The Grindr Experience: A KDian’s Story

The Grindr Experience: A KDian’s Story

Originally published on

While on a short break on the Greek Island of Mykonos, someone (let’s name him Stalker) tracked me down to my hotel.img_0424

The way I figure it, Stalker liked my profile on Grindr and messaged me a few times. When I did not respond to any of his messages, he saw that I was within reasonable range of his location, came to my hotel and sent a message to say he was out front.

The thing is, finding me was by no means a Herculean task (or as intriguing as say, Huck using high tech equipment to track down his torture victim in Scandal). No, it was quite simple: I was the only black guy at the time staying in the main (if not only) gay hotel on the Island.

I might have been concerned if I had seen his last message immediately it was sent, but I only saw it five hours later. So I was quite amused when I read the message, and I remember thinking the length people would go to get a shag.

Very late that night, I went into the old town to have dinner at a fish restaurant near the old port. There were a few other patrons in the restaurant – mixed-sex couples, same-sex couples and a group of girls having dinner. Nothing out of the ordinary, just regular folk. I ordered some grilled fish, had my meal when it was served, settled my bill and left. This was close to midnight.

I got back to my hotel room just after midnight and was suddenly very tired. (Who knew lying on a sunny beach all day could be so tiring?). I fell asleep not long afterwards, completely forgetting to check Grindr.

About 3am, I was woken by severe stomach cramps and ended up on the toilet with a very upset stomach. I thought it was a one-off, but the cycle of painful stomach cramps and diarrhea continued till sunrise, and at one point, it made sense to just throw a couple of towels on the bathroom floor and lie down there.  I couldn’t go back to sleep.

My ordeal did not end till around 8am, when my body expunged the poison from me by emesis (fancy word for throwing up and retching one’s guts out), and that hurt!

I managed to get a couple of hours sleep afterwards.

When I woke up and checked Grindr, Stalker had left a message shortly after midnight saying: “I was at the restaurant.” ??



I spent the afternoon by the hotel pool recuperating. The sight of food still made me dry-heave. So it was strictly fluids for me the rest of the afternoon. By the evening, I had enough energy to watch the Drag cabaret show being held at the hotel. It was the final one for the holiday season and it was well attended by both the hotel guests and other guests from other hotels on the island.

It was held on the open air pool terrace and it was a cool windy night and I wore a grey hoodie to keep warm. The show was very entertaining and interactive and lasted roughly two hours.

I returned to my room after the show and checked my Grindr account. There were quite a few messages. There was one from someone (let’s call him Stalker II), whose previous messages included pictures I had not responded to. In this message, he complimented me on my “nice grey sweater”.

Ok… .??

Just then, there was a knock on the door. I wasn’t expecting anyone. Or maybe it was one of the hotel bar men I’d been harmlessly flirting with earlier. Was he off duty already?

I opened the door. A slim guy with brown hair stood there. He apologized, saying he had the wrong door.

I closed the door.

Grindr pinged. I checked it. It is from Stalker II. The message read: “I thought I kick (knock) your door.”

I checked his pictures again. It was the guy who was at my door a minute ago.

I started packing my suitcase. .?????? img_6207

Written by Keredim

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  1. ambivalentone
    October 01, 07:21 Reply

    ???I’d av packed immediately after the ’emesis’, That was enough after-stalker clues to imminent wahala

  2. Pjay
    October 01, 07:35 Reply

    You, Keredim, sound like a snob.

    • Kenny
      October 01, 07:55 Reply

      He wasn’t snobbish. He wasn’t interested so he didn’t lead the stalkers on by replying their messages. Plus he wasn’t even feeling well at some point!!!

      I use a VPN app that messes with my GPS and changes my location, the kind of messages I get ehn…. … .

    • Delle
      October 01, 12:17 Reply

      How can someone ‘sound’ like a snob? Or ‘write’ like one? That’s how this same Mr Fingers accused me of being a snob.
      So much for not buying into hasty generalisations. Sigh.

      • keredim
        October 01, 12:28 Reply

        @Delle, I beg helep me ask o!!

        Snob seems to be the word of the day.

        Let us try and work it into any sentence. ????

        • Delle
          October 01, 13:17 Reply

          Biko, ayam ‘snobbing’ you, Mr Fingers. Can you not ‘see’?

            • Pjay
              October 01, 15:51 Reply

              Delle isn’t much of a snob. Keredim on the other hand *roll my eyes from Nigeria to Greece * is a big time snob. I have read his other posts on and he doesn’t treat strangers very nicely from what I gathered. He seems like the quintessential muscular black gay man who feels like he’s at the top of the sexual food chain and therefore deserves to have the gay world worshipping at his feet.

              • Keredim
                October 01, 16:54 Reply

                Thats not snobbery, its discernment. And its Grindr not Facebook. What is the point engaging with someone who you are not physically and ultimately sexually compatible with on grindr? No be Kito dey happen?

                “He seems like the quintessential muscular black gay man who feels like he’s at the top of the sexual food chain and therefore deserves to have the gay world worshipping at his feet.”
                Dude, that is your inferiority complex speaking out. I can’t control yout thoughts. You may wanna reach out to Sensei.

                • Pjay
                  October 01, 18:54 Reply

                  Well, there you have it. You’re certainly a snob. There’s a dictionary definition to help you come to terms with your superiority complex. The latter part addresses your condition. “noun (plural snobs)
                  (disapproving) A person who seeks to be, or is, a member of the upper classes and looks down on lower classes, such as the middle class and the poor. *More generally, an egotistical person who often thinks of people as inferior, particularly anyone not being within their clique or class*”

                  • Pjay
                    October 01, 19:04 Reply

                    Oh and by the way, a quick trip to Google revealed that you might actually be in greater need of a visit to Dr Sensei. ?? Sorry o.

                    A superiority complex is a psychological disorder in which
                    the affected individual experiences an exaggerated feeling
                    of self-importance. He or she feels superior to other people
                    and displays a general disregard for the thoughts of others.
                    Individuals with a superiority complex often exhibit a sense
                    of grandiosity. They typically maintain a feeling that they
                    are better or more important than other people, and often
                    fail to take the opinions or desires of others seriously. This
                    disorder may also be referred to as narcissism or
                    Traits of someone with a superiority complex include
                    haughtiness, a lack of empathy, and a tendency to brag.
                    Individuals with a narcissistic personality often have a
                    difficult time maintaining close relationships. They exhibit
                    an intense reaction to anything that is perceived as an
                    insult. Someone with a superiority complex flatters those
                    who give him or her admiral acknowledgment, but despise
                    anyone who does not display admiration. The individual
                    often claims to be an expert in a number of areas and
                    pretends to be more than he or she is.
                    A superiority complex is generally the result of an
                    underlying inferiority complex . The individual likely feels
                    inadequate or unimportant in some way and attempts to
                    compensate for this with an illusory superiority and
                    egotism. If there is no underlying inferiority complex, the
                    individual may have received such praise and admiration as
                    a child that feelings of superiority carried over into
                    adulthood. Other possible causes of a superiority complex
                    include emotional abuse, excessive criticism, and
                    overindulgence from parents.

                    • Keredim
                      October 01, 21:18

                      Oh wow??

                      All that just to compensate for your lack of self-esteem?

                      I guess i will be seeing you at Sensei’s then.

                    • Edo
                      October 02, 07:38

                      Mr Kere, am in London. We should meet up please. am bored out of my mind.

                  • Xavier
                    October 01, 22:56 Reply

                    Pjay, I don’t think its a superiority complex. It is called the “London syndrome”. Most black gay men in London gay scene are that way. That explains why keredim is the way he is. The dynamics of the London gay scene makes people become uber jaded and squeeze out any spice they have left in them.

                    • Keredim
                      October 02, 04:51

                      Ouch? ???

                      Maybe the “London scene” does that to some black men. Maybe because there are a lot of choices and we don’t have to respond to the first grindr message that comes our way. a reaction that is not exclusively black by the way

                      Or maybe we have developed a sense of self-worth, after more than a few suggestions that we are primarily only wanted in the sack, because of the colour of our skin and perceived size of our appendage?

                      Whatever it is, I would wish for you, (if you have not already) to come and be part of the “London gay scene” (or any other one where you are allowed to have gay sex freely) for an extended period of time, and let’s see how long you get to keep that “spice”?

      • z
        October 01, 20:45 Reply

        actually it’s quite possible to have some insight to a writer’s personality by reading their works eg Jane Austen is also understandably described as being snobbish by some critics

      • Delle
        October 01, 23:06 Reply

        Now, for you to have credibility in your assertion that one is snobbish, don’t you think it’s better done via a one-on-one interaction? Have you tried reaching across and he turned you down or shut you out? Or do you stay comfy on your couch and just dish out observations, factual or not?

        Besides, if ‘Keredim’ is snobbish, I don’t think that makes whatever he is or stands for outside this online blog with pink highlights a bad person. Remember, we have lives outside our pseudonyms. Let’s not get things twisted.

        • Pjay
          October 02, 14:12 Reply

          Seriously? Are you this desperate for his approval? That you’d jump so hard you almost hit ur head against the roof at the first opportunity to redeem ur battered image in the sight of the incredibly sophisticated and magnificently endowed Keredim? *scoffs* Lapdog mentality doesn’t fit you, delightful Delle.

          • Mandy
            October 02, 14:58 Reply

            The last person you’d call Keredim’s lapdog is Delle. Those two can like to disagree like kilode. So if Delle is disagreeing with you, perhaps its’ because, I dunno, its time for you to chill out on this line of argument.

            When I agreed with you earlier, the comment was that he SOUNDS like a snob. And somehow, between then and now, he has not only become a snob, he has become a potential clinical patient. Hian! Odiegwu to you people o!

            Pjay, you seem so hung up on this ‘Keredim is a snob’ mantra. Is this personal? Did someone crush your heart on Grindr when your messages didn’t get any responses? Were you jilted by an extra macho guy? Because in my opinion, you only get determined to make sure your negative opinion of someone is fixed only when it speaks to an insecurity you are battling.

            • Jide
              October 02, 16:56 Reply

              Shift abeg. You’re too busy.

            • Pjay
              October 02, 23:04 Reply

              Madam Mandy, shift bikonu. It was your beloved Keredim who first suggested that I might need to visit Sensei, a psychiatrist or is it psychologist now, to resolve my perceived inferiority complex. He can be petty but I get called out for paying him in his own coins, really?

              Also, I knew Delle to be something of a rat where the big pussy Keredim is concerned so I was quite surprised when I saw him doing what appeared to be a lick of the puss’ boots.

          • Delle
            October 02, 21:33 Reply

            Lmao! Oh so now I’m Keredim’s lapdog? What next? PP and Max are having a pink-themed wedding in Hawaii?
            Pjay durling, I’m amazed by you.

  3. Di-Navy
    October 01, 07:35 Reply

    stalker alert! quite creepy. lmao. I wouldn’t even last a day in that hotel after stalker 1. what the heck!

  4. Mandy
    October 01, 07:48 Reply

    This is really creepy. LOL! PP, I saw your comment on the original post. No be small warning be this o. ?????? All this online snobs we have, bewarned. The next guy you snob may just be waiting outside your door.

  5. Kenny
    October 01, 07:57 Reply

    Hian!! The thirst for black cock… ? ?

    • Pink Panther
      October 01, 08:00 Reply

      The kind of stereotype that makes white men incapable of believing any black man should be a bottom. According to an opinion piece I once read.

      • ambivalentone
        October 01, 08:10 Reply

        my dear, that is some real shii. I got super tired of a particular online chat when he kept alluding that I wud top him. Hian!!! I was blue in the face, hoarse in the voice and blistered in the fingers from telling the uncle I was bottom.

  6. Keredim
    October 01, 09:05 Reply

    @Kenny thank you.

    @Pjay & Mandy, biko how am i a snob??

      • keredim
        October 01, 12:05 Reply

        I will…as soon as you deal with your complex that makes you think I am a snob..

        • Mr. Fingers
          October 01, 12:39 Reply

          Ok. I hereby deal with my complex that makes me think my son,keredim,is a snob.

          Oya ur turn…

          • Keredim
            October 01, 12:42 Reply

            But you still haven’t said why you say i am a snob?

            • Mr. Fingers
              October 01, 12:46 Reply

              So u wont deal with it then?lol,issorai. I was just messing with you.

              • DI-NAVY
                October 02, 14:24 Reply

                Who isn’t a snob? The truth of the matter is, you can’t possibly warm up to everyone. You can’t possibly reply every message you get on social media. You can’t just please every one. It’s so much work load.
                Apart from white men, most folks wants the piece of your flesh on bed and later go on bragging how you guys did it. You don’t expect him to embrace the guys who has been stalking his life out. hmmmmmm.

  7. Brian Collins
    October 01, 09:34 Reply

    The thing about stalkers is that you never really know what would drive them over to the murderous edge. Outright rejection or not responding to them.
    Thank God the guy wasn’t going to whack you off in that hotel room. Imagine was LIB’s headline would be if she got wind of the story.

  8. Chizzie
    October 01, 09:44 Reply

    You know what’s funny is how most of your stories revolve around airing Grindr conversations, and some form of scat experience or another. Hopefully you come up with a new shtick in 2017

    • Keredim
      October 01, 09:49 Reply

      And hopefully in 2017 you stick to your word and stop reading my stories or coming on KD as you have promised a few times.

  9. beejay
    October 01, 11:15 Reply

    What’s it y’all say on here? Ah yes, Conji is a bitch. Way I see it, u cuda just taken the risk n gotten down with him. Who knows, might ‘av ended up being one for the books?

  10. Mr. Fingers
    October 01, 11:16 Reply

    u better run fast. Heaven hath no fury like a scorned and vindictive gay dude. Dangerous combo.

  11. Delle
    October 01, 12:14 Reply

    Lmao! I just knew it would be this man with the quirky sense of humour.

    So after reading and viewing all these, no sexcapade? Wow, just wow!

  12. Francis
    October 02, 09:17 Reply

    Please is it so difficult to delete your Grindr app, enjoy your vacation and install it again when you get home?

    • keredim
      October 02, 10:18 Reply

      And how i go come find gist to come gistyou to make you feel better about the “Ugu awusa”wey u dey?


  13. KingBey
    October 02, 12:16 Reply

    I don’t think he’s a Snob. When you deal with these Oyibo people that only see you as a sex object. Some call blacks people with three legs. So that’s all they wanna know or see… can’t possibly be responding to them all. That’s a full time job.

    • Mandy
      October 02, 14:59 Reply

      I get it now. stereotypes can get so annoying, it makes you have little patience for the people peddling it.

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