Frutti, Amigos, Drumstix, Dreams Bar, AJs Pizza, Chicken Republic etc
        And keep the conversation formal, never delve into sexuality issues first.
        Simply play along whatever topics He brings up *hoping he will be able to hold a meaningful conversation that is*
        At the end, its entirely up to you to decide how much further your interaction should or will go

      • Sinnex
        May 08, 07:19 Reply

        Lol…why must everything be so difficult.

      • Chris
        May 08, 07:32 Reply

        Thanks Ruby for the candid advice you ve just offered Sinnex; and Sinnex , are you freaking kidding
        me? tell me you are whining us , upon all the kito stories we have been reading here?! Pls dont feign
        ignorance and naivety i take God beg you, am not riding hard on you, i just dont want to hear another
        story that touch the heart, am still dealing with that of Mr black british that i read on here yesterday.
        I know i will never look at planet Juliet with the same eye again, which reminds i ve been trying to
        warn one Jjc , but the stupid fool aint listening, well for him, na OYO

    • Ruby
      May 08, 06:55 Reply

      Awwwwww Darling!
      Its not a crime but I think you need a little guidance from someone whose walked the Virginity ropes and has finally popped the cherry.
      Who knows, maybe those tips could help you snag someone who shares the same Virgin quality like you.

    • Teflondon
      May 08, 07:34 Reply

      Sinnex you have me.. But you don’t know the value of what you have got. You know I have PHd in these kinda guys you talking. Just be careful will you.. Ill feel like I let you down, if you come to KD with another dupe or kito story. I’ll feel like I left you out in the jungle.. With wild animals. Trust me there are a lot out there.. Ready to devour guys like you. (Talking from experience)
      These rugged guys are lions? Yes! But I’m a lion trainer!

      **dables away**

      • Sinnex
        May 08, 07:39 Reply

        Hmmmm….I asked you for just one thing and you are yet to do it. If anything happens to me na you I go blame. Na me be the only boy whey my mama born oooo….don’t want my name to be in various newspaper just Like online friend Adindu Ohamara who was killed by his ‘friend’

        • pinkpanthertb
          May 08, 07:41 Reply

          A lovers spat in the making? *glancing from sinnex to teflondon*

      • Max
        May 08, 08:31 Reply

        You didn’t have to mention his name just to prove a point @Sinnex

  9. Ruby
    May 08, 06:51 Reply

    Its 2 things:
    1. You walked into a yahoo- yahoo set up or
    2. You walked into a potential Kito situation
    Personally I don’t really believe anyone when they pay me the “you’re cute or handsome” compliment basically because its become too cliche
    But Kizito you sef
    What kind of Patience is that one?
    1 hour and I’m out of that place
    Or was the Konji that strong
    “Eleyi gidi gan”

    • Chris
      May 08, 07:34 Reply

      hahaha, eleyi gidi gan……looool, walahii! hehehe

  10. KryxxX
    May 08, 07:16 Reply

    Hian!

    3hrs 3mins?

    Maka y?

    Time that I would use in preparing a delicious pot of egusi soup nd pound akpu by d side! Even if I was waiting for Boris Kodjoe or King David Macintosh?!
    U don’t say!

    Imagine me waiting in Berger that has no shade nd sweating like I just had a dip in a pool or a jog in hell!

    Hell no! Kito spray painted all over!

    As for d cute part………. ndi cute, over to una oh!
    1hr tops!

      • Chris
        May 08, 07:40 Reply

        Kdshians ve got me cracking this morning. for real though! maka y, lool,
        for real though, i mean unless the dude is one of the two you’ve just
        mentioned or Idris Elba , am out of there sharpaly, am gone.

      • Deola
        May 08, 08:26 Reply

        Why did i read that as Kardashians? Hmmm.

    • Brian Collins
      May 08, 08:45 Reply

      Kryxxx, you are not a fufu-pounding Akpan now, are you? #AskingForDennis’PeaceOfMind.

  11. Mitch
    May 08, 07:26 Reply

    Honestly Kizito, you need to stop hanging people like this. My heart is still beatimg as fast as if I just completed a marathon.

    BTW, waiting 3 hours for someone at a roadside? Hell no! Even if his D is made of gold and he’ll hand over all of Bill Gates’ wealth to me, I will not wait beyond 20 minutes. That is more than enough of my life wasted already. 3 hours, arrant nonsense!

    Good read. Quite short tho

    • zinnat
      May 08, 07:30 Reply

      For Bill Gates wealth? I can wait for 3days ooo!!! Lol

      • Mitch
        May 08, 08:13 Reply

        Uh uh! No way in heaven or hell am I gonna do that, Zinnat. I’m a very busy man…………boy………guy, whatever! I don’t have time to waste even for that kinda wealth!

        • pinkpanthertb
          May 08, 08:18 Reply

          You’re not sure if you’re a man, boy or guy, eh Mitch… Here, have a Mx. 🙂

      • zinnat
        May 08, 08:30 Reply

        @Mitch, Bill Gates kinda wealth is d type that will upgrade you from bin a busy man to a free man.

        @PP, lmao!! u r such a mess.

      • Brian Collins
        May 08, 08:48 Reply

        You and me both Zinnat, i will even add four days to that. As long as i am lodged in a nice Hotel with wonderful room service. Not under the hot sun at a bus stop.

    • KyrxxX
      May 08, 09:03 Reply

      *Places hand on Mitch’s forehead*

      Mitch nwa m? E jikwa ahu? Are you well? Bill Gate? Biko, someone bring ogwu iba for this child oh!

      Bill Gate? Bill nke bu Gate?!

      I will double Jesus’ 40days stay in the wilderness in The Sahara waiting 4 Bill! After which I would trek to Cape of No return to catch a boat to see him! The hunger is real!

      • Mitch
        May 08, 10:20 Reply

        KryxxX, ha abiala ozo? Have they come again? 80 days in the Sahara! Hian!

        Biko rapum aka. O masi gi, ya buru King of Jordan, achoghim ima. Keep me waiting beyond 20 minutes and I’m outta there.

  12. GOld
    May 08, 07:26 Reply

    3hrs???Jesu!!I will use half of that to hookup with about two or three other guys and get back home.

    Anyways so sorry. I can remember one time long ago that I waited from 9am to 2pm in Magodo.thankfully, the security officials were nice enough to allow me stay. The moment I saw him I gave him a piece of my mind and walked away.

    That was a long long time ago though.

  13. Max
    May 08, 08:24 Reply

    Lol @Yahoo set up. Nice one Kizito.
    The “you’re cute” phrase stopped moving me in 2010, when I realized over 90% of people I’ve met only wanted to have a taste of me. They didn’t really care about knowing me or connecting at a deeper level, the kind of connection I like.
    Its saddening. And people will be like- “you’re cute and single”, how come.
    They have no idea.
    When you’re cute, people only believe you’re a good for nothing brainless narcissist who only deserves to be used and dumped. The general rule of cute and dumb.
    Thats why I wasn’t surprised when everyone was surprised when Pinky posted a piece about a math teacher.

  14. Sinnex
    May 08, 08:52 Reply

    …that awkward moment when you wish there was ‘edit or ‘delete’ on this blog…Max!!!

    @PP If the comment where I mentioned the name of someone is uncalled for, I give you the permission to delete it.

    • Teflondon
      May 08, 09:12 Reply

      Sinnex are you minding Max? Someone that goes abt stalking people and releasing their details on KD that is suppose to be an anonymous blog.. Is condemning you?

      Hypocrisy much?!

      • zinnat
        May 08, 09:35 Reply

        Queen of Hypocrites, u r now blaming max for your carelessness? Last time i checked Max didn’t choose your moniker for u. And stop using the word ‘their’ unless u give an example of other people affected by Max’s alleged stalking. #EnufSaid

      • wytem
        May 08, 09:37 Reply

        Teflondon!!!
        please read max’ comment again

      • Mitch
        May 08, 10:24 Reply

        Zinnat, you just wasted the time you used to type this on irrelevancies. Tef is the smartest guy on this blog, haven’t you noticed that? Abeg, leave the wannabe in the fairy land where he is and focus on useful stuff.

  15. Brian Collins
    May 08, 08:54 Reply

    oh yes keredim, Dicks are such buffets in the cooking department. Providing milk for the thirsty hoes who just love to drink tea. *hello Deola*, cooking meals that fill bellies for nine months long, providing a healthy dose of daily protein for our brethen who love to eat sausages (except that they are not chicken franks).

  16. Mitch
    May 08, 10:33 Reply

    Brian, ya head is there. Keep me hanging in a hotel with all expenses covered and I wouldn’t mind waiting a month. A roadside under the hot sun is however, a completely different ball game.

    Pp, kontinu oooo. We will settle this one in our private corner. You know, very private……………

  17. Mitch
    May 08, 10:42 Reply

    LMAO @Pinky. I must marry a rich husband oh. But he must also treat me well, not keep me waiting under the hot sun for hours. O na-ayi ara? No be as im mama born am my mama born me?

  18. Khaleesi
    May 08, 12:06 Reply

    na wa oooo, i cant imagine waiting for 3hrs, abeggy, Max i’ll give u is 30mins and thats with lots of apologies over the phone – inukwa!!
    These days, the “you’re cute, you’re handsome” gist is starting to irritate me, mainly cos it doesnt add a dime to my bank account balance …

    • Teflondon
      May 08, 13:59 Reply

      Just as how all the shades I get on KD doesn’t remove a dime from my bank accounts.

      #JustSaying #TeamMoneyMaker #TeamMeAndMyMoney #TeamItsAllAboutTheMoney Lol!

  19. Chuck
    May 08, 18:00 Reply

    For those of you who have the “roughneck/ thug” fantasy, there are people on manjam/ the gay blogs who pimp these guys out to you. There’s one Sheikh who is into the business as well. You pay him, he fucks you.

    @Sinnex this might be your safest bet. They require payment, but at least you’ll get the fuck you want and they won’t rob or kill you.

  20. iamcoy
    May 08, 22:00 Reply

    I honestly don’t see the relevance of this particular journal. I mean people come here to get informed/educated, aroused, amused.. which does this fall into?

  21. michael
    May 16, 00:07 Reply

    i am hoping its not the literary meaning of 3hrs otherwise we definitely need to get you rid of that patience virtue.

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