This entry should probably begin with a definition of happiness. What is happiness? What do we mean when we say we are happy? What does it mean to be happy? The difficulty experienced even by experts in putting into words something so subjective and elusive goes to show how words can sometimes be an imperfect means of expression. We all KNOW happiness because we have all experienced it, no matter how momentarily. Oya define it for us na? Na dia problem go start.

There are many definitions of happiness out there. I think I like the definition of happiness by Sonja Lyubomirsky, a positive psychology researcher. In her book, The How Of Happiness, she defines happiness as “the experience of joy, contentment, or positive well-being, combined with a sense that one’s life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile.” This definition is not perfect but it’s a useful one because it manages to capture various aspects of happiness in a sentence. Keep this definition in mind because we will come back to aspects of it in the remaining part of this article.

So you are homosexual and you are being stigmatized for it. People call you all sort of names, they think you are an evil disgusting lowlife. Shockingly, some even think you don’t deserve to live. You have achieved enough to make your family proud of you, yet because of your sexuality they aren’t. Without a doubt, your sexuality puts you in a very precarious position. We know for a fact that the struggle to wipe out homophobia will span several generations. In other words, you will not see the end of homophobia in your lifetime. This also means that you will never have the kind of acceptance you yearn for in society, not in this lifetime. How then will you handle this sexuality-homophobia conundrum? You could either allow society’s attitude towards you and your sexuality affect you to such an extent that you live out your days in misery. ..Or you can choose to transcend it all and BE HAPPY.

Notice I said you can CHOOSE? Whenever a person is feeling blue, there usually is an accompanying feeling of HELPLESSNESS. We are certain that this helplessness is a feeling and NOT a fact. When you think you are helpless, perhaps because you FEEL helpless, what is happening is that your emotional state is leading your thought and your rational brain has gone to sleep. Thus begins your journey to irrationality. Helpless is just what you THINK you are, not necessarily what you are, being unproven. The fact that you have not been able to help yourself in the past does not conclusively prove that you are or were helpless. Perhaps you just didn’t know how to help yourself. That’s not all. You CHOSE to think that you are helpless. Do you disagree? Perhaps something else is thinking those thoughts for you? If that is the case, like seriously, that’s a diagnosable psychiatric condition. Thinking that you have no control over your feeling is farther from reality that the contrary assertion.

I find it amusing how people will fight to defend and justify their misery. Strange, but we do it all the time. When you think that “so and so has happened to me and therefore my depression is justified”, be aware that this is simply what you have CHOSEN to believe. Misery, being negative is something you should purge and not protect! Yes, we all know that human sadness is a understandable response to adversity. However, it does not absolve us from responsibility for our mental and emotional state. Neither does it justify our fighting off people who come to talk us out of our misery! No one, not even God will come into your mind to THINK for you, or choose your thoughts for you. You are sovereign lord in your mental kingdom and you are fully in charge and will always be fully responsible for what happens there in. Choosing to believe that you are sovereign is your mind is advantageous not only because it is actually true, but also because it reveals to you YOUR OWN POWER. As it happens with every person in a position of authority, power can be intelligently used or ABUSED. You cannot control what people do or say to you but you absolutely can control your response to them. Tell me, darling. What kinds of response have you been choosing?

Thoughts are very powerful. According to the principles of the cognitive therapy, thought determines feeling. Even though we do not have a perfect definition of happiness, we know that is an internal state that is characterised by thoughts and feelings. When we become aware of the relationship between what we are thinking and feeling, keeping in mind our ability to consciously choose our thought, we become empowered to take charge of our mental milieu.

But why on earth would you want to control your thoughts and feelings? Thing is, you already are determining your thoughts and feelings. You mental kingdom is currently in a state of anarchy, not because it has no king but because it has a king who has failed to take charge. You have allowed thoughts to run amok; feelings are given a free rein and are embraced without question. This is the state of being you have chosen on a daily basis.

Now, tell me. What would make you very happy? “If I get my dream job, I will be happy”. “If I can get my dream boyfriend, I will be happy”. “If society accepts me for whom I am, I will be happy”. But the question is this: who made these conditions? YOU DID.

So this is how the story goes. First, you encounter a thing. Then you begin to want it. But you cannot get it at that moment, so you become sad and then you say, “If I get so and so thing, I will be happy”. In other words, you have made your happiness dependent on the occurrence of a specific event which you cannot control. Is that a smart thing to do? Now let us apply this specifically to your sexuality.

Society does not accept you for being homosexual. That’s just how it is. This makes you unhappy, doesn’t it? What is the source of this unhappiness? It arises not from your village, not from your community, but from inside you. YOU are the source of both happiness and sadness. Happiness is not a state of the world but a state of being.

Yes, the society set the stage but you chose to act the script. They paid the piper but you chose to dance to the tune. They drafted the contract and you signed it. You want acceptance and you are not getting it, and so you have chosen to think that when people don’t accept you, it is BAD. It is impossible for “BAD” and happiness to co-exist. You can either lie down there or die in misery or you have got to elevate the argument and change your strategy.

A way out is this: stop wanting people to accept you for who you are. Think about it for a minute. Why on earth should you spend your life wanting something you can never have? Is it reasonable to do this? If you stop wanting people to accept you, rejection by homophobes can’t hurt you anymore. Tell me what is more liberating than this! When they come seething, raging, hating and cussing, you’d sit there truly calm and unruffled, watching them labour, unperturbed by their ignorance. So this is the key: set people free to be stupid. And guess what? They will be stupid anyway. The only person that benefits from this decision is YOU, not them. And believe me, you need every benefit you can afford because your life is already hard enough as it is. Inner calm does not mean you will no longer passionately speak up against homophobia. Neither does it mean you will sit and watch while they plunder you and your possessions. You are only admitting that they have something that they already have which is freedom to think whatever they like. In other words, you are not giving anything to them but to yourself. Realize that people are free to be wise or stupid. Bless their freedom since you expect them to bless yours (as long as they don’t cross your personal physical space). The benefit in this is enormous!

When you decide to think thus, your heart becomes permanently out of their reach. Since you don’t want their approval anymore, they would reject you and you will not feel a thing. This is transcendence. Imagine how it would feel like to attain a state in which people’s attitude towards you and your sexuality truly doesn’t matter anymore. Think about the weight that would be taken off your shoulders in such a state. Some among us have gotten angry to the point where they declare that society’s opinion of them doesn’t matter anymore. Concerning this, I have two things to say. First, the aim here is to achieve happiness. Happiness and anger are conflicting emotions and cannot coexist simultaneously in the same mind. When you are angry, you are most definitely not happy. Second, they have pissed you off and so you declare that they don’t matter anymore. But the question is this, if they truly don’t matter anymore, why are you still angry? They say they don’t like you and you say it doesn’t matter, yet you are still breathing fire like Khaleesi’s dragons? The truth is that it still matters to you; THEY still matter to you, and that is the source and cause of your anger. I find it amusing when a person declares to another “You don’t matter to me” and then goes right ahead to type 100 vitriolic comments in reply. All that energy expended for someone or something that doesn’t matter? The amount of anger you generate in response to an event or person is directly proportional to how important a person or event is to you. We have made the homophobes too important. That is why we are as depressed as we are and as angry as we are.

But now, we reach for happiness.

Written by Sensei

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  1. ken
    October 07, 08:10 Reply

    Happiness to me is finding someone to share the rest of my life with. Whether male or female….

  2. Chic
    October 07, 08:18 Reply

    Nicely written Sensei.

    Everyone can relate to this – gay, straight and everything in between.

  3. Jon Snow
    October 07, 08:41 Reply

    My sense making Sensei, you know I love you with the life of me to bits and pieces….

    but some parts of this writeup I want you to clearify.

    Like you rightfully pointed out- we will not see the end of homophobia in this life time, but should we then fold our hands and watch Homophobes run amok and allow their hate spread like cancer? if we do that, how would we come to that point of acceptance that the future generations will benefit from?

    There is a level of stupidity that becomes a threat to human existence
    (and trust me, homophobes come in varying degrees of stupidity).

    If you allow it slide simply because it does not get to you, how do you make the world a safer place for others that are not as thick skinned as you???

  4. sensei
    October 07, 09:15 Reply

    Dear Jon Snow, thank you for your comment. I did say that allowing people to b stupid doesn’t mean you should no longer speak up against homophobia or just sit and watch while they plunder your possessions. Self preservation is a fundamental instinct and so when your life is threatened, it will kick in. And that is perfectly okay.
    And when I said you should allow people to be stupid, I didn’t exactly say you should let things slide. It remains our duty to address issues always. But I’m simply trying to show how you can do that without getting hurt emotionally. You do not need anger to educate people, else all school teachers should be very angry people. In fact, the angrier you are, the less likely you are to teach and communicate effectively. Some don’t care for happiness. All they want is anger and revenge. But if you wanna be happy, you simply cannot simultaneously be an angry person.

  5. Richard Moore
    October 07, 09:45 Reply

    This is the reason why you’re Sensei. Love you and love this article. xxx

    • Jon Snow
      October 07, 15:43 Reply

      He’s already taken…and no, you’re not welcomed to share ?
      go get your own ?

  6. Max
    October 07, 09:55 Reply

    Few shades here and there.. Almost spoilt the otherwise well written piece.
    However, I’m curious to know if you’ve achieved that mental state you talked about in this piece.

    • sensei
      October 07, 10:33 Reply

      Lol! I didn’t intend to “shade” anyone. Have I achieved that state? I will say I have started the journey and it is an incredible experience.

    • Tiercel de Claron
      October 07, 10:52 Reply

      I didn’t see any shade thrown,Max.
      Maybe a mirror or two held up.

      Speaking for myself,I’ll say I’m well on my way in pursuit of happiness.It’s been a worthwhile experience too,learnt so many things about myself and other people.

  7. Chizzie
    October 07, 10:49 Reply

    This re -echoed what I wrote on the post abt depression, and how I mentioned that depressed people are mentally lazy and allow themselves to be depressed. As a result I was labelled as abrasive and insensitive, plus you took a neutral stance (as usual) on the issue, so I’m surprised you penned this.

    I agree with some of what was written, but there was a pessimistic and conclusive nature to some of your remarks . You saying that homophobia will most likely not be eliminated in our life time, and that we in homophobic climes will NEVER have the acceptance we desire in our society – Grim much?
    Its like you are insinuating that people instead of being miserable, adapt to their situation and be happy because after all things will never change.

    An integral part of happiness is change and hope. Sometimes happiness isn’t just determined by one’s state of mind but also by one’s immediate environment. In such cases, to obtain long lasting happiness, you either leave said environment or effect change!

    Next time, leave room for people to hope for change, regardless of how outlandish it may seem

    • sensei
      October 07, 11:08 Reply

      Chizzie, depressed people are not mentally lazy oh! If we can say that about them, then same would apply to all of us when we allow our emotions to run amok and take over. Mental control is something everyone needs to learn, even you. We are all deficient in this. So would you say that even you too are mentally lazy?
      Concerning my grim outlook on homophobia, my dear, just look at the history books. Obviously it takes generations to wipe out things of this sort. Generations have come and gone yet racism is still here with us!

  8. Khaleesi
    October 07, 10:58 Reply

    ***standing ovation as always**** Sensei!!! you are indeed a major purveyor of brain-gasms!!! your brilliance is dazzling. However, i disagree as well as agree with bits and pieces of this beautiful piece. Despite the fact (arguable), that happiness comes from within the person, no man is an island, humans are designed to be social animals hence, external factors in our environment have a major influence on the happiness even as it comes from within us.
    I do agree that we ought to work actively on detaching as much as possible from the obsessive need for societal approval, and focusing more on inner peace and happiness …

    • sensei
      October 07, 11:12 Reply

      Thank you, Khaleesi. I totally agree with you. Man is a social animal and therefore external factors play a role in determining happiness. But what is the difference between an optimist and a pessimist? Is the cup half full or half empty? I mean, the same goddamn cup generates two distinct attitudes from two people? So my point is this, what happens in the environment is only half the equation. Respond, and the circle is complete.

  9. sensei
    October 07, 11:24 Reply

    Abeg just to clarify, this article is not addressed to depressed people. It is addressed to EVERYONE including myself because even I have things to learn from that article. These are things I apply in my own life daily. So I didn’t set out to attack or label any group of persons please! And didn’t say depressed people are mentally lazy. You would be closer to my thought on the matter, if you say that we all (including myself) are suffering from some sort of mental anarchy.

    • Peak
      October 07, 13:47 Reply

      Thank you for taking the time to clear that up, cos half way into the read, I felt like pissing and taking a shit all over ur feet. Second half into the article, I began to see the general view of the message being transported with the read. Like @Chic mentioned above, this applies to everyone, gay, straight and everything in between. Brilliant read as always.

      Thank you once again.

  10. ronniephoenix
    October 07, 11:33 Reply

    I didn’t read the piece, but one thing I got is that there was some shade at depressed people.
    I am depressed, actually bipolar. I didn’t choose to be depressed, nor do I want to be depressed. But when people who claim to know what being depressed(you sensei included) still make comments about “choosing” to stay depressed it reeks of ignorance and stupidity ( sorry if that sounded insulting).

    I did not choose to be depressed, and will never do so.

    Get your facts right before spewing crap.

    • JustJames
      October 07, 11:52 Reply

      You didn’t read the piece but you concluded that shade was thrown at depressed people..

      And you’re asking people to get their facts right

      My dear you are guilty of what you’ve just asked people not to do

      Pot.. Kettle..

    • Peak
      October 07, 14:07 Reply

      Lol @ ronniephoenix. You do realise that you shot urself in the foot by admitting you didn’t read the article but somehow have a ready made summary of the message in it.

      About the “shade” some commenters seem to be talking about, my mind didn’t scream “shade” when I started reading at 1st, instead I thought “ignorance and misinformed” were the words that came to mimd. Unlike you ronniephoenix, I took the time to read the article, ALL of it, and realised that there was more to it than just mental and emotional state. There is nothing particularized about it. Its a generally structured message that is applicable to every human being.

      I implore you to read through again and gain better understanding of the discourse instead of drawing up unfounded conclusions.xoxo

    • ronniephoenix
      October 07, 14:37 Reply

      Seroiously like you expect me to take ur comments serious. Mtchew.

      I didn’t need read the piece because I got pissed at the shade thrown at depressed persons. Nothing justifies prejudice and stigmatization against depressed persons no matter what.

      Reading the piece would only cause me more pain and I don’t need that in my life right now, am just 17 I still got a lot of living to do ( that is if the stigmatization doesn’t rob me of my senses).

      Your hate isn’t needed, life itself is hard enough for me.


      • Pink Panther
        October 07, 15:10 Reply

        Guy, your indignation is premature. The lecture is for you to get to the end of the piece before you fly off the handle. The fact that after all said and done, you still haven’t taken the time to read the post to know what you’re missing, but instead are maintaining your pissed-off attitude says more about you than any other thing.

    • ronniephoenix
      October 07, 15:04 Reply

      @tdc I read a lot, a lot more than you imagine, your shade is totally useless and uncalled for.

      I am no “average” nigerian who doesn’t know how to read, I would not be on a blog as this if I wasn’t a reading person.

      • Jon Snow
        October 07, 15:50 Reply

        Classic Foot in mouth syndrome. Honnay are you in your period???
        Mbok take several seats on some ice.

    • Chizzie
      October 07, 15:37 Reply

      You didn’t read the post because, lets be honest, you figured it was too long and you probably lack the mental discipline or patience to read such a lengthy post comprehensively. Its no wonder you are depressed because, yes, you are mentally lazy.

      I didn’t see how this post was shady in anyway to depressed people, yet you, without even reading, concluded that it was. Which again is what depressed people do- make irrational conclusions. The logical thing to do, would have been to read it thoroughly and then make an intelligent observation. But you chose to assume and listen to the voices in your head.

      You are depressed because, like you have clearly illustrated today, you listen to the voices in your head and make hasty decisions without reasoning logically which is the hallmark of someone who is mentally lazy.

      • ronniephoenix
        October 07, 16:16 Reply

        O chizzie dear, I know you have a reputation of being a bitch but I will give you the same reply I gave to teflondon some time ago. You are a useless bitch that is so useless the breath you take up is wasted.

        You my dear are a stupid bitch, a useless one at that.

        I normally do answer stupid idiots and shameless useless bitches like you, but I really need to answer this time around.

        I didn’t read because I didn’t want to not because it was too long, u clearly are stupid.

        • Chizzie
          October 07, 16:55 Reply

          Haha the truth stings, doesn’t it? Calm down, take some lithium carbonate pills, or whatever it is you folks take, and play some Sudoku to fleek those mind muscles. You’ll be fine soon ?

          • Brian Collins
            October 08, 07:18 Reply

            Chizzie i will agree with ronnie on this one. Honay child you is a stupid bitch.

        • Teflondon
          October 07, 18:55 Reply

          Why are depressed people always so violent on little irrelevant things.. Max Et al and now Ronniephonix. If only Yall can channel all those inside fury into the labour market and make some REAL money for yourselves, your lives would be so much better.

    • Brian Collins
      October 08, 07:12 Reply

      I read the initial comment and read the replies and then the next comnent and the i saw ’17’ and i thought to myself ‘impatient 17 year old’ and i realised that it was wrong for me to think like that. I felt like i insulted every other person who was once 17 and wasn’t an impatient fool then i realised that i may not understand what ronniephoenix is going through. I just thought ronnie was more reasonable than to not read an article and then say all sorts about it.
      Chizzie shey you have seen your handiwork, what wonderful cauldron of witches’ brew you have.

  11. sensei
    October 07, 11:54 Reply

    This article was NOT addressed at people suffering from clinical depression. Unless you expected me to add a disclaimer on that at the end.
    And for God’s sake you didn’t even read the piece! Who do you think should be getting facts right before spewing Crap, ei?
    How on earth can you mak a factual statement without actually READING the article? Na wah oh!

    • Tiercel de Claron
      October 07, 13:00 Reply

      Welcome to present day Nigeria,where people read only screaming headlines or someone else’ opinion of it,no matter how ill-informed,before jumping to conclusions.

    • ronniephoenix
      October 07, 14:43 Reply

      Well sensei, next time make it very clear what you are reffering to, to avoid confusion.

      But no matter what depression is depression, and none should be taken lightly.

  12. sensei
    October 07, 12:04 Reply

    To clarify again, there is a huge difference between clinical depression which an illness and depression as used in everyday speech which is NOT an illness. When I say “depressed” in this article, I am not referring to clinical depression for which specialised treatment would be needed. I use the term “depressed” to mean “unhappiness” which everyone can experience. Clinical depression is a distinct entity that is diagnosed following a rigid set of criteria. It has a prevalence of 10 – 20% in the general population.

  13. Colossus
    October 07, 14:10 Reply

    Would some people just read the Damn article? When you do then it’s easier to discuss and critique.
    You define your happiness, it’s really that simple. Only when you do can you learn tackle your future.
    Good one sensei, I’m going to bookmark this. Helps to go back to it on some days when the self inflicted fog refuses to lift.

  14. ronniephoenix
    October 07, 14:56 Reply

    When people comment on the post and trying to throw shade use the “didn’t read the post” line, like “DAFUCK” I don’t need to read a post through and through to understand the point.
    Look for someone else to pick on, I don’t need your hate bitches.

    At least every one will agree with me that depression is a serious problem (except maybe teflondon, I gave him a little piece of my mind the last time, the bitch) and should be treated as such, it doesn’t mean the depressed person is weak or something like that.

    We all are different, some may be able to take it and some may not. These doesn’t mean the person is weak, it means you can take it and the person can’t.

    Instead of discriminating, love should be expressed towards the person. Stigmatization and discrimination is no cure

    • Pink Panther
      October 07, 15:06 Reply

      Ronnie, you don’t need to read a post through and through to understand the point? Are you for real?

      • ronniephoenix
        October 07, 15:25 Reply

        @pink, I do not want to read the post because it pisses me off, and no matter what I still will not read it.

        When shade is thrown without weighing the consequences it becomes stupidity.

        He should just accept his mistake and stop telling me to read the post same goes for every one here ( you pink included)

        • Peak
          October 07, 16:22 Reply

          @ ronniephoenix, dude! Don’t u think you are being overly dramatic over nothing? Fine! Don’t read it if you think it’s going to unsettle you, but keep it in mind that you have no grounds to assess or critique a piece you didn’t bother to read.
          You are making it sound like it’s an attack on ur person by asking you to read before reaching a conclusion, at least that is what one would expect from an educated mind.

          About the shade campaign you are going on about, unless we both read a completely different article, I saw no shade. Not to you or to a depressive person. There is no shame in admitting you misunderstood the piece because of the tone of the 1st few paragraphs which could have been fixed if you READ THROUGH. The writer has equally gone on to clarify the misconceptions that may arise from reading the piece for us all when meaning were being read into it. What more do u want?

          And stupidity, stigmatisation? Dude! Really?

    • ronniephoenix
      October 07, 16:39 Reply

      @peak, I know I misunderstood and that he clarified, but the clarification came a little late.

      My problem is this stupid bitches throwing shade and insult at me with the ” you didn’t read the post” nonsense.

      Like seriously get a life bitches, being a bitch is no achievement.

      @peak, you seem like a person with brains unlike some useless and stupid bitches here.

  15. Kester
    October 07, 15:44 Reply

    Sensei this was an excellent piece. I appreciate and will bookmark it for reference. Please ignore little children with soiled pampers crying for an elusive mommy. Maybe bipolarity is an excuse to whine….. who cares? People are going through worse things and haven’t gotten their titties twisted. Cry cry baby…. shay shay shay shaaaaame!!

    • ronniephoenix
      October 07, 16:03 Reply

      O kester being a stupid bitch is not nice at all.
      Bipolar disorder is one of the worst mental ilnesses, you would know that if you took time to actually learn.

      I so do not give a fuck about what how different my life is from other people. I care about myself first others second

  16. Silver Cat
    October 07, 16:16 Reply

    Ofu onye di depressed, dikwa bipolar. Nna pick a struggle nah.
    And if truly U are depressed or bipolar or both, get my email from Pinky. I have a cocktail that’ll cheer U up.
    Sensei, good write up. I used to joke with a friend about Inner Chi/Peace and Yoga. Sounds like we aren’t so off the mark.

    • ronniephoenix
      October 07, 16:21 Reply

      @silver cat, I am bipolar, but I also have a lot of other mental illnesses.

      Thanks for the invitation, but no thanks.

      Bipolar is more than just being sad, it is being so sad you become suicidal.

  17. ronniephoenix
    October 07, 16:51 Reply

    And one more thing, I am an asexual transgender person, please tone down with the masculine pronouns.

    Thank you.

    • Chizzie
      October 07, 17:06 Reply

      Asexual transgender? Wait so i don’t get, what should we refer to you as? ‘It’ ? Jeez what a mess

    • Max
      October 07, 18:28 Reply

      @Ronnie, after reading your comments, I finally agree that you really are bipolar.

      @Chizzy, stop it!!. There’s a new title for gender nonconforming people. Mx.

      And also, everyone should stop replying @Ronnie, you people should sit down and read about bipolar. When someone with bipolar is sad, it makes them feel like the whole world is against them, so no matter what you say, it wouldn’t make a difference. Throwing insults at him wouldn’t help either. So everyone should please keep mute and let him get out of this mental state.

  18. Wytem
    October 07, 16:53 Reply

    Reading the article as good as it is ,is really not compulsory.Kindly note that you have no right to an opinion when you did not bother to read it!

    • ronniephoenix
      October 07, 17:01 Reply

      @wytem, I understand your point, but my problem is people calling depressed persons weak, that is stupid as it is outragious.

      Your point is dully noted.


  19. Jon Snow
    October 07, 17:57 Reply

    **I just rolled my eyes so hard, I think I saw my brain in there**

    Snap out of it honnay, that indignation looks so silly on you.

  20. sensei
    October 07, 18:10 Reply

    Dear RoniePhoenix,
    I want to express my deep regrets that this article brought you such harsh, unfair comments. I do still think (and im sure you know this too) that you cannot judge an article accurately without reading it. It is simply impossible. And on that count, dear, you were wrong. If you want to be treated fairly, the least you can do is to be fair to others also. I say this without malice. I’m sure if you wrote and article, you would want a critic to actually read it first? Lol! That said, I want to say emphatically that bipolar is a condition that should be taken very seriously. Please do not take to heart the comments that make light of your suffering. I would never do that.
    @Kdsians: so you know, many brilliant minds and artistic geniuses historically (and even now) suffer/ed from bipolar illness. E.g. Catherine Zeta Jones, Ernest Hemmingway and Van Gough. It’s most unfair think that a person would deliberately choose to be ill. RonniePhoenix, being someone who suffers from bipolar disorder, understandably reacted the way she did because it’s a very personal and sensitive topic for her. Her reaction is totally human and understandable.

    • ronniephoenix
      October 07, 19:28 Reply

      @sensei, I will just shut out this bitches from my mind and sight.

      Thanks for the apology, and I also apologise for the way I reacted, when I saw the post I went into a hyper manic episode and have been snaping at everyone.

      I have been “silent” on this blog for this same reason. A lot of people looking for where to channel their hatred will always find someone to bully.

      Anyway, I will let these die here. I have a lot of things to think about. I am waiting for admission, I am in love with a straight guy ( not like I would want to have sex with him or any thing) and my family is facing some “craziness”.

      I will stop my rant now.

      I will be the bigger person and apologise for my statements, I wasn’t feeling well.


      • sensei
        October 07, 22:45 Reply

        Stay strong, gurl! You gonna be alright. *hugs*

  21. Max
    October 07, 18:18 Reply

    I’ve been gone for a few hours and people are throwing tantrums already? Hmmm.

  22. Teflondon
    October 07, 19:22 Reply

    Despite my very VISIBLE challenges.. I’m a very happy person.

    My favorite song ‘Beautiful’ by Avril Lavigne
    I’m beautiful no matter what people say..
    I CHOSE to be happy regardless of people’s opinion abt me, my life Etc
    You need to take charge really! It’s your life and at the end of the day, you and YOU alone bear the consequences of whatever state of mind you find yourself. I still maintain that to avoid regular depression (Note not the illness) you have to be strong mentally. No one will do it for you, you have to do it yourself.

    As for Ronnie bless your soul am a busy//changed man. I’ve been seeing your comments all afternoon. you just need a good dicking that would probably calm your nerves. Lol spare me all that Bipolar B*S some of us on here are suffering from worse but that doesn’t mean we should come brandishing it all over the blog to garner a few sympathy messages.
    My candid advise.
    Eat well, drink lots of water.
    Get engaged and make some cool cash.
    Be constantly on the recieving end of some good Dick or Dicks. (As my case maybe)
    Follow this and you will live long and be HAPPY!

    • ronniephoenix
      October 07, 19:33 Reply

      @tef ur comment is really funny, but as much as I feel attraction, it is not sexual.

      I would rather read, enjoy music and watch good tv.

      No dicks please, sometimes it repulses me, other times it pleases me, but no sex for me (maybe ever).

  23. Jeova Sanctus Unus
    October 08, 03:23 Reply

    The Question: To Read Or Not To Read.

    Ronnie dear, read. I also had issues with that part of the article (even after reading it) but Sensei’s disclaimer was all I needed (hopefully it gets prefixed).

    It was from fully watching a movie that had Alex, IK & Uti that I formed my opinion about them — I did break up my ’40 Days in Atlanta’ DVD pack just halfway through.

    Does anyone else notice what Uti’s name denotes when in block letters? ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°

    *gives the Cookie look to Ronnie* Guuuurrrrrl!! I didn’t know you had it in you. You was stuffin’ cocks in those bitches ears like can-you-hear-me and you wa’nt even frownin’. Wanna hang with the girls and I on Thursday? I swear we don’t talk about dicks…we just take ’em. And you better be bringin’ your own pot though, Trish don’t like sharin’.

    **This comment shouldn’t be considered, I was just exercising my fingers.

  24. ronniephoenix
    October 08, 11:39 Reply

    You guys are really something, anyway I am sorry for acting out of place.
    But really there are some real “bitches” on here.

    I really am a loving person, when I am not in my hypermanic mode.

    And @jsu( I can’t remember the full name) thanks, but no thanks.

    All you honeypots, goodbye and ( I would add god bless, but I don’t believe in that shit) live love.

    *hugs* and *kisses*.

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