Ever since I was young, I've had an unhealthy obsession with male nudity. I bought a whole movie I didn't like then just to see a scene of a naked male butt. Sometimes I’d buy a whole DVD then, back when DVD was popular, and I’d fast-forward every movie in it, searching for the scenes with a naked man in it.
I thought I would outgrow this, but it’s become clear to me that that’s not to be. My fascination with male nudity far outweighs any desire I may have of being intimate with anyone. I will be thirty in June, but I'm still very much a virgin. I've been in more than six relationships and the guys all ended up breaking up with me because I couldn't get myself to be intimate. Sometimes I think I am ready, then I work on preparing myself to have sex; I even fantasize about it and how good it should turn out, only to lose interest midway through it and beg off with excuses.
My lust for male nudity is quickly becoming my undoing. I spend the bulk of my salary hiring muscled men from the gym to strip naked for me. I don't touch them or anything. I just pay them to prance around my room with their ass cheeks flexing and their cocks swinging. And then later, I masturbate with the images imprinted in my head.
Last week, I knew I had a problem and if not resolved, I would perhaps check into a mental institution. My young cousin, whose naming ceremony I was there for after he was born, came to visit. He had turned out to be so ripped and muscular, and my weakness reared up its ugly head the moment I saw him. I came up with different excuses to see him naked, even giving him some of my most expensive clothes and insisting he try them on in my presence. Unluckily for me, he was wearing briefs as he tried the clothes on. I felt defeated and perverted at once.
And then, much to my intense relief, someone recommended this forum to me. After going through the stories here, I realise that the last thing people here will do is judge me or criticize me on this peculiarity of mine. All I ask for is sincere advice.
I'm currently dating a guy who matches me intellectually. He is compassionate, generous and understanding, and the last thing I want to do is lose him.
How do I cure my obsession with male nudity?
How do I bring myself to be intimate with a man – with my man?
Should I seek psychological help?
Am I perhaps an asexual or am I suffering from a rare case of internalised homophobia?
I really need help.
Submitted by Jason