The Grindr Experience: A KDian’s Story
Originally published on sagbachronicles.com
While on a short break on the Greek Island of Mykonos, someone (let’s name him Stalker) tracked me down to my hotel.
The way I figure it, Stalker liked my profile on Grindr and messaged me a few times. When I did not respond to any of his messages, he saw that I was within reasonable range of his location, came to my hotel and sent a message to say he was out front.
The thing is, finding me was by no means a Herculean task (or as intriguing as say, Huck using high tech equipment to track down his torture victim in Scandal). No, it was quite simple: I was the only black guy at the time staying in the main (if not only) gay hotel on the Island.
I might have been concerned if I had seen his last message immediately it was sent, but I only saw it five hours later. So I was quite amused when I read the message, and I remember thinking the length people would go to get a shag.
Very late that night, I went into the old town to have dinner at a fish restaurant near the old port. There were a few other patrons in the restaurant – mixed-sex couples, same-sex couples and a group of girls having dinner. Nothing out of the ordinary, just regular folk. I ordered some grilled fish, had my meal when it was served, settled my bill and left. This was close to midnight.
I got back to my hotel room just after midnight and was suddenly very tired. (Who knew lying on a sunny beach all day could be so tiring?). I fell asleep not long afterwards, completely forgetting to check Grindr.
About 3am, I was woken by severe stomach cramps and ended up on the toilet with a very upset stomach. I thought it was a one-off, but the cycle of painful stomach cramps and diarrhea continued till sunrise, and at one point, it made sense to just throw a couple of towels on the bathroom floor and lie down there. I couldn’t go back to sleep.
My ordeal did not end till around 8am, when my body expunged the poison from me by emesis (fancy word for throwing up and retching one’s guts out), and that hurt!
I managed to get a couple of hours sleep afterwards.
When I woke up and checked Grindr, Stalker had left a message shortly after midnight saying: “I was at the restaurant.” ??
Shit!!!
***
I spent the afternoon by the hotel pool recuperating. The sight of food still made me dry-heave. So it was strictly fluids for me the rest of the afternoon. By the evening, I had enough energy to watch the Drag cabaret show being held at the hotel. It was the final one for the holiday season and it was well attended by both the hotel guests and other guests from other hotels on the island.
It was held on the open air pool terrace and it was a cool windy night and I wore a grey hoodie to keep warm. The show was very entertaining and interactive and lasted roughly two hours.
I returned to my room after the show and checked my Grindr account. There were quite a few messages. There was one from someone (let’s call him Stalker II), whose previous messages included pictures I had not responded to. In this message, he complimented me on my “nice grey sweater”.
Ok… .??
Just then, there was a knock on the door. I wasn’t expecting anyone. Or maybe it was one of the hotel bar men I’d been harmlessly flirting with earlier. Was he off duty already?
I opened the door. A slim guy with brown hair stood there. He apologized, saying he had the wrong door.
I closed the door.
Grindr pinged. I checked it. It is from Stalker II. The message read: “I thought I kick (knock) your door.”
I checked his pictures again. It was the guy who was at my door a minute ago.
I started packing my suitcase. .?????? 
Written by Keredim
About author
You might also like
ABRIDGED SEX AND CATCHING FEELINGS
It all started from a harmless feel-up. I had earlier blurted out something provocative about my ass and he wanted to see – no, feel for himself. In public! As
ABOUT TIME (AN OPEN LETTER TO MY COMMUNITY)
The first reason I decided to write this story was because I have been carrying the burden of what I’ve done in my heart for a long time. There is
A Prayer From Chinelo Okparanta’s ‘Under The Udala Trees’
I just finished reading the riveting novel by Chinelo Okparanta. And after a story that filled me at once with sadness and hope, here’s the segment of the book that
51 Comments
ambivalentone
October 01, 07:21???I’d av packed immediately after the ’emesis’, That was enough after-stalker clues to imminent wahala
Pjay
October 01, 07:35You, Keredim, sound like a snob.
Mandy
October 01, 07:46Yea, he does. ??
Kenny
October 01, 07:55He wasn’t snobbish. He wasn’t interested so he didn’t lead the stalkers on by replying their messages. Plus he wasn’t even feeling well at some point!!!
I use a VPN app that messes with my GPS and changes my location, the kind of messages I get ehn…. … .
Delle
October 01, 12:17How can someone ‘sound’ like a snob? Or ‘write’ like one? That’s how this same Mr Fingers accused me of being a snob.
So much for not buying into hasty generalisations. Sigh.
keredim
October 01, 12:28@Delle, I beg helep me ask o!!
Snob seems to be the word of the day.
Let us try and work it into any sentence. ????
Mr. Fingers
October 01, 12:41Hahaha. I love u too delle.
Delle
October 01, 13:17Biko, ayam ‘snobbing’ you, Mr Fingers. Can you not ‘see’?
Mr. Fingers
October 01, 14:03hahaha. Coman take hug jor.
Pjay
October 01, 15:51Delle isn’t much of a snob. Keredim on the other hand *roll my eyes from Nigeria to Greece * is a big time snob. I have read his other posts on Sagbachronicles.com and he doesn’t treat strangers very nicely from what I gathered. He seems like the quintessential muscular black gay man who feels like he’s at the top of the sexual food chain and therefore deserves to have the gay world worshipping at his feet.
Keredim
October 01, 16:54Thats not snobbery, its discernment. And its Grindr not Facebook. What is the point engaging with someone who you are not physically and ultimately sexually compatible with on grindr? No be Kito dey happen?
“He seems like the quintessential muscular black gay man who feels like he’s at the top of the sexual food chain and therefore deserves to have the gay world worshipping at his feet.”
Dude, that is your inferiority complex speaking out. I can’t control yout thoughts. You may wanna reach out to Sensei.
Pjay
October 01, 18:54Well, there you have it. You’re certainly a snob. There’s a dictionary definition to help you come to terms with your superiority complex. The latter part addresses your condition. “noun (plural snobs)
(disapproving) A person who seeks to be, or is, a member of the upper classes and looks down on lower classes, such as the middle class and the poor. *More generally, an egotistical person who often thinks of people as inferior, particularly anyone not being within their clique or class*”
Pjay
October 01, 19:04Oh and by the way, a quick trip to Google revealed that you might actually be in greater need of a visit to Dr Sensei. ?? Sorry o.
A superiority complex is a psychological disorder in which
the affected individual experiences an exaggerated feeling
of self-importance. He or she feels superior to other people
and displays a general disregard for the thoughts of others.
Individuals with a superiority complex often exhibit a sense
of grandiosity. They typically maintain a feeling that they
are better or more important than other people, and often
fail to take the opinions or desires of others seriously. This
disorder may also be referred to as narcissism or
megalomania.
Traits of someone with a superiority complex include
haughtiness, a lack of empathy, and a tendency to brag.
Individuals with a narcissistic personality often have a
difficult time maintaining close relationships. They exhibit
an intense reaction to anything that is perceived as an
insult. Someone with a superiority complex flatters those
who give him or her admiral acknowledgment, but despise
anyone who does not display admiration. The individual
often claims to be an expert in a number of areas and
pretends to be more than he or she is.
A superiority complex is generally the result of an
underlying inferiority complex . The individual likely feels
inadequate or unimportant in some way and attempts to
compensate for this with an illusory superiority and
egotism. If there is no underlying inferiority complex, the
individual may have received such praise and admiration as
a child that feelings of superiority carried over into
adulthood. Other possible causes of a superiority complex
include emotional abuse, excessive criticism, and
overindulgence from parents.
Keredim
October 01, 21:18Oh wow??
All that just to compensate for your lack of self-esteem?
I guess i will be seeing you at Sensei’s then.
Edo
October 02, 07:38Mr Kere, am in London. We should meet up please. am bored out of my mind.
Xavier
October 01, 22:56Pjay, I don’t think its a superiority complex. It is called the “London syndrome”. Most black gay men in London gay scene are that way. That explains why keredim is the way he is. The dynamics of the London gay scene makes people become uber jaded and squeeze out any spice they have left in them.
Keredim
October 02, 04:51Ouch? ???
Maybe the “London scene” does that to some black men. Maybe because there are a lot of choices and we don’t have to respond to the first grindr message that comes our way. a reaction that is not exclusively black by the way
Or maybe we have developed a sense of self-worth, after more than a few suggestions that we are primarily only wanted in the sack, because of the colour of our skin and perceived size of our appendage?
Whatever it is, I would wish for you, (if you have not already) to come and be part of the “London gay scene” (or any other one where you are allowed to have gay sex freely) for an extended period of time, and let’s see how long you get to keep that “spice”?
z
October 01, 20:45actually it’s quite possible to have some insight to a writer’s personality by reading their works eg Jane Austen is also understandably described as being snobbish by some critics
Delle
October 01, 23:06Now, for you to have credibility in your assertion that one is snobbish, don’t you think it’s better done via a one-on-one interaction? Have you tried reaching across and he turned you down or shut you out? Or do you stay comfy on your couch and just dish out observations, factual or not?
Besides, if ‘Keredim’ is snobbish, I don’t think that makes whatever he is or stands for outside this online blog with pink highlights a bad person. Remember, we have lives outside our pseudonyms. Let’s not get things twisted.
Pjay
October 02, 14:12Seriously? Are you this desperate for his approval? That you’d jump so hard you almost hit ur head against the roof at the first opportunity to redeem ur battered image in the sight of the incredibly sophisticated and magnificently endowed Keredim? *scoffs* Lapdog mentality doesn’t fit you, delightful Delle.
Mandy
October 02, 14:58The last person you’d call Keredim’s lapdog is Delle. Those two can like to disagree like kilode. So if Delle is disagreeing with you, perhaps its’ because, I dunno, its time for you to chill out on this line of argument.
When I agreed with you earlier, the comment was that he SOUNDS like a snob. And somehow, between then and now, he has not only become a snob, he has become a potential clinical patient. Hian! Odiegwu to you people o!
Pjay, you seem so hung up on this ‘Keredim is a snob’ mantra. Is this personal? Did someone crush your heart on Grindr when your messages didn’t get any responses? Were you jilted by an extra macho guy? Because in my opinion, you only get determined to make sure your negative opinion of someone is fixed only when it speaks to an insecurity you are battling.
Jide
October 02, 16:56Shift abeg. You’re too busy.
Pjay
October 02, 23:04Madam Mandy, shift bikonu. It was your beloved Keredim who first suggested that I might need to visit Sensei, a psychiatrist or is it psychologist now, to resolve my perceived inferiority complex. He can be petty but I get called out for paying him in his own coins, really?
Also, I knew Delle to be something of a rat where the big pussy Keredim is concerned so I was quite surprised when I saw him doing what appeared to be a lick of the puss’ boots.
Delle
October 02, 21:33Lmao! Oh so now I’m Keredim’s lapdog? What next? PP and Max are having a pink-themed wedding in Hawaii?
Pjay durling, I’m amazed by you.
Di-Navy
October 01, 07:35stalker alert! quite creepy. lmao. I wouldn’t even last a day in that hotel after stalker 1. what the heck!
Mandy
October 01, 07:48This is really creepy. LOL! PP, I saw your comment on the original post. No be small warning be this o. ?????? All this online snobs we have, bewarned. The next guy you snob may just be waiting outside your door.
Kenny
October 01, 07:57Hian!! The thirst for black cock… ? ?
Pink Panther
October 01, 08:00The kind of stereotype that makes white men incapable of believing any black man should be a bottom. According to an opinion piece I once read.
ambivalentone
October 01, 08:10my dear, that is some real shii. I got super tired of a particular online chat when he kept alluding that I wud top him. Hian!!! I was blue in the face, hoarse in the voice and blistered in the fingers from telling the uncle I was bottom.
Pink Panther
October 01, 08:12? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? It’s a serious wa!
Keredim
October 01, 09:05@Kenny thank you.
@Pjay & Mandy, biko how am i a snob??
Mr. Fingers
October 01, 11:13U are a snob. Deal with it and move on son.
keredim
October 01, 12:05I will…as soon as you deal with your complex that makes you think I am a snob..
Mr. Fingers
October 01, 12:39Ok. I hereby deal with my complex that makes me think my son,keredim,is a snob.
Oya ur turn…
Keredim
October 01, 12:42But you still haven’t said why you say i am a snob?
Mr. Fingers
October 01, 12:46So u wont deal with it then?lol,issorai. I was just messing with you.
DI-NAVY
October 02, 14:24Who isn’t a snob? The truth of the matter is, you can’t possibly warm up to everyone. You can’t possibly reply every message you get on social media. You can’t just please every one. It’s so much work load.
Apart from white men, most folks wants the piece of your flesh on bed and later go on bragging how you guys did it. You don’t expect him to embrace the guys who has been stalking his life out. hmmmmmm.
Brian Collins
October 01, 09:34The thing about stalkers is that you never really know what would drive them over to the murderous edge. Outright rejection or not responding to them.
Thank God the guy wasn’t going to whack you off in that hotel room. Imagine was LIB’s headline would be if she got wind of the story.
Chizzie
October 01, 09:44You know what’s funny is how most of your stories revolve around airing Grindr conversations, and some form of scat experience or another. Hopefully you come up with a new shtick in 2017
Keredim
October 01, 09:49And hopefully in 2017 you stick to your word and stop reading my stories or coming on KD as you have promised a few times.
beejay
October 01, 11:15What’s it y’all say on here? Ah yes, Conji is a bitch. Way I see it, u cuda just taken the risk n gotten down with him. Who knows, might ‘av ended up being one for the books?
Mr. Fingers
October 01, 11:16u better run fast. Heaven hath no fury like a scorned and vindictive gay dude. Dangerous combo.
Delle
October 01, 12:14Lmao! I just knew it would be this man with the quirky sense of humour.
So after reading and viewing all these, no sexcapade? Wow, just wow!
Francis
October 02, 09:17Please is it so difficult to delete your Grindr app, enjoy your vacation and install it again when you get home?
Pink Panther
October 02, 09:18??? Good question.
Keredim
October 02, 10:24#Anuofia????
keredim
October 02, 10:18And how i go come find gist to come gistyou to make you feel better about the “Ugu awusa”wey u dey?
????
Francis
October 02, 10:29So Chizzie is right ke na. ??
KingBey
October 02, 12:16I don’t think he’s a Snob. When you deal with these Oyibo people that only see you as a sex object. Some call blacks people with three legs. So that’s all they wanna know or see…..you can’t possibly be responding to them all. That’s a full time job.
keredim
October 02, 13:39Please enlighten them!????
Mandy
October 02, 14:59I get it now. stereotypes can get so annoying, it makes you have little patience for the people peddling it.