Previously on THE LOVE OF A BOY…
Skipping class in public schools, like my previous one, was a thrill. The school wasn’t fenced, and there was the town on one side of the school and the bushy wilds on the other side. As junior students, we loved skipping class, preferring instead to go swimming in the streams and plucking fruits from the trees in the bushy wilds. It was such bliss.
The school I moved to for my senior year however was different. Not only were we smack-dab in the middle of nowhere, but it was a pretty small school, and fenced in on all corners. One could only be absent from classes for so long without detection. If you were to evade class any day, you were either ill in the school clinic, or in the library (that is if you had an assignment or something to catch up on), or in my case, in the dormitory.
Here’s the thing though: if you do decide to be in the dormitory during classes, you’d be locked in, until rec time, and after then, till school over. Of course, the dorm patrons did their usual rounds before securing the locks on the hostels, and the principal also made her rounds to inspect all the dorms. So, you had to evade getting caught twice, thrice if you’re a junior, because the senior prefects did their rounds in the junior hostels.
That day that I skipped class, I’d spent the previous night reading a novel I’d promised to return to the owner by morning. I was in my hostel, which was nicknamed Titanic, not because it was a ship or anything, but because it was a very large space, with many doors leading in and out of the many dorms and bathroom stalls, making it easy for students to evade detection by those patrolling for truants. It was literally quite the maze, my hostel.
And so, I skipped class that morning to catch up on the sleep I didn’t get the previous night and to read another book. I knew I wasn’t the only truant in the hostel; there are usually as many as ten students scattered all over the hostel, with one reason or the other for skipping class – but on that day, we couldn’t have been more than four students. Things were relatively quiet in the hostel.
So, there I was in my bed – well, not actually my bed; I was on the bed of my corner mate – a cup of tea in my hand and wrapped up in a duvet, engrossed with my reading, when he walked in. his name was Jesse. Jesse was one of those boys who liked to think they were tough, macho, gangster – but you can tell that they’re really just nerds playing at being macho. He was a leanly-built boy, very dark-skinned, with blood-red lips, a startling splash of colour on his coal-dark face. He wasn’t drop-dead good looking, but he was extremely attractive and his wannabe bad boy persona was a little alluring. He walked over to my bunk and was all chatty, which was really exasperating for me because I simply didn’t want to be bothered. But I managed a grunt or two before turning my attention firmly back to my book.
Then he fully entered into my corner and perched on the side of my bed, creasing my almost-perfectly-made-up bed, with smirk on his face that I found annoying.
“Dude, wallahi, I’m very hungry,” he said.
I was in my mind, like: WTF is that to me?
And then, he switched beds and came to sit on the bed I was in, edging closer to me and said, “come on, man, help me out. I’m hungry. We’re locked in, otherwise I would have dashed to the cafeteria to get something.”
At this point, just to get him away from me, I was about to get up, throw open my locker and just let him have whatever he wanted. It was no secret that I always had my provisions stocked every two weeks or so (my mother was trying to make up for the extra year I had to repeat for changing schools, and I didn’t stop her when her actions went from compensation to a habit).
However, as I was about to move, Jesse then said, “I’ll do anything.”
To be honest, I’d never had any interest in Jesse sexually. Being something of a book nerd myself, I wasn’t into other nerdy boys. So, I never thought of him as someone I’d ever want to get down with. But I was really irritated by his intrusion on my time and I wanted to have some fun at his expense.
So, I turned to him and asked, “Anything?”
“Yeah, dude,” he said.
At this point, I was mulling over whether I really wanted to go down that path with him. I mean, it had worked with Zik, and I wasn’t even out to have any fun then.
“Just what exactly would you do for me?” I finally asked.
He kept on stressing on anything, with that bad boy attitude, like he could lay the world at my feet and nothing was too big a feat for him.
So I decided to go for the shock factor, to take him down a few notches.
“Okay then, fuck me,” I deadpanned.
He giggled and said, “I know, right?”
But I was in dead-serious mode as I said, “No, Jesse. I want you to fuck me.”
He reared back, looking startled then, which lasted about two seconds, and then he burst out into laughter, making it a point to stomp his feet and smack his hands on the bed. Only when he saw that the seriousness hadn’t left my face did he stop laughing long enough to say, “Wait, you’re actually fucking serious?”
“As serious as the hunger biting your stomach,” I answered, very poker-faced.
And then he burst out in outrage, “Bro, what the fuck! Why would you even say something like that? That’s disgusting.”
I calmly turned to my book and relaxed into the bed, saying, “Well, you’re the one who’s hungry. So, what’s it going to be?”
He stared at me so intently that I had to look up from my book to meet the expression of disgust and menace that was in his eyes. It was such a fulminating look that I inwardly recoiled as I wondered if I’d gone too far.
As I began thinking of a way to douse the situation before it escalated, he said quietly, as though he wanted to be clarified, “So, you want me to fuck you… In the ass, you mean… A guy like me…”
I was about to ease up and play it off as a joke, but then he went and added, “But you have one of the hottest girls in our set as your girlfriend.”
Seeing as dating that girl was something of a sore point for me, I was irritated afresh. And I was re-determined to continue pushing. So I said, “You said you would do anything, Jesse.”
“Over my dead body!” he exclaimed.
Okay, that was fun, I thought. It’s time to be done with this boy.
So, chuckling as though to tell him this was all just a joke (which it technically was), I got up from the bed and threw open my provision locker, asking him to take whatever he needed. He stared at me for a few moments, as though he couldn’t understand what had just happened, before reaching in to grab a bag of cereal and beverage, and proceeding to fill up his bowl generously. I couldn’t tell if he thought I was joking or not as he started munching away, but I knew from the furtive glances he kept throwing my way that I’d fucked up. I tried to make light of the situation, but he didn’t look like he was buying it.
After an uncomfortable period of time spent chatting about nothing in particular, he was finally done eating and soon left. By this time, I’d lost interest in the book I’d been so engrossed in, as I began thinking to myself what would happen if Jesse decided to get chatty with other boys about our weird encounter. I began to realize the repercussions of my rash behaviour – the damage to my reputation if this got out and worse, if it reached the girls’ hostel. What would I do? How would I survive that?
That whole day, I kept looking around for the snickering looks, especially from the boys in Jesse’s dorm. But other than the usual joshing around, nothing much was happening. However, my mind wasn’t at ease. I knew it would only take awhile, maybe a day or two, and Jesse would talk and the newsreel would start spinning. That entire day, my heart was in my mouth and I was very tense with dread. However, I didn’t run into Jesse again until the day ended.
It wasn’t until far into the middle of the night, when the whole Titanic was quiet with slumber, safe for the soft music from the stereos we were allowed, that I felt it. My duvet was gently being lifted, and I felt a light tap on my foot and a whisper of my name.
It was Jesse.
I became instantly alert but kept my cool. What on earth was he doing here?
“Scoot over,” he whispered.
But I was too dumbfounded to speak or react. It wasn’t until he started trying to get into the bed with me that I quickly made room for him, all the while looking around in the dark to see if he was alone or if someone or others were lurking in the dark; if this was a setup of some kind.
But I couldn’t discern any other movements in the darkness.
And then he was whispering into my ear, “Okay, Yusuf, I’m game. Let’s do it.”
I giggled nervously under my breath, quite unsure what I’d just heard. “Jesse, what the fuck are you doing here?” I found myself blurting out.
Of course I knew what he was doing here and what he meant – but hey, remember how I was originally not serious about it?
But this guy was not having it, stating that I’d talked him into it, and he was willing to try and not to leave him hanging.
“Not here,” I began saying.
But he wouldn’t budge. “Why not here? Everyone is asleep. No one will hear us.”
I relented then, especially since I could feel his boner on my side through the briefs he was wearing. I reached into that underwear and grabbed hold of his cock. It wasn’t that big, but when he let out a soft moan, that was all the encouragement I needed. I kissed him and he kissed me back. It was good; he was a good kisser. We continued kissing, and then I broke it just long enough to grab for my Vaseline, lubricating my palm and then massaging his throbbing cock as he writhed in pleasure beside me. Then, unable to bear it, he turned me on my side, my back up against his chest, and began to prod his fingers into my ass, gently easing a finger, then two, inside me.
I was still dazed and, to be honest, a little apprehensive about getting caught. But when he pulled down my boxers and began prodding into my hole with his cock, I abandoned all apprehension I was feeling and relaxed, guiding him in the dark. Looking back at it now, I have to say we were crazy, taking a risk like that. But I remember thinking to myself: Hey, you’ve fucked plenty of times with Zik like this, so there’s nothing to worry about.
Jesse was passionate, but only because, I suspect, he was focused on doing this without making a lot of noise. He made love almost like he was a natural at this, teasing my earlobes and the base of my neck with gentle bites, whilst firmly grabbing at my ass cheeks and parting them open like he wanted to dive in deeper. I had to reach back and press his head against my back to muffle the sounds of his grunts as he reached orgasm. He held on tightly to me and we didn’t move as we relished that moment perhaps. As his cock went limp and slipped out of me, I felt his cum roll down the side of my ass cheek. He stayed a little longer, five, ten minutes. And then, just as he’d slipped quietly into my bed, he also slipped out and was out of my dorm.
I laid there in my bed for a minute or two, too scared to move. I casually glanced about my corner, feeling reassured by the deep breathing of my corner mate. Chances were if he’d slept through that, then most likely my other dorm-mates did as well. But looking back at it now, it’s hard to fathom that a roomful of sixteen to eighteen boys slept through my nocturnal hookups, not just this one with Jesse but all the others with Zik. And those nightly shags with Zik were too numerous to count. I mean, there had to have been at least one person who knew. But if such a person existed, he never said a word to me and no one ever hinted at it.
Anyway, I didn’t run into Jesse again until two days later. And when I did, it was strange. I expected us to act like nothing happened, and we did, but not for long though. Jesse switched up on me a couple of days later – changing routes whenever we were approaching each other, avoiding eye contact with me. He was basically treating me like I was a plague.
I wasn’t going to have that. The last thing I needed was awkwardness around me; I do not know how to deal with that. So I cornered him in the hostel the day after I noticed this change; my intention was to get some reassurance that we were good.
Once cornered, he panicked, darting his eyes left and right like he didn’t want to be seen with me. I couldn’t understand this behaviour and even began to get irritated at him. So, I pulled him from the hallway into one of the bathroom stalls (oh, what the walls of these bathroom stalls would say if they could talk), and after checking to be sure we were alone, I said, “Okay, what is up with you? Why do you have to be so awkward?”
Still looking wildly around, he said, “Look, guy, I’m sorry but we can’t do that shit anymore. Ever!”
I drew back in surprise, and then, feeling my irritation bloom, I snapped at him, “What makes you think I want another go at it?”
He looked slightly hurt at my response, which baffled me. Like, WTF was wrong with this dude!
Then he drew in a deep breath and finally said in a steady tone, “Someone saw us the other night.”
I cannot describe the instant cold that went down my spine when I heard this. I went still and for a moment, right there in the bathroom, with the faint dormitory noises coming in from outside, you could hear a pin drop.
I sighed and then asked quietly, “Who is it?”
Jesse looked at me and swallowed hard before saying, “Zik. Zik is the one who saw us.”
Another wave of shock slammed into me, but this time, it was mixed with relief. Zik?!!! OK, what!
When I asked him how Zik found out, Jesse snapped, “I don’t know! But he came to me the day before yesterday with the devil’s look in his eyes, saying he knew what we did and he was going to go to the school authority.”
I began to feel terrible for Jesse. He was visibly shaking as he recounted his encounter with Zik.
“What else did he say?” I prodded.
“He said he never wants to see me anywhere close to you, and that if I as much as breathe in your direction, let alone look at you, he will go straight to the principal. Dude, please understand, I don’t want to get into trouble, not for this, bro.”
I could understand his terror, and I promised I wouldn’t make the situation any more complicated. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that for nearly a year, Zik had been tapping my ass on the regular and that he, Jesse, was simply on the receiving end of a jealous lover’s scorn.
Till we graduated, Jesse avoided me like I was the harbinger of the plagues of Egypt, and I kept my promise to not complicate matters by trying to talk to him. However, that day, as soon as he dashed out the door of the bathroom, I doubled over with incredulous laughter. I laughed for about a minute, until it dawned on me that I wasn’t exactly out of the woods myself. Zik knew. Of course he knew. He and I were in the same dorm and he was only a few bunks away from me. If anyone had a reason to keep my bunk under surveillance, it’d be him. He had a volatile temper; he was the real deal when it came to the badass guys.
What I couldn’t understand was why he hadn’t confronted me. It’d been nearly a week since that night with Jesse.
Then it dawned on me that he had in fact been acting funny around me, giving me cold stares and not saying anything to me. I realized that if I’d spoken to him during that time, he’d have likely ignored me. He was seething and I didn’t even know it. I suddenly began to panic. What was he going to do to me, about me?
It took a week, just when I’d resigned myself to the notion that this whole matter would quietly get buried – when my confrontation with Zik finally happened.
It was one of those days I didn’t go to the dining hall for lunch. I’d spent time in the biology lab (can’t remember exactly what I was doing there), and when I got back to the hostel, I just needed to shower. The Titanic was mostly empty; it was lunchtime after all. I was in the bathroom, had just turned off the shower and was about to lather up, when I heard the bathroom door flung open and slammed shut. I heard footsteps but I wasn’t particularly concerned, until I heard the curtain to my stall get yanked apart so hard, it almost fell off the railing.
I whirled about to find myself facing a furious Zik. His eyes were bloodshot and he was breathing heavily. I won’t lie, fear gripped me. Seeing his emotional state had me suddenly afraid for my wellbeing.
“How could you?” he spat at me. “How could you do that to me?”
I opened my mouth, ready to feign ignorance, but he seemed to know I was about to lie because he snapped, “And don’t even deny it. I saw you with Jesse.”
At first, I didn’t know what to say, and then I blurted out, “But Zik, we never talked about us being exclusive.”
“And that’s why you go fucking other guys, right?” he sneered.
I recoiled, utterly shocked by the intensity of his anger. I was also really dumfounded by the hurt and devastation I could see on his face. His eyes even looked glassy with unshed tears. I grabbed his shirt and tried pulling him to me, but he slapped my hands away.
“Don’t you dare touch me!” he roared.
Something about his rage touched me. I was thinking: This dude, baddest guy of his class, beloved of the girls – brought down to tears by an average but decent ass on a fellow boy?
I was moved. I grabbed him a little harder this time and pulled him into the stall. He tried to fight me off but I held on tighter, all the while mumbling that I was sorry over and over again, till his trembling body began to relax against mine, into the embrace.
I cupped his face in my palms and I said, “I’m sorry, Zik. If I had known you’d be this hurt, I swear I wouldn’t have done what I did with Jesse. It wasn’t even planned. It just happened.”
“Don’t tell me that,” he said, getting riled up again.
And I quickly kissed him to silence him. After we’d kissed for a moment, while still locked in the tight embrace, his clothes wet from their contact with my wet body, he finally whispered in my ear, “Don’t ever do that to me… Please. I love you.”
I nodded and we broke our embrace, mainly because we could hear students returning to the hostel from their lunch.
As he walked away with the wetness on the front of his clothes, I said, “Will you come over tonight?”
He nodded, giving me a little smile. And then he said, “I swear, if I catch Jesse anywhere near you, wallahi, I’ll fuck him up.”
And he was gone.
I stood there for a minute thinking. At my age then, I’d of course never experienced such raw emotions from another male. And this warmed my heart. It opened my eyes for the first time to the possibility of sharing my heart and life with someone, a man.
But this was years ago. And I’m sure you’d like to know where Zik and I ended up.
Well, we stayed together for about two years after secondary school. I got admission into a public university while he got into a private school. As time passed, things mellowed down between us. Numbers were changed and we lost touch. I got a hold of his number later on and called him. But I didn’t get quite the reception I’d hoped for. He wasn’t cold, just indifferent; talking to me like I was one of his homeboys, which I found odd. And every time I tried to steer our conversation toward something sentimental, he’d shut down.
This went on a while every time I called him, and then I came to the realization that I had to move on as he’d clearly done. It was apparent that he either wasn’t into boys anymore or just wasn’t into me anymore.
Recently though (which really was the catalyst to me writing this story), I got a friend request on Facebook from him, which kinda surprised me, because I’d thought our chapter was closed. We got talking, and I decided to test our situation by bringing up our love affair. This time around, he was more receptive to that line of conversation, and couldn’t wait to meet up and catch up – not necessarily about us, even though he mentioned that he was open to us discussing the possibility of us hooking up again.
But too much time has passed and I’m not really interested in hooking up with him. But it could be something I might do for old times’ sake. However, with the pandemic, I haven’t been able to get back to him about a scheduled meet-up. He’s based in Dubai now, but currently still in the country. So maybe we’ll see, maybe we won’t. We’ll see what happens, and I’ll keep y’all posted.
Written by Yusuf