DON’T CALL ME BIGGIE (Episode 5)

DON’T CALL ME BIGGIE (Episode 5)

Previously on DON’T CALL ME BIGGIE: Dayo got me to come over to our pastor’s house, where the shocking revelation was made to me that our pastor was not only gay, but he’d been lovers with our choir director, brother Ebenezer for eight years. It was all just too much to take in.

And while I was still reeling from that, Dayo walked up to me and said…

*

“Rex, I’m sorry for everything, sorry for projecting my confusion and fears onto you. Can we start over?”

I was shocked, confused and even happy all at once.

I sincerely wanted this, but I didn’t have energy to babysit any man. I wanted to be sure that he wouldn’t wake up one day and turn straight. So I told him I’d need some time to think it over.

The thinking-over lasted one week.

In that week, Ebenezer and I began to get acquainted. He was no longer just a choir director of our church. He was now a community member. He was the one who started calling me to check up on me, and from the frequent calls, we became friends. I had a lot of questions I needed answers to, and he obliged me. As our friendship developed, I began to feel confident in the knowledge that I finally had a fellow queer person to confide in.

Or so I thought.

Ebenezer would call in the morning, then text intermittently throughout the day, and call in the night before we retired to bed. Pretty soon, our parting words every night call became, “First to wake up go call.” I liked the attention, but I had to watch myself before this whole thing would turn into something else that’d become a danger to someone’s 8-year relationship.

So, on the Friday of that week, when Ebenezer called, I had to speak up.

“So, hey, I know you mean well and, believe me, I’m loving our new friendship. But feelings are starting to develop, and I’m uncomfortable with that. I just wanted to let you know, so we are clear on whatever boundaries we need to set up. I really don’t want us to slide into something that’ll make everything complicated between us.”

I thought I’d handled that well. I was wrong. Ebenezer flared up.

“What’s the meaning of all this na, Rex?” he snapped. “This is all unnecessary. I like you and I don’t care if feelings grow or not. I believe we can work something out if things get to that level.”

WHAT! Was this brother-man serious?!

“Work what out exactly?” I said. “I want us to be friends, but you seem not to get that. You seem to be comfortable with this becoming what it shouldn’t be. We need to have some boundaries, because we appear to be crossing a line that cannot lead to a good ending. Just in case you’ve forgotten, you have a boyfriend!”

“Ehen? And so?” he retorted. “It doesn’t mean anything –”

Hian! So that’s it then?! This guy wants to use me to learn how to be a cheater.

“Okay, I’m going to save you from yourself, Ebenezer. I don’t think we should communicate anymore. I am going to respectfully delete your contact and block you everywhere, and hopefully you will act civil toward me whenever we see in church.”

And that, my brethren, was the end of our bromance.

But tori never finish.

In all this week, Dayo had been waiting for me to finish thinking things over.

So, on Saturday night, he called. When I answered, the first thing he said was, “Rexmond, I want to see you.”

His tone brooked no argument. I said okay. Fifteen minutes later, he was at my door, pizza in hand and juice in a bag. This man really knew how to trip me, and fall I did.

That night, we took out time to discuss our respective journeys to self realization, service to God, reconciling homosexuality and the love of God, and self acceptance. Before then, I’d never bared my soul like this. I’d never said any of the things I said to Dayo out loud to anyone but to myself. I realised then that I had grown.

We proceeded to see a romantic movie on Netflix, after which we took a bath together. And then, we settled in bed to the most intense lovemaking I’d ever had. For someone who’d been struggling with his attraction to men, Dayo sure knew his way around the skin of a guy. He knew how to please me, where to touch me and how to touch me. His kissing, his caresses, his rimming… Chineke nna! I was on fire!

As we basked in the aftermath of sex, I looked into his eyes and said with feeling, “Dayo, I love you.”

And this bushman responded, “Before nko?”

LMAO!

Then he said, “Rex, will you be my boyfriend?”

And I responded, “Before nko?”

We both laughed. Then upon sobering up, he said, “I love you, Rex. And I appreciate you. Thank you for waiting.”

And we lived happily ever after –

Until Ebenezer decided to happen again!

Written by Rex

Previous Dear KD: I Really Need Your Help
Next DIARY OF A GAY NIGERIAN IN THE UK (Entry 2)

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  1. RichieMichie
    August 25, 14:39 Reply

    I have died waiting for this next episode. As always, a beautiful read.

    • Rex
      August 29, 00:39 Reply

      No vex oh. … My village people sent my entry to Pinky’s Spam box so he didn’t see it until recently

  2. Mikkiyfab
    August 25, 15:02 Reply

    The fact that I want this story to end with and Dayo bring so happy with one another, and also at the same time be in the all know of what is happening in the relationship Which mean I don’t want the story to end 😩.
    God abeg! Am I a standing fan!!!
    Wait don’t tell me broda Ebiiiii wants to move mad or is moving mad.

    Please don’t go for another 6months break abeg give the dits to us, that is what we are here for abeg….pinky please, I use my heart to beg you demand that he gives at least 1-2weeks update of this our story abeg.
    Make I use this one hold body (I go read am everyday 😩) till the next one 🤧

  3. Lyon
    August 25, 19:08 Reply

    This one is “switting” me, and it should remain that way “until Ebenezer decides to happen again.”

    But Ebenezer sef, nawa o…
    Somehow, I feel like a can of worms is about to be opened.

  4. Kings
    August 26, 06:15 Reply

    Ebenezer happens to be that kind of guys that would want sth serious with you just because they discovered that you are a community member. Someone like me would leave it at friendship level if we had known before we discovered that we are actually community members.
    I had that kind of situation in uni days and I had to straight away tell the dude “we would be cool as friends but anything extra is a turn off for me”
    His ego was bruised though it took plenty of time for him to understand that I can’t force that relationship with him.
    We are still cool as friends even gist partners.
    Rex biko keep the love story coming, I have been waiting for this for a while now

  5. Chidi
    August 26, 23:27 Reply

    My own question might sound stupid. Douching is stressful for me. How do I clean up without douching.

    • Rex
      August 29, 00:41 Reply

      Eat less before coitus and have good Muscle control….

    • Francis
      August 31, 13:00 Reply

      Try psyllium husk powder if you have the funds. The right brand will have your stool flowing out most times without a mess on tissue paper

  6. Nuelz
    August 31, 11:41 Reply

    I know of a pastor called Seun and also Even then at school but might not be them sha

  7. Lorde
    September 01, 13:55 Reply

    After reading this, my one question is…… you bottomed after pizza???? There are levels to this tin oo

    • Rex
      September 01, 16:39 Reply

      Oh yes…. I really haven’t ever had the problem….I also classify pizza as light food or snack so I never have problems going down after having them .. except I have full on fufu or garri..but asides that I don’t necessarily need to douch. Plus attending a boarding school where we didn’t know what douching was we learnt how to clench and clean the d with out our anal muscles so it comes out clean lol

      • Francis
        September 01, 20:09 Reply

        The pros 😂😂😂 we never got this tutorial during our time

  8. Runy
    September 07, 04:05 Reply

    Waiting for the next episode.

  9. J3FF
    September 18, 21:17 Reply

    Previously on…..

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