Dear You

“How can a man love his fellow man?”

That was the question a heterosexual friend of mine asked me a couple of years ago, when in a fit of frustrated desire, I outed myself to him, in order to let him know I fancied him.

And when he blurted out that question, I rolled my eyes at him and corrected him: “I’m not in love with you. I just have a crush on you.”

And he amended: “Still… how can you have a crush on your fellow man? How can you desire a man like you? How can you want to get naked with someone whose body is hard and firm like yours, as opposed to a woman’s body which is soft and curvy?”

His was not the beginning of a homophobic rant, I could tell that from his expression. He looked genuinely befuddled, unable to comprehend the concept of an attraction between same sexes.

And indeed, really, how can that be?

How can you take in the angular features of that male, sloping down to budding lips often bordered by the hirsute growth o beards and/or a moustache, and feel a flutter of butterflies in the pit of your stomach?

How can you not behold the upsweep of a bosom, full and promising all sorts of womanly pleasures, and not be repulsed?

How can you be aware of the phallic projection nestled between his thighs, and feel a flush of desire fan across your cheeks?

How can you be in bed with him, snuggled in his arms, basking in the fumes of post-coital euphoria, and want to say the words ‘I love you’ . . . to your fellow man?!

I don’t know. I don’t have the answers.

But it can’t be wrong, because nothing right is wrong. Nothing perfect is wrong. And this, what I feel for you, is everything right and perfect.

That constriction I feel in my chest cavity at the sound of your voice, as though my heart muscles are pulsating faster than usual to cope with the chorus of your words…

That glow that suffuses my face, lights up my eyes, and lifts my lips to expel the rich sound of my laughter, just because you smiled…

That crushing feeling of loss, damp, cold and heavy, weighting down on my insides and calling up an anguish that is unmatched by the physical pain of a cane’s lash or an iron’s burn, when you have to walk away from me…

It is all so exquisite – the pleasure and the pain. Right and perfect. Both the good and the bad. And that is why when I ask you why loving you can be so beautiful and yet hurt so much, and you tell me:

Because beautiful things are supposed to hurt

Roses and thorns

Rain and thunder

Sunlight and burn

You and I…

I smile and wish I can find that heterosexual friend of mine from a couple of years ago, the one I had the crush on, to tell him that a man loving his fellow man has no logic. It bears no abomination. It requires no explanation. It just is – like Love. Natural. Beautiful. Like You and I.

Sincerely Me

Pink Panther

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  1. gad
    January 06, 03:54 Reply

    Let’s call this a beautiful poetic prose. Pinky is there a name like that? A lot of questions, how can a man love another man,why,how? Plenty questions but the answer came simply, ” it just is”. Well done PP.

    • s_sensei
      January 06, 07:53 Reply

      @King: Gad just answered the question I asked you the other day. Why is palm oil red? It just is! Simpo!

      Gad, is frightfully NEAR his epiphany. Thumbs up, Kdsians. Loool

      • gad
        January 06, 09:52 Reply

        With this I just realized (sadly) that you are among the bandwagon of people that chose to mis-interpret my comments. Epiphany? Does this word now has a new meaning? I have known all my life that epiphany is that period in Christian calendar that commemorates the visit of the child Jesus by the 3 wise men.i have seen it used here severally so pls someone should teacher me, biko

      • Lord II
        January 06, 16:53 Reply

        Eh Sensei well I can take this for now but you know….am still looking for something more…..ah…well..thanx for remembering tho! Means a lot!

      • s_sensei
        January 06, 22:01 Reply

        and dont be too serious. I said i know you better than you know yourself. That could mean anything. maybe i was just being half serious. Maybe its true. Maybe its not. abeg chill…

        • gad
          January 07, 04:06 Reply

          Chilled. Was not even hot in the first

      • s_sensei
        January 07, 08:20 Reply

        Sorry, king. It just seemed sarcastic

    • s_sensei
      January 06, 18:44 Reply

      @gad: hahahaha! You have got to chill. Sadly, I think I know you more than you knw yourself.
      @king: I like your perfume. What’s the name? Sarcasm?

      • gad
        January 06, 20:47 Reply

        Now there is only one name for someone that claims to know another better than himself. Going by your previous interactions here, I’m sure you don’t deserve that name. Or am I wrong?

      • Lord II
        January 07, 04:13 Reply

        Sarcasm? Sensei….am amazed oooo. I just paid you a complement and you think I was being sarcastic? Wow… Sensei am sure you knew better than to have said that. it meant a lot that you still remembered how I was feeling and tot to mention it and by that you tot I was only being overtly smart???? SMH.

    • s_sensei
      January 06, 21:57 Reply

      Someone who knows you better than yourself is a shrink, Gad. lol!

      • gad
        January 07, 04:04 Reply

        We are here. We are learning

  2. simba
    January 06, 04:07 Reply

    This is beautiful…. seems as if directed to me… especially the part that read… pleasure and pain in loving..
    …PS thanks guys, my KD family for ur prayers.. am better and stronger.. thanks Khalesi and James for checking on me..peak thanks and many others

    • pinkpanthertb
      January 06, 04:16 Reply

      Glad you are feeling better, simba. Be strong and take care. 🙂

    • Peak
      January 06, 06:53 Reply

      Great to know that ur spirit is on the come up

      • simba
        January 07, 06:35 Reply

        Thanks peak..ur a darling

  3. Lord II
    January 06, 04:51 Reply

    The power of a poem tho!…Ah yes that bland question has been posed at me too by some str8t die hards…sigh…if only some of them knew to give freely meant to come out of their struggles.

  4. A-non
    January 06, 04:58 Reply

    Thoroughly enjoyed it Pinky…thanks for sharing this.

  5. Ace
    January 06, 04:59 Reply

    Oh Simba! I wasn’t aware you were sick, hope you are feeling better? This post just reminded me of someone’s post on Facebook (which i am yet to reply). The guy went on and on about how we are trying to “enlarge our coast” by getting as many straight people as possible. I really hate falling for a straight guy,the feeling sucks big time, like you are window shopping .

    • simba
      January 06, 05:28 Reply

      Thanks@ Ace… I wasn’t sick dear.. just ije love .. love affairs and things tht concern the heart..

      • Ueze
        January 06, 07:53 Reply

        The way you put it though.

  6. Colossus
    January 06, 05:19 Reply

    Beautifully written. Love is love, it takes over and you really can’t explain it.

  7. Masked Man
    January 06, 05:24 Reply

    Must be really hard to out one’s self out of frustration.
    Nice one Pinky.

  8. Dennis Macauley
    January 06, 05:45 Reply

    Falling for straight guys? I have been there! Its not worth the headache! And when they eventually are convinced to get into bed with you, sex is so awkward like it’s a log of wood. You will do everything; and goodluck trying to top them, that one is another matter.

    Erm, there are certain details I cannot divulge, lest I land in divorce court. I cannot afford Fiona Shackleton biko

    • Lord II
      January 06, 16:57 Reply

      Whaaaat?? To top a str8t guy is the easiest Dennis..haba I thot you of all KDs should know dat. Ah ok sorry Mrs M is.prob around d corner..i feel you!

      However, trust me when I say all str8t guys think about when it comes to gay sex is dat u are about to plunge in and am sorry for the over curious ones coz dats what they got!

  9. Mandy
    January 06, 07:10 Reply

    Is there more to this love letter, I wonder… Perhaps PP getting in a word or two of love to he-who-has-become-his-commander-in-chief? My, love does look really rosy on the pink lane. 😀 lol

  10. paytong533
    January 06, 07:18 Reply

    That is a really beautiful piece. I have to agree with it. Something similar happened to me and I simply told my friend (was homophobic) that love is beautiful and pure no matter wat form. All couples gay straight lez all couples in love are beautiful and perfect to me. Love is pure and true. It is an untainted force that is powerful and strong

    • pinkpanthertb
      January 06, 07:21 Reply

      That is just what most of the society doesn’t get. for some reason, if its not sexual love the conventional way, then it must be an abomination.

      • paytong533
        January 06, 07:29 Reply

        I hate when people are closed minded and ignorant. It drives me up a wall. I mean just let them be. They are happy and that’s all that matters. Anyways I have to go to bed. I have school in the morning. Hope to chit chat again some time 🙂 good night

  11. Handsomely Inclined
    January 06, 07:21 Reply

    Nice one pinky nice one…..

    @Ace,lol,I have seen your comment on the guy’s post ooo,I even dropped my comment too..,,there is something about that guy,he keeps on posting homophobia posts yet he is an angel on BBM….one day,I asked him what’s up,he said *his dick is up*.,,,yet he says he is not gay…and he hates them.

    Even when I changed my pm to *I feel when some people are so very insecure about themselves,their sexuality and issues,they resort to use Homophobia as a defense *he was not happy saying I am referring to him,even wrote it on his comment that I am being bitchy….now,do straight guys use the word *bitch*?

    When you read that his long homophobic post on his wall now,you will see where he wrote he has big ass….which straight guy say such…..he just ousted himself with that post…

    U smell something….

    What is that?

    He is gay….full stop….

    • Mercury
      January 06, 14:32 Reply

      He wore a skirt to native and vogue in pH, need we say more?

  12. Max
    January 06, 07:46 Reply

    You keep getting better and better everyday. Beautiful piece..

  13. KyrxxX
    January 06, 07:47 Reply

    Awwwwwwwwwwww! So sweet! Love isn’t all about d physical nd loving a straight guy is like d hardest thing ever! It gives headache big time nd I think it is not even worth it.
    By the way, I love my fellow man because he is whom I am attracted to just like a straight is attracted to a woman. I didn’t choose it, IT CHOSE ME!

    • pinkpanthertb
      January 06, 07:48 Reply

      Whoa… Wait! I aint loving no straight guy o. This piece isn’t about my crush on my straight friend mbok.

  14. s_sensei
    January 06, 07:49 Reply

    This was really beautiful! I know this came from somewhere deep.

  15. Ueze
    January 06, 07:57 Reply

    Bia Pinky, love and sex in the city nko?

    • pinkpanthertb
      January 06, 08:01 Reply

      Coming from you… The lyrical master himself… I’m awash with appreciation. 😀

  16. Reverend Hot
    January 06, 08:06 Reply

    Remember when I literally fell in love with my best friend. He’s straight and he knows I like him. But nothin can go beyond that though.

  17. Khaleesi
    January 06, 08:43 Reply

    Another lovely piece from the queen of prose! ! I think the statement ‘how can you be attracted to a man who’s body is as hard and firm as yours’ has got to be one of the most stupid – we all know men who’s bodies are soft and flabby and not in any way hard …
    Back in Univ, i fell in love with a ‘straight guy’, i was so obsessed with him, i always wanted to be around him. I also sensed that he was attracted to me on some deeper level, but i was too scared to take things any further … it was pure torture and agony while it lasted … NEVER AGAIN!!!! The heartache isnt worth it, not when there are loads of available&already gay men waiting to be taken …
    Love is love is love regardless of gender, how can we get the homophobes to open their eyes to this immutable fact?

    • pinkpanthertb
      January 06, 08:45 Reply

      Nothing like an already made man to be the recipient of your desire. All these half-baked ‘gay’ men are simply too tiresome to desire.

        • gad
          January 06, 10:53 Reply

          What dogs do. *just thinking aloud*

  18. Mr Kassy
    January 06, 08:56 Reply

    Love is like an ocean current,it cannot be tamed.

  19. Chizzie
    January 06, 19:52 Reply

    There’s just something about a man’s body…everything seems proportional and well organized,women on the other hand seem like an after-thought.

    • gad
      January 06, 20:49 Reply

      Thank God for freedom of speech and cheap/free data

      • pinkpanthertb
        January 06, 23:13 Reply

        A gay man is allowed to feel that way, gad. Your snarkiness is unwarranted here.

      • Chizzie
        January 07, 06:47 Reply

        cheap? free? pls don’t be stupid gad.

        • xpressivejboy
          January 07, 07:45 Reply

          I’m with you, Chizzie, on this; Gad, you better try to act close to your age or shut the fuck up. Must you always comment?

  20. Stlexy
    January 08, 03:25 Reply

    Okay Kitodiarians lemme sha drop my new year testimony here… I used to have a Homophobic sister.. i call it used to because something changed. oya lemme drop my gist. see ehh I live in europe where being gay is normal, so anytime i visit naija, and am gisting my sister about my series of boyfriend experiences she just tends to ignore me completely, but she always wants me to hear her relationship raundevous, so I kept pushing up my TB gist each time we are having a relationship gist on ground. oya toor it turns out she just moved to yankee this new year na and went to court today in yankee for some document waka… na him she come see one gay couple wey come court to sign resgistry for their marriage.. na so she shock pick her fone take call me dey give me gist say, the experience was new to her and it felt normal, den the next words I heard from her was “My dear broda if na man u say u wan marry biko go ahead I give you my full support by the way this life na just once” Fellow KD’s my miracle is on the way e remain my papa and mama to change their heart to accept me oo… anyways am feeling happy about this and i thought I should share it with my fellow KD’s make una no worry one day most Africans will get used to the fact that love is love and it doesn’t matter whom you choose to love.

    • pinkpanthertb
      January 08, 03:31 Reply

      Hallelujah! 🙂
      Now write it up as a story and send so we can all read.

      • gad
        January 08, 04:21 Reply

        Ministry of health has endorsed kitodiaries as a possible cure for internalized homophobia and depression. I’m also thinking of recommending a relocation to the Yankees (wherever that is) as another likely cure for homophobia. Who says we are not making progress

  21. Constant
    January 08, 17:26 Reply

    Beautiful piece…well put together…I remember the time I fell in love with a straight guy during NYSC camp days…..I thought the guy was giving me an hint by his gestures only for him to run away after I told him my mind…BTW we are still friends but not as close as before….

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