THE HOE ISSUE
My tale is not quite different from every gay boy that grew up in this country. The feeling of being alone, scared and judged by everyone you know, even your parents. I had my first sex at 18, with a boy I really cared about. However, it didn’t take long before our egos took over the relationship. By this time, I had accepted who I am. A boy that loves to eat and fuck ass.
Then, this urge came in. The urge to fuck, to caress and dump my load in some pretty boy. My friends said my urge was normal and I was acting out because I broke up with my boyfriend. But no, it was more than that. I craved sex, not love. Does this make me a hoe?
I wanted it. I didn’t want to belong to anyone. Love didn’t mean much to me anymore because of the state of the nation. Different laws that prevents the embrace of my sexuality in public places. So I took my phone and created a second profile on twitter and began to meet people and do hook-ups in different hotels and even their places.
I don’t believe this makes me a hoe, or anyone for that matter. I don’t believe having sex with random people makes you a hoe or “casted” like some would say. Sometimes, I stay in my room thinking if there can be real gay love in a place where it is strongly prohibited, and I’ve come to a conclusion that there’s just little or none.
Most Top guys like me have embraced this theory of mine and they abide by it. Even those, who force themselves to believe that love exist, meet a hot guy and begin to have second thoughts, after realising that he has had sex with most gay guys in the state. Not because he is a hoe, but truly, all most people just want is a good fuck from someone, after which they’ll go about their business. Does that fleeting desire make them hoes? I’m not discouraging relationships, no. I just believe it hard to really, really fall in love with a guy and have them both stay faithful to each other in Nigeria.
Written by Tobi, tweets at @TobiTrill
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26 Comments
xpressivejboy
April 30, 06:04Nice one Tobi. Can I ask you for a favour?
Please do good by having it safe. Would love to have you dump on me that fluffy but firm stake someday. SMfH.
What do you think?
blue fox
April 30, 06:11No it doesn’t make you a hoe, but when it becomes bad is when you leave a dozen broken hearts in your wake; you tell them you love em but you just want sex.
pinkpanthertb
April 30, 07:27True. Sex has a way of getting emotions all tangled up. And personally, I know how much that can hurt.
kendigin
April 30, 06:55Makes sense. But smwhere deep down tops still wish there was a thing called love. Let’s face it, no one wants, or deserves to be alone. Sex satisfies an immediate need, love takes care of the rest.
So while you hop from one bed to another, you may feel momentarily liberated and satisfied. But in a few hours, that ravaging hunger will return with a vengeance. The more you have sex, the more you want more, ad infinitum.
Point is, relatnships are difficult, but possible. It takes genuine desire to want to be together and then lots of planning ahead. Both parties have to have their hearts and heads in the same place, to storm the unfavourable weather.
pinkpanthertb
April 30, 06:56‘Sex satisfies an immediate need, love takes care of the rest.’ I love those words. 🙂
john
May 01, 09:23U are right, no one deserves to be alone…..
kendigin
April 30, 07:59Reblogged this on kendigin's Blog.
Absalom
April 30, 08:06This article was so quickie! That how it’s like being a hoe? Not even a delayed ejaculation. Go slow, bruv!
PROMO: One of my future articles here will try to address this hoe issue. Do stick around! 😉
pinkpanthertb
April 30, 10:00I’m anticipating. 🙂
Chizzie
April 30, 09:13this is revealing esp seeing things from a Tops perspective, but i think to a large extent this justification for being promiscuous. I have friends that are in exclusive relationships even in a homophobic climate like Nigeria. when the chips are down its all abt growing up, I just feel promiscuous tops or people in general aren’t mature enough to care for other ppl so they opt for something easy and fickle . its selfishness at the end of the day and a lack of self control. Everyone has the ability to love; but most are not willing to sacrifice to get it. it gets to a point in ur life where u have to be reflective and realise that there’s got to be more than just sowing ur seed in different butt holes..life isn’t all about that.
and this whole opening of a different twitter “gay” account, I think its pathetic .
lluvmua
April 30, 09:14Nice post tobi * was just smiling allthru* first nd foremost I agree wif u n d love nd nigeria ish!!! There is lil love in nigeria. And secondly I sadly have 2 say this hun! It makes u a HOE sweerie!!! Lol dun worri though we still love u like dat!! Just b careful. Cheers @andre_hayford
tikky20
April 30, 11:39Oh yes it does make you a hoe. People like u are why many bottoms flirt around because they feel the despearte need of acceptance, thereby going around sharing the gudnews without relenting, hoping the guy at the moment would hold them down, only to find out that their hoo-haa (man pussy)has been enlisted on yet another meatloafs(dick) list. Love is about acceptance, and if perchance you get a cute adorable bottom ur way, u go ahead and try keep him down if he digs u too,not counting their history.
alpha papi
April 30, 19:24I disagree wit u,most tops r not lik u ,its bttms dat r promiscous nd hoeish.
lluvmua
April 30, 20:41Sweerie dats so not true! Tops re d major reason some bottomz re promiscous! Tops re always fond of d habit of cheating and all. So in order 4 d poor bottom 2 get satisfied he has to look outside! @andre_hayford
blue fox
May 01, 23:59bottoms hoeish? that’s so false, bottoms wanna settle down but the tops keep breaking their hearts over and over again. telling them they love em while they just want sex. mscheew!
I'm The Confession (@Jaded_Fire)
May 02, 03:11There’s having fun & then there’s being a hoe.This sounds like hoe behavior imho.I find it sad.Having sex with an endless amount of strangers & never letting yourself feel anything but fleeting bodily pleasure.Love can happen ANYWHERE,even in the most harsh of circumstances.You just have want it & be prepared to work for it.Love is a beautiful thing.It’s immensely better than meaningless sex.
This behavior makes for lonely people.
People forget that a relationship & love doesn’t always have to equal sexual monogamy.You & your partner can have an open relationship.
Every human needs that emotional intimacy tho.
kendigin
May 02, 19:42Gbam!!
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JustJames
May 05, 22:05Lol.. y’all arguing about who wants to settle down and whatnot. We’re dudes… dudes wanna fuck. Don’t blame your broken hearts for what’s a the primal human nature of a male.
But if you give yourself the chance you’ll find someone who will make you want to stay. Yh sometimes you might slip up and cheat or somfin but at night its that person you want to hold or be held by.
Gay love, straight love…. They are all imperfect. But love is seeing all the shii and deciding to stick around because you know that person is worth it. Whether he is cheating or nagging or acts effeminate or snores like a train when he sleeps.
That’s all I have to say.
mesardonicmesarcastic
May 25, 14:20Well, take it from me, It’s no different in USA specifically in New York City.
But, it is possible anywhere to really really love a guy, you just have to know how to look.
rapu'm
June 06, 23:57All these things people are saying here, top this, bottom that; is that how we intend to break out of the shackles? By creating wars that don’t even exist? Please, gay is gay is gay. And if I can find the lesbian anywhere, we are still family.
That said, I am the committed relationship sort of guy. That doesn’t mean I don’t have sex (within a limited scope, no need kissing too many lips), especially as I am not in a relationship. When I do get into a relationship, then it would be exclusively me and my person. I don’t have any issue with anybody who wants to ‘share it’ (abeg forgive the usage). But what I’m against is lying. I’ve had dudes tell me, I love you and stuff, which I find annoying because it’s not long before I find out they’re just after sex, and I’m like, dude you didn’t need the lie.
I mostly agree with Chizzie. The thing is, why have you chosen to be promiscous? Is it because you think it’s a more fulfilling way of living for you, or rather is it that you’ve swallowed the nonsense social hook of, ‘relationship is between male and female, so, this guy is just for sex’ ? Is it true that you haven’t felt attached to a guy beyond wanting to lay him? I want to doubt that, but this is life, it shocks you. So, before you go, I want to just fuck around (sorry again), ask yourself these questions. Tell yourself the truth. And then go for it, whatever ‘It’ is.
lluvmua
June 07, 07:09V true rapu’m. Well said. plz kindly ff me n twitter @andre_hayford
DaTerrio Walker
July 14, 04:29I felt the same way Kik me Terrioswagga
DaTerrio Walker
July 14, 04:30the same way about you now you gotta move on with your life it’s your life for you only live once kik me to terrioswagga
boyle
September 25, 15:57Any top ready 2 settle down.buzz me.u re gonna enjoy it.buzz me.
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