That Piece About Queer Feminists Wanting to Eliminate Masculinity

That Piece About Queer Feminists Wanting to Eliminate Masculinity

Originally published on

“Right now the Black gay community is teaching Black gay men how to be better women.”

I made this statement a couple of days ago on Cypher Avenue’s message forums page after reading former NFL gay player now Queer activist, Wade Davis’ Ebony article.

I recently scanned his TedTalk posted on where he made some good points BUT what stood out to me was what he stated in the description surrounding the video.

“Growing up, I loved that people saw me as a masculine man. I loved the power, the access, the respect and the perceived safety that masculinity provided me. So in late 2015, when the University of Florida asked me to give a Ted style talk at their 2016 TedX Conference in March, I decided to call it “The Mask of Masculinity.”

“As I wrote in my recent essay explaining, why more Black men should be feminists, I wanted to use personal narrative to highlight the big problem with masculinity. Here’s a hint: It’s NOT real.

“We raise young boys to wear a mask of toughness in order to be a man, and we rob them of their childhood and their innocence.

“Masculinity is a performance and a mask we, men, wear to shield ourselves from pain, and the performance of masculinity never ever means freedom and self-love. It’s time to get free.”

Reading his article, viewing the video and understanding the context, I agree; many men wear masks. In conjunction to this, recalling the collective vlogs and articles out there from Black Queer (male and female) Feminist activists; I’m going to double down on my statement that “right now, the Black gay community is teaching Black gay men how to be better women.”

For feminists like Wade Davis to say “Masculinity is NOT REAL” and “It’s time to get free of masculinity” is reprehensible and dangerous. Feminist and black gay people are now crossing over the threshold and saying masculinity is false and the only way to a fulfilling true authentic self is to erase and free yourself from it. By saying this, queer feminists are saying something is wrong with masculinity.

These statements are disgusting.

Almost everyone wears or has worn masks. This is not something unique to men or masculinity. As the Black gay community continues to align itself with feminists and self-identifying queers, what this misguided disingenuous group think will continue to proliferate until their ultimate goal is achieved: the eradication of all things masculine. Except for masculine lesbians and transgender men; for this class, masculinity is allowed and empowering.

I’ve been hearing for years that masculine gay or same gender loving men are pretending, faking, self-hating, homosexual internalizing homophobes who are not living in their truths. They’re going about this “gay thing” all wrong.

I’m beyond sick and tired of these mainstream feminist queer activists (who dictate and control the narrative) saying that my maleness and existence is wrong. This is no different than the heterosexual community telling me my sexuality is wrong and I’m an unnatural abomination. This is in the same line of thinking that says if I just submit and conform to their way of thinking (adopting their religion, repenting, praying the gay away, get a wife and start a family), that all will be right within my spirit.

The same way I reject and don’t kneel to pray at that heterosexual altar, I will not kneel and pray at the altar of queer feminism. I reject the preaching that my masculinity, pride in maleness and way of life is unnatural because I’m not living within the Queendom of their brand of homosexuality.

Western Feminism will always have its roots with heterosexual white females and the women’s right movement of the early 20 century. Which mean its roots are in heteronormativity.

As I stated in the article, Black Gay Coons, many gay men exhibit exaggerated hyper-effemininity because they have been influenced or conditioned by gay culture and media narratives that that this is how the male homosexual is to behave or conduct themselves.

Will these self-identifying queers ever tackle and discuss the negative qualities of feminism? Will they ever address how destructive the mask of the exaggerated hyper-effemininity that saturates gay cultures and lifestyles is?

Dear feminist and queer feminist, there’s a reason you’ll most likely never hear someone say “femininity is a myth” or “it’s not real”. This is because that would be stupid and insulting to women and naturally effeminate men.

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  1. bruno
    January 14, 08:26 Reply

    the writer misunderstands. I don’t think anyone who is being their authentic self as a masculine person is bothered by “masculinity is a mask” statement. it is directed at those who hide who they are because of a desperation to confirm to social expectations. those who have become unable to express healthy emotions because they now think it makes less of man. the true message here is not that there is anything inherently wrong with masculinity but that there is something wrong with a society that pressures us to be that way sometimes to toxic extremes.

    masculinity is great. feminity is great. the important thing is that everyone is allowed to be himself without judgement. society is failing in that aspect. hence the feminist backlash.

  2. Delle
    January 14, 09:10 Reply

    How can masculinity be generally termed as a mask? I get where the writer is coming from but then again, being masculine or feminine isn’t something that anyone can rehearse (although some have perfected the skill of acting so well, you may never know).

    I think all these stems from the belief that many gay men, because of the fear of emasculation, tend to go overboard in their quest for masculinity. While some overdo it, I believe there are those that are quite the embodiment of maleness and all the glory that come with it. And they do so effortlessly.

    Wade generalising is what’s wrong but does he have a point, yeah, he does. Let’s just agree there really are those that are effortlessly feminine and masculine while there are others that exaggerate their femininity and masculinity. The latter just tire me out.

  3. ambivalentone
    January 14, 10:07 Reply

    This person obviously doesn’t know there is a THIRST for ‘masculine’ men in the community. I believe it is the ‘rights and privileges’ that come with being ‘masculine’ that is the issue here- An annoying tendency to be bossy, selfish, have feelings of entitlement and generally be a toe-rag. Just about everything feminists don’t want to see in a man

  4. Richard Moore
    July 14, 16:30 Reply

    I guess we have a misunderstanding here.

    While growing up there’s this perception we’ve had about what makes a “real man”, and there’s this annoying sense of entitlement that’s likely to creep in when you exhibit those “manly” qualities. It’s this kind of mentality that also makes guys that don’t fit into that mould feel like they’re lesser beings because of it.

    What I believe? That perception of manliness is not the ultimate. Be good with your football games. Be a descendant of Hercules. Be on suit and tie 24/7. Play football every Saturday morning. But I’m not less of a man because I don’t do any of that. I’m not more of a man because I do either. I’m a man, period.

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