It would not be fair to write a series about my life without mentioning a particular woman.  Miss Natalie Eroyo, the woman who inspired my love/lust for older women.

Here’s her story. (This reminds me of Law and Order: SVU)


I was in SS1 or Grade 10, second term to be specific, when a new girl came to my class. A pretty, fair, glasses-wearing girl named Oluchi. She was so shy and cute. She sat in the front of the class. Fourth seat in the first row, if I remember correctly. (I sat on the third seat in the fifth row.) We became friends fast – she was cute, shy and smart, what did you expect? Oh, and her butt was, erm, nice. J

We shared notes, gisted with each other, read Wattpad and shared drinks. You know, basic secondary school girls bonding sturvs. Anyway, I was just steady crushing on Oluchi until that fateful day.

Open day.

I was chilling at the balcony of the school, looking down at parents and students milling in and out of the school hall when a red Hyundai pulled in, looking for where to park. There was a bit of car traffic as the school security struggled to fit every parent into the school’s obviously inadequate parking lot. I caught a glimpse of the lady in the back of the red Hyundai say something to her driver, before she opened the door and stepped out.

Have you ever seen soldiers when the National Anthem is playing? They freeze all action. This was how the ENTIRE school got when the woman stepped out of her car. Well, the entire senior secondary school and the people standing by the school hall.

Guys! Half of the bloody school! Kilode?!

This woman was utterly dumbfoundingly beautiful. I was still struggling to catch my breath when a classmate tapped me.

“Guy, whose sister be that? SS3 boys don dey go toast am,” Emmanuel said to me, asking for answers I wanted too.

I walked away from him and tried to shake off the disorienting feeling of goosebumps on my skin and wetness between my thighs. The beautiful woman was on the phone now. And then she looked up – and we made eye contact. At least, that was what happened in my head. She’d actually been scanning the crowd of people staring at her for someone. She didn’t see the person and so she called a junior boy and said something to him that had him running up to the floor where I was. When the boy got tour floor, male students swarmed around him, asking him the same question: WHO WAS SHE HERE TO SEE?

“Olu…Oluchi…” the little boy stammered.

The boys rushed into the class where Oluchi was in, their excitement spilling over with their words.

“Oluchi baby! Let’s go see your result…”

“Oluchi, so you have fine sister that you dinnor tell us about…”

While this was going on, I dismissed the junior boy and went back to gazing at this striking beauty who must be Oluchi’s sister. She was now leaning against her car. She was not tall but she wasn’t outrightly short. She was light-skinned, but not the buttery-yellow complexion that Oluchi had. Oluchi was a bus-stop away from being an albino in terms of her complexion. This woman, on the other hand, was just that perfect shade of a Lagos-Delta babe. It was becoming obvious to me that Oluchi came from good genes. I knew of her two younger brothers and they too were as fine as her.

Just as Oluchi emerged from the classroom, there were disbelieving cries of “Na wash” and “Na lie joor” from the guys inside. I was wondering fleetingly what had them triggered when Oluchi approached me with a smile.

And she said, “Would you like to join me to go see my mum?”

“Sure. Where is she?” I smiled back at her. I wanted to meet this woman who was responsible for the lives of such beautiful children.

“She’s right there.” Oluchi pointed as she spoke.

I followed her gesture to her sister – Wait! That was her mother?!

“That’s not your sister?” I said with no small amount of incredulity. Suddenly I understood what the boys in my class were reacting to earlier.

“No!” She gave a short laugh. “That’s my mum. Don’t tell me you don’t believe me too!”

I look Oluchi, look the woman who she talk say be her mama, look Oluchi again. Omo, nawa o!

“You are trying to tell me that that woman gave birth to you?” I asked.


I reared back and began saying in a loud voice, “This bobo is strong! I say this bobo is strong o!”

Oluchi rolled her eyes at me. “I can’t deal with this right now.” And she turned and began walking away.

I stared after her, and then I looked at her mother, and then Whitney Houston’s words came to me: There can be miracles when you believe.


After one too many games of Whot, Truth and Dare, Bubble Bursting (Yes at my age, I was chasing bubbles to burst them. I own my shame) and movies, I was tired. I needed a change of scenery and I wanted to check out Oluchi’s mother again to see if it was the distance that was deceiving me. I went downstairs to the Great Hall where all class teachers were seated with parents, spewing out lies and deceit about the students. I did not see Oluchi but I spotted her brothers Elliot and Jason and I went to meet them. I was talking to Elliot and playing with Jason, when an angel strolled up to us. I turned and it was her.

Somebody, help me to shout “Fadalawd”!

Come on, shout it wella!

Have you ever heard the saying: ‘Set pass math set’? Omo, the person that made it up must have had this woman in mind. In my head, I had joined Asa to sing ‘Beautiful is your name… Wonderful is what you are to me.’

She was what you call GLORIOUS. She personified the adjective. I sighted my English (or was it Literature?) teacher gawking at her and I could not blame a nigga.

She had stopped before me and somewhere in my head, my brain was warning me not to fuck this up. I beamed my 42 (abi how many teeth dey inside mouth?) toothed dentition at her.

“Good afternoon, ma.”

I increased the wattage of my shining teeth. She smiled back, this sexy radiance on her face that was somewhere between a smile and a smirk.

“Good afternoon. How do you do?” she said to me.

I do fine, I almost said.

“How do you do?” I said instead. “I’m Oluchi’s friend. Ife Stark. I came around looking for her. I figured she should have seen her result by now. I wanted to know if she passed me.” My intense teeth shining was starting to feel creepy on my face.

“Natalie Eroyo,” she introduced herself and extended her hand.

I took it in a handshake. Gah! Her hand was soft like it was moisturized with money.

“Pleased to meet you, Ms. Eroyo,” I said, smiling wider, refusing to recognise that she is another man’s property by addressing her as “missis”.

“Natalie, please,” she said. She threw a quick glance around. “Oluchi should be around here somewhere. I checked her result first, then I went to see Elliot’s. We just finished with Jason’s.”

“I see. Perhaps you could tell her that I came looking for her, Ms –”

She cut me off with a stern gaze.

“…Natalie,” I immediately corrected. “I’ll be back soon.”

She laughed and nodded. I left the hall and went back to my class to process the fact that a goddess gave birth to my friend. I watched over the Great Hall like an eagle. More like a creepy stalker. Any how I watched out for Oluchi’s arrival. Immediately I spotted her, I went downstairs to meet her. I caught up with her and went with her to meet her mother.

We headed to the car where her mother was and then Oluchi was supposed to go get her things from the hostel so that they could leave; her brothers had gone to do the same. As she turned to leave, she told me to stay and keep her mother company. Just the words I wanted to hear!

I stayed with Natalie and we talked quite a lot about a number of things. She was a banker, so we spoke about the banking industry, the current state of banks nationwide, then about music, art, poetry. At some point, we began walking towards the hostel because Oluchi was taking forever to get back (not that I minded). About 20 minutes later, the Eroyo family left with their light and beauty.

As the years go by, I’m still reminded by classmates of how much my lust for Natalie Eroyo used to drip like a bad pipe and I’d simply laugh, because I don’t know how to tell them that if I had my way, I’d surrender myself to be Ms. Natalie Eroyo’s sex toy, even if it’s for one night.

PS: Welcome new readers! Feel free to show me love and affection in the comments.

Written by Ife Stark (formerly known as iAmNotAPerv)

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The single story creates stereotypes, and the problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue, but that they are incomplete. They make one story become the only story. –


  1. Wonda Buoy
    September 18, 07:48 Reply

    It felt like I was there with you. There’s something alive in the writing. Well-done, Ife.

  2. Mandy
    September 18, 15:48 Reply

    As I read, for a while, I thought the story would end in you and the woman hooking up. And then Oluchi would find out. And there’d would be drama. She would be so betrayed and shout at you. And you would grab her and kiss her to stop her shouting. And she’ll kiss you back. And before you know it, you are in a full-blown affair with both mother and daughter.

    Phew! Reads like a Nollywood film, right? That is, if Nollywood will ever get our stories right.

  3. Sleek Creamy
    September 18, 20:08 Reply

    Come on mandy at least appreciate the writer na,
    Phew! Very captivating, at some point i was thinking that the both kids will eventually become family friends, then Oluchi will have Eroyo visiting the house then as time goes on, the both of them will start having something going on for them, while they both get carried away, one of Oluchi’s brother finds out and lynch them both or something. in the end Oluchi’s mother stops Eroyo from coming to the house…..

  4. Omiete Graham-Whyte
    September 19, 09:18 Reply

    Ife!!!!!!! Gosh I have missed you, where have you been. I literally was imagining my school as I read this, and I used to crush on older guys too so I can relate.

  5. flame
    September 19, 15:42 Reply

    Intense and beautifully tinted with humour. Great read!

  6. Delle
    September 20, 13:24 Reply

    Remember you should me this in Tomiwa’s. I read this firsthand and I don’t know why it’s making me feel so good.???

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